| Hypothetical question
Posted: 2/13/2007 11:06:31 AM | This really is a hypothetical question that is based on something that happened to me years ago. It's kind of a silly question but I was just thinking about what I'd do if it ever happened again.
Let's say that there's a restaurant you LOVE. Like, L-O-O-O-OVEEEE it. Sometimes going to this restaurant is the only thing that brightens your day because the food is so good. Then let's say that you meet a woman that you want to take out to this restaurant (a specialty steakhouse that only serves steak and different sides) and treat her to dinner. You go on and on and on and on about how you love it, how you've had a horrible week and you can't wait for the opportunity to go there that weekend, how you couldn't stand to not get to go there in a few days, and so on and so on...
Then, let's say that during the entire time the woman is listening to you gush about the restaurant she's starting to panic. She doesn't eat red meat. Ever. There would be nothing there for her to eat but maybe some mixed vegetables or a little side salad that she'll be able to finish in about three minutes while you feast. She's more than willing to go along with you and just have some steamed broccoli because she wants to go out with you, but part of her thinks that she should say something about her diet and how that wouldn't be the best place for her to go.
Would you want her to say something and probably ruin your day, or go along and feel awkward while she watches you eat? | |
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| Hypothetical question
Posted: 2/13/2007 11:12:32 AM | | How did the topic of you not being a veggie not come up earlier... I would think that should be shared since it can be a different lifestyle... it's nothing to be shamed of, just makes communication that much easier... and then you would not have these "hypothetical questions" | |
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| Hypothetical question
Posted: 2/13/2007 11:14:20 AM | I'm not a vegetarian, I just don't eat steak, burgers, pork chops... basically anything that isn't chicken or seafood.
I just never mentioned it before he went on and on gushing about the place.
Oh yeah, to finish the story, I went along with him, hardly ate anything, he thought I was weird, and he never talked to me again. Haha.
That's why I'm askin' | |
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| Hypothetical question
Posted: 2/13/2007 11:25:04 AM | Tell him "I don't eat red meat"
Why is this so hard ? You are way over thinking this, stop trying to maneuver and just say what is on your mind.
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| Hypothetical question
Posted: 2/13/2007 11:32:03 AM | Yeah, I'm thinking I should have said something.
I'll know better next time.
I've just been in too many situations where I said I wasn't interested in doing something a guy wanted and he sat there pouting the entire time because he didn't get his way. I guess someone like that wouldn't really be worth my time, eh?
Oh well, that was years ago. Live and learn. | |
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| Hypothetical question
Posted: 2/13/2007 11:38:44 AM | | Just speak up. I am not a big red meat eater myself, no qualms telling people I don't want to go to a steakhouse. | |
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| Hypothetical question
Posted: 2/13/2007 11:40:01 AM | | Say something. Otherwise, he will wonder why you're not eating and may even think you have an eating disorder. | |
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idioms
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Joined: 11/21/2006
Msg: 8 | |
| Hypothetical question
Posted: 2/13/2007 12:09:20 PM | First of all hypothetical questions shouldn't be answered. They are trick questions. Just come out and ask what's on your mind instead of framing it the question under the cloak of being just a hypothetical question when in fact it's a big old bear trap.
Oh yeah, to finish the story, I went along with him, hardly ate anything, he thought I was weird, and he never talked to me again. Haha.
That's why I'm askin'
Ah, so it wasn't hypothetical after all? I am the queen of being dietary challenged, I am allergic to all grains and all dairy. I find ways to work around it without being obvious or weird.
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| Hypothetical question
Posted: 2/13/2007 12:15:24 PM | ^
Nah, it was just a question based on a past experience to get opinions about what I should have done. No devious underhanded intentions or bear traps were in my head at all. | |
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| Hypothetical question
Posted: 2/13/2007 12:16:58 PM | There is tactful ways to mention it to him... it was as simple as you asking "Do they serve anything besides red meat, because I really dont eat that" Its simple, and non-confrontational. You have voiced your concern without trying to alter the date directly (when a woman tries to change venues it is usually seen as a red flag by the way)
To your question he would have either said "no they dont", and then took you somewhere different if he had any decency...
OR...
he would have said "yes they serve other things dont worry" (I find it awfully hard to believe that they dont offer ANY decent kind of alternative... I have been to many steakhouses and they all had some kind of a chicken or salad dish... probably for this very reason)
Seems simple enough to me! Be direct and polite, and trouble doesnt find you as easily. | |
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| Hypothetical question
Posted: 2/13/2007 12:28:23 PM | Well, I wouldnt take a woman to a fave resturaunt of mine. I much prefer that she and I would try some place we had both never been to and make it an "our" thing. But most assuredly, the whole vegitarian thing would be a given before the outing began.
The question of this entire scenario then becomes: Did she just want to go out? Or did she want to go out with me? If such a minor thing such as veggie vs. meat is such an issue in her mind, and its worth noting, it should have been communicated. If on the other hand, a person says nothing, then it is nothing. So I'd be more then happy to let her sit and squirm, because she can't or won't communicate, and personally thats her loss.
Realistically, if a person is willing to put themselves in an uncomfortable position just to see if you'll chew your food awkwardly in regaurds to their unspoken sensitivities, it's a game. So play to win.
Hypothetically, of course. ;) | |
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| Hypothetical question
Posted: 2/13/2007 12:28:27 PM | You caught me.
I guess I need to go return my bear trap at Wal Mart.
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| Hypothetical question
Posted: 2/13/2007 12:34:10 PM | Naw, just buy explosives on ebay, their probibly cheaper. lol
You caught me.
I guess I need to go return my bear trap at Wal Mart.
