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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Does "I'm busy" always mean "Not interested"?      Home login  
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 BigBear72
Joined: 6/26/2006
Msg: 1
Does "I'm busy" always mean "Not interested"?Page 1 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
When asking for a second date, does "I'm busy" always mean "I'm not interested"?

I've always assumed that when a girl tells me that she is busy, its a polite way of saying "I don't really want to see you again".

My reasoning is that if she liked me in any way, she would make time to see me...so I always throw out her phone number and move on.

Does this make sense? Or do you think I have missed a lot of great opportunities?
 sunlover64
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 2
Does I'm busy always mean Not interested?
Posted: 2/28/2007 12:32:39 PM
I'm busy for me means I'm busy... maybe that specific date, or for the next week or so... but busy does not mean (at least for me) not interested... don't be so quick to throw out the numbers, you really could miss out...
 VoluptuousinRI
Joined: 2/5/2007
Msg: 3
Does I'm busy always mean Not interested?
Posted: 2/28/2007 12:36:27 PM
It depends on the girl...if I say I'm busy-it's because I am. I usually communicate to the person when I expect to have available time so he knows I'm not brushing him off.

If I'm not interested in a man, I very honestly will let him know-flattered; but sorry don't think we're a match and wish them best of luck; but that is just me
 BigBear72
Joined: 6/26/2006
Msg: 4
Does I'm busy always mean Not interested?
Posted: 2/28/2007 12:43:50 PM
But would a woman who is honestly busy always give me an alternate time when she is free?

Like for instance:

"Sorry, I'm busy this weekend...but how about next Tuesday?"

means she is interested, while:

"Sorry, I'm busy this weekend"

means its time to move on...
 serenefyredancer
Joined: 1/14/2007
Msg: 5
Does I'm busy always mean Not interested?
Posted: 2/28/2007 12:46:50 PM
Wow, you sure don't give anyone much of a chance do ya? You do not really know this person after a first date. I don't think you will ever find someone going about it this way.
People have things going on in their lives that you know nothing about.
I am a busy girl most of the time and when I say I am busy it is because I am.
If I was interested but busy I would add in that maybe we can try another day.
I personally think you may be missing out on something great. Slow down and take one day at a time. Hold on to a phone number for a while until you find out if she is interested. Everyone is in such a rush now days which is what will get you into something that will probably never work out. JMO
 ~*BrownEyedGirl*~
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 6
Does I'm busy always mean Not interested?
Posted: 2/28/2007 1:06:54 PM
If I'm not interested I will usually just say I'm busy. If I'm interested but honestly busy on that particular day, I will suggest an alternate time.

I would try 3 times if I were you, if you keep getting just I'm busy, she's not interested and just can't seem to tell you that. If she suggests an alternate time, that means she's interested but honestly busy.

If it happens too often then she just doesn't have time for a relationship right now. I wouldn't be so quick to throw out the number.

BUT don't do what my last bf did. I work 2 jobs and he would ask me if I could get together to do stuff. I had no probs with that, but would qualify it by saying I have to be home at a certain time or leave at a certain time and he would say well then there's no point I don't just want to see you for an hour. If he was really in to me, it wouldn't have mattered if it was the 15 minutes I was on my break he would have WANTED to see me.
 wpg_chick_84
Joined: 1/23/2006
Msg: 7
Does I'm busy always mean Not interested?
Posted: 2/28/2007 1:15:47 PM
Like bigbear said, if we say we're busy, especially multiple times, it usually means we're not interested, but if we say we're busy and offer an alternative then we usually are interested. A good test for this is to offer 2- different options so the conversation would go like this:

You: I'd really like to meet you for coffee or a drink or something sometime. Are you busy this weekend?
Her: Yeah I am sorry.
You: Well what about next weekend?
Her: I'm actually busy next weekend too.
You: Are you maybe free sometime during the week?
Her: No I'm busy all week.

It's pretty obvious that she's not interested. As an alternative you could also ask the second or third time if there's a time that works for her. If she says she doesn't know and doesn't offer a time line or anything, chances are she's not that interested. Granted there will be times where a person will be busy for a long period of time (I once had a ton of schoolwork to do in 3 weeks as I was taking summer classes and was unavailable during those three weeks) but if she is truly interested she'll let you know about what's going on in her life and say something about how she'd love to meet up with you after whatever she has going on is done and offer a date. If she puts any date on the table, take it and work it into your schedule.
 *tinydancer*
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 8
Does I'm busy always mean Not interested?
Posted: 2/28/2007 2:16:28 PM
What you said makes perfect sense to me. If someone says they're busy and doesn't offer another time to get together, they're not interested.
 GreatAttitude
Joined: 1/3/2007
Msg: 9
Does I'm busy always mean Not interested?
Posted: 2/28/2007 4:43:28 PM
I'm with you. We ALL make time for the things we REALLY want or want to do. If I'm not at the top of your list, then I'd prefer to not be on the list at all.
 couldusecompany
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 10
Does I'm busy always mean Not interested?
Posted: 2/28/2007 4:46:04 PM
Ditto to everyone else's comments. If someone is busy - that's fine. But if they are interested, it appears almost inevitable that they will at least say "but another time - for sure"... or even arrange a time then and there....
 blastkissed
Joined: 2/9/2007
Msg: 11
Does I'm busy always mean Not interested?
Posted: 2/28/2007 4:58:38 PM
If I say that I'm busy, I am. But if I don't say when I won't be busy, then I'm not interested, although I have the honesty to say if I'm not interested so no guessing games.
 ermilee
Joined: 1/15/2007
Msg: 12
Does I'm busy always mean Not interested?
Posted: 2/28/2007 5:32:48 PM
I definately agree that If I say I'm busy I'm busy. I'm a student (as my profile states), so school work keeps me busy and chances are my free time slots may not match the guys. At times as I look back at conversations I have had it seems like I always have excuses, but I am busy. But some people do use it as an excuse, which makes it hard to tell who is lying and who is telling you the truth.
 sassyaquarius
Joined: 4/10/2006
Msg: 13
Does I'm busy always mean Not interested?
Posted: 2/28/2007 5:44:17 PM
Busy means busy for me most definately... you can tell the difference if the girl talks about when she is not busy next...

