| Alone and with a choice..
Posted: 5/8/2004 11:53:20 PM | I have for several years now been lonely, the last person I fell in love with ended up leaving me while I was at work for someone else and now I am wondering what I should do as it has been about two years and I am still not sure what I should decide to do. When I found out she had left me at first I decided I should try to find someone else - but that was pointless anywhere I look I get comments on how people feel im the incarnation of evil, how I am ugly and how I am the last person anyone would want to be with. I am aware I do seem young still but I am looking for someone that is willing to commit to being with me so I can commit to being with them, the way I was raised is well I could probably describe it as 'different' than most people's that lives in the USA. I believe one should only have one mate in their entire life and that should a pair of mates break up, they should stay single the rest of their life, but I do not feel beating ones wife or being cruel to one's significant other is acceptable such things should not happen. There is nothing I want in life for myself currently and there hasn't been for quite a while, I simply want a lady to share my life with so I can share accomplishments with. Like many other people, after being rejected I got very depressed, but due to vows I took several years ago suicide is not an option for me. Though I am over having been rejected by her now what depresses me is that there is not a single lady I have encountered that would even want to date me, much less spend their life with me so I have considered living solely for the martial arts I am studying, but I get the feeling that will not make me happy though I do enjoy martial arts. Wherever I go I seem to make people sad, and I have wandered from several places because I didn't want to inconvenience people.
At this point I am trying to decide what to do, no one seems to want me but I dont want to spend my life being lonely, I've been lonely for too many years and I really cant stand it anymore. If anyone has any suggestions they would be much appreciated - thank you. | |
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rjn40
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Joined: 2/15/2004
Msg: 2 | |
| Re: Alone and with a choice..
Posted: 5/9/2004 12:01:46 AM | | first thing....never think of yourself as ugly, that only lowers your self asteam. everyone in this world has wonderful qualities about them, there is someone for everyone. dont give up on finding someone, but dont make it your main objective in life either. You stay with the arts, that is a great thing to do for mental healing or shoudl I say, mental strenght. Your love is out there, somewhere, might not be here, might not be there, but somewhere is that one person that will bring you back to life. Untill you find that person you have to learn to deal with it on your own. Yes, it's not easy, but it has to be done. Keep your head up and things will happen for you. It might take a while, but it will happen :) | |
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| Re: Alone and with a choice..
Posted: 5/9/2004 1:04:10 AM | | Thanks for the support Rjn, but it's really hard to try to enjoy life when you dont even have friends where you live and you generally have nothing to do. I'd be happier even with just someone to hang out with and possibly sparr with, go bowling, whatever. | |
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rjn40
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Joined: 2/15/2004
Msg: 4 | |
| Re: Alone and with a choice..
Posted: 5/9/2004 1:30:31 AM | | look, I have been away from anyone for about two years now, no girlfriend, wife or anything. I thappens, but you cant be all down on yourself over it. Find something to do to take your mind off the lonelyness. No one said it's going to be easy, but you cant live in depression your whole life | |
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rjn40
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Joined: 2/15/2004
Msg: 6 | |
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| Re: Alone and with a choice..
Posted: 5/9/2004 12:48:42 PM | | You may have to lower your standards and play the field. True love isn't going to find you if you 24/7 in martial arts. Go out, get drunk, have fun, and maybe get some! | |
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| Re: Alone and with a choice..
Posted: 5/9/2004 3:51:00 PM | birdman what are you telling him to do? Go get drunk? He is 18! Not 21!
OK, first things first..... Try to make some friends, whether they be in your martial arts class, or outside! At this point of your life, your young, and need to occupy your time that you have, plus it gives you someone that you can talk to when your feeling down...... I have a son that is 20, and he has a few friends that he trust, and hangs out with... They do things like play video games, go skate boarding, dirt bike riding, working on cars, and even playing guitar! He doesn't have a girlfriend either.... He was hurt by a girl about 2 years ago himself.... So I asked him if it bothers him to not have one now, and he said no, he would just rather hang with his friends until a girl comes along that he wants to be with.... But I think if he wouldn't have these friends, then it might be a problem for him! He also has been working since he was 17, so that also takes up more of his time, and keeps him busy.... I agree with rjn, there is somebody for everyone in this world, but finding each other can sometimes be long, and even heartbreaking.... Your young, live life for now, and the rest will come later! I wish you all the luck in the world, and may god be watching over you!..... | |
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| Re: Alone and with a choice..
