Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Why are guys always looking for the next best thing?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 meyoutwo
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 1
Why are guys always looking for the next best thing?Page 1 of 1    
I have dated guys from here and while dating i put my site on hidden or delete it all together but they dont why is that. a friend of mine said its because its addicting? or am i just finding all the players who are holding onto me until something better comes along?
I dont know maybe i am wrong but i have got some of them in the act of still being on here even asking girls out on dates ( one guy went on pof while he was at my place ) password saved i checked it out yeh thats bad and i shouldnt have done and i have never done it before but i felt something was going and im glad i did it stopped alot of heartache that would have happened if i had kept on dating him because i was really falling for him anyways if you have any help that would be great guys i know your not all bad i have just been unlucky
 psssst
Joined: 2/8/2006
Msg: 2
Why are guys always looking for the next best thing?
Posted: 3/4/2007 2:45:51 PM
Well... for starters, there are many, many gentlemen on this site that are serious about finding someone for a monogamous, long-term relationship.

I would find it suspect if they didn't delete their profile, or... if they are a regular forum participant... if they didn't ammend their profile to indicate that they are not available.

I think your first clue should have been that they were still logging onto the site to respond to mail with a profile that didn't clearly indicate they were officially off the market... if they wanted to continue corresponding with friends... there's always off-site messenger systems that they could have used...

Like anywhere else... this is still buyer beware... and now that you are learning the signs to watch for... you can move forward with a better understanding of how this works...

Regards...
 Malanie
Joined: 2/6/2007
Msg: 3
Why are guys always looking for the next best thing?
Posted: 3/4/2007 2:49:00 PM
I have to agree. I have had the same problems.. I have adjusted my profile hoping to get the unwanted ones away... But really you just never know.. I have just gotting better boundries with people. Changed how I was doing things and moved on to the next... I just chaulk it up to a learning lesson myself.. I personal am not giving up.. Just changing what I do...
 meyoutwo
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 4
Why are guys always looking for the next best thing?
Posted: 3/4/2007 2:50:34 PM
thanks psssst but the guy im with says he is just signing on to talk to friends that are long distance an such am i being gullible ? or should i tell this one get off pof or put yourself as unavailable or forget us?
 meyoutwo
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 5
Why are guys always looking for the next best thing?
Posted: 3/4/2007 2:51:17 PM
thank you malanie
 Understandable_Gibberish
Joined: 12/12/2006
Msg: 6
Why are guys always looking for the next best thing?
Posted: 3/4/2007 2:53:03 PM
They do it because they aren't interested, in you, at the same level as you are interested in them, and they don't see any reason to take their line in the water, because they may miss attracting someone they really want.

The addictions here are for forums or for dating or, maybe, sex... A forum addiction can be cured, or at least sated, without a visible profile. The dating addiction requires the profile be seen... it is the advertisement for dating, after all... If you are dating someone from here and they leave their profile up? Rest assured they are looking for someone better than you.

Advice? Don't take your profile down, unless, you agree to do so together. Refusal to do so, by either party, tells you the relationship is temporary, in their eyes.

I'm outa smokes... yeah, I know, it's a disgusting habit... down to 4 or 5 a day though...

Just sayin'...
 CloneAlone
Joined: 7/8/2006
Msg: 7
view profile
History
Why are guys always looking for the next best thing?
Posted: 3/4/2007 2:54:05 PM
Sorry, I missed the part of your post where you had the conversation that went something like, "I know we met online on a singles site and we were both trying to meet people and you may have had several interests just like I did, but I'd like to be exclusive with you now".

Didn't have that conversation?
Houston, we have found the problem!!

I do agree though that it is pretty cheesy for the guy to access POF while at your place.

Clone
 psssst
Joined: 2/8/2006
Msg: 8
Why are guys always looking for the next best thing?
Posted: 3/4/2007 2:58:22 PM

the guy im with says he is just signing on to talk to friends that are long distance
That can be done via yahoo or msn messenger... using a program that is designed to not have him 'out there' contacting new people.


or should i tell this one get off pof or put yourself as unavailable or forget us?
Although I can't tell you what you should do... *you really should form your own opinion and make your own decision concerning this*... if it were me. I would ask him why he hasn't updated his profile... in a non-confrontational tone. Chances are the reason would be quite lame... and I'd have no issue walking away from him. If you chose to ask him to delete his profile... who is to say that he wouldn't just create another one? If you have to ask... then there's a huge issue there as well...

