| Should i be friends with my ex girlfriend who i love?
Posted: 2/13/2007 11:18:51 AM | | Ok i hope everybody can help me i have a big situation on my hands right now and i need all the help i can get me and my girlfriend broke up over some nonsense about 2 weeks ago and she still hasn't come back to me when she always did 2 times.. now my situation is i love this girl with all my heart and don't want to move on i don't want to think about it i don't want to hear that i have to move on i do love this girl with all i have and now that im not with her is making me a wreck now it gets more interesting is when she decides she wants to be friends with me when i said i can't be friends with her bcuz it hurts way to much.. now the situation is.. is that she's trying to decide over which guy to be with because she has her ex b/f whom was her first love in the back of her head now and i was her second love but with a longer relationship and we broke up over some stupid reason now i think i have some sort of competition going on if i really want to get her back what do you people think i should do i love this girl with all my heart and i don't want to see her go back with her ex should i be friends? or should i just keep talking to her about how much she is throwing away im so confused ppl i am hurting badly i need help PLZ HELP!! | |
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| Should i be friends with my ex girlfriend who i love?
Posted: 2/13/2007 11:42:53 AM | | the only way that you will be able to stay in contact with her is if you and her had kids together. if not, then you need to move on and end all contact in order to be able to find happiness. you wouldnt have to end contact if you could reduce that love to just being friends. | |
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| Should i be friends with my ex girlfriend who i love?
Posted: 2/13/2007 11:44:12 AM | | what should i do then to get her back i mean it's so hard to not spend time with her when im alone all i do is think about her and all the good times me and her had shutting out all the bad times we had i have already gone over pro's and cons with her b4 and it worked really well but i don't know why she got this sudden change of heart i don't know how to go through with not being her friend when she said it's a way to prove that i love her and to show her that i do care and actually gives me more of a chance to be with her but i heard that i shouldn't be friends regardless so im just completely comfused about this bcuz she's trying to chose who she doesn't want to hurt either one of us (her ex b/f and me) so she's being friends and taking time to decide who she does want to be with how do i make myself shine out alot brighter then her other ex b/f what do i do to make her realize that she wants to be with me? | |
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| Should i be friends with my ex girlfriend who i love?
Posted: 2/13/2007 11:55:10 AM | You love her - you broke up twice before - she came back -
okay first - I AM WARNING YOU HERE - I AM BRUTALLY HONEST
AND IF YOU CANT TAKE IT - DONT READ ANY MORE -
Listen - what are you - testing her? - you break up and everytime
you do this you think she will just sail back to you - how much do
you think she can actually take from you? - You display bad behavior
towards her - maybe she is sick and tired of this little game you play -
Now - you are hurting - yeah you are going too - how about this -
if she DOES come back to you - how about being a better boyfriend to
her so she does not have the EX in the back of her mind - How about
stop fighting over stupid shit and see now what she really means to you-
how about being her friend and trying to win her heart back - And start
from the BEGINNING do not live in the past - meaning what you had with her
is not relevant now if you want to win her back - make new memories with
her - dont bring up the past - that is gone - now - hows that?
Give her space here too - to decide and then use the above.
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| Should i be friends with my ex girlfriend who i love?
Posted: 2/13/2007 12:02:00 PM | Back off , give her space and time to decide if she misses you or not.
" If you love someone, let them go. If they come back to you they're yours, if not, they never were. "
" Absence makes the heart grow fonder. "
Get your mind off of her any way you can in the meantime. | |
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| Should i be friends with my ex girlfriend who i love?
Posted: 2/13/2007 12:31:42 PM | | I think you can be mates with someone you used to be with and love. I belive that you can have a truley better freindship. I am best mates with my ex, at first it was hard and i was still in love with him, but now...im glad i did, becuase if i never i would always regret it! | |
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| Should i be friends with my ex girlfriend who i love?
Posted: 2/13/2007 1:28:34 PM | If she came back but broke up with you AGAIN then she didn't really come back to you.
Wouldn't you rather find someone who likes you so much that she doesn't have to try to decide between you and someone else ?
This situation you're in now sounds like a whole lotta heartbreak just waiting to happen.
IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY, NOR SHOULD IT.
Move on. | |
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| Should i be friends with my ex girlfriend who i love?
Posted: 2/13/2007 2:56:28 PM | read your profile .. noted the date you joined this DATING SITE (2 weeks ago) .. hmmm.. interesting correlation to the date you claim your heart was devastated! and the profile you submitted during your period of emotional devastation says you're pretty much looking for someone who wants to have fun ..i suppose watching while you drink til you pass out .. tsk tsk tsk ..
my advice is not to you but your EX (if there is one!) .. RUN .. RUN LIKE THE WIND!!!
it may not be my place, but You put it out there, so for you the original poster: AA meets daily in most cities .. in some it meets several times.
