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| Have you been manipulated by a passive-aggressive fishy?
Posted: 2/14/2007 10:20:10 AM | Just wondering how many of you have identified passive-aggressiveness in a potential new mate? And if so, how did it affect you and what did you do about it? Does anything here sound familiar?
1. There’s a certain way they say “Yes” that makes you crazy. Because you know they don’t mean “yes”… but how can you argue with somebody who says “yes” to you?
2. Your fishy seems to passively comply with the desires and needs of others, but actually passively resists them, in the process becoming increasingly hostile and angry.
3. Your fishy resents responsibility and shows it through their behaviors, rather than by openly expressing their feelings. Procrastination, inefficiency, and forgetfulness are commonly used to avoid doing what they need to do or have been told by others to do.
4. Your fishy may appear to comply with another's wishes and may even demonstrate enthusiasm for them. However, the requested action is either performed too late to be helpful, performed in a way that is useless, or is otherwise sabotaged to express anger that cannot be expressed verbally.
Any of you caught a fishy like this? If so, what did you do? I threw mine back and re-baited my hook ... keep on fishing!!  | |
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| Have you been manipulated by a passive-aggressive fishy?
Posted: 2/14/2007 10:28:06 AM | You have described at least one X... especially the procrastination part of it...
but hey, communication is key and when someone choses to not communicate I have 2 choices:
Accept it... and pull out my hair...
Not accept it which in the short run means that I am not dating and in the long run means that I am dating someone better suited for me...
So yeah, kept on fishing till I landed the big one (oops how about the good one... do not need to get killed in Vday cause I called her a big fish!!! ) | |
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| Have you been manipulated by a passive-aggressive fishy?
Posted: 2/14/2007 11:31:14 AM | There are certain behaviors that help identify passive-aggressive behavior:
• Ambiguity
• Avoiding responsibility by claiming forgetfulness
• Blaming others
• Chronic lateness and forgetfulness
• Complaining
• Does not express hostility or anger openly
• Fear of competition
• Fear of dependency
• Fear of intimacy
• Fears authority
• Fosters chaos
• Intentional inefficiency
• Making excuses and lying
• Obstructionism
• Procrastination
• Resentment
• Resists suggestions from others
• Sarcasm
• Sullenness
I think it’s perfectly reasonable to hope your fishy is an open and honest individual. * Notice the * key word I used here is ‘hope’, not ‘expect’. | |
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| Have you been manipulated by a passive-aggressive fishy?
Posted: 2/14/2007 12:34:10 PM | The answer is YES but that fishy wasn't from here then. Somewhere else tho. Usually it takes awhile to figure it out. Perhaps the next time I will be an educated observer, hopefully. Not a pleasant experience. But having said all that and upon re reading the list above I do have a few of the mentionned traits. Please say that you have to have all of them, pretty please.
Interesting thread. | |
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| Have you been manipulated by a passive-aggressive fishy?
Posted: 2/14/2007 5:04:50 PM | | thats quite a list glad i dont fit it hahaha , if you went by that list when you threw yours back i feel sorry for you .; guess you should take the time to learn what an individual is like before passing judgment , there seems to be alot of that , so easy for one to sit and pass judgment without knowing , its funny what we learn when we take the ....TIME ...to understand another, .... | |
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| Have you been manipulated by a passive-aggressive fishy?
Posted: 2/14/2007 6:23:49 PM | would you please ....there is only one thing on your list that fits and not expressing anger . the reason being .....i know how i am and its not pretty, suppressing anger is equally bad but can be used constructively , love is a funny thing , i know , i have very deep sincere feelings for a woman , are we talking no she shut me down , do i love this woman with all my heart and soul , yes ....i would give my life for her without hessitation, , in other words there is nothing i would not do for her , and have.was i overwhelming ....more than likely , will i ever see her again ....i can only hope , its her call .
