| | What does today's woman find romantic?Page 1 of 4 (1, 2, 3, 4) | Apparently, I am too old fashioned and what I think to be romantic is more often thought by today's women to be "old hat", "unoriginal", and so overly sweet that it makes them want to gag.
I have always used my own talents as a writer and artist to help this along. Poetry and art work to match the piece as a gift. One lady I dated, received a poem every morning in her email box just to brighten her day when she got started. Little messages of sent via a flower currier saying how much I love the lady. Spur of the moment dances in the middle of the room. Bringing breakfast in bed for her. I even made a promise to give the moon and then gave her an expensive hand mirror, finely ornated, took her outside and positioned her hand so she could see the moon in the mirror. "Now you can hold the Moon and Stars whenever you wish."
But... Apparently, that's corny stuff and women of today don't think much of it. Are you all so jaded today that you don't like this stuff anymore?
To help me get up to speed on what a lady would like to have in the way of romance, I thought I'd ask you ladies what you, yourselves, think romance actually is. I really would like to know because I am always looking for new ways to bring a lady happiness and if I'm too old fashioned, maybe I am in need of an up-grade. | |
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| What does today's woman find romantic?
Posted: 3/3/2007 6:44:48 AM | | Romantic to me is just showing that you're thinking about her, but in my opinion, if it's too overly done then it's ruined. I'd think it was really sweet to get a bouquet of wildflowers that they'd picked themselves or a flower that you knew they liked or a bouquet that was their favorite color rather than a dozen red roses. Sometimes the little things can mean the most. Grand gestures lose their meaning if they're too frequent. It can be something as small as a text message when you're apart telling her you miss her, or a little kiss on the cheek when you're in a public place where you can't do more. | |
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| What does today's woman find romantic?
Posted: 3/3/2007 7:04:54 AM | Romantic is showing your affections, I will admit I find poems and flowers corny.
Spontaneous always works best, my first boyfriend would by me roses every week, at first it was romantic but after a while his romantic gestures were less romantic and more automated so lost their appeal, it no longer showed an effort or affection.
My last boyfriend took me to the park at night so I could swing under the stars while he played his guitar and sung to me, before going home and snuggling to get warm out of the cold. His random text message clumsily telling me he couldn't stop thinking about me was far more romantic then if he had sent me daily poems – although I do like the idea of a nice message first thing in the morning from the person you care about, too often just looses it's meaning though.
Your ideas are nice, but I think we are all disillusioned, we have learned now the old-school stuff isn't what we get so we look for things that are more spontaneous and improvised and see the sorts of things you are doing as something less that you have come up with yourself and more something you have taken from an old black and white movie, they don't seem genuine. | |
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| What does today's woman find romantic?
Posted: 3/3/2007 7:19:00 AM | Flowers are very nice..but I Dislike poetry or being sung to.. That to me seems like a performance I have to compliment..when all it does is make me Really uncomfortable..
You know you want to hear how nice the poem/performance was...and we know it too.
My ex used to leave me little notes in front of the morning coffee he had set up for me.
All I had to do was press the button. He was aslo great around the house, often doing more
than his fair share as a surprise.
It's romantic when someone goes out of thier way to make my day more pleasant ..as I do for them..A surprise card or flowers are very much appreciated..but a man who'll take his turn to clean a bathroom or (gasp ) mop a floor...Is 100% more appreciated.
Poetry/cards/flowers do not do it for me if it's from the same person who won't pull thier weight around the house. | |
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| What does today's woman find romantic?
Posted: 3/3/2007 11:04:24 AM | | I think it's super romantic when guys do things to show he pays attention to what I say. Like with me if he were to buy me tickets to see my fave football team or if he were to send me a text message the morning before an exam to say good luck then if he were to call me that night to see how I did. Little stuff like that. I honestly think the daily poem is a bit too over the top. | |
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| What does today's woman find romantic?
Posted: 3/3/2007 11:39:33 AM | Romantic is anything that is genuine. If you write her a poem because she inspires feelings that you just have to express and then it's adorable. If you write her a poem because you think it's the kind of thing women like then not only is it corny it's cringe worthy. You know nothing about her and are dipping into your bag of tricks for some generic gesture.
For example, this promise to give her the moon - did she ever express her desire to have the moon? Where did you get this from?
Being romantic should not be contrived and it doesn't have to be grand. It's romantic when he, comes home from work early so he can spend more time with me, leaves me a voice message because he knows sometimes I just like to be able to hear his voice, gets a DVD that he knows I want to watch and then watches it with me even though he's not particularly interested in it, worries about me, remembers the smallest thing about me that I may have mentioned in passing, calls me as soon as he gets through the door just because he couldn't wait to speak to me.