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| Hypothetical question
Posted: 2/13/2007 12:37:53 PM | | I'd hope she would because if the shoe were on the other foot , say her favorite was a vegan place, I'd sure say something because I know I wouldn't enjoy myself. | |
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| Hypothetical question
Posted: 2/13/2007 1:06:39 PM | Oh my...a big old bear trap? Really?
Well don't take it back to walmart, angela....cuz it seems it caught us a hungry mamma bear ! intent on wrestlin' someone...anyone. Next time just throw her your steak, instead.
Or let her gnaw her own leg off....hypothetically speakin' that is. | |
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idioms
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Joined: 11/21/2006
Msg: 16 | |
| Hypothetical question
Posted: 2/13/2007 1:40:29 PM |
You caught me.
I guess I need to go return my bear trap at Wal Mart.
Hey hey hey, I didn't say there was anything wrong with your question, I was just saying ask it out right. It's not hypothetical if it's a real life situation.
What I do to get out of these situations is eat before hand if I know there is nothing suitable for me to eat at the restaurant or social gathering. I explain it away with late lunch at work, I am just not that hungry instead of saying steak makes me puke or in my case it's pizza or bread or ice cream. If I like the company I am in I am more than happy to watch them eat whatever while I enjoy their company and conversation. | |
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| Hypothetical question
Posted: 2/13/2007 2:04:56 PM | | Personally, I am a vegitarian and I mean... if you really like the guy, why wouldn't you want to go out to some place for dinner even if it is going to be crappy steamed veggies. I guess it depends on how much you like this guy and how much he likes you and how willing you both are to accomodate each other. I'm not sure if your into french fries or " this woman" is into french fries but they always have them at every restaurant and they're usually cheap and filling. and if your at a steak house, there may also be mashed potatoes which can also be pretty filling. | |
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| Hypothetical question
Posted: 2/13/2007 2:24:12 PM | sky, I still don't understand where you're comin' from or what your advise is to this girl.
At first you tell her to speak her mind,(asking a question) then tell her to keep it to herself, that there's no need to speak her mind (about steak)
Which is it?
Heck, I tell what a picky eater I am in my profile. It's a biggy with me. I wouldn't want a man to intend on taking me a pricey restaurant and I ask for the kiddy menu, because I don't like vegetables. They don't understand my preferrence, but they accept it. | |
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| Hypothetical question
Posted: 2/13/2007 2:37:14 PM | 1) It would never ruin my day if a woman didn't want to eat at the same eatery as me. If you're dating men like that, quit dating hyper-sensetive mama's boys. Having someone's day ruined because of something this petty is reserved for children - not mature adults.
2) Most stake houses offer fish and pultry dishes as well - they just specialize in red meats. Come to think of it, every good steak house I've been to had great sandwiches, soups and salads as well.
3) I've never experienced a resturant that is SO good, it's the ONLY thing that could brighten my day. I LOVE to eat a good stake, but there's are dozens - if not hundreds of things that could brighten my day more than a steak house. | |
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| Hypothetical question
Posted: 2/13/2007 2:41:20 PM | | She should just say something. I mean, i love all types of food so it would be easy for me to change plans and go someplace else. My favorite place serves mostly healthy dishes and there's mostly women that eat there anyways. | |
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idioms
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Joined: 11/21/2006
Msg: 21 | |
| Hypothetical question
Posted: 2/13/2007 6:15:55 PM |
sky, I still don't understand where you're comin' from
Oh look, the poster in message 20 didn't like what I had to say to someone on the Texas Forums so she followed me over here to pick apart what I had to say to OP on this one. I am so flattered, I have a cyber stalker! | |
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| Hypothetical question
Posted: 2/13/2007 10:26:20 PM | ~Sunny throws hamburger patty to mean growling bear.
Now...consider yourself flattered. | |
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| Hypothetical question
Posted: 2/13/2007 10:36:08 PM | I would rather that she was honest an told me that she would not enjoy that restuarant and why.
There have been times when i have taken a woman out to what i think is the best restuarant ever at the time, i discuss the menu selections etc, and allow them to have a choice on that retuarant or another they may like (knowing i am happy to try anything and eat anywhere) however to be nice (as in your example) they come to the retuarant i selected and then decide to be honest and tell me the menu is not to their liking, or even worse sit there and eat a quarter of a plate and leave the rest (thats offensive as i payed on those occasions and felt that i wasted my money) and due to that 1 event have seen the friendship turn sour from their end.
so yeah i would expect, accept and respect honesty.. i would rather wine and dine (or thickshake and eat) at a mcdonalds restuarant if that was what she really wanted in order for us to enjoy each others company and the atmsphere, rather than go somewhere nice that either one of us did not feel comfortable at. | |
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| Hypothetical question
Posted: 2/13/2007 10:37:25 PM | Here, I'll give the answer for you. "Sure I'll go with you! I don't eat red meat, and I'm not sure if the menu would have much that I would eat, but I'm still willing to go out with you."
It's never the venue, but the people. | |
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| Hypothetical question
Posted: 2/13/2007 10:43:38 PM | OP
If someone has an aversion to eating meat, then yes, they should say something about not wanting to go to a steak house.
I'd have more respect for them for being honest, and would put off the steak place to a time when I wasn't taking her out. Since I don't follow the vegetarian diet I would have to ask if she knew a place that served food we both could enjoy (as in they'd have meat for me as well as her vegetarian selections.)
It wouldn't ruin my day. But prospects of the relationship going very far would be poor simply because most vegetarians I know are constantly trying to convert others to not eat meat.
I've been eating meat for over 40 years... I don't plan to stop.
If man was not meant to eat meat, our teeth would be designed differently and cows, deer, rabbit, chicken, sheep... would not taste good. Human teeth are designed for both shredding meat and for grinding vegetable matter. Its the way we were designed to work. And its hard to beat the taste of a properly cooked slice of meat. | |
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