ambiguity - by letting her make the decisions
forgoing- responsiblity-falls in with procrastination /or lack of funds which is being over come quite resonably as time progresses
blaming others - never happened
chronic lateness , forgetfulness -not hardly
complaining -nope
hostility/ anger - not a good idea - wait and discuss at the proper moment
competition - welcome it
dependency-i was very dependent upon her she was my world
intimacy- couldnt get enough /just holding her as we slept was heaven, her kisses sent chills up an down myspine,her soft touch set my mind on fire
authority- fear it no , question it yes
chaos - never , even balance
obstructionism - thats too funny , never stopped anyone from doing anything ....hahaha
procrastination- well ok ,paying attention to the woman of my dreams is more important than anything in the world , so ok .....guilty
inefficient- nope , always got job done , may have been done differently than another would have done but end result was the same
excusses and lying - excusses were real and did not lie
resentment- guess again , at this time the only resentment i harbor is the fact , i tried to give my all so qwickly and didnt allow her the time to see that i wanted her so badly, if i had only listened to her words , really listened, i can honestly say for the first time i was scared
sh--less , so afraid i would loose her that i drove her away
suggestions - openly welcomed
sarrcasm- not intentionally if at all
sullenness-deep in thought ....day dreamming
if the opportunity were to arrise i would welcome the chance to discuss with this individual, why she felt or still feels this behavior was present when all i did was show love and concern for her being, was i timid around her of course .... gentle and understanding . just wanted to make her world everything i could , guess i was wrong by letting her call the shots , then again she was and is the fisrt woman to come into my life that made me feel weak in the knees .....unbelievable been a prick all my life and proud of it. | |
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| Have you been manipulated by a passive-aggressive fishy?
Posted: 2/17/2007 4:25:11 AM | | Passive-aggressiveness and also abusing NEVER acknowledge their problems. It's all the other's fault. In actuality I had never heard (or I just never remembered) about P-A until about 4 or 5 years ago. I came to it innocently and once explained to me by a professional then 'it' all became clear. But you know what? Much easier to keep things simple and recognize, and try to figure out how it affects you yourself and make your decisions from there. That same passive-aggressive person might be entirely different with someone else. Some people will be P-A all of the time, some of the time, or intermittently. | |
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| Have you been manipulated by a passive-aggressive fishy?
Posted: 2/17/2007 8:27:19 AM | I can't live with or tolerate a passive/aggressive personality.
If you want to feel angry all the time, pulled in every direction, surrounded by chaos and so frustrated with life you want to scream, then go out with a PA.
I do not understand this mentality. I don't get why they would want to create that type of atmosphere or environment and I just see them as the most unloving people there is not to mention they completely lack self-honesty and integrity.
 Get some therapy...too painful to be in a relationship with these types.
By the way I'm referring to those who literally have PA condition as a personality disorder. Not those who sometimes exhibit symptoms of it because I thing being passive or aggressive from time to time can happen to anyone depending on where they are at in life.
It's more about personality to me. | |
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| Have you been manipulated by a passive-aggressive fishy?
Posted: 2/17/2007 8:35:24 AM | I don't like expectations, they only create dissapointments.
I go in with my eyes open and play it by ear. If something doesn't fit right I try to find out if it is me first or them.
If someone is too relaxed or too pushy I don't go any further with them, usually this means I say in chat mode online.
Confrontation rarely does anything but create more problems. I just let people fade away over time so it is more like mutual agreement. | |
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| Have you been manipulated by a passive-aggressive fishy?
Posted: 2/17/2007 11:27:09 AM | You are so very correct in differentiating between THE DIAGNOSED DISORDER and the personality traits that may or may not exist all the time. BIG difference. To live life is a combination some of the times between being passive and being agressive. Of course often other words are used.
GREAT point! Now I know I'm ok, thanks for the reminder!  | |
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| Have you been manipulated by a passive-aggressive fishy?
Posted: 2/17/2007 12:16:34 PM | live2ridenh (OP),
1. There’s a certain way they say “Yes” that makes you crazy. Because you know they don’t mean “yes”… but how can you argue with somebody who says “yes” to you?
Oh my god, that is a perfect description of one of the worst things. Yep, I've ran into it!
3. Your fishy resents responsibility and shows it through their behaviors, rather than by openly expressing their feelings. Procrastination, inefficiency, and forgetfulness are commonly used to avoid doing what they need to do or have been told by others to do.
Well, I've never been in a situation where I've judged a woman by how she reacts to being "told what to do". I think lack of responsibility, procrastination, inefficiency, supposed forgetfulness -- signs of laziness. Also, that they're not into you if it's centered around things about you.
Sounds a little like one of my ex's. Essentially, they like you but not that much. They want everything to be easy for them, and EVERYTHING'S a pain... they may not express themselves in such a way, but you'll see it due to their actions.
What did I do? Out of morbid curiosity I stuck around to learn more about women. Little did I know that she was posessed by all the stereotypes of the bad women everywhere! ;) lol | |
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| Have you been manipulated by a passive-aggressive fishy?
