| athletic people dating non athletic
Posted: 2/10/2007 10:44:20 AM | Can an athetic person who is obviously extremely health concerned and active everyday, make it work with someone who is not active and doesn't take as good physical care of themselves?
does the fact that one spends alot of their spare time working on thier health lead to relationship problems if the other will not follow? | |
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| athletic people dating non athletic
Posted: 2/10/2007 10:47:37 AM | | I don't think it should be a dividing issue, as long as the non-athletic person is doing something other than sitting at home. If it's a community project, or second job... something to keep mentally busy. I like to hit the gym on a daily basis, but it's something I do to make myself feel good, not something to define who I am. So long as the other person don't want me to stop working out, and if she were able to find something to do while I'm in the gym, I don't think it would be too much of an issue. | |
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| athletic people dating non athletic
Posted: 2/10/2007 10:47:44 AM | | I don't think it should be a dividing issue, as long as the non-athletic person is doing something other than sitting at home. If it's a community project, or second job... something to keep mentally busy. I like to hit the gym on a daily basis, but it's something I do to make myself feel good, not something to define who I am. So long as the other person don't want me to stop working out, and if she were able to find something to do while I'm in the gym, I don't think it would be too much of an issue. | |
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| athletic people dating non athletic
Posted: 2/10/2007 10:51:28 AM | lets say the person who is non athletic complains about hte other one working out. Exact words being "WHAT YOU HAVE TO WORK THREE TIMES A WEEK!" (actually its at LEAST three times a week).
the only time they approve of it is when THEY have something that THEY want to do or somewhere they want to go without the athletic person. | |
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Keljo
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Joined: 12/28/2005
Msg: 5 | |
| athletic people dating non athletic
Posted: 2/10/2007 10:53:35 AM | I am 'non athletic' for medical reasons, but I keep busy. I have a house to take care of and am usually busy painting, cleaning, doing small home improvement jobs or when the weather permits, enjoying my pool.
If a guy was 'too into' his workout schedule, I might take pause. There is more to life than working out. I went on vacation with friends and we had to wait for the one guy every day because he brought his weights on vacation and would not go anywhere until he did his 90 minute workout. I suppose snorkeling and water skiing in the ocean isn't a good enough workout?? THAT would be a turnoff for me. | |
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| athletic people dating non athletic
Posted: 2/10/2007 11:01:52 AM | | Then I say that is a problem. But you could fill in the blank with anything that someone is doing to better themselves and/or make themselves feel good about themselves and/or set aside time to do something that is just for them. That sounds like a very unhealthy kind of love relationship going on there. As in, the relationship is only good when you are keeping each other preoccupied. I would really question what kind of love that person felt for me to give me guilt trips and make me feel badly about doing something that is good for me and that fulfills me. People like that expect to be your only source of happiness and vice versa, and that's just . . . extremely unhealthy, in my point of view. | |
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| athletic people dating non athletic
Posted: 2/10/2007 11:09:26 AM | I don't care if she goes to the gym as much as I do (but it would be nice if she went with me and shared something that I care a lot about) but if we go camping and she's complaining the whole time about walking, or we go to Vegas and complaining she is tired from walking the strip...that could be a deal killer.
I would like someone to keep up with me, or even challenge me. | |
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| athletic people dating non athletic
Posted: 2/10/2007 11:13:20 AM | ~OP~ I used to believe opposites were the best options for a relationship. Now, there is no way I will date or become involved with anyone who isn't of the same mindset I am. That includes politics, religion, health, etc. I don't mean a carbon-copy of myself, rather someone whose values and priorities are similar to mine.
As for working out or athletisism, it's a must for me. I have to have a partner that is as conscious as I am about health issues, diet, and exercise. I've been with someone who didn't have the same ideology as me (with regard to working out/health) and it simply didn't work. He was jealous of my time at the gym, he began feeling threatened by the people there and our energy levels simply were no where near compatible. I won't do that again. I don't need or want a body-builder. But there needs to be a common ground as far as fitness level, eating habits, etc. That seems to tie into almost everything else in my life ~ I want someone who understands the concept and feels as strongly as I do.  | |
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| athletic people dating non athletic
Posted: 2/10/2007 11:31:49 AM | | I'm a gym rat myself. My partner wouldn't have to be a gym rat but would have to understand all the time I spend at the gym and not have a problem with it. | |
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| athletic people dating non athletic
Posted: 2/10/2007 11:54:23 AM | Speaking as a recently returning gym addict, I would say it'd be difficult to date someone that's not at least a little bit fit.
