| a question for the ladies please (serious answers wanted, humerous appreciated)
Posted: 4/17/2005 2:20:17 PM | Ladies,
I would like to know, if you can divulge the secret without violating some woman's club rules, why 85% of the women I meet on-line, no matter what they state in their profile that they are seeking (long-term, intimate, friends, etc), start picking out silverware patterns and setting a date when I can't even remember their last names yet?
Example, I went out with a very nice woman a couple of weeks ago. We met for drinks and then talked for a while. As our food was being served, she started talking about how nice it would be to have a man around the house again; how great it was that she had found someone who was her soulmate; how she liked short engagements...things like that...
Men are expected to bring total honesty to the table in these situations...and I do...and it makes me wonder why women don't do the same.
thanks much in advance for the info...I live to be enlightened... | |
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| a question for the ladies please (serious answers wanted, humerous appreciated)
Posted: 4/18/2005 4:11:07 PM | She's probably lonely.
And then she meets a man on line and it is soooooooooo different from meeting one in a club or at work, etc.
You probably know what I mean. You tend to "give" more of yourself when you are sitting at a keyboard.....you reveal more of your feelings, your thoughts, personal things about you that you probably wouldn't lean across a bar to do. There is more intimacy to it.
I have had a man tell me something on line that just "touches my heart"......for instance, a guy I know whose wife left him and he is missing his little boy......
Or a good friend of mine who when we met on line told me about his girlfriend dying.....
And I don't usually meet a guy right away.....we have usually chatted for awhile first.
Give her a break dear!! | |
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| a question for the ladies please (serious answers wanted, humerous appreciated)
Posted: 4/27/2005 8:28:10 AM | You are right. That lady needs to relax. We are not all like that. I knew my boyfriend for 2 years and then we even lived together. I never mentioned getting married. Of course, I thought about it. Then, just out of the blue, he says we need therapy. We go to therapy and he tells the therapist that he does not want to marry me and wants to date other people.
Most normal women are not trying to get married on the first date. You should just be honest and tell her: "I have to get to know someone first!"
I think 2 or 3 years is enough time to decide to marry or move on...anybody else have an idea? | |
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| a question for the ladies please (serious answers wanted, humerous appreciated)
Posted: 4/29/2005 11:23:49 PM | | Well, you should have asked, for her therapist # No just kidding, maybe shes not good at being alone, a lot of women (men) arent use to running everything by themselves and become overwhelmed. Work full time, raise kids, mow the grass, fix the dishwasher. Its not an easy task and if they are recently seperated/divorced it may all be new to them. | |
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| a question for the ladies please (serious answers wanted, humerous appreciated)
Posted: 5/7/2005 8:07:40 AM | Isn't the idea of dating is to find someone your compatible with, get to know them, and just keep moving forward... friends, lovers .. maybe one day to find that "happy ever after"? Why else would we date? It would be a waste of time for dinner and a movie if all we wanted was a lay.
Maybe she just wanted you to know straight up what she was looking for?
Personally... I won't lie, I am looking for my next "husband, life mate, partner" whatever you want to call him, that is why I am on this site.. that is why I date. It doesn't mean if I discuss such things as "being nice having a man around the house, or short/long engagements" that I myself personally want that person I am discussing those things with. It simply means I am putting myself out there, laying it all out, so that I can get an idea, opinion, or other points of view on the topic at hand.
Women don't know how men work, what they think etc. One good way to find out is to ask, or speak on such things. If I were you I would find it a compliment that she was comfortable enough with you to talk to you about it. I am sure she wasn't willing to walk that isle with you right away. It does take some time to get to know someone, and that was a door opening. She threw it out there....
That was a perfect opportunity at that point for a man to be honest with himself and take a walk.. or better yet RUN, instead of dragging something out for months knowing his agenda is different than hers.  Or stay and be a friend and discuss, toss his cards on the table.
Doesn't mean she wants to marry YOU.
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| a question for the ladies please (serious answers wanted, humerous appreciated)
Posted: 5/7/2005 1:34:43 PM | chubby...I concur. If the only reason to date was to find you next sexual encounter, one would be better off highering a prostitute. At least you know exactly what you'll get.
