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 bikeman658
Joined: 2/7/2007
Msg: 1
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I need help - Running out of things to talk aboutPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I've got a good thing going :) and I don't want to lose it.

I've been talking with this girl for well over 4 weeks now, talked on the phone a bunch.

But I keep running out of things to talk about? I've done all the small talk stuff that I can think of without going into "Grey" Areas


I don't want to sound like a complete moron, but I honestly don't know what to do next??

I haven't had go this good for this long ( a whole other story)


 MDNinja
Joined: 1/9/2005
Msg: 2
I need help - Running out of things to talk about
Posted: 2/15/2007 1:46:19 PM
Why don't you try meeting her and taking things to the next level? 4 weeks is pushing it.
 talista
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 3
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I need help - Running out of things to talk about
Posted: 2/15/2007 1:47:27 PM
oooh good idea...you haven't met yet?

She might not be what you think. I vote Meet
 ~Brook~
Joined: 10/23/2006
Msg: 4
I need help - Running out of things to talk about
Posted: 2/15/2007 1:47:27 PM
4 weeks of talking seems long
when your ready you should make plans to meet
 AbstractAstra
Joined: 1/31/2007
Msg: 5
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I need help - Running out of things to talk about
Posted: 2/15/2007 1:49:48 PM
Well things must change within those four weeks. What have you done, what have you watched, bought anything, gone anywhere? Once you've talked about all the basics of your life you need to talk about current stuff too, or you will run out of things to say. It's like when you meet someone you have one thing in common with - eg. a class you're both taking - and that's what you talk about. The class ends and you have nothing much else to say, except talking about the past. Keep current and you'll never run out of topics.

Also, it depends on what you think the grey areas are. Unless you just want to skim the surface of your life you will have to go a bit deeper at some point. Maybe if you just edge into it, instead of telling her your deepest darkest secrets. Who initiates the conversation - is it always you or does she bring things up as well?
 judythecuety
Joined: 2/2/2006
Msg: 6
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I need help - Running out of things to talk about
Posted: 2/15/2007 1:51:57 PM
Bike man..beware those who can't spare you an hour to meet ..

There's no "story" that covers it IMHO.. and it dsn't bode well.
 tree.hugger.chick
Joined: 7/19/2006
Msg: 7
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I need help - Running out of things to talk about
Posted: 2/15/2007 1:54:03 PM
I would think that after talking to someone for four weeks, you could be more comfortable talking about certain things that would be too personal earlier, or your gray areas. Or instead of talking about yourselves, talk about current events, or maybe a book you read last week, a movie you'd like to go see (you could also tell her you'd like some company when you go see it). In any case, I agree that it might be time to meet.
 sharon[D]
Joined: 2/12/2007
Msg: 8
I need help - Running out of things to talk about
Posted: 2/15/2007 1:58:40 PM
i'm thinking that if you are running out of things to talk about you probably aren't in the right relationship...

"The Boss" and i spent everyday for 3 months talking for a minimum of 7 hours a day. We never ran out of things to talk about.

You also have to remember that just being together but being quiet is perfectly acceptable as well.
 bikeman658
Joined: 2/7/2007
Msg: 9
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I need help - Running out of things to talk about
Posted: 2/15/2007 2:23:11 PM
Let me fill in some questions.


No, we have not met yet in Real Life. I was actually planning on doing that this Saturday but it turns out She is going to Aruba for 8 days on the same day. (lucky!)

So I will plan it for when she comes back, when I asked her (before I knew about her trip) she didn't shoot it down right away. So thats a good thing!


Thank you for the Help. I just don't want to screw it up for myself
 Dana Scully
Joined: 12/2/2006
Msg: 10
I need help - Running out of things to talk about
Posted: 2/15/2007 2:46:16 PM

i'm thinking that if you are running out of things to talk about you probably aren't in the right relationship...

"The Boss" and i spent everyday for 3 months talking for a minimum of 7 hours a day. We never ran out of things to talk about.


Yup! Have to agree. When it's the right person you could talk for days on end and still want more.


