| | Does pretty only get you so far?...Page 1 of 2 (1, 2) | Guys have you been interested and dated a girl that has intense food allergies and can't really eat out freely? I have some bad allergy problems that have developed in the last ten years and I think it is one of the reasons I am single because it scares people not just men.
But I think it is a drag as well because people like to eat and drink and be merry, especially in the beginning? People that have health issues have an added obstacle I think in connecting with someone. I have a girlfriend that has recurrent bouts of vertigo and she understands that it plays a part in taking her as a package. Do you think that pretty only gets you so far?
I am very healthy and active a part from that.
DD | |
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| Does pretty only get you so far?...
Posted: 2/20/2007 3:54:25 AM | Turn the whole situation around:
Find out if there's a cooking class out there for people with food allergies - if there isn't, find a cook with personality skills who might want to organize one. Then enroll yourself, meet others who might be in the same boat, or take the guy that you're interested in to the class. That way the two of you can spend time together, do the eat drink and be alive thing together at the beginning of the relationship like a lot of other couples.
That way, if he doesn't have food allergies, he's at least aware of the situation, is conscious of the effort going in to make a great meal, and of course spending more time with you is the important part. | |
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| Does pretty only get you so far?...
Posted: 2/20/2007 5:05:37 AM | I don't think that is that much of an issue to many men, unless the only thing you can eat are green vegetables, fruits and tofu. | |
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| Does pretty only get you so far?...
Posted: 2/20/2007 5:44:29 AM | dear daisyduck, everybody has something wrong with them, nobody is perfect,but not many would admit to it, i mean me for instance i`m so close to being perfect its scares me! joke, before i get pounced on, and you are pretty, also if someone does`nt want you because of health reasons, its they who are the weak ones, things will work out for you.  | |
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| Does pretty only get you so far?...
Posted: 2/20/2007 5:45:36 AM | hi there ,i saw your story online ,and wanted to say hello!I think when a person is normal and balanced it shouild not matter !!!!!!!!!,what if you had cancer or diabetes?? you have to eat ,on your regime !you should look in to this book ,"the Yeast Syndrome" ,it may explain to you why you got these allergies to begin with,i read a lot and recomment it ! warm greetings Inga :) Ps pretty only get you that far ,beauty truly comes from the heart ,and shallow People only see the wrapping ,because they are not in touch with there soul :) ::: | |
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| Does pretty only get you so far?...
Posted: 2/20/2007 7:17:24 AM | Wow you guys thanks for the encouragement and the compliment. I am going to get that book and give it a try. You are right that a lot of people especially as they get older have different health issues. I will try and get that book Inga and read up.
Thanks DD | |
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| Does pretty only get you so far?...
Posted: 2/20/2007 9:58:29 AM | | I won't mind your food alergies if you don't mind my being clastrophobic! I get very ... um... tense if trapped in a small area or confined to the point where I don't think I can get out and move about in someway. | |
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| Does pretty only get you so far?...
Posted: 2/20/2007 10:23:58 AM | a food allegry isnt so bad..unless you cant eat hot dogs, sausages, kielbasi and bananas and stuff....
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| Does pretty only get you so far?...
Posted: 2/20/2007 10:31:30 AM | I don't find people who refer to themselves as pretty, to be so. Just me, I guess...
Insofar as the allergies? They shouldn't be an impediment to developing a relationship. I mean, you eat what you want and so should your partner. I'm sure there are still some things you can share, but I don't see where, not, eating the same food would discourage attraction.
Unless, you're one of those "George Costanza" types, and go for the corned beef on rye, during love making...
Just sayin'... | |
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| Does pretty only get you so far?...
Posted: 2/20/2007 11:00:28 AM | I hear ya! I am in the same boat. Let's compare food allergies.
Nuts (lethal)
Dairy (fine as an ingredient but if I can see it, its concentration is too high)
Eggs (fine as an ingredient but if I can see it, its concentration is too high)
Fruits with seeds in their meat (tomatoes, kiwi, bananas, watermelons, etc.)