Then again, one lifestyle could inspire the other lifestyle to change. Whether the unfit person chooses to start joining their partner to the gym or the fit person decides to pig out more. I've heard that working out together can be great for a relationship, to say nothing of the sex life. | |
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| athletic people dating non athletic
Posted: 2/10/2007 12:05:38 PM | I'm not a gym rat, but I am VERY active in the outdoors- So if my partner isn't able to keep up physically, it's a problem. I tend to do a lot of very strenuous things- downhill skiing, kayaking, mountain biking, high country backpacking, wading powerful rivers when fishing, etc. If my partner isn't up to the task it could be dangerous for her, and i wouldn't want to place her in that situation. I don't want to feel guilty for leaving my partner behind, and I don't want her to feel guilty for holding me back. I have little free time and I want to be able to spend it with a partner who can handle what I do.
Now that doesn't mean I am always the one to dictate what we will do- I want to do the things she wants, too. But if She cant handle the physical activitiy that means we can NEVER do those things together. And I don't want to spend the little free time I have out there alone, while she stays at home alone. Given that choice, I would rather give up the activities than miss time with her. But that means giving up doing the things I love. So, I would prefer a partner who is physically fit. You don't have to have a sculpted body. I don't. But looks can be deceiving. I may not look like it, but I'm in better shape that you would think.
I personally don't really like going to the gym- would rather be hiking or mountain biking, or such. My ex used to go to the gym daily and she got angry if I wouldn't go with her. I like to be active, just get bored at the gym. For me, a good workout is taking my kayak down the river. I prefer that to the rowing machine. | |
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Keljo
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Joined: 12/28/2005
Msg: 12 | |
| athletic people dating non athletic
Posted: 2/10/2007 3:16:35 PM |
I personally don't really like going to the gym- would rather be hiking or mountain biking, or such. My ex used to go to the gym daily and she got angry if I wouldn't go with her. I like to be active, just get bored at the gym. For me, a good workout is taking my kayak down the river. I prefer that to the rowing machine.
AMEN! That was my point earlier. We were getting ready to spend the day on a boat, water skiing, snorkeling and diving for lobsters and we had to wait for this guy to do his weight lifting. If he would have been helping us get the boat ready, he would have had his weight lifting done (lowering the boat into the water, and getting supplies loaded onto the boat, etc) AND would have been helping us get on the water faster.
I would rather spend an hour hiking on a trail or swimming in the ocean than on a boring treadmill. | |
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| athletic people dating non athletic
Posted: 2/10/2007 3:29:31 PM | | I once went out with someone who was lazy and wouldn't walk anywhere 'if he could drive' plus he was not in shape, but heavy. Nothing worse than a lazy person who refuses to walk anywhere 'he could drive' I asked him what would happen if he ever got married.....and mentioned that taking his baby for a walk in the park is a very nice daddy thing to do. When he still was opposed I walked.....eccch....I need someone more active than that. Not that I am athletic and he has to be, but not wanting to take a walk is a dealbreaker to me. | |
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| athletic people dating non athletic
Posted: 2/10/2007 4:13:30 PM | | It wouldn't bother me if I met someone who wasn't into working out etc. the way I do, as long as they were healthy, not vastly overweight, and not lazy, and as long as they didn't resent the time I take out of my day(s) to do it. | |
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| athletic people dating non athletic
Posted: 2/10/2007 7:16:28 PM | I am not athletic by any stretch, but I like to play sports (horrid at them but give it my best) and get out in the fresh air.
I enjoy hiking and have re-learned the art of skiing.
This does not make me athletic in my eyes.
If I went to the gym three to five times a week religiously, that would give me an athletic body (at least it did before).
I have no problems seeing someone that is truly athletic, as long as he could handle that I am not.
I have no desire to go to the gym and pump iron etc three times a week again.
And when he is at the gym, I shall be hiking a mountain or painting the house or reading a darned good book, or finishing that cross stitch wedding gift for my girlfriend.
I think the diversity would make life a wee bit more interesting.