You also have to remember that just being together but being quiet is perfectly acceptable as well.


Seconded. The comfortable silence. It's beautiful when you find it. Just being in their presence brings you contentment.

That said, I wish you luck. I hope it is just nerves that is causing the conversation to dry up.

Her holiday in Aruba will be a plentiful source. I am sure she will have much to tell you. Try being a good listener. She will appreciate your interest.

 WakeDan
Joined: 8/16/2006
Msg: 11
I need help - Running out of things to talk about
Posted: 2/15/2007 2:50:22 PM
You shouldn't be running out of things to say, with the right person.

I've run out of things to say with people and although we got along ok it was clear we weren't made for each other.

On the other hand I've gone out with people hwere the conversation flowed all night long, easily. A little teasing, a story about a family member leads to another story...it just happens.

I'm guessing you guys really aren't compatible but I can understand pursuing it if she's the only option within 20 miles.
 MDNinja
Joined: 1/9/2005
Msg: 12
I need help - Running out of things to talk about
Posted: 2/15/2007 2:56:29 PM
[qoute]i'm thinking that if you are running out of things to talk about you probably aren't in the right relationship...

"The Boss" and i spent everyday for 3 months talking for a minimum of 7 hours a day. We never ran out of things to talk about.


Yup! Have to agree. When it's the right person you could talk for days on end and still want more.


I agree as well. Also, if you meet the right person, you may not have to talk very much.
 belly18dancer
Joined: 7/22/2006
Msg: 13
I need help - Running out of things to talk about
Posted: 2/15/2007 2:59:20 PM
I think it's a matter of taking it to the next level as some suggest....if you are hanging out in person doing an activity it's ok just to have that silent time to enjoy one another's company. But it's awkward when it's on the phone. In person you may have better luck. Before you two meet you may want to make mental notes of things you are going to want to talk about.

good luck
 sunnydaysagain
Joined: 1/28/2007
Msg: 14
I need help - Running out of things to talk about
Posted: 2/15/2007 3:02:21 PM
Hey Bikeman...here's the deal...small talk will only get you so far. You have to open yourselves up...way up. If you two don't feel comfortable doing that after a month...well then I'm guessing that for whatever reason...it just isn't there. It should just flow and when you find that with someone you will know that you are on the right track! Good Luck!
 couldusecompany
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 15
I need help - Running out of things to talk about
Posted: 2/15/2007 9:39:23 PM
I have to tell you man, talking for four weeks without meeting is entirely too long. You must be new to this online dating thing. :) I once invested many many typing hours emailing back and forth with one girl a couple of years back. I must have spent at least 15-20 hours emailing. We had an incredible connection, and I really felt like I had gotten to know her.

And when we met? Nothing. Nothing at all. No spark. No fire. Nothing.

So meet her asap. And when you do, ensure you are doing an activity so there is no awkward silences on the event you still can't find things to talk about.

Good luck!
 SnuggleSmacks
Joined: 2/4/2007
Msg: 16
I need help - Running out of things to talk about
Posted: 2/16/2007 1:35:23 AM
LOL...so....do ya like...errr...stuff??

Seriously...books, movies, friends, family, art, life...there's so much to talk about!

Is one of your friends going through a hard time? Talk to her about it and ask her what advice she thinks you should give. Are you having a difficult time with a decision? Ask her for an opinion. Find something in a book or movie that touched you or was thought provoking? Describe it to her and see if she has the same reaction.