Posted: 2/17/2007 12:37:38 PM | Hmmm that's easy... RUN! If it sounds like a b.s. excuse it probably is. Being passive-aggressive is because the guy/gal is probably submissive and has no guts to tell it like it is. Believe me, I had learned this the hard way. I kept falling for the b.s. excuses and finally learned the woman just didn't have her head on straight.
I guess the other option makes sense as well. I've been with a woman too that was very selfish and whenever it was "easy" she was around, but had no sense of putting any "work" into a relationship.
Good luck fishing!
Jim | |
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| Have you been manipulated by a passive-aggressive fishy?
Posted: 2/17/2007 1:17:58 PM | its all to comical when some one labels people its at that time i begin looking at the individual ....we can all sit and pass judgment without knowing its even more rediculous when the person passing judgment is exhibiting more of the behavior , ha tooo funny three yrs of psyhcology and living on the streets you learn alot about people and in the long run most are looking for what they consider thier dream person then when found are more often to
scared of commitment and intimacy then the person they have found | |
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| Have you been manipulated by a passive-aggressive fishy?
Posted: 2/17/2007 4:03:00 PM | Hmmm karshovelhead......was it to you that the OP was referring in her original post? Just curious to know.....
its even more rediculous when the person passing judgment is exhibiting more of the behavior
That is usually the way...it is called projection. | |
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| Have you been manipulated by a passive-aggressive fishy?
Posted: 2/18/2007 8:09:58 AM | I have been manipulated by a bully who used passive-aggression to manipulate me, or so I thought at the time. I came to realize over time that his passive-aggression was not really what I perceived it to be, it was actually just him trying to avoid a disagreement or a fight. Without going into a great deal of detail of a personal nature, suffice to say that I sought therapy to "heal" from this situation and came to realize that many of my perceptions of his behaviour were actually clouded by my past experience with men. I also came to accept that men and women interact in relationships differently at times. In essence, I realized that my "interpretations" of his behaviour were as far from the reality as they possibly could have been. Fortunately, since I have to co-parent a child with this man, he and I have been able to do a lot of forgiveness and have a much healthier (not perfect by any stretch but manageable) relationship.
• Ambiguity - can also be a sign of poor communication skills on one or both parties.
• Avoiding responsibility by claiming forgetfulness - perhaps the importance of the forgotten was not communicated to the other person, people can forget, doesn't mean they don't care or are trying to manipulate another.
• Blaming others - often people that do this or see this are also guilty of doing it....one finger pointing outward, 3 pointing back
• Chronic lateness and forgetfulness - some people are wired this way, difference in upbringing, good communication can help to clear this up. I have a best friend who will be late for his own funeral...he is not trying to be disrespectful by being late, it is just the way he is. I've learned to accept it and make allowances, like telling him to be here a half hour before I actually expect to see him. He is also the one man I trust with my life because I know he will always be there if I need him.
• Complaining - we all complain...this does not necessarily mean they are behaving passive aggressively....depends on the circumstances....
• Does not express hostility or anger openly - most "men" won't, only those with anger issues will....most will wait until their anger has subsided to avoid saying/doing something they may later regret. Men that openly express anger and hostility are more likely to become physically abusive.....you want that? Now if the man refuses to discuss the situation once the raw emotions have been dealt with, then I would agree the man has some issues but I'm not sure I would necessarily label them as passive aggressive tendencies....fear of intimacy maybe.
• Fear of competition - aren't we all afraid of competition to an extent, more so if we are in love with someone? Insecurity is difficult to deal with and that work needs to be done by the person, not the couple, but that is my opinion especially if there is no good reason for it to be part of the relationship (no one has been unfaithful).
• Fear of dependency - if one has been independent for a long time, it is difficult to allow themselves to be dependent on someone else. Someone who exhibits the characteristics you noted above doesn't sound too dependent to me......rather quite the opposite actually.
• Fear of intimacy - true intimacy requires a high level of trust which takes a long time to build, especially if one/both have had their heart broken a time or two in their lifetimes.
• Fears authority - no sure what this has to do with passive aggressive behaviour.....except maybe the individual is not law abiding to the extent that you want him to be.
• Fosters chaos - I've actually never known a single man to do this (guess I'm lucky) but I do know quite a few women that thrive on chaos....if it is too comfortable, there MUST be something wrong (been guilty myself of that).
• Intentional inefficiency - are you so sure that inefficiency is intentional? Sounds to me like you are making assumptions based on past experience...not necessarily with the man in question. Or perhaps you expect something to be done one way on your timetable.
