| Is there an appropriate way to handle a woman who calls
Posted: 3/8/2007 6:57:31 PM | and calls often but is never available to hang out? I'm not the brightest bulb in
the circuit but this sucks. I'm just not going to call her back. I'm not a chatter
unless it's in real life. What would you do if a guy you liked called you often
but wasn't available to see you in person?  | |
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| Is there an appropriate way to handle a woman who calls
Posted: 3/8/2007 8:16:11 PM | When the guy seems to only be available on line or on the phone, I just quit responding.
I don't have time for that. I want to meet REAL people. May turn into nothing, but never gonna find out if we don't actually meet. | |
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| Is there an appropriate way to handle a woman who calls
Posted: 3/8/2007 9:02:59 PM | | Depends on why she's not available to meet in person and what you're looking for. If you're looking for something long term, then you will eventually have to meet face to face. If you're just looking for people to talk to, and you don't mind not being able to talk in person then don't worry about it. Also, is she not available because she's seeing someone? Or is it just because she has a very busy life at the moment ad might have more time in a few months. There's too many variables here to know what advice I can give you. | |
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dgame
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Joined: 3/3/2007
Msg: 5 | |
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| Is there an appropriate way to handle a woman who calls
Posted: 3/8/2007 9:08:50 PM | id cease communications with him i guess.
if i was looking to hang out with someone or date them then you can only take so much chit chat on the phone.
lay down your intentions and let them choose their path. | |
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| Is there an appropriate way to handle a woman who calls
Posted: 3/9/2007 6:18:10 AM | There is definitely a problem...
Even someone is quite busy, going out for a coffee for half a hour does not take much time...
She's probably not that much interested. Also, she might be just using you as a "boyfriend to tell her full day".
Have you seen her a few times then she uses the "too busy" excuse to see you again?
Note, some girls are not interested but will not let go... I mean, if you keep reply to there online chat, email, or in your case phone (me it is usually with email/chat that this happens), they will continue. This is actually not that rare, it happened to me several times.
I think they are scared of being alone so they want to keep you as a "backup" or "chat only person".
If you don't answer her call, what happens? If you don't answer twice in a row?
Be careful not to waste too much time with people that give the excuse "too busy" too often. | |
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| Is there an appropriate way to handle a woman who calls
Posted: 3/9/2007 6:29:33 AM | | Move on. I do it all the time. It's a waste of my time to spend weeks emailing or chatting on the phone with someone I may not even click with in person....or who may be married or lying about the way they look, age, etc. | |
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| Is there an appropriate way to handle a woman who calls
Posted: 3/9/2007 7:12:52 AM | yeah i think it's a serious red flag. I've come across a handful of men over the years of online dating who I got along great with online and on phone but then when it came down to ''hey let's meet in person'' they rattled off some excuse. I think they are married or lying about something. I also think they could have an addiction such as drinking or drugs that they dont want another person to get involved with. Some of these guys spend all night online, like they never log off and I do think there is definitely something wrong there.
tell her you don't like where this is heading which is no where...block her number and move on | |
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| Is there an appropriate way to handle a woman who calls
Posted: 3/9/2007 5:05:59 PM | I am one of those busy women. How about this? She really does have a lot on her plate. I have 3 jobs, and 3 kids, a mortgage, a car payment, and a school loan. I'm single- no other adult in the house (although my kids are all teens now). But- I still find time to make friends IN PERSON. I just don't get to hang out with all of them all of the time. I even juggle my female friends because they don't always get along with each other all of the time.
My point is this- she might actually like you, but she just has a lot on her plate and her schedule is filled up in most places. I have been on several dates in the last few months because he was willing to meet me for lunch near where I work. Or he is willing to go out on a weeknight for a few hours to meet- weekends are harder for me to give to anyone. Are you asking her to meet you only when it's convenient for you? Or are you leaving her the option of setting the time? | |
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| Is there an appropriate way to handle a woman who calls
Posted: 3/18/2007 7:15:25 PM | | You didn't pay attention to what I said.. I said I meet people in person. I just don't have a flexible schedule to meet whenever they want. I asked you, did you let her have the option of setting a time to meet? Or are you less flexible with your time as well? | |
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| Is there an appropriate way to handle a woman who calls
Posted: 3/18/2007 7:27:05 PM | My thoughts as well Sinkist....
OP....how many times are we talking here.....2-3/ 4-5/ 10+ ?
Sometimes the stars just don't end up aligning and
never the twain shall meet.
When it starts to annoy you, tell her. If the situation doesn't change.....
then change the situation until you yourself are satisfied.
KK | |
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| Is there an appropriate way to handle a woman who calls
Posted: 3/18/2007 7:31:10 PM | Just been through this crap. I was getting calls from a guy a year ago, and in EVERY call he wanted us to meet up. I agreed. We made 3 dates and all 3 times he cancelled at the last minute.
Fastforward to now......We are in touch again. Calls constantly, I wanna go on a date with you, I can't forget you rah rah rah. Ok date arranged for Saturday evening. On Saturday afternoon, I get THE call (funny thing is I was expecting it!), he can't make it.
I pick up MY phone and text him NOT to phone or text me ever again.
It's a game I'm not interested in playing. | |
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| Is there an appropriate way to handle a woman who calls
Posted: 3/18/2007 8:47:05 PM | | that happened to me with a guy. We talked constantly. I found out later on, one time he was talking to me as he was walking out of anohter girls house that lived not far from me! Now I figure.. if it was important enough to him... he would move heaven and earth to see me.. if all I get is a easy to make phone call.. then he is not that into me | |
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| Is there an appropriate way to handle a woman who calls
Posted: 3/19/2007 3:36:40 PM | I would stop taking her calls.
I think there are a lot of bored people out there just using their pc's and phones to entertain themselves. Same with people who IM you and then talk about the weather.
They're just bored and I find them boring - so I disconnect. | |
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| Is there an appropriate way to handle a woman who calls
Posted: 3/19/2007 7:13:54 PM | So now wait - you're going to stop talking to her because you want to meet her in person and she just wants to be your friend ...?
Man, you must be rich - because I can't think of anyone in the world who needs anything more than a good friend.
You know, I'm sorry if you want to date her or 'be with her' in a relationship sense and she's just your phone buddy.
I have one of those; he lives 1800 miles away, so granted meeting in person isn't an option - but he is my best friend. We talk everyday. He is my lifeline, my only claim to sanity, and the kindest, most wonderful person I know (even if he is insanely strong-willed, but thats my opinion).
My life is enriched with knowing this person and having them in it.
If you can't say the same for your 'lady friend' then I suggest you tell her she isn't much of a friend and move on. But if your only complaint is that you never get to see her face to face ... maybe you should count your blessings instead of being upset that she isn't everything you want her to be (at least, in YOUR life)?
Wishing you good fishing!
~Mai
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