| Should a preacher meet tougher standards?
Posted: 3/9/2007 1:00:01 PM | | I've had four dates with a preacher. Last Sunday I visited the church where he preaches (uninvited), he pretended he didn't know me, like I was just another visitor. Then today he tells me he really just wants a FWB. His profile says "long term", he says it means he wants a FWB he can have for 6 months or more. He says he wants to keep his church life and personal life separate. It seems like he is acting like a typical jerk. Should a preacher be acting this way? | |
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| Should a preacher meet tougher standards?
Posted: 3/9/2007 1:03:47 PM | Firstly what do you mean tougher standards? That should not be a standard but a requirement. How can you even think to date a liar is beyond me . But that's another story.
As far as I'm concerned, religious people are the most hypocritical people. No wonder, I stay as far away from them as I can.
Wonder what his "God" thinks of his actions. And wonder whether he will go to "heaven" or "hell" for it.
Oh wait....there is always that sunday morning "confession". Yea .......sorry forgot about that.
No person should be acting that way. Much less a preacher. Why are you dating him anyway? I'd run away as fast as I can. Oh wait....I would not be with him in the first place. Nevermind.....carry on. Just don't be surprised if he ends up being a child molestor too. | |
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| Should a preacher meet tougher standards?
Posted: 3/9/2007 1:15:02 PM | valencia~s far as I'm concerned, religious people are the most hypocritical people. No wonder, I stay as far away from them as I can.
Hyprocrites come in all religions*, not just Christian. *Including Atheism, which I consider to be its own religion, even my own beloved brother-in-law, who is a hardcore Atheist.
I also ask "why are you dating him"? He does sound like a hypocritical jerk.
As a Christian, I could tell you, YES, preachers are to be held to a higher standard. Just look at Titus 3. A real mind-twister though will say how that Scripture really does not mean blah blah blah. And you will never win the Scripture says battle...with somebody who does not even honor it...this guy (that you are dating). I have tried that route with some...I give up on that now unless the person really is trying hard to do what the Good Book tells him/her, when they are stumbling.
Christians are suppose to leave ALL areas of our lives open to God. While it is good to not air all your dirty laundry to all (like some celebrities enjoy doing)...it is a good idea to be accountable for your actions.
The biggest causer of Atheisms are *& like this one (the guy you are dating). God save us from these type of creeps.
(and get back on POF and find yourself a good man!  )
FWB I think is a sex buddy (I am not always up on these type of acronyms)...and I think he is not acting very proper, to say the least, to you...and not taking Scripture seriously aobut pre-marital sex. I believe it says to keep sex for marriage which is what I practice...celibacy. This guy should be too IMHO. Best of luck to you. | |
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| Should a preacher meet tougher standards?
Posted: 3/9/2007 1:17:11 PM | "Hyprocrites come in all religions*, not just Christian."
Excuse me? I don't recall saying Christian. You assumed it. Ofcourse all religious fanatics are morons. I never disagreed with that one.
I despise religious fanatics( that includes every religion in the world) in general not just Christians.
But in general, they are hypocritical.
VVVVVVVVV
I can't bring myself to despise you because you seem like you practice what you preach. You seem like a fair religious person. Good for you. Sadly, not all people are like you, Danishsweetbread. There are many religious people that are fanatics and hypocrites and I really do despise them.
Edit: I'm not angry. Or maybe I am subconsciously. Who knows. It's just that religious fanaticism has been the cause of so much pain and suffering in the world that it's hard not to despise the fanatics. | |
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| Should a preacher meet tougher standards?
Posted: 3/9/2007 1:19:58 PM | You come across here in this thread like a very angry person. Sorry I misunderstood that. You meant ALL religions. My bad.
You must depise quite a few people in the world, including me*, who you never have met. The world is chock full of religious types.
Forebearance is a virture.
*Hey, I just read this edit..."Danishsweetbread, you seem like a fair religious person though." or maybe you had put that and I overlooked it. Thx! :glow:
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| Should a preacher meet tougher standards?
Posted: 3/9/2007 1:20:26 PM | I'd bet my paid for snowmobile he's a Baptist.
Umm hmm.
The leader of our youth group in high school married one of the GA's.
Yup.
And people wonder why I converted.
Fry | |
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| Should a preacher meet tougher standards?
