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| Need a brutally honest profile review?
Posted: 2/23/2007 5:37:18 PM | You got it schnitzel 
Title:
"Strolling Through Raindrops... " - This is cool! Keep it!
Pictures:
Clear and varied - Excellent! Complies with my 3-2(1) recommendation too.
Interests:
Seperate "Sketching/Sculpting/Painting" into 3 seperate interests
-Otherwise these are good, clear and individualized.
About me:
"Profession - Please ask" - Hm? If you are using this a conversation hook, I guess that might work, but if you leave us guys to guess we are probably going to come up with something like 'Stripper'.
"I am acutely observant and usually insightful." - I wouldn't go any farther than this otherwise the brag train might show up at the station ready to take off - but with this it's more like a detail than a brag. As it is it's great, but be carefull with brags!
"It's been said that I'm" - I don't like sentences that start off like this, I would consider revising.
"An empathetic and maternal creature" - I would be carefull with the use of the word 'Maternal'. To me this translates into man speak as "I want to be your new mommy". Yikes.
"I'm not actively seeking a relationship because as of yet I'm not geographically settled." - Eh? Clarify this please.
"I'm not going to limit any possibilities by over-describing the type of people I would like to meet." - Great!
Overall - This is actually a great profile and I am really impressed, I only had a few nitpicks with this one. Great job! Fix up the little things and clarify a few points and you are set! | |
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| Need a brutally honest profile review?
Posted: 2/23/2007 6:15:29 PM | I've read you're other reviews in the forums, I appreciate you're opinion, thanks for the comments! I've made some changes. By the time tomorrow rolls around you are going to be swamped with requests!
BTW the profession bit is not necessarily a conversation starter, At home I was an Art teacher but now I'm traveling and living off savings. Don't really want to tick the 'unemployed' box. I know it may hinder possible responses or encourage sugar daddy types. (been there, done that, strange, strange responses! It seems certain gentlemen seek out unemployed ladies!  )
The geographically unsettled thing - think I've clarified.
Thanks for you're time!
schnitzel
(not a stripper ) | |
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| Need a brutally honest profile review?
Posted: 2/23/2007 9:51:07 PM | This one is for Maria:
Title:
"Hello...Is this thing On?" - This shows personality, I like it
Pictures:
Face pictures are great, but you should add a more clear full body picture (upper half of torso can also work)
Interests:
Remove "and too many to list here"
Specify "cooking", i.e. specific types of food perhaps (Or you can do this in the about me section, I haven't gotten there yet though)
?? "Ipod" - ??
Correct "snowbroading"
- I would also add some genres of music you listen to, specifics are always great, overall your list is better than average, just needs a couple more.
About me:
"Ok..where do I begin?" - Don't really need this part, but doesn't really have to go either. I'll put it in the "meh" category.
"I am Beauty [Sophia Loren] and Grace [Rita Hayworth] with a touch of Sarcasm [Rosalind Russell] all rolled up in one." - Now where have I seen this before? Either I've already reviewed your profile somewhere else or somebody else is using the exact same line. But regardless, attention all passengers the brag train will be arriving at platform 2.
"I am a little wild, can be spontaneous at times [mostly all of the time], but other times be serious. [but only when I have too]" - I see this line a lot in other profiles, almost word for word. I would like to see you clarify this and maybe mention an example or two of how you can be crazy and perhaps when you might be serious. I would do that, or remove this part. Up to you.
"So if you're looking for a girl that is willing to stay in one place, willing not to speak her mind, then stop read this page and move on." - The bragging train starts to pick up the pace, as the crazed engineer poors some liquid "disqualifying statements" fuel onto the fire. The wheels start to screech and shake as the speed increases greatly.
"I live my to the fullest and not afraid to take chances." = Cliche + you forgot the most important word of said cliche.
"My favorite style of cooking is Cuban." - This is what I wanted to see in the interests section. Maybe you should change 'cooking' as an interest to 'cuban cooking'?
"I've learn to make the world" - Needs to be 'learned'
"But I enjoy cooking different kinds of cultures." - Lets cook the Canadians!!!!!
"If you don't have a picture I'm not going to respond to your mail. It's only fair I have pictures you should too. This includes message window also." - The engineer of the brag train, gone insane with his lust for speed throws on yet another bucket of liquid disqualifying statements!! The train wheels start to loosen and fly off, and the engineer starts to lose control! Who could possibly qualify to meet this girl??? It's total madness!!
"FYI: Ages 25-38, [prefer]light eyes, any color hair, and Must care for your body and health." - Aaaaahhhh!!!! Ka-BOOM!!! The train couldn't take anymore speed and flies off the tracks and smashes into a lake!
First Date:
"I don't believe in first dates, I prefer a short meeting over a drink or tea/coffee and lets see how it goes. But a great first date should be fun and stress free. For example bowling, shooting pool, ect something where the music is not loud and you can hear your date." - I like your first comment, the rest will go to the "meh" category.
Overall:
This profile is pretty good, add another picture, clean up the typos, and consider lowering the speed of the brag train if not stopping it all together before it takes off and explodes. And besides, all of your disqualifying statements disqualified me!
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| Need a brutally honest profile review?
Posted: 2/23/2007 10:10:12 PM | For "sexyblondeangel":
I can't really review your profile since it's an intimate encounter oriented one. I really have no advice for you on that one. But I would imagine that women are even more scarce on that section of the site than in the regular one that even if your profile was totally blank or said that you ate rats out of a garbage can you would still get tons of responses. | |
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| Need a brutally honest profile review?
