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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Could you fall for your booty call girl?      Home login  
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 caz78
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 1
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Could you fall for your booty call girl?Page 1 of 1    
Could you develop romantic feelings for a girl you casually sleep with? Or does a lack of the pursuit for sex kill the desire to pursue for anything more? As a girl, I am finding that I have begun to develop romantic feelings for the guy I've been casually sleeping with for months now. For me it only makes sense that over time as we get to know eachother a bit and the sex gets better that we would begin to develop feelings. But the guy I am with is just as detatched as the first time we hooked up. Is it a normal guy thing, or does this guy have a cold heart?
 lonleyboy
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 2
Could you fall for your booty call girl?
Posted: 2/14/2007 9:37:30 PM
Without knowing the guy, it would be hard to say. But, if he is happy with the casual relationship, and is getting everything he wants, so to speak, then he may not see any reason to want more from your relationship.
Is this normal?? Perhaps for some it is. But I think that if a guy IS looking for more in a relationship, then casual sex and getting to know oneanother through it, may soften his resistance.
 Hot Snowman
Joined: 11/3/2006
Msg: 3
Could you fall for your booty call girl?
Posted: 2/14/2007 9:46:26 PM
I think you have a better chance of something developing then if you two were "just friends" or, worse, viewing each other as brother and sister. For you, there is no question about sexual attraction and activity. You're having it right now. The question is developing it more than that. But possibly that is already happening. Do you two ONLY have sex? Or do you also hang out together? Hit the bars? Play tennis? If so, then there is already probably more to your relationship.

What I would advise against is pushing it hard for a more meaningful relationship. Let it grow naturally. Ask to do more non-sexual things together. If he does them with you, you're developing a more in-depth relationship with him. Eventually, you two are in a full relationship and happy as can be. Good luck!
 Ryan832
Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 4
Could you fall for your booty call girl?
Posted: 2/14/2007 9:48:56 PM
It is possible that I would fall for my booty call girl, but it is unlikely. Most guys will not fall for a booty call. Guys can easily be detached when just sex is involved. If you actually go out and have "dates", then things might change. If you start talking about feelings and your life, things might change. There are 2 possibilities of change though, he might want to date you, or he might find another booty call.
 Sadness
Joined: 1/22/2007
Msg: 5
Could you fall for your booty call girl?
Posted: 2/14/2007 10:09:18 PM
I think it really depends on who you ask. Not all guys will react the same way. There are a lot of guys that can have casual sex with no emotional attachment. Still others can develope a strong emotional attachment after just one night. Personally I find it impossible to have intimacy with someone without feeling some kind of emotional attachment. There is something about those intimate moments that makes me become emotionally attached in some way. But then again, I'm one of those depressed, heartbroken emotional basket cases who happens to suffer from chronic loneliness. Most guys are not as pathetic and weak as I am. If you are starting to fall for this guy but he is not feeling the same way then you should stop seeing him immediatly or you will get your heart broken. Casual sex is fine but don't let yourself get hurt over someone who thinks of you as nothing more than a "booty call". It's not worth it.
 Pyke
Joined: 1/8/2005
Msg: 6
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Could you fall for your booty call girl?
Posted: 2/15/2007 1:54:44 AM
Yes, I could.

Yes, many guys could.

However, not all guys will, as we tend to be able to seperate "sex" and "love" into seperate headings, or at least, that's what we tell ourselves. A guy who already is getting the former may not bother to pursue a relationship to secure the latter....

Why? Love releases dopamine into your brain. The ventral tegmental (producer of dopamine) creates it, floods the brain with dopamine when you fall in love. The caudate area (responsible for cravings) then sends signals for more dopamine, resulting in intense elation. Cocaine, produces a similar effect (albeit, a lot more harmfully).

There's a catch though. Guess what happens when your brain is flooded in dopamine? Testosterone is created, which is responsible for the sex drive in both men and women, resulting in you feeling everything about the other person is sexy. This is god news for you.

Bad news is this, brains that are in love result in an increased sex drive, but an increased sex drive does not mean falling in love. In fact, recent studies suggest they're different regions entirely, with the erotic pictures activating entirely different parts of the brain. You might have fallen in love, he might not have.

There's an interesting article in the news right now:
http://www.cnn.com/2007/HEALTH/02/14/love.science/index.html

Hope it helps.

-Matt
 ubkobalt
Joined: 5/7/2006
Msg: 7
Could you fall for your booty call girl?
Posted: 2/15/2007 1:56:20 AM
Been there, done that, moved her in. Then she left 3 months later.

But, emotion and sex are quite seperate. And can remain seperate.
 SlyKnight
Joined: 1/21/2007
Msg: 8
Could you fall for your booty call girl?
Posted: 2/15/2007 5:14:33 AM
'Could' is a yes. 'Likely to' isn't so positive.

Generally, a guy knows from the first time he sleeps with a girl whether he's likely to be looking for anything more than that from her. If he definitely wasn't, you're pretty much screwed and no amount of sleeping with him, spending time together, or expressing your feelings will change that. If he was open to it but just not looking for it,then *maybe* you're in luck.

It can happen. You should really be able to tell from the way he treats you what he's after. If he's developed feelings for you, he'll have trouble hiding them completely - as a woman, chances are you re much better at picking up on his body language etc than he is on yours.
 JWA
Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 9
Could you fall for your booty call girl?
Posted: 2/15/2007 5:27:22 AM
I wonder how many women go into one of these FWB things or anything in the casual sex areas think or hope it'll eventually turn into "something more"??

As the guys here are already saying in general sex is just sex to us especially when it begins as something casual. You'll hear over and over "why buy the milk when it's free already??" OP, your thoughts about why it should or makes sense to turn into something more is almost completely a female thing. You might think since things "improve" with your sex that means he's more into you or has developed the same feelings you believe you have---and he's not. If you read these forums even semi-regularly you'll see many posts about this very thing----how a FWB turns bad when feelings arise.

This guy doesn't have a cold heart---he's just acting the same way now as when he started with you---unattached and uncommitted supposedly with feelings only for the sex. You as a person nor your feelings are of interest to him---he's just there for the free booty.

If you're looking for more do that instead of looking for it in all the wrong places!!
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