I belive in the whole idea of dating, courtship and marriage. I also would love to find a new lifelong partner, but in order to find the right person, one must get to know several people. To find out likes, dislikes, religious issues, finacial issues, etc. Dating is a way to have fun with someone while getting to know them better. As two people become more comfortable with one another than they can really see what the future might hold. (marriage, friendship, casual, etc). | |
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| a question for the ladies please (serious answers wanted, humerous appreciated)
Posted: 5/10/2005 6:28:29 AM | | well thats better then I've been getting. Everytime I've gone out recently with people from online it's been "I had a great time! and would love to go out again sometime"... then they disappear from contact or just always have an excuse to not go out. If you're no interested just say, look I'm not interested. I've been there I've done that I know sometimes both people aren't interested I won't get offended if anything it's merciful so I don't have to play the guessing game wether you really are just busy, or just avoiding me. | |
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| a question for the ladies please (serious answers wanted, humerous appreciated)
Posted: 5/15/2005 4:11:51 PM | Well let me try to understand this. First of all I think your percentage is high. I have not read your profile as of yet, but did you state in your profile that you were not looking to get married for awhile. I have been married for a long time and we no longer live together. He is happy and so am I with this arrangment. But I can tell you when I do get divorced I sure don't want to go down that road for a long time if ever. Maybe it's my age than makes me feel this way or just my past experience in life. Just be honest with the lady when you first meet her and tell her what your feelings are on this matter. We women are alot stronger than men give us credit for.
Good luck in you future hunt for the right woman. | |
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| a question for the ladies please (serious answers wanted, humerous appreciated)
Posted: 5/20/2005 4:16:18 PM | Well, That's just plain desperate for ya! Any woman who wants a man she just met to move in with her is just plain crazy... RUN FOR YOUR LIFE... She has probrably had her Profile posted for way too long. She maybe changed it, because she wasen't getting any responses.
But answer me this... How come when a woman makes a profile that states thet she is looking for another woman... And she is being completely honest in her profile, a whole bunch of dudes respond with "I really like your profile" as if they didnt even read it? | |
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| a question for the ladies please (serious answers wanted, humerous appreciated)
Posted: 6/8/2005 10:00:57 PM | Bravo. Well said. If you say you are going to call, then please do. Don't make lame excuses.
I am an honest person and sometimes too dang nice for most.
Why do men take a woman being nice to them as if, I want to be hitched for life ?
I have g.friends that are down right mean women and men flock to them like flies.
What is that all about ?
There are alot of good women out there that men are missing out on.
And guys i'm sure our feelings have been hurt before. DOn't let it linger. If only interested
in getting that belt notched, don't bother a girl when she says No. She means No.
So be honest and let her know things aren't perfect before you kiss her good-nite or worse off tell her good morning..gotta run..Thats BS. We all know it.
Guys there are great women out there that want to have fun and not get married but are lonely and enjoy the company of a gentleman. So be honest and do the right thing by all of us single ladies out there...See above....
Thanks for reading......curious about my opinion ? plz leave a message and i'll call you back at my earliest convenience, hehehehehe  | |
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| a question for the ladies please (serious answers wanted, humerous appreciated)
Posted: 6/10/2005 8:27:32 AM | Well here is my take on that. I think that most women consider themselves incomplete without a man, correction I know that most women consider themselves incomplete without a man. It is a sad truth but it is the truth. I have friends that will stay in bad relationships because "at least they are in a relationship". Women are made to take care of people, that's just how we are put together. Someone needs to send a bulletin to all these desperate women that number 1) that is a very unattractive quality in a woman and 2) women don't need a man to be complete. If the women would complete themselves they would see that.