• Making excuses and lying - usually a perception thing unless you know for a fact that someone has lied to you.
• Obstructionism - I can only assume you mean "walls"....the older we get, the more likely we have been through the ringer a time or two, it takes longer to get in/let others in because we have built up defenses.
• Procrastination - I procrastinate all the time....doesn't make me passive aggressive because my intention is not to piss off my clients.
• Resentment - if we force someone to do something they don't really want to do through manipulation, the natural consequence is resentment. Not saying this was the case in your situation.
• Resists suggestions from others - are you sure you are not saying...won't do what I want, when I want, how I want? If someone refuses to implement the suggestions of someone else it could simply mean they heard what was said but need time to consider the suggestion before implementation.
• Sarcasm - some people have a sarcastic sense of humour (I know I do) but my intention is never to actually hurt someone else with my comments.
• Sullenness - Men often appear sullen to us women....enough so we will ask "What is wrong?" to which they will usually reply "Nothing", or we will ask "What are you thinking about?" to which they will usually reply "Nothing". From what I have recently learned about most men...they are simple creatures, they do not think the way we women do...when they say nothing...that is what they mean. When we say nothing...there is usually something more that we want men to dig out of us with more questions.....lol Men Mars, Women Venus. | |
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| Have you been manipulated by a passive-aggressive fishy?
Posted: 8/19/2009 6:52:11 PM | chances are his/hers parents made programmed them passive aggressive
A friend of mine broke off a relationship with a women he dated for about 4 yrs and she had her a 9 yr old daughter from a previous relationship, though I am not sure they did not get counseling together. It ended ugly and I am a surprised how it ended since i thought they both had respect for one another. I hope they all need counseling even the little one to get over this. All I know is my friend is getting counseling for 1-3 times a week. But its better for them to move on. This summer he discovered he has a big time case of being Passive-aggressive. At first he thought passive aggressive was just a general behavior that everyone but when he started reading more about it he realized he had all the traits. I guess thats part of why he has been very depressed this winter. as it seems life came down crashing on him hard and he hasn't been himself. He says he working on changing his mindset and everything but admits he don't know how and when he can change all that since he thinks he was raised this way. He has always been one to shy away from voicing his opinions but thought it was just the way he was. But he did say he gets anxiety attacks which explains alot for living in fear.
Here is what i mean from an article I found which talks a bit how does one gets to be passive aggressive from psychology today website
The Problem
If we grew up, however, in a family that couldn't, or wouldn't, attach much value to our basic needs and wants, our natural impulse to assert ourselves became suppressed. If when we talked directly to our parents about our desires, we were derided as selfish, of thinking only of ourselves, we learned that it simply wasn't acceptable to want what we wanted, need what we needed. Similarly, when we repeatedly received the message that we were a burden (or "just another mouth to feed"), we learned that if we voiced our wishes we were endangering a parental bond already experienced as tenuous.
The same is true when we received the message that we were an inconvenience, or too demanding, or didn't deserve whatever it was we were requesting. And if our parents were outright angry with us, yelling at us whenever we straightforwardly expressed our wants, the very thought of continuing to voice them may have filled us with anxiety. Moreover, if we communicated our anger at their denial and their reaction to such assertiveness was scary or punishing, we would have learned to keep our anger strongly bolted inside, afraid to express that which would surely come back to haunt us.
We therefore may have felt required to cultivate a certain attitude of passivity, and acquiesce to whatever lesser role our caretakers chose to assign us. After all, as children we all struggle in one way or another to experience our bond with our parents as secure. Any behavior felt to threaten this bond would need somehow to be eradicated. Of necessity, then, we'd have to renounce many of our basic wants and needs. How could this not be the case when we felt criticized, attacked, maybe even rejected almost every time we asserted ourselves? It would likely have seemed that we had no choice but to give up what we wanted--or maybe even teach ourselves not to want whatever regularly led to our parents' denial or disapproval.
But, of course, fundamental needs and wants--whether for comforting, encouragement, support, or some material item that might at least symbolize our importance to our parents--never really disappear. They simply go into hiding. Fearing the repercussions of making our needs known, we keep them tucked away, secret from those who might be disgruntled by our asserting them. While feeling compelled to censor their expression, however, we may nonetheless feel this deprivation keenly. But at least as frequently, we go from suppressing the expression of these needs to repressing them entirely. Because experiencing these wants and needs can itself get connected in our minds with parental disapproval or rejection, we may well feel obliged to obliterate even the awareness that they exist.