All the best and please stop fishin 'til you're ready! | |
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| Should i be friends with my ex girlfriend who i love?
Posted: 2/13/2007 3:04:46 PM | Hi,
This is just my humble opinion, but, here it is:
First off, I have to disagree with Jarbarian. I believe you can be friends with an ex you still love. I am friends with the only man I have ever truly loved, so far in my lifetime anyway. We were terrible as a couple. We are both good people. I have found that being his friend is a lot easier than being his significant other.
I also think, as long as you have broken up already before, you need to move on. Even if you love this woman. There is now a history and a precedent of leaving and coming back. Not good. The ex and I broke up 5 times. The last time, I knew, no matter what, I could never go back. Nothing was going to change. I would end up leaving again.
Like I said, just my humble opinion. Life experience. I have been single now for well over a year and you know what? It really isn't that bad to live alone, be alone and enjoy your own company. I would like a life partner, some day. I am just not going to settle for just anyone. I want my next relationship to be the last so I am being picky and want to be sure this time around.
Good luck to you and look deep in your heart and you already have the answers. | |
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| Should i be friends with my ex girlfriend who i love?
Posted: 2/13/2007 3:08:02 PM | | thanks alot guys for helping me i guess i am out for a rebound on this site but i really don't care about the fishing pretty much the only reason i came here for was about the forums they interested me the most regardless of what my profile says yea i want to have someone who knows how to have fun and how to treat a man it may seem like a rebound to you guys but usually when i do breakup from serious relationships i have to find the other girl to make me happy again that's the only way i can't take the healing process so i guess i am vulnerable in this fishin case but i mean i do love this girl with all my heart and im just trying to get a nice piece of advice from all you nice and wise ppl on this site i thank you all very much all the advice is appreciated keep posting ppl thanks again | |
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| Should i be friends with my ex girlfriend who i love?
Posted: 2/13/2007 3:11:40 PM | First off, I have to disagree with Jarbarian. I believe you can be friends with an ex you still love. I am friends with the only man I have ever truly loved, so far in my lifetime anyway. We were terrible as a couple. We are both good people. I have found that being his friend is a lot easier than being his significant other.
The difference is you know you are not good as a couple. Most people who stay friends with an ex do so in the hopes their ex will change their mind and take them back. This most often leads to healing taking far much longer than it should. It may have worked for you only in the instance that you know deep in your heart your ex is not right for you. You love him, but I doubt it's still romatically.
If you still have romantic feelings for your ex and want to remain friends, might I suggest beating your head up against the wall until you bleed? It will be less painful and much shorter than remaining friends with an ex you are in love with.
How on earth could you love someone else, truly love them, when you're buddies with someone else you are deeply in love with (and have romantic feelings for?).
Answer: You can not.
Like I said, just my humble opinion. Life experience. I have been single now for well over a year and you know what? It really isn't that bad to live alone, be alone and enjoy your own company. I would like a life partner, some day. I am just not going to settle for just anyone. I want my next relationship to be the last so I am being picky and want to be sure this time around.
How long has it been since you've broken up with the only true man you ever loved?
How many serious relationships have you had since?
What I am getting at here is if you are still buddies with this man and have NOT been able to have a successful relationship with someone else, then you aren't truly over him and remaining friends with him is interfering in your ability to have a successful relationship.
And last but not least, what is having an ex as a friend going to give you that you could not find from another friend? | |
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| Should i be friends with my ex girlfriend who i love?
Posted: 2/13/2007 3:15:13 PM | i have to find the other girl to make me happy again that's the only way i can't take the healing process
Wrong. That is 'co-dependent' behavior. If you "need" someone to make you happy then you aren't healthy enough to have a good relationship.
Stop and ask yourself WHY you need someone in your life. Contrary to popular belief you don't need someone to complete your life, it's just nice to have someone to COMPLIMENT your life.
Needing someone is bad. Very bad. It means you are needy, insecure and don't really have a life. Instead of focusing on finding someone, learn to rebuild your confidence and self esteem. Fill up your free time with hobbies and ambitions. Get your career in shape, work out, hang out with friends and learn to make yourself happy alone.
Because if you can't make yourself happy alone you will not find happiness in a relationship and you will not make your S/O happy either.
Trust me on that one. | |
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| Should i be friends with my ex girlfriend who i love?