Posted: 3/9/2007 1:32:27 PM | Regarding the basic question of his preference for a FWB, I'd have to ask what denomination of what religion? It's quite possible that he's in one of the more open minded subsets such as the United Church. As such, his personal and religious values may not contradict having a FWB.
And if he truly wants that type of relationship, it is reasonable to have some known constraints on it. It would also have been reasonable for him to have told you what they were earlier.
That said, no religion that I'm aware of is particularly keen on lying, which is what he is essentially doing. And if he is a fundamentalist of some sort that is just looking to have hidden woman on the side to throw his leg over, yeah, he's being a jerk.
Cheers,
Mike (unsure why anyone would want to date a preacher anyway, but that's a different question) | |
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| Should a preacher meet tougher standards?
Posted: 3/9/2007 1:39:14 PM | valencia~ - I can't bring myself to despise you because you seem like you practice what you preach. You seem like a fair religious person. Good for you. Sadly, not all people are like you, Danishsweetbread. There are many religious people that are fanatics and hypocrites and I really do despise them.
That is the sweetest thing i have read in a long time. Thank you. I did not become a born-again Christian till I was close to 30 and I am 39 since I was put off by Pharisee types, like the legalistic guys that picked on Jesus in his day. There are also those who I call Cafeteria Christians...they put on there lunch trays only the parts of Christianity that they agree with.
The hard part is to fight everyday not to be too extreme...legalistic or Cafeteria type.
And to try to love but be authentic. I think our generation today is hungry to see truth in action. | |
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| Should a preacher meet tougher standards?
Posted: 3/9/2007 1:41:08 PM | Of course a preacher [teacher] should be held to higher standards. It is even in the Word they teach from, the Bible:
Not many [of you] should become teachers (self-constituted censors and reprovers of others), my brethren, for you know that we [teachers] will be judged by a higher standared and with greater severity [than other people; thus we assume the greater accountability and the more condemnation]. James 3:1 The Amplified Bible.
It may or may not do any good, but if you feel safe you should go to the leaders of his denomination and report him. | |
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Seir
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Joined: 2/19/2007
Msg: 11 | |
| Should a preacher meet tougher standards?
Posted: 3/9/2007 1:44:57 PM | Should preachers meet tougher standards?..Yep.
Do they?...wait till we're all at the end and find out.
If you are going to assume the mantle of `teacher` (which, basically, is all preachers are, per se, only of religious dealings)...you have to be able to live up to what you're preaching, period.
Walk the walk, talk the talk. Don't talk the walk and be a typical human and bugger off to your own thing afterwards. | |
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| Should a preacher meet tougher standards?
Posted: 3/9/2007 2:07:18 PM | | I think christian scripture also says something about that the one to whom authority is given has more responsibility or maybe it's the one that says something about whoever can't be trusted with the least can't be trusted with the most, or something along those lines, but it sounds like Mr. Preacher-Stud is more interested in the "and lo, he came to know her" parts, and when he talks about the "body rising", watch out, I don't think he means the resurrection. | |
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| Should a preacher meet tougher standards?
Posted: 3/9/2007 2:09:14 PM | | Well, I suppose it depends on 'what' he's preaching and which religion he's preaching for. I spent 12 years in Catholic school, and I can say that if this guy was a Catholic Preacher? No, he clearly shouldn't be acting this way. | |
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| Should a preacher meet tougher standards?
Posted: 3/9/2007 2:11:31 PM |
Should a preacher meet tougher standards?
No. Same standards for all. But he's more likely to be a hypocrite.... if he doesn't live up to the particular ones he preaches. | |
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| Should a preacher meet tougher standards?
Posted: 3/9/2007 2:42:21 PM |
creativeguy- I think christian scripture also says something about that the one to whom authority is given has more responsibility or maybe it's the one that says something about whoever can't be trusted with the least can't be trusted with the most, or something along those lines, but it sounds like Mr. Preacher-Stud is more interested in the "and lo, he came to know her" parts, and when he talks about the "body rising", watch out, I don't think he means the resurrection.
He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much: and he that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much. - Luke 16:10 KJV talks about money but the Scripture pertains to all things, not just money.
LOL about your resurrection - body rising portion...oooo you're bad!  | |
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Tramp
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Joined: 2/8/2007
Msg: 16 | |
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| Should a preacher meet tougher standards?