Posted: 5/9/2004 7:30:41 PM | | What, you think people don't drink until they are 21? If he is old enough to vote or get drafted into the military, then he should be allowed to get drunk. | |
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| Re: Alone and with a choice..
Posted: 5/9/2004 7:56:25 PM | | I know that people drink before they are of age! Your an adult, and should not be telling a minor to go and do this for any reason! He could have a lot more problems than just feeling that he doesn't have a place in this society! Anything could happen to him, and not anything good!........ | |
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| Re: Alone and with a choice..
Posted: 5/9/2004 8:04:02 PM | | Gothic, do you think that he is going to see that and say "Well f#ck it, if birdman says to go get sh*tfaced- it's got to be the best thing ever." He is underaged for drinking, he is not a minor. Does anybody know the legal drinking age in Florida, hell it could be 18! | |
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rjn40
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Joined: 2/15/2004
Msg: 12 | |
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rjn40
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Joined: 2/15/2004
Msg: 14 | |
| Re: Alone and with a choice..
Posted: 5/9/2004 8:13:25 PM | | as long as he doesn't start looking at himself in ten years as sitting on the curb with a 40, then yeah, once or twice is cool | |
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| Re: Alone and with a choice..
Posted: 5/9/2004 8:54:20 PM | as a matter of fact Birdman:
information and helpful hints! Florida's Legal Drinking Age - The legal drinking age in Florida is 21 years of age. There now you know the legal drinking age in Florida!
I'm hoping that he doesn't take your advise! But that is what he was asking for was advise, and what to do in life!....... | |
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| Re: Alone and with a choice..
Posted: 5/9/2004 10:56:39 PM | | Actually I took a several vows not to smoke or drink years ago, otherwise I'd probably be a real stoner and a drunk, part of the reason I vowed not to. And true birdman, advice like that I tend to not take. Thanks for the suggestions everyone and I dont suppose any of you live in florida do you? ^^ | |
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| Re: Alone and with a choice..
Posted: 5/10/2004 1:53:32 PM | | Anybody that asks advice from people that have to use a dating site for dating is a fool. That's like asking a fat person about dieting tips! IT ISN'T GOING TO HELP!!! | |
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| Re: Alone and with a choice..
Posted: 5/10/2004 8:19:01 PM | | It couldn't hurt! By the way I think that you just called the majority of the ppl that post here fools! Everyone is entitled to ask any questions they want! A dating in service is not only limited to just dating, itz also a place to meet, and make some really great friends! | |
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| Re: Alone and with a choice..
Posted: 5/10/2004 8:22:16 PM | | Are most of the people on here looking for dates? Or are they on here to chat, make cyber buddies, or to find prey to have one-night stands. | |
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| Re: Alone and with a choice..
Posted: 5/10/2004 8:29:00 PM | | I would take the statistical approach to that one. If only someone running a dating site could whip up some statistics from peoples profiles. | |
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| Re: Alone and with a choice..
Posted: 5/10/2004 8:34:40 PM | | And if you have check out profiles, you will find that ppl are on here for all kinds of reasons..... | |
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rjn40
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Joined: 2/15/2004
Msg: 23 | |
| Re: Alone and with a choice..
Posted: 5/10/2004 10:42:08 PM | | hmmm... I see it this way. I have asked for advice on here myself, nothing wrong with it, it dont make anyone a fool. The only fools I ever see on here are the ones that cant stand what this site is for and come in here to voice there childish comments twords others that are just here to have fun or relax or maybe even find someone. If you dont like reading what people really have to say, then go to disney.com or something. | |
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| Re: Alone and with a choice..
Posted: 5/11/2004 4:42:13 PM | | I hope you are not directing that at me. And yes, gothic, people come here for all types of reasons. But most are just looking to hook up or to talk to other people. | |
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rjn40
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Joined: 2/15/2004
Msg: 25 | |
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