Passivity--or non-expressiveness--is the inevitable result. Tragically, we may forfeit all consciousness of our most basic needs just to avoid the anxiety linked to them. After all, when we're young, asserting anything that might threaten our dependency on our parents would feel, almost literally, as hazardous to our survival. And as children we intuitively grasp our profound inability, independent of our caretakers, to care for ourselves. On our own, we would surely die. So we have no choice, if we are to secure this most vital connection, but to adapt to their preferences--and repress our own.
Yet our needs--however unattended to, and however unaware we may train ourselves to be of them--persist. And somewhere inside us there is anger that our parents do not love us enough to make these needs the priority they can't help but be for us. For nine months in the womb all our basic needs were addressed--automatically. How, then, could we not have entered the world with a certain sense of entitlement? So deep inside us we rage for that which we now feel deprived of. Although we may have repeatedly received the message that we didn't deserve whatever it was we longed for, somewhere inside us we felt we did deserve it.
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Passive-aggressive adults likely grew up in a home where anger wasn't expressed, or where they were severely punished for standing up to their parents. Or, mom and dad may have passed on inconsistent messages about appropriate behavior: One time they praised their daughter for being funny and entertaining in front of guests, but when she hammed it up at the next party, they scolded her, telling her to stop showing off. A child who receives such mixed messages will start hesitating before she acts, says Engel, and will consequently fail to assert herself effectively.
As a young adult, she may begin to feel misunderstood. Worse, she may lose touch with her true desires and come down with a case of chronic indecision, marked by wishy-washy attitudes toward friends and career plans. | |
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| Have you been manipulated by a passive-aggressive fishy?
Posted: 8/20/2009 7:15:57 AM |
I think it’s perfectly reasonable to hope your fishy is an open and honest individual. * Notice the * key word I used here is ‘hope’, not ‘expect’.
I think it's perfectly reasonable to EXPECT a normal human being to have a relationship with who doesn't have serious issues that cause others serious strife....
But THAT's not gonna happen in a society filled with people with Personality Disorders,Commitment phobias,NPD,Passive aggressive traits and mental illness.ETC!
All you have control over is how you REACT to these people.....and LEAVING at the first sign of WORDS NOT MATCHING ACTIONS is IN ORDER or get caught up trying to change them or hold them accountable when that is the LAST thing someone can do.
Dealing with a PA is like trying to NAIL JELLO TO A WALL....not gonna happen.
RUN...don't walk...they NEVER change...but they sure change thier victims! | |
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| Have you been manipulated by a passive-aggressive fishy?
Posted: 8/20/2009 10:17:57 AM |
Passive-aggressive behavior is just bs childish games, I flat will not tolerate or play. Just say NO to passive-aggressiveness.
So right on! I will not tolerate passive-aggressive people as friends so I surely would not tolerate it in someone I date. | |
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| Have you been manipulated by a passive-aggressive fishy?
Posted: 8/20/2009 3:28:38 PM | Oh, the lovely PA's.
NEVER, I repeat NEVER trust anyone who does not openly and honesty express their anger.
Many PA's like to say they are "easy going" and "go with the flow" and rarely do they realize they have a dysfunctional way of dealing with others. It simply doesn't occur to them, for to act the way they do is how they've always acted with and toward others.
So anyone who tells you, "I never get mad" is a likely prospect for this frustratingly, crazy-making behaviour.
I have noticed there are many men I've talked with through here who've been PA's. I don't bother with such types for long and I generally keep them in a place where I never rely on them for anything. Other than that, they are generally easy to get along with but just don't rely on them and you won't have to be a victim to their nonsense. This generally deflates any sense of power and control they derive from their indirect control tactics. It's called passive controlling and unfortunately most people don't recognize what's happening until the damage is done.
I think most people exhibit passive-aggressive tendencies on some level from time to time, but more so out of a frustration with a lack of assertiveness or a sense of revenge without feeling too evil about it. Then you have your outright PA's who are passive-aggressive in the entire approach to life.
My X husband was/is a PA. I do believe he has it as a disorder and had a very hard time to ever express anger. Instead he would sabotage you at every turn and play the innocent card. Or he would say something and then when called on it, he'd outright pretend he never said it. He would actually get a rise (you could see it on his face) out of frustrating me. Needless to say it was a very stressful relationship.
You don't have to worry over a PA when they are getting what they want. It's when things DON'T go their way that you need to worry and best make sure it isn't YOU who is frustrating their plans. Guaranteed payback will be a b*tch with them.
