| Would you want to know.....
Posted: 3/10/2007 9:04:19 PM | ....If someone you were dating had a serious relationship previously and had children.. then decided not to be apart of there childs life anymore?
I personally would want to know becuase I think it says ALOT about what type of person he/she is | |
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| Would you want to know.....
Posted: 3/10/2007 9:11:04 PM | | i have a little gurl and it would kill me if i couldnt see her and i was with someone who wanted nothing to do with there child i dont think i could be with them | |
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| Would you want to know.....
Posted: 3/10/2007 9:40:17 PM | | Yes, I would want to know, because if a mother can abandon their child, she better have a damn good reason for it, because if she can do that, then she can abandon anyone. | |
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| Would you want to know.....
Posted: 3/10/2007 9:41:45 PM | | Yes I would want to know. That sort of thing tells you a lot about a person. Most of it not good. The same would go for both genders. | |
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| Would you want to know.....
Posted: 3/11/2007 12:00:44 AM | Ummmm...