I do wish you the best...
 drg1301
Joined: 12/20/2006
Msg: 9
Why are gals always looking for the next best thing?
Posted: 3/4/2007 3:14:05 PM
I don't lnow. Why are gals always looking for the next best thing?
 Ryan832
Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 10
Why are guys always looking for the next best thing?
Posted: 3/4/2007 3:20:18 PM
If you know that they are still looking, you should just move on. You are not their "dream girl" and you never will be. It is hit and miss for everyone.
 Name_Taken
Joined: 1/24/2007
Msg: 11
Why are guys always looking for the next best thing?
Posted: 3/4/2007 3:28:23 PM
As 1 man's input, POF is very addicting and it is tough for me to stay away from it out of sheer curiosity. In all honesty though, if I meet a woman with who I get along really well, I naturally avoid coming back to POF in general out of sincere interest in getting to know her.

That being said, I get an above average amount of email which of course I do my best to answer which is one reason I would log in even during getting to know someone. I can take some good tips about using the hide features myself.

At the end of the day, online dating is a very comparative and almost speed dating way of testing the interest level of potential partners and in ways is highly unfair since it does come with a significant "grass is always greener" element. Even to sincere men it's a challenge to not always "wonder" if there is someone better that might be interested in us.

From the women that I meet and talk with who DO meet men on POF, the good ones will in fact hide themselves during an initial stage of getting to know them out of courtesy and respect.
 TienLong
Joined: 3/18/2004
Msg: 12
view profile
History
Why are guys always looking for the next best thing?
Posted: 3/5/2007 6:06:49 AM
Are you kidding? I'm hoping for the day I can retire this thing lol. Alas I am pretty much on here for the forums at this point, I'm not sure it's even possible to meet someone on here. I think if you are together and have ahd the "exclusivity talk" that it is perfectly reasonable to expect them to retire the ole profile. Or at least state somewhere on the profile that he is no longer looking as I have seen on many here. Chin up kid, not all of us are constantly on the make for a new bird. In my last relationship we each had a profile on another site and we deleted them together when we decided we were it. It was a bonding experience lol.
 melobnxs
Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 13
Why are guys always looking for the next best thing?
Posted: 3/5/2007 11:19:26 AM
tell him to get off.............. he is still looking.
 Taz Manian Devil
Joined: 2/16/2007
Msg: 14
Why are guys always looking for the next best thing?
Posted: 3/5/2007 11:28:24 AM
I have to agree with the others here. This man isn't interested in having anything more with you.
 Jameseroo
Joined: 8/2/2006
Msg: 15
Why are guys always looking for the next best thing?
Posted: 3/5/2007 11:43:55 AM
Men and woman are both equally guilty of "looking for the next best thing" I am sure. I am not saying that everyone does it, rather, it is not isolated to a specific gender.

As to -why- it is done?

I would imagine it boils-down to a few key behavioural characteristics, the most immediate being insecurity.

Insecurity can lead to the "need" to be in -any- relationship while looking for something that feels like a "better fit". I could however be wrong ..

_james_
 prolibertate
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 16
view profile
History
Why are guys always looking for the next best thing?
Posted: 3/5/2007 11:52:42 AM
lorili - you can't expect everyone you go on a date with to hide their profile simply because they went on a date with you...If you're dating someone and you two have decided to become exclusive, then yes, both of you should take down your profiles...but until that point, you're both still free to date anyone you want to.
 johnnydepp88
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 17
Why are guys always looking for the next best thing?
Posted: 3/5/2007 12:20:16 PM
wrong...women are always looking for the next best thing, men will take anything! haha
 Roamingsiris
Joined: 7/8/2006
Msg: 18
view profile
History
Why are guys always looking for the next best thing?
Posted: 3/6/2007 10:34:12 AM
When I find the right one, this profile is long gone.

Trouble is, I just might have. Now I get to wait and see.

2 more days
2 more days


Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Why are guys always looking for the next best thing?