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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > If He Says He'll Call You But Don't - Does this Mean He's Not Into You      Home login  
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 ~ Wendy ~
Joined: 2/9/2007
Msg: 1
If He Says He'll Call You But Don't - Does this Mean He's Not Into YouPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Here's the scenario: You are out on a date with a guy and you think things are going great. The two of you are carrying on a conversation and are having fun. Finally the date ends and he says he'll call you tomorrow. Tomorrow rolls around and you don't get a phone call from him.

Does this mean he's not as into you as you thought? Could he just be busy and never got
around to it or do women just overthink the reasons why guys don't call when they say
they will?

 hardcoredaydreamer
Joined: 8/17/2005
Msg: 2
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If He Says He'll Call You But Don't - Does this Mean He's Not Into You
Posted: 2/17/2007 1:46:42 PM
i just don't know *breaks down*
 one_beachlvr
Joined: 1/5/2007
Msg: 3
If He Says He'll Call You But Don't - Does this Mean He's Not Into You
Posted: 2/17/2007 1:52:51 PM
"I'll call you" = "Goodbye"

Guys misuse that phrase so often that it is now meaningless. I never worry about whether a guy will call or not. If we both really want to go out again, we've usually begun talking about the second date before the first date is over. If you get to the end and it hasn't come up, move on. If he calls, he calls; if he doesn't, don't sweat it.
 Nicky2Tone
Joined: 11/17/2006
Msg: 4
 subboy777
Joined: 9/30/2005
Msg: 5
If He Says He'll Call You But Don't - Does this Mean He's Not Into You
Posted: 2/17/2007 1:58:45 PM
There are so many valid reasons for this (alot have been stated in prevous threads asking the same question)

sometimes people lose the numbers, sometimes they totally forget due to being busy or for another valid reason.
some were not actually interested at all and had no intention to call (however will get your number to end the communications that night)

I dont think it a problem of overthinking the reasons, but not being able to accept the fact that you may not get the call and move on, and or be patient and give him time to call (again moving on if he does not within the week)

the only way you will ever know why a guy did not call, is by asking him (if you have other methods of doing so (eg email)
 JoJoTheMonk
Joined: 12/26/2006
Msg: 6
If He Says He'll Call You But Don't - Does this Mean He's Not Into You
Posted: 2/17/2007 2:16:47 PM
Personally, I hate the phone. Talking live to a person and hearing their voice most times will give me lockjaw. Im afraid of what to say, of making meaningful conversation. I prefer email/msn/etc because it feels less pressure since i think of it as a less formal conversation.

As well, guys are notorious for losing things, or at least I am. And we hate to admit when we do it.
 Tramp
Joined: 2/8/2007
Msg: 7
If He Says He'll Call You But Don't - Does this Mean He's Not Into You
Posted: 2/17/2007 2:30:21 PM
He did not find you as intersting as he thought.
Call, and find it out; it may hurt, but that's the only way you wil now.
 Yogeshi
Joined: 2/9/2007
Msg: 8
If He Says He'll Call You But Don't - Does this Mean He's Not Into You
Posted: 2/17/2007 2:57:12 PM
I never bring up a second date while on a date. I always call if I say I will.

However, I am not a fan of the phone. The only reason I use it is to set up dates and contacts friends who are unavailable to do things with or talk to in person.

So I'll give you what I can based on my perspective.

Something could have come up and prevented him from calling, or he could have been busy. You could be right that he wasnt that into you. He may also have realized that chanes are almost every guy you've previously dated probably called you the next day - and where are they now? (He may want to stand out a bit and call a bit later.)

Chances are good that he just didnt have the chance to, since you can only assume he is [somewhat] at man of his word to this point. You've only been on one date, you have to remember his world hasn't stopped turning because of that and that you are not yet #1 on his priority list. (Albeit it stands as reasonably acceptable that you expect to be #1 once the relationship progresses past a certain point.)