I have a close friend with PA. I don't suspect he realizes he is and I likely won't ever bring it to his attention. But I certainly won't expect anything from him as a result of that tendency. It is one of the most insidious forms of dishonesty I have witnessed yet.
I'd rather someone direct who can say "f*ck you" to my face than a nice, syrupy PA any day of the week. | |
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| Have you been manipulated by a passive-aggressive fishy?
Posted: 9/4/2009 8:28:46 PM | me too I rather deal with someone who express exactly on how they feel on the spot its the only honest way. My aunts husband who l lived with was so passive agressive is impossible to get out what he was angry then you get to know when he is mad when he don't speak forever to you and then latter on when its forgotten he gets all mad at you. It was really screwed up. My aunt and him never accepted my opinion or feelings I had. oh well screw them its the past and they are not my problem anymore life goes on.
As I was saying earlier my friend had a crisis this year and latter realized he was very passive aggressive and he still finds himself letting the past get to him at times. Anyway here is some more info I have gathered.
___________________
What is passive aggressive behavior? On first glance, a passive aggressive individual doesn't seem angry or malicious. They're quite friendly, unassuming and benevolent.
However, after dealing with this style of behavior, you often feel frustrated, offended, guilty or angry. While not your intention, you may think you did something wrong, but aren't quite sure what it was.
Many relationships, and most counselors, have encountered this inconsistent behavioral pattern. It's very confusing and often thought of as "crazy-making" because passive aggressive behavior expresses negative feelings, resentment, and anger; and it does so in an unassertive passive way1.
Surprisingly, the passive aggressive person isn't aware of this. In their eyes, all they want to do is give of themselves. Problem is, this comes with a price - an expectation that you'll return the favor, and moodiness if you don't.
If you're someone who deals with passive aggressive behavior, or you're someone who suspects, or has been told, your behavior fits the description, the following information may help. You'll gain valuable insight that can lead to more positive interactions.
What leads to passive-aggressive behavior?
It is thought that this pattern is learned in childhood. It is most likely a response to parents who exercised complete control and did not let their child express themselves. To cope, a child will adopt a passive-aggressive behavior pattern2.
If, for example, a child openly disagrees with their parent(s) and they are punished for doing so; the child would learn to substitute passive resistance for active resistance. Given a consistent pattern of punishment for assertion, and an individual will become highly adept at passively rebelling.
In a broad sense, passive aggressive behavior is a form of codependence. In their interpersonal relationships, the individual will attempt to manipulate themselves into a position of dependence. This is done with the codependent method of rescue. (see the Karpman Drama Triangle.)
Relationships are seen as quid pro quo (something for something). This is because a passive aggressive person believes that asking for their needs to be met is not safe. Their self concept supposes that their requests won't be met; so, they have to manipulate others to achieve their needs.
They also have a very difficult time saying no to other's requests. While they view anyone they consider to be in a position of power or authority with respect, they also project their resentments, frustrations and anger onto these very same people. Since their self concept includes poor self esteem, almost everyone else is a person of power or authority.
A individual operating in this fashion is often prone to procrastination. They will oppose requests for acceptable performance, and find excuses for poor outcomes (This is done as "payback".). They will find fault with those on whom they depend.
A passive aggressive person is often prone to make sarcastic comments, offer condescending opinions, and blame others for their own shortcomings.
When a young person grows up with caregivers that were highly dogmatic and controlling, growing close at an emotional level is virtually impossible; and, if self expression was punished or discouraged, the self concept becomes distorted. In adulthood, validation from others is wanted, and feared all at the same time.
As such, another underlying goal achieved by this paradoxical behavior is to avoid conflict and emotional intimacy. Allowing oneself to make mistakes is threatening, and confrontation is avoided at all costs.
With effort, positive change in this format of interpersonal interaction can be obtained. The individual must "own" the behavior, and engage in counseling or therapeutic activity. Here are some suggestions and direction for individuals who wish to heal their passive aggressive behavior.
If you are someone that encounters the behavior in work or personal relationships, you will find information on the following page to help cope with passive-aggressive behavior. | |
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| Have you been manipulated by a passive-aggressive fishy?
Posted: 9/4/2009 8:39:39 PM | | Yeah i totally hear you man, I was talking to this fish and she exhibited some crazy online behavior so i looked up "Passive Agressive" on wikipedia and matched her description with wikipedia's description. That's why i blocked her AND her mom. | |
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