But you may need to keep her phone number to find that out, lol
 Tarika
Joined: 8/30/2006
Msg: 14
Does I'm busy always mean Not interested?
Posted: 2/28/2007 10:12:20 PM
If I say I'm busy...then, I am busy. But, if I was interested I would suggest an alternative time or date.
 stormee-d
Joined: 1/28/2007
Msg: 15
Does I'm busy always mean Not interested?
Posted: 2/28/2007 11:19:08 PM
what tarika said....

But, if you tried a couple times, and she was ALWAYS busy, and never offering a suggestion of a better time... probably best to move on...
 crystalise
Joined: 6/11/2005
Msg: 16
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History
Does I'm busy always mean Not interested?
Posted: 3/1/2007 3:37:11 AM
"busy" with a re-schedule = genuinely busy but still interested in catching up

"busy" with nothing else = not interested

"busy" with a re-schedule multiple times during a short time whilst dating = unreliable or married

: D
 kitkat02
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 17
Does I'm busy always mean Not interested?
Posted: 3/1/2007 4:37:38 AM
I take "busy" as being not interested, especially if it's being used over and over again.
I hope that the person doing this, doesn't actually think I believe him.
 suzanne36_lkn
Joined: 4/14/2006
Msg: 18
Does I'm busy always mean Not interested?
Posted: 3/1/2007 5:00:06 AM
Yes, it can mean she is not interested. It can also mean she is busy. Its a case-by-case scenario. If you ask her out and she says she's busy, then give her the opportunity to contact you or give you another date and time. If she doesnt, then maybe she isnt interested. Or maybe she's very very busy....
 MomWarnedYouAboutMe
Joined: 1/28/2006
Msg: 19
Does I'm busy always mean Not interested?
Posted: 3/1/2007 10:52:43 AM
Depends on what kind of "Busy" she is.

Work Busy?
Friends and family Busy?
is she too busy to write you back an e-mail? Too busy to meet with you for coffee for 30 minutes?
Too busy to spend an entire saturday hanging out on a date that starts with lunch and ends with a midnight movie?
Too busy to take the week off and fly to Paris?

I think you can tell when someone is making an effort to spend time with you. They apologize when they say they have plans. They sound SINCERE when they apologize. They offer other options. They let you know if this is just a busy phase that will calm down.

Unfortunately some people think it's better to "let you down gently" by just being unavailable than it is to just come out and say "I'm not interested, but thank you anyways" and walk off. I've made that mistake before. Sure, most people are savvy enough to get the hint after a couple of weeks, but it's nicer in my opinion to let them get beyond you as an option sooner than that.
 867love
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 20
Does I'm busy always mean Not interested?
Posted: 3/1/2007 10:59:47 AM
I have to bring up the obvious:
-if you have to ask about this -you probibly already know the answer.
 justforfun521
Joined: 2/1/2007
Msg: 21
Does I'm busy always mean Not interested?
Posted: 3/1/2007 12:57:40 PM
Being a super busy person (two jobs, until recently school, obligations to family and friends) there are many times I say I'm busy, but want to do it another time. And that's excactly what I mean. Of course I'm super upfront so if I didn't want to get together I'd just say that. I think you should give someone at least a couple of chances before you toss the number.
 SS60652
Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 22
Does I'm busy always mean Not interested?
Posted: 3/1/2007 3:42:12 PM
If someone tells you that their busy , without telling you what their busy with and doesn,t try to make later arragenments , that means there getting busy with someone else and it,s time for you to get busy with someone else !!!
 Katie Kate
Joined: 1/30/2007
Msg: 23
Does I'm busy always mean Not interested?
Posted: 3/1/2007 6:00:37 PM
I don't know about all girls, but I'm busy means I'm busy. I don't always know my schedule to make other arrangements.

And I have no problem saying No thanks. I'm not real worried about being polite after one date that I don't really care to repeat. I'm not going to lie and say I'm busy and risk having to hear from someone again if I really don't dig em!
 McShorty
Joined: 7/4/2005
Msg: 24
Does I'm busy always mean Not interested?
Posted: 3/1/2007 6:02:57 PM

"Sorry, I'm busy this weekend...but how about next Tuesday?"

means she is interested, while:

"Sorry, I'm busy this weekend"

means its time to move on...


Couldn't have said it better myself... if she wants to see you, she'll suggest a time, and usually tell you why she's busy..

"Can't, I'm working," something like that..
 PickyProfessional
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 25
Does I'm busy always mean Not interested?
Posted: 3/1/2007 6:33:57 PM
OP: very simple. If she says she's busy, ask her for an alternate time/date or call her again within the week. If she declines twice, you've gotta really wonder. If she does it 3 times, there ain't no question about it.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Does "I'm busy" always mean "Not interested"?