Don't worry about it. It's neither a reflection on you nor your responsibility to live up to his word. Heck, if you have someone else you can be going out with in the mean time then might as well.
 socialchiklet
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 9
If He Says He'll Call You But Don't - Does this Mean He's Not Into You
Posted: 2/17/2007 3:03:34 PM
Well, most likely not into you or married...lol, men :P
 Foxx Mulder
Joined: 1/25/2007
Msg: 10
If He Says He'll Call You But Don't - Does this Mean He's Not Into You
Posted: 2/17/2007 3:03:48 PM
Regardless if he was busy or not, a phone call, or email only takes a few minutes. As is the case with some men, he is just inconsiderate, and didn’t think it was a big deal to go back on his words. In the beginning of a relationship is when the most is expected for honesty. If he said he was going to call, then he should have, as that is the right thing to do. I could go on with about a hundred reasons why he might not have called you, but he is the only one who knows. You should be asking him. Not all guys are like this, just a few select ones. If he does call you give him hell, let him know that if that’s how he wants to start the relationship, then you are not interested.
 ~ Wendy ~
Joined: 2/9/2007
Msg: 11
If He Says He'll Call You But Don't - Does this Mean He's Not Into You
Posted: 2/17/2007 4:07:50 PM
The scenario is only hypothetical. It's happened in the past, but at this moment there's really no real potential relationship. I just wanted to get a guy's opinion on the whole saying you'll call and you don't. Not to say females don't do it too. I tend to give the benefit of the doubt most of the time, so I don't know if I was giving a guy too much credit or just say he wasn't all that interested and forget about it.
 Foxx Mulder
Joined: 1/25/2007
Msg: 12
If He Says He'll Call You But Don't - Does this Mean He's Not Into You
Posted: 2/17/2007 4:22:37 PM

The scenario is only hypothetical.


If the scenario is only hypothetical, how come you did not do a topic search? You could have read a dozen posts on this topic.
 judythecuety
Joined: 2/2/2006
Msg: 13
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If He Says He'll Call You But Don't - Does this Mean He's Not Into You
Posted: 2/17/2007 7:11:46 PM
You really should get the book ...that'd be the end of asking ???s like this.
 livefire
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 14
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If He Says He'll Call You But Don't - Does this Mean He's Not Into You
Posted: 2/17/2007 8:04:45 PM
Not calling is either showing right off how unimportant you are to that person or a powerplay, it doesn't matter who(guy/girl) is the one suppose to be doing the calling. Either way, they are history.
 beenarover
Joined: 1/22/2007
Msg: 15
If He Says He'll Call You But Don't - Does this Mean He's Not Into You
Posted: 2/18/2007 12:08:48 AM
in reply to your title without even having to read the body of the message... yes.

lol i could have left it at that because very likely YES... and if he's not interested, he was impolite at least in not calling you. I am somewhat bias, because i'm am attracted a lot less women than the average guy, so when i do find someone i'm interested in, i definitely make that call on the dot. it's easy for me; not any other women on the go. but for the players, some of them need a palm pilot or something to organize their game a little during fluctuations.

i've had an outing with a woman where I, PERSONALLY, have had a gay old time, but in terrible obliviousness, have found out later that she was planning my/her exit from the very beginning of the acquaintance.
 mustride28
Joined: 9/24/2005
Msg: 16
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If He Says He'll Call You But Don't - Does this Mean He's Not Into You
Posted: 2/18/2007 12:35:39 AM
Does it matter,the end results are the same.I have ment to call girls,lost the number,got rapped up in life,then when I remember feel bad for forgetting,so not called.But as a rule I don't take numbers without having intent of calling.Later mustride
 ~ Wendy ~
Joined: 2/9/2007
Msg: 17
If He Says He'll Call You But Don't - Does this Mean He's Not Into You
Posted: 2/18/2007 1:13:08 AM
Well I guess the scenario isn't hypothetical anymore. I just got back from a night out with some friends. While at the club I had my eye on a eye. When we passed by yet again he gave me his card and told me to call him. I was a little leery but I saw him once again before I left and we talked for a second. Well I gave him my number and told him to call me later. At first he texted messaged me and then he called.. guess we'll have to wait and see what happens..
 subboy777
Joined: 9/30/2005
Msg: 18
If He Says He'll Call You But Don't - Does this Mean He's Not Into You
Posted: 2/18/2007 1:34:52 AM

he gave me his card and told me to call him. I was a little leery but I saw him once again before I left and we talked for a second. Well I gave him my number and told him to call me later