^^BG^^ | |
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| athletic people dating non athletic
Posted: 2/10/2007 8:10:39 PM | | The fact that the two individuals in question have differing activity levels I don't think is a major issue. But if he is complaining she spends so much time in the gym, I would be at least somewhat concerned. It seems to me that he should respect the fact that she is doing what she can to be as healthy as possible. If this means it leaves not time for the two of them to be together, then sure - that might be an issue. But very few people use *all* their spare time to work out so I would find that rare. | |
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| athletic people dating non athletic
Posted: 2/10/2007 8:40:51 PM | This is exactly why ppl who are active need to find someone who shares the same interest. People who are not into keeping healthy or being active(this can be applied to anything) will affect how you live your lifestyle.
My advice: Get out and stay active!!! | |
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| athletic people dating non athletic
Posted: 2/11/2007 8:01:28 AM | I would like to find someone who likes to workout, but if I don't, it wouldn't matter. As long as she doesn't smoke, or drinks alot. I always hear people who works out leads to better sex. But at the point of my life that working out is a priority. I always heard that Fitness & Dating go hand in hand. I know I'll have more confidence & more energy, which would be good when I start dating again. | |
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| athletic people dating non athletic
Posted: 2/11/2007 8:44:23 AM | | I believe it could become a relationship issue....To me your body is like a temple and you have a responsibility to take care of it....When someone fails to take care of it then it tells me there are many other concerns going on. Being physically apathetic leads to being mentally and spiritually apathetic as well......Unless you have a severe handicap that totally restricts exercise. However, I do believe in balance in life and people can be health nuts. I think such an obession spells a whole other set of issues relating to self centeredness. | |
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| athletic people dating non athletic
Posted: 2/11/2007 12:53:08 PM | I gotta be honest: The more fit I am, the more I notice how many people around me are out of condition, obese, etc. I can't help it. In a partner, if we really connected, I don't think it would bother me to be with a non-athletic person unless he was a total couch potato and unhealthy. But if he tried to pressure me not to spend the time I do working out, we'd have to have a serious discussion....
~Boots~ | |
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| athletic people dating non athletic
Posted: 2/11/2007 1:02:18 PM | I am, as my profile describes, a couch potato in recovery. A friend of mine is very active and she married someone likeminded. They both work & commute long distances, so there's not a lot of couple time for them. The fact that they both like working out & active things like skiing is a plus for both of them as they can spend time together doing things they enjoy. Plus they are both health conscious and want to live as long of a life together as possible.
For someone in the middle of the spectrum like me, dating someone who's very active might encourage me to be more active, but I probably wouldn't be able to keep up physically with running, etc. so it wouldn't be much fun for either of us. If someone was less active than me, as long as he didn't try to discourage me from working out, it might work, but I'd be worried I might give into my lazier impulses if I was with a guy who wasn't that active. | |
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| athletic people dating non athletic
Posted: 2/11/2007 3:24:03 PM | I believe a relationship can work as long as the couple works together. They don't have to do the same things, but as long as one party isn't sitting on the couch them there could be a medical reason that they are a little heavier than normal. I was fit all my life and after kids I have had the hardest time getting to my ideal weight but if I had a partner that was into the gym and asked me to go I would go and enjoy it and if I looked better after I left Bonus. Looks aren't everything, though they do help a little | |
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| athletic people dating non athletic
Posted: 2/11/2007 9:45:07 PM | | Guess it depends on what one considers athletic, someone who works out, or someone who plays semi pro football, or runs marathons on the weekends. Of course looks matter to a certain degree, but if you enjoy the persons company then isn't that what it is all about. | |
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| athletic people dating non athletic
Posted: 2/11/2007 10:59:12 PM | As many posters have already said.....athletic can mean a lot of different things. I like to workout but am not active in sports, I love outdoor activities....hiking, camping, etc. and would have a really hard time with someone who was inactive.
To me, lifestyle is like core values - for me to really "bond" we need to agree on that. | |
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| athletic people dating non athletic
Posted: 2/12/2007 2:53:57 AM | I guess I seem to be pretty fit and active from what my friends tell me.
As far as a womans body, I like a bit to grab and not too fussed with how lean they are or what their bodyfat is. As long as they are not excessively obese. Curvy and bubbly is fine. Women are generally going to be softer and more cuddly than men, which is what I like about a woman.
However, I would like a potential girlfriend to generally look after themselves. As long as they enjoy a hike, or a bike ride, and they eat a balanced diet with no drugs or smoking, I don't really care if they have an athletic bodytype or not. | |
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