Well it isn't funny but it is my truth...hope it helps. | |
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| a question for the ladies please (serious answers wanted, humerous appreciated)
Posted: 6/18/2005 8:23:26 PM | | sometimes a woman does not feel conplete without a man in her life. just make sure you are not giving mixed signals and stay up front with them.you should have said [whoa] i am not looking to get married right now. but i agree with you if i met a man who started talking like that i would take off down the road also.hope it works out for you just stay honest and up front. | |
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| a question for the ladies please (serious answers wanted, humerous appreciated)
Posted: 6/19/2005 7:17:23 AM | | My Last B/F I meet on the internet...we dated for 5yrs...he was the one that actted like that...all talking about growing old together and sh*t....it scared the crap outta me so I know how you feel....be up front with her and tell her that you are just wanting to be friends first....take it slow...if shes a honest person she will tell you how she feels and always appreciate what she has to say good or bad...but if she is making you uncomfortable you have to be real wit her...You cant play along or answer her questions cause you want to be nice...There is a theshold on things like that....be real wit her...Good Luck! But I know what you mean I was right there wit ya...just be honest wit her....if shes coo she will understand and respect you whatever you have to say.... | |
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| a question for the ladies please (serious answers wanted, humerous appreciated)
Posted: 6/19/2005 9:43:38 AM | | jez there are so many ways that questiona nd answer could go..i wouldnt panic to much on it though,,maybe shes just letting you know what she wants,,maybe she just said it to actually scare you off on purpose,,at the risk of sounding hostile men arent theonly ones taht can play games,,lol..yo ueither liked her company or you didnt if you did talk to her about it if not dont talk to her ,,i dont think shes ready to be commited to a ward anywhere.im a blunt honest person im actually looking for my soul mate if taht even exsist,im up front i know what i want but i dont know what he is,,somone can handle that or they cant and if they cant handle taht lil bit of bluntness keep walkin coz it gets worse..lol..dont read so much into what somone says trying to disect everything is a waste of time ,,live life and enjoy | |
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| a question for the ladies please (serious answers wanted, humerous appreciated)
Posted: 6/25/2005 7:34:56 AM | | hi, i think alot of ladies want a quick husband, not a long term relationship, i would give anything to be able to get to know someone way before the talk of where is it going from here on the first date? some of us ladies really are looking for that someone to spend the rest of our lives with but how can we spend the rest of our lives withsome we dont really know, if you understand what i mean | |
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| a question for the ladies please (serious answers wanted, humerous appreciated)
Posted: 6/25/2005 8:48:45 AM | No batteries, dear?
In case you haven't noticed, Dating SUCKS! You search for someone (anyone) you can stand to sit beside without wanting to throw something at them. It's not easy!
After a few hundred dates you just can't stand another one, but you keep going because there just HAS to be someone out there, somewhere. If there isn't it's all been a lie.
So you find someone who doesn't make you want to barf. He's clean, makes sense, is warm and comfortable. Hell, grab him and try to hold on!
OK, there's the humor, but note, there's truth in humor. The other part of it is that there are men out there like that too. I'll admit, there aren't as many men as women who grab on and won't let go, but they're out there. I know, I've married two of them because I felt sorry for them. Whatever you do, don't marry a person like that! You'll be miserable, even if you do feel saintly for all the good you've done for another.
My suggestion with a person like that: Try doing things friends do and try very hard not to cross the line. Maybe your friendship will help that person not be as lonely and make them realize they don't need a clingy relationship to validate their life.
That's it from "Dear Granraven" for today Be good and enjoy life! | |
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| a question for the ladies please (serious answers wanted, humerous appreciated)
Posted: 6/28/2005 9:53:38 AM | well its apparently somthing you are pickin in these women if you are always getting that,,,,
all of us arent like that,,well at least im not..the first thing i look to see is if i can be me and it be appreciated unconditionally,,if im attracted to them,,if they would be a friend,,,my idea of along term relationship rarely matches others concept of it,,,i can meet you slap you on teh ass send yo udown the road if your good ill call yo u back,,,dont assume coz i call yo back im lookin for you to stay..noone really has to guess what im thinking or where i wanna go or what my intentions are with you...lol..but i always meet guys taht wanna play games or bullshit,,,thats a oneway ticket,,i was married for 16 years, divorced raised three teenagers on my own remarried for unconventional reasons,,,im 38 why do guys try women that are over thirty we arent as stupid as you think,,,, | |
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suzzq
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Joined: 7/2/2005
Msg: 25 | |
| a question for the ladies please (serious answers wanted, humerous appreciated)
Posted: 7/10/2005 5:18:41 PM | | Well.. I know there are alot of women out there that are ready to settle down.. no one really knows someone when they first meet ( in person no matter how many times they talk or email) some one that quick to be ready for the next step seems a bit scary to me.. I wasnt there and have no idea why she thought that but please do NOT judge most woment by this experience , and it infuriates me that woment do that. men are scared enough by our mysterious female health issues to scare them off with the thought of having to face a stalker.and to think most women are like that.. we arnt.. btw.. . lolo.. there are many many secure women out there not ready to pick out china till at least the third date!!! ( kidding.. you can breathe now) lol but to tell ya.. when a man thinks he has found HER.. alot do the same thing .. and usually results in a restraining order.. ( hehe I made another funny ) lolol dont get discouraged.. I look at it like this.. one step at a time and when that person sneaks up on you , you will know it and it will be good.. lolol | |
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