All of that is as romantic as hell to me and it doesn't require precision planning, arts and crafts or arranging to have satellites repositioned. | |
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| What does today's woman find romantic?
Posted: 3/3/2007 12:05:52 PM | SIMPLICITY is key. To me, simplicity is more raw, real and more to the point. What I consider " romantic " may not be considered romantic at all...but due to my feelings for him, then yes, they are more than I could ever possibly want in a man :
- Making me a nice breakfast in bed
- Walking with me at night in interesting places and actually TALKING to me about everything...no barriers
- Telling me how he feels in the most honest and straightforward way
- Taking the time and effort just to make me happy and well taken care of...
- Doing something good for himself bc I inspired him to do it...
Simple things...but honest and real things.
Being sung to, poetry, flowers, and the mirror business with the " moon and stars " is a tad bit overwhelming....if it's too frequent, it's too much. It can be stifling. | |
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| What does today's woman find romantic?
Posted: 3/3/2007 1:31:17 PM | I don't fall into the usual romantic category.I don't find receiving flowers, being taken to a 5-star restaurant romantic at all. In fact, it sickens me. Because I think you could spend those money buying flowers for "me" on the poor homeless guy who has not eaten since days. You could spend all that time on volunteering in an orphanage or a old age home instead of waiting in a line to reserve that special table in that special restaurant for "me". In my opinion, that's just BS.
I find the daily simple things romantic. If he puts a bandaid on my finger because I cut it while chopping vegetables , then that is romantic. Him coming around and putting his arms around me while I'm washing dishes is what I find romantic. Being the first person to wish me on my birthday is what I find romantic. It should come from his heart not from his pocket. | |
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| What does today's woman find romantic?
Posted: 3/3/2007 2:16:26 PM |
SIMPLICITY is key. To me, simplicity is more raw, real and more to the point.
amen to that.
keep it simple, genuine and an honest reflection of your relationship w/me.
flowers and nice words have their place...but i'm much more honoured when a man will:
wait until i get inside the house before driving away
brush the snow off my car in winter
surprise me w/a bottle of what they know is my favorite red, b/c they paid attention and noted it once over dinner
can engage w/others at a social event, yet be intuned w/me enough to know when my glass is empty, when i'm unable to slip out of a conversation w/someone i'd really rather not be talking to, or that i'm running empty on my social reserves....and responds accordingly
chooses to laugh at my jokes, even if they're not funny
little things. being aware, consciencious, taking the lead.
i like that.
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| What does today's woman find romantic?
Posted: 3/3/2007 2:58:48 PM | | spend time with me, give me your attention...that is simple and all I ask for...let me get to know you and you me....that's real intimacy...talking and sharing and laughing together | |
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| What does today's woman find romantic?
Posted: 3/3/2007 3:34:26 PM | Belly18dancer said:
spend time with me, give me your attention...that is simple and all I ask for...let me get to know you and you me....that's real intimacy...talking and sharing and laughing together
I do this and all the things that have been said should be done, but when I talk about it on this site, I'm told I'm too over the top, too sickening sweet. And... the only time I did something daily (other than helping with stuff around the place) was the email's of poetry. The lady I did that for actually liked it.
I'm just a bit confused when I see women say one thing in one thread and turn around and say something completely different in another thread.
Magic... I wouldn't go near a woman who was even into such stuff! | |
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| What does today's woman find romantic?
Posted: 3/3/2007 4:56:10 PM | I find short unexpected "thinking of you" calls very romantic.
What one woman finds romantic another will not. When getting to know someone find out one or two romantic things they like/ dislike by asking, listening, observing and acting accordingly.
A man I'd been dating for 2mths gave me a blender for Christmas yuck. He remembered I had borrowed his once, thought I wanted one. His heart was in the right place and I appreciated the gesture. If he'd given it to me a year later, I'd have thrown it at him! By then, he definitely would/should have known that appliances weren't a romantic gift for me. Big difference... | |
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| What does today's woman find romantic?
Posted: 3/3/2007 5:07:00 PM | In order for anything to be romantic, it has to be a surprise, and it has to be focused on her.
Surprise her with a bunch of flowers you just picked at the side of the road. Bring her a card. Go get a picture of the two of you printed, and slip it in her jacket pocket before she leaves for work, with a big I love you written on the back.
Write her love letters, with a PEN.
Throw her a surprise party, just because.
Bring her breakfast in bed, and have the laundry (or whatever chore it is she hates to do) finished by the time she wakes up.
Massage her feet.
When you go out to dinner, surprise her with a picnic in the park, instead. Bring a little oil lamp, a blanket, and hide a basket of hot food in the trunk. Bring a book of poetry and some soft music to slow dance to.