And remember, the conversation is not all up to you...I'm sure she has stuff to talk about as well.
 __/\_?_/\__
Joined: 1/1/2007
Msg: 17
I need help - Running out of things to talk about
Posted: 2/16/2007 1:50:55 AM
ahhhh..d dilemma..well dunno if this will works out for u but some tips from me would be change any jokes u found on d net when she's at work or something...try to cut the chat short so u hv more stuff to talk about next time u online..or just tell her any random things u hv in mind all day..but i can say that i somewhat agree with above poster, sometimes when u waited too long, things aint goin nowhere. Ahhh gotta remember when me n my boyfriend sometimes feels like we r running out of things to talk about, we used to play internet solitaire when we were apart whilst we both at work lol..quite fun to do cos sometimes we just doesnt feel like talking..then when we have random stuff goin on in our head, we will quickly tell each other about n then it would become a conversation, n it leads to another conversation bla bla bla..i know sounds weird but works for us hehehe. He used to afraid we might running off stuffs to talk about once we met but we both always have a lot things to tell when we see each other...but sorry to say, if u already running out of things to talk about even before u meet, its gonna a be a bit harder once u met...its always best to keep certain things to urself until that moment arrived when u can share another side of urself with each other.

 wpg_chick_84
Joined: 1/23/2006
Msg: 18
I need help - Running out of things to talk about
Posted: 2/16/2007 4:48:18 PM
If you want things to work with this woman you'll probably have to open up a bit and maybe even go into those 'grey' areas. And like someone said, hopefully her trip will give you more to talk about...
 lifecaster1
Joined: 6/15/2007
Msg: 19
I need help - Running out of things to talk about
Posted: 11/21/2007 6:44:57 PM
I'm gonna have to go with Dana here - I think that when you find the right person, there is a natural chemistry that just "clicks", and you never run out of things to talk about. Granted, you or she may speak of such interests in differing ways (to be expected) but there is always a new avenue to explore or a new corner to peek around. I say this as one who also has problems in conversation, but I have found that with the right partner there seems to be no issue at all. I think you are trying too hard. Take the long view on your life, because if she is the one, you wil be with her for a LONG time (hopefully). Soooooooo......

First, I recommend that you MEET HER! You have nothing to lose, guy.

Second, loosen up and just be yourself. If for want of everything else, talk about those topics or things that interest you - it's one sure way to find out if she is the one you are looking for...

Third - chill out. Take it slow, and when in doubt, take it slower!

Mark in Williamsport, PA (aka Lifecaster1)
 Dare to
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 20
I need help - Running out of things to talk about
Posted: 11/21/2007 7:48:44 PM
Yes, meet her so you have a "real" person to connect with... I can sympathise with you though, i'm not a great phone conversationalist either, but i can talk someones ear off in person (hypothetically of course)
 Pink Rose Lady
Joined: 10/1/2006
Msg: 21
I need help - Running out of things to talk about
Posted: 11/21/2007 9:49:07 PM
Relationships progress in little steps, and you're still taking baby ones! No wonder you've stalled, it's time to meet in person and find out if there's reason to keep on going, or not. If there is a lot of common ground, you'll never run out of things to talk about, but if you do, then you might not have enough in common to keep things interesting. Good luck.

Pink
 dutchpirate
Joined: 3/4/2007
Msg: 22
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I need help - Running out of things to talk about
Posted: 11/21/2007 10:06:38 PM
The longer you talk, the more it should be easy for conversation to naturally come... if it gets harder... maybe you guys don't match up as well as you'd like to hope.
 greeneyedokiegirl
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 23
I need help - Running out of things to talk about
Posted: 11/21/2007 10:32:26 PM
Agree's with the post above... if you're running out of things to say after 4 weeks... it's not a good sign at all...
 .Selena.
Joined: 9/3/2007
Msg: 24
I need help - Running out of things to talk about
Posted: 11/21/2007 11:58:06 PM
4 weeks is too long to wait to meet someone. At that point, I'd consider the person a chat buddy and not a potential romantic interest. Woman can not live on IMs alone..
 shoree
Joined: 4/29/2007
Msg: 25
I need help - Running out of things to talk about
Posted: 11/22/2007 5:10:16 AM
"Small talk" is for****ail parties and first dates.

Now is the time to open up and share who you really are. Tell her about the things that interest you and what you care about.

Ask her about herself. What things is she looking for in a relationship? What does she like or not like about her job? What is her family like? What things does she like to do on dates? What are the most important things in her life?

If you truly have nothing left to say to each other, it's possible you're not meant to be.
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