no offence, but if had already given your his phone number and asked you to call, why did you feel it necessary to do the exact same thing to him? just interested
 prolibertate
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 19
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If He Says He'll Call You But Don't - Does this Mean He's Not Into You
Posted: 2/18/2007 5:06:52 AM
OP, sometimes they say they'll call and don't because they think it's letting one down easier...Other times, something simply came up...Sure, it only take a minute to make a call, especially since most people have cell phone stoday; but if they want to talk for longer than a few minutes, they may wait until they have mroe time. Or they could have simply had something happen, a personal emergency, the car broke down, a really really bad day, etc. and just aren't in the right frame of mind to have a nice conversation with anyone. And I do think we over-analyze sometimes, though when we like someone it can be hard not to do that. If he doesn't call in the next few days, figure he just moved on, and do the same; you really haven't lost anything except someone who wasn't as interested in you as you want someone to be...and it's so much better when they're as interested in you as you are in them ;)
 ~ Wendy ~
Joined: 2/9/2007
Msg: 20
If He Says He'll Call You But Don't - Does this Mean He's Not Into You
Posted: 2/18/2007 7:59:24 AM

no offence, but if had already given your his phone number and asked you to call, why did you feel it necessary to do the exact same thing to him? just interested


No offense taken! It's a club and of course we had been drinking. Usually I'm not a fan of meeting guys at bars/clubs, because of the whole drinking factor and the clouded perception. I guess I gave him mine to see if he really was interested even in the slightest. I didn't wanna be the one to call and say Hi this is Wendy from the club last night and him be like oh well I'm busy... Because I thought he was a cutie and seemed like a nice guy from the little bit we talked, if he really wanted to talk to me again he'd call.

But then again it could have backfired and he could have thought I wasn't into him. Thank God it didn't though!
 **SisterOfNight**
Joined: 11/20/2006
Msg: 21
If He Says He'll Call You But Don't - Does this Mean He's Not Into You
Posted: 2/18/2007 8:03:43 AM
To the original poster: Ha! I once called a guy out on this when he said this to me at the end of a date. I was like, "Yeah...riiiiight you'll call me" etc. Let's just say I made him feel like crap and boy was his face ever red. He actually did call to appologize in fact for saying it then said he wasn't interested. At least he was being honest with me BUT only when I had to call him on this I mean c'mon...it's a line and an obvious one. Have any of you actually called someone on this? I wish people could be honest at least for once in their lives. Simply don't say things or make false promises that you can't keep. Stop wasting your breath and another person's time. I believe this is why so many people remain single due to the stupid games people play. Just be honest. If you met someone at a club well I then wouldn't expect someone to call regardless. I personally have refused to take someone's number in the past at a club because I knew it wouldn't go anywhere.
 ~ Wendy ~
Joined: 2/9/2007
Msg: 22
If He Says He'll Call You But Don't - Does this Mean He's Not Into You
Posted: 2/18/2007 10:25:03 AM

Have any of you actually called someone on this?


I have never called anyone out on it. But I think for now on I will - might be fun to see some guy's face turn red from getting found out!


If you met someone at a club well I then wouldn't expect someone to call regardless.


That's probably why I gave him my number too. I didn't wanna call in case he gave me the number just without really thinking about doing it and I was just some random girl. This way if he was really into me he'd call me. I have had no luck with meeting guys in clubs. Plus usually if I've been drinking too much my judgement gets a little cloudy so I put the ball in his court and he could make a move if he wanted to. Luckily he did!
 Proud_Mom
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 23
If He Says He'll Call You But Don't - Does this Mean He's Not Into You
Posted: 2/22/2007 6:55:00 PM
Yah this just recently happened to me and this is why I chose to be single... Ok so I bought this new cell phone and there is chat rooms on there so one night I was extremly bored and decided to check it out.. First guy who messaged me was from my town so we decided to meet the next morning for coffee... Well we met and I thought it went ok but I never got the call back, but he was going out of town till today for work and said would call but when I texted him after we met he said he had fun and would call but never responded or called me.. Should I forget about him??
 talista
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 24
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If He Says He'll Call You But Don't - Does this Mean He's Not Into You
Posted: 2/22/2007 9:37:41 PM
When people meet in person, especially if they know one another from online, but this could be in any situation where the feelings are not mutual...

I think it is harder for them to say "I am not attracted to you" or "I am not feeling the level of chemistry you are" especially if it is evident that the other person is really excited about the situation and possibilities.

It is much easier just to finish the date on a high note and never look back.
 Leslie27
Joined: 1/31/2007
Msg: 25
If He Says He'll Call You But Don't - Does this Mean He's Not Into You
Posted: 2/22/2007 10:18:02 PM
"He Just Not Into You" very informative like a slap in the face we women tend to ignore about men. If he doesn't call you call him once. If he doesn't answer leave him a message. Don't call him back. If he's into you then he will call you back if he doesn't move on. His loss.
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