Posted: 2/24/2007 6:17:29 AM | Okay, I reviewed yours. Only fair to let you review mine.
I think this is a great idea - you give very good reviews.
Good luck with the thread. | |
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| Need a brutally honest profile review?
Posted: 2/24/2007 6:25:59 AM | hey...
i'm new to the site (3 days), but i like your profile reviews.
d'yeh mind giving some feedback on mine? it would be really helpful.
thanks!
jan | |
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| Need a brutally honest profile review?
Posted: 2/24/2007 7:05:45 AM | Please check out my profile. I know it would help is I had a picture....any and all advice you can give will be greatly appreciated.
Thanks, Lisa | |
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Mia828
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Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 15 | |
| Need a brutally honest profile review?
Posted: 2/24/2007 9:55:03 AM | I like your review. I like the brag train very good theory in used. I've fixed the spelling and grammar errors. Hopefully fixed all of the typos. I've also added another photo of myself as well. And took out some parts that you suggested. I'm hoping this updated better.
"If you don't have a picture I'm not going to respond to your mail. It's only fair I have pictures you should too. This includes message window also." It's gone
"FYI: Ages 25-38, [prefer]light eyes, any color hair, and Must care for your body and health." - It's gone.
Thank you for you help and your honesty. Maybe now my profile will be less disqualifying and you won't be disqualified anymore! | |
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| Need a brutally honest profile review?
Posted: 2/24/2007 10:20:11 AM | I would really like some advice. I see you give great reviews, meaning that you are critical yet not rude. Honest and sincere. Please give me what ya got!
Thanks
Sarah | |
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| Can u give me a review pls?
Posted: 2/24/2007 3:49:22 PM | Hello I was checking out some of your reviews and you're good. Would you mind looking at mine and letting me know if there is something I can do different? Whenever you get a chance. No rush | |
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ilnux
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Joined: 2/18/2007
Msg: 21 | |
| Need a brutally honest profile review? Yes I do
Posted: 2/25/2007 12:05:13 AM | | All I want is to meet friends. I seem to get a bit of replies but lack getting replies from people with similiar interests. I was wondering where I'm going wrong. You can be as harsh as you want. Thanks, Ashley | |
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| Need a brutally honest profile review? Yes I do
Posted: 2/25/2007 1:31:29 AM | This one is for TO Woman:
Pictures:
Here we have some clear face pictures, and another clear upper torso picture. Perfect!
Title:
"Think you can keep up with me?" - This sounds like a threat! Or at least a very bold statement. If this does in fact does match your personality then keep it, but if not then maybe it could use some revision.
Interests:
Remove "Spending Time With Friends"
Remove "Great Conversation"
Remove "Laughing So Hard it Hurts"
Clarify "Good Food"
Clarify "Being Silly"
- My reasons for the 'remove's is because they are all quite common and don't really express individuality which should always be your goal. While they are somewhat different from the standard "laughing", "hanging out", "talking" interests, they are still basically the same cart with different wheels. For the clarifys, these would make a good opportunity to express individuality by making them more specific. What kind of food is good food? And so on...
About me:
"I am a curious cat." - People (but for some reason more prolifically, women) who describe themselves as cats, or use cat nicknames or screen names tend to give off kind of a spooky vibe. Maybe change 'cat' to 'person'?
"I live for good humour and cleverness... go ahead, make me laugh out loud just reading my computer screen!" - I understand your reason for writing this, but quite honestly this would scare some people (like me for example) away. Because then I would think - if I don't come up with some A-grade comedy material for her right away she is going to get bored of me quickly and I will have wasted a lot of time coming up with that material. You want to keep the pressure low. Some of us need a situation to come up with something funny to say about it. Over email.... way harder.
Under "my city" - "together with friends" - Just to let you know this is the third time you've said this in your profile including the interests section.
"I don't watch a lot of TV, but I can't miss House on Tuesdays, and of course my beloved Raptors." - I like this because it's a very easy, low pressure "hook".
"Musically, I like older stuff - 60s/70s/80s. Love the energy and wonder of 50s/60s pop - it's like they felt they were inventing music for the first time, and in a way - they were." - Another good hook, score!
"Stones, CCR, Seger, Who, Dire Straits, Clash, and so on, et cetera." - Specific music artists!! You are really on a roll!
Overall:
This is another example of a great profile that just needs a few little tweaks. Great job! | |
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| Need a brutally honest profile review? Yes I do
Posted: 2/25/2007 1:41:29 AM | This is for peiganjan:
Title:
"A Whole Lotta' Woman" - This is very intimidating. Make sure this is a statement that matches your personality. Would you consider yourself intimidating?
Pictures:
Clear and varied, this is good. However we don't have a full body/upper torso picture. Please add at least one of those, preferably with just you in the picture. I would also consider changing your main picture to #4 or #6. Your current primary picture with the cowboy hat is very significantly different from the others and doesn't really show a median appearance.
Interests:
Clarify "the Arts"
Clarify "music"
Clarify "good films"
Remove "great conversation"
Relocate "community development and building the next generation of leaders" to the 'about me' section. Interests shouldn't be more than 3 words each.
About Me:
I'm kind of scared. I don't really have any suggestions for changes! This is really great. It paints a clear picture of your off-beat personality while presenting a lot of clear examples of what makes you different. And most importantly, you added a description listing some general qualities that you seek in a potential partner without going into a rant about 'head games', etc. This is really fantastic and I don't want you to change this part!
Overall:
Add another picture, clean up your interests section, and just double check your title's message and you are set! | |
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