Its easy to be romantic. Its all about the element of surprise. | |
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| What does today's woman find romantic?
Posted: 4/26/2007 6:52:14 AM | I agree with Mouseketeer
Spontanious gestures go alot further.
i.e.
leave work early go shopping for food for a nice meal a bottle of wine and a few flowers with out going overboard as well with a unique twist of maybe even laying down some rose pedels on the ground leading to the table and her favorite dining music to boot, then after supper maybe have a movie ready that she would appriciate and dim the lights and the the two of you cuddle up and watch it. anything from there would be up to her.
But only do that on a rare occassion, and then look for other things like with it being sping plant her favorite flowers infron of the house one day.
I to am an old world romantic but I have allways looked for new ways to show my love. | |
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| What does today's woman find romantic?
Posted: 4/26/2007 7:17:36 AM |
But... Apparently, that's corny stuff and women of today don't think much of it.
I don't know about women today, I am 36 and I've never enjoyed that drippy stuff. For me actions speak louder than words.
Are you all so jaded today that you don't like this stuff anymore?
Its got nothing to do with being jaded. It sounds silly and generally sounds fake (I know that 90% of the time when I hear this talk from a man, that it ain't fake... but it still sounds it).
I don't enjoy poetry as a rule. I don't even read it. I don't like flowers either. | |
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| What does today's woman find romantic?
Posted: 4/26/2007 7:19:36 AM | | Keep doing what you feel is right. Dont worry about what "all women" find romantic or whatever...you are looking for someone for YOU! | |
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| What does today's woman find romantic?
Posted: 4/26/2007 7:30:34 AM | Hey, there are some of us left wandering around that would not only like this, but prefer it!
I just happened to luck out and find a man that does things like this... It took me a long time to find him too and I am not letting him out of my sight.
Please don't try to upgrade and be something you are not. We need more men like this whether we realize it or not. I know hundreds of women who would swoon at your attempts. It's OK to be old fashioned if that is how you feel. Do you really want to be someone else, just to be with someone? Do what you want to do!
There are no "women of today." There are a lot of women who are very different in taste and sensibility. | |
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| What does today's woman find romantic?
Posted: 4/26/2007 7:42:32 AM | | If the gesture is sincere and comes directly from his heart, I will adore it, no matter the presentation. It is the pure expression of his love that is the true “gift”. | |
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| What does today's woman find romantic?
Posted: 4/26/2007 7:51:20 AM | Genuine expressions of appreciation are always appreciated.
I may be a bit different from some women, but I would rather
have some simple every day considerations over a poem every day,
or candy/flowers. If I am making dinner, he offers to peel potatoes, or
set the table. Simple helpful things thatvare appreciative. | |
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| Too sweet for me.
Posted: 4/26/2007 11:23:36 AM | The most romantic gift I ever received was from a roomate, not a boyfriend. He gave me an LP of the Beatles to play on my turntable because he noticed whenever I was in love, I would hum "She Loves Me". Talk about paying attention to a girl and making her feel special! Too bad I was involved with someone else at the time.
Flowers and candy and poetry are nice, but if they are done with no effort or worse the idea that the man has to do it, then it makes them appear trite IMHO. A man who goes out of his comfort level to please his woman, that, to me, is romance.
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| What does today's woman find romantic?
Posted: 5/16/2007 9:03:31 AM | I am sorry, I have to respond I am 38 we are in the same age group, and I bluntly have to say, You are speaking for all of us. I love getting flowers, Hello thats an action! He took time to have them sent, or picked, ordered however it maybe.
If someone gives their best to a woman and she isant happy thats her problem not the mans. move on to someone that can respect the things you have to offer.
I Know if you truly love someone and they do you as well, Romance becomes less important, and you love every silly moment, every laughter, every triumph, and every success, and when things seem to be the worse you pull together and not fall apart.
Romance is when two people love one another and the simpliest of things make them smile, It lives with in ones heart and not what one could do for the other. | |
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| What does today's woman find romantic?
Posted: 5/16/2007 11:57:20 AM | Romance isn't just giving flowers, or poetry, or breakfast in bed.
It's all the little things that you do for the one you love to let them know how special they are to you.
It can be all sorts of things... as long as it's showing that you care, that you pay attention, and are doing things to make them happy.
Everyone's different... and that's something you have to remember.
Some find flowers romantic... others think them to be too cliche...
Romance is more than doing the same thing for everyone... because that doesn't really show them much other than you have a routine.
Romance is showing the person that you're with that you understand them, that you have taken the time to get to know them, that you appreciate their likes and dislikes, and that you are thinking of them when you do something for them. | |
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