Posted: 2/13/2007 3:28:18 PM | | wow jarbarian you are wise.. yea i should be able to make myself happy i love doing what i do i am a hip hop artist a hobby that i barely did when i was with my girlfriend but now i do it like crazy and am happy for that again but also remembering her being there with me while i was making this music the odd time just kills me inside like i really can't do nothing that makes me happy bcuz everything i did was always with my girlfriend the only person that made me truly happy everywhere i went she was there and i was happy with her company of always wanting to be with me and do things together i know that a good relationship involves space but she offered to tag along with what i did so i can't really take that out on nobody i wasn't mad about that i was glad to be with her but as for me being her friend i think she needs someone to prove to her that they love and and can treat her the way she diserves to me treated see i didn't do that but on my last chance i was doing so.. but then she broke it off now she's stuck in the situation where she choses me or her ex b/f now her ex bf was able to be friends with her where as im not able to be friends with her that's why im saying i should try my hardest to be her friend so i can look soo much stronger and mature and readier then her ex | |
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| Should i be friends with my ex girlfriend who i love?
Posted: 2/13/2007 3:45:16 PM | Dude, first of all, you need to change your ID. You clearly have no CLUE about syntax. Trying to figure out what you're saying is tough enough, let alone trying to sympathize with you.
Fact of the matter is, more often than not when a "woman" offers to "just be friends" it's her way of saying get the hell out of here, but as nicely as she can. Give it up. If you "settle" for just being friends, you'll ultimately either resent it, or go slowly out of your mind in jealousy or suffering from unrequited love. Cut loose. If SHE decides at some point that she messed up by leaving you (by herself and for her own reasons) and she comes back to you, THEN is the time to be good to her AND be her friend. In the mean time, deal with yourself. | |
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| Should i be friends with my ex girlfriend who i love?
Posted: 2/14/2007 12:04:19 AM | | I know you dont want ppl to say to move on but the reality is that she wants to be with someone else and said she only wanted to friends with you. Do you really want to be with someone you have to compete for? You answered you own question. She came back twice now she isnt and wants someone else. Its clear that right now you cant be friends with her because you love her. If you seem too neddy there is no way she would want you back. Just my opinion. | |
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| Should i be friends with my ex girlfriend who i love?
Posted: 2/14/2007 12:22:08 AM | I don't know you from Adam, but my first clue was you broke up 2 times, well, maybe, just maybe you treated her better when ya had her.... Lesonned learned. You should believe in destiny and that perhaps your not meant to be and the one is waiting.....for you. Love is... when it is reciprocated. | |
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| Should i be friends with my ex girlfriend who i love?
Posted: 2/14/2007 4:11:20 AM | Hi! I still do and loved so very much my x-husband. I tried to remain friends with him, but my heart got in the way and he was not that into me. He had another girlfriend and I basically was "the other woman" so I cut the tie in final and walked away. That was the hardest thing I ever did....but three weeks later....it was the best. When you have an arm that is infected with gangrene, you cannot saw it off in stages. Cut it quickly off, bandage it up, and the healing will take place and be done sooner than you think! Don't short change your abilities. You will be a much more even person. Don't lower yourself to chase after her. Let her go. You will be ok. I made it. That is a god blessed miracle.....one I am tryng to be thankful for!
Take care. | |
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| Should i be friends with my ex girlfriend who i love?
Posted: 2/14/2007 9:59:28 AM | | I think that if you still have strong love for her then you've gotta be there in case she decides that you were the right one for her after all. You only get this one life and you have to live it the way you want to live it. She said she wants you to prove your love by being friends? Sounds like a confused girl. We are all human, maybe she doesn't know what she wants... if you're still available to her when her other relationship takes a turn for the bad, and you haven't been bothering her or being negative, then she may decide that she was crazy for ever leaving you. This might take a long time, by the time it happens you might not even be interested anymore because you met someone else... I'm sure it seems unlikely when you feel broken-hearted, but anything is possible. Make sure that your contact with her is very limited so she has a chance to miss you, make sure that there is nothing negative about that contact whatsoever (NOTHING NEGATIVE, no anger, jealousy, or depressed stuff), and be happy, active, and interesting so that there's always something to attract her. And hey, if she's thinking about dating someone else, you can date someone else too... don't let a good opportunity pass you by, you're not doing anything wrong by having a profile up. This isn't the end of the world man, you've got years and years to try to get her back if you really, truely love her... can she resist you forever? Some people in this forum don't think this way, they say you should cut off all contact... that is what their experiences have taught them, and this post is what my experience has taught me... if you try to deny what you're feeling, it can lead to regret, and I don't think anyone should have any regrets. | |
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