Posted: 3/9/2007 3:35:55 PM | I would expect total honesty from a minister, if he is hiding a relationship , perhaps he"s ashamed of it.........approach with caution. | |
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| Should a preacher meet tougher standards?
Posted: 3/9/2007 3:42:57 PM | Yeah, he should live up to tougher standards.
Not only is he maintaining a false front so that he is looked up to by the rest of his congregation but he's perpetuating the standards by which other female members of his congregation will be judged by the other men.
Simply put, in his sermon's you just aren't good enough to get married for example unless you repent yada, yada. | |
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| Should a preacher meet tougher standards?
Posted: 3/9/2007 3:51:59 PM | I have to agree with the following post:
Regarding the basic question of his preference for a FWB, I'd have to ask what denomination of what religion? It's quite possible that he's in one of the more open minded subsets such as the United Church. As such, his personal and religious values may not contradict having a FWB.
First find out if he remains true to his beliefs, then decide whether it is a truth you can follow. Ultimately it is you who has to decide if this works for you. | |
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| Should a preacher meet tougher standards?
Posted: 3/9/2007 3:59:50 PM | | He sounds like he is being honest with you. He would want a 6 month FWB relationship. My guess is he sees you in that light, which will work while he continues looking for the longer term. Showing up at his workplace unannounced could be a nice surprise, or weird. I have to assume he was being a jerk in how he spoke with you or something else, because you describe nothing here that shows him being a jerk, that I can see. As for you, down on religion and quick to judge, and wind up calling him names and speaking in hateful terms. Maybe just blowing off steam, or maybe some hostility underneath it. Do you think you are looking for a man to love or one to criticize? Just asking, innocent that I am. | |
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| Should a preacher meet tougher standards?
Posted: 3/9/2007 8:43:44 PM | OMG lane splitter, how did you you come to the conclusion that he was being honest with her? Reading the OP's post, it is obvious that he had not told her that he felt "long term" meant FWB until AFTER she showed up uninvited.
"I've had four dates with a preacher. Last Sunday I visited the church where he preaches (uninvited), he pretended he didn't know me, like I was just another visitor. Then today he tells me he really just wants a FWB."
Not only that, but where did you get the idea that he meant that he was wanting a 6 month FWB while looking for long term? That is not what she said he told her TODAY.
"His profile says "long term", he says it means he wants a FWB he can have for 6 months or more".
Looking at the OP's profile it says she is Baptist. I don't see anywhere in her post that she was down on religion. If anything she had hopes this man was sincere until his little confession. Something tells me she was looking for someone to love.
A couple of people have rightfully pointed out that it is possible that he is of a more "open" sect that may allow for someone to have a FWB situation. If that were so, he should have been upfront about it. | |
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| Should a preacher meet tougher standards?
Posted: 3/9/2007 8:51:39 PM | The dood who calls himself a "preacher"
in this case is a fraud.
He's using it as a tool for social appearances only.
Should a preacher be acting this way?
He's doing a great disservice,
to whichever faith he's pretending to be. | |
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| Should a preacher meet tougher standards?
Posted: 3/9/2007 9:02:58 PM | He says he wants to keep his church life and personal life separate.
According to the tenets of Christianity (I assume that he is a Christian preacher), he can't really keep his "church" and "personal" lives separate. Leaders have certain qualifications that they must possess, including having only one wife and not given to heavy drinking, among other stipulations.
He is using you and using god to validate his use. A user by any other name is still a user.
He sounds like he is being honest with you.
Regardless of his "honesty," he is a hypocrite. A hypocrite by any other name is still a hypocrite. He is still lying.
BESIDES, in Christianity, ANY sex outside of marriage is a sin. If he wants a FWB, he is not only a user, a hypocrite, a liar, he is breaking the rules of his own religion.
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| Should a preacher meet tougher standards?
Posted: 3/9/2007 9:07:48 PM | I think he should be held to the same standards that we all should try to attain: Not to be a lying a$$hat.
Mr. Preacherman misrepresented his intentions. "Long term relationship" means you're f*ck buddies for at least six months? Ummmm, yeah. The OP is lucky she didn't have to witness his interpretation of the sermon on the mount.
May his "rod" and his staff infections comfort him. | |
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