Wine (made of grapes, see "Fruits with seeds in their meat")
Roasted grains/beans
Coffee (see "Roasted grains/beans")
Beer (see "Roasted grains/beans")
Soy flour (see "Roasted grains/beans")
Cloves
Thus I cannot eat pizza for three different reasons. 
Does it hurt my social life? Yes, it did initially. I used to just play Russian roulette and take my chances at restaurants. I'd tell the waitress about my nut allergy and ask questions of the menu to avoid the rest. However, restaurants are messy when it comes to what's done in the kitchen. Nothing spoils a romantic date than being rushed to the Emergency Room. And then one "joy" ride to the ER, the ER doctor said this is how I will die. That either I stop going to restaurants or my allergy reactions will just steadily quicken until the day I cannot be rushed to the ER in time. That's when I stopped eating at restaurants.
However, I still went to restaurants with friends and dates. I would just order a soda and sip. But people feel weird around those that don't eat with them at restaurants and my invitations to them became less and less ... and then none. It sucked but I understood.
What I did then was host parties at my place. Every weekend, I'd have some big party there. Movie marathons, board game days, college football barbeques, and so forth. It really ate into my wallet but it did keep me social.
As for dating, since giving up restaurants, I just don't take dates to restaurants. I either cook them a meal at my place or, if that's too intimate too soon, I pack a picnic basket. Works just fine. I tell them my allergies and everything is cool with them. They invite me over for home-cooked meals a lot. We do picnics at parks a lot.
However, I am about to start a new chapter in my life of traveling full-time as a casino and cruiseship reviewer. Back to restaurants. Back to danger. However, I will be sending my allergy list before me to my next destination and insist I get assigned two or three waitresses for my entire stay with them. And if I get served something that triggers an allergy reaction, I'll burn them to Hell in my review.  
As for you, you being a woman, you offering to cook a home-cooked meal is a no-brainer and less unusual than for a guy to offer to do so. Bye bye restaurants. And bachelors LOVE home-cooked meals over restaurant meals.  Bachelors eat at restaurants so much they're not really that special anymore. I would though suggest you toss picnics into the mix for variety sake. Even during winter. Have the picnic in the back of a mini-van looking out on a beautiful frozen view. It's really quite fun and definitely unusual. Also, during winter, what I have done is rented a room at an extended-stay hotel and cooked up meals in the room's kitchen. These are great. Bring along your swimming suit and you two can also take advantage of the hotel's jacuzzi and swimming pool.  Makes for a great fun day. | |
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| Does pretty only get you so far?...
Posted: 2/20/2007 11:20:07 AM | | I'm sorry but first you have to be pretty to get that far, then after you've accomplished pretty (which is all in your head, if you think your beautiful, simple! you are!) then its on to personality and other traits that make you "who you are" after your being yourself if he doesn't like you take out the trash, empty the blender, put in a movie and relax for a couple days then back to the rod and bait start fishing again ahahaha :) good luck girl :P | |
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| Does pretty only get you so far?...
Posted: 2/20/2007 12:06:04 PM | | I was talking about pretty in the general sense. But yes I do think that I am not out of line to say that I am generally attractive as are most people. That wasn't really my point. Were you motivated to respond because it gave you an opportunity to insult another person therefore making yourself possibly superior. Referring to your first in your message (baleitch) | |
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| Does pretty only get you so far?...
Posted: 2/20/2007 12:13:34 PM | Snowman that is a great idea. It just makes me feel better to know that there is someone out there that has a similiar experience. I think I am similar to you. I can eat at sushi places and there was one really nice country club because they have a proper chef there that made an awesome grilled chilled and plain organic salad.
It certainly teaches us to stand up for our rights doesn't it?!
I have trouble with some things that are in higher concentrations. I am not good with Coffee, soy as an ingredient but not on its own.
No diary, eggs, wheat, corn, I can't even smell nuts without having a feeling some reaction, tomatoes, there is longer list and I think it has to do with certain food families.
Good luck in your travelling | |
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| Does pretty only get you so far?...
Posted: 2/20/2007 12:15:27 PM | I didn't mean to sound conceited when I said about being pretty it was a reference to looks and how far they can get you. That it doesn't matter how attractive you are some things are still obstacles.
DD | |
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| Does pretty only get you so far?...
Posted: 2/20/2007 1:17:32 PM | Looks are generally only the the attracting point. Like when you first meet you may or may not be attracted to someone.
After that , unless very shallow looks are gone past, and personality kicks in.
If you have that no food allergy will keep men away. (in my opinion)
You can meet a woman that is a knock out when it comes to looks and after an hour with her you may want to toss her off a bridge. But you may meet a woman that is not all that nice looking and after talking with her and getting to know her she becomes much more attractive.
Personality is the key.
On another note maybe you should add that to your profile and see what happens. You just might attract men with similar issues.
Or let them know before the first date, and then offer to cook for them. | |
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| Does pretty only get you so far?...
Posted: 2/20/2007 3:40:59 PM | OK...this was a bit different than the actual title
But my answer to the question is YES
and my answer to the paragraph is WTF
look...dont worry about these trivialities....focus on your strengths...seriously | |
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| Re: Does food intolerance count?
Posted: 2/20/2007 4:12:11 PM | | I'm sorry, yes. I would vastly prefer to find a mate who can actually eat, normally. When I'm on a date, and I find out the girl has some major problem with food (allergies such as peanut or milk, no gall bladder = easily upset stomach, or even strictly vegetarian) I cringe a bit inside. It lowers the value of the whole package, slightly. I'm not entirely sure why - perhaps it's about versatility. And, that I've dated so many women with food problems. | |
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| Does pretty only get you so far?...
Posted: 2/20/2007 4:47:48 PM | Yes, pretty definitely only goes so far. If there isn't a MUCH deeper connection going on in the relationship, pretty loses most if not all of it's appeal.
And speaking of the food allergy thing of sorts, I had a ex who was allergic to cigarette smoke. I thought it was cool in the beginning because I do not want to be with someone who smokes and I knew she would never start. The problem came when I realized we couldn't go to Vegas or anywhere else where cigarette smoke would be prevalent.
If the relationship was great, I would have been ok with it but since it wasn't, this really bothered me after awhile. | |
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| Does pretty only get you so far?...
Posted: 2/20/2007 5:04:04 PM | something like a food allergy would really only be a part of the total package, and probably wouldn't be a huge factor in the relationship. Because of dietary restrictions, there would be some adjustment in how I live (if I can't pet it, talk to it or sleep with it, I'll probably eat it) but if the relationship was great otherwise, I don't see something like that changing things.
Some sort of degenerative disease would be a big deal. It sounds harsh, but if someone has ALS, for example, and is going to be confined to a wheelchair in one year, and dead within 5 years, I would have some serious reservations about dating them. I don't know for sure how I'd decide, but it would certainly have an impact on my decision. | |
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| Re: Does food intolerance count?
Posted: 2/20/2007 11:52:40 PM | | MESSAGE 19!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just knew someone like you would have to turn up sooner or later. CRINGE A BIT IT LOWERS THE VALUE OF THE PACKAGE. What if you marry someone and the poor creature becomes pregnant, gets morning sickness, her body changes shape, her moods change, and sometimes they punch some stupid right alien where it makes your eyes water........grow up !!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| Re: Does food intolerance count?
Posted: 2/21/2007 3:02:41 AM | Patricia,
The original poster asked a question - in the ask a guy forum - and this guy gave an honest answer. If you wish to criticize me personally over it, please do so through private email - I'd be quite willing discuss it with you there. | |
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| Does pretty only get you so far?...
Posted: 2/21/2007 7:46:22 AM | | I'd say yes, pretty can only get a girl so far. One thing I've noticed is so many girls have problems with food. Some are always dieting and counting calories, some don't eat and starve themselves, some eat too much, food allergies is one I havent come across yet but yes it would get annoying. Just like someone who say coughed all the time or smoked heavily. Other peoples problems can effect you and it would make it hard to go out to eat or enjoy the finer things in life if she was always sick or in fear of food or had some kind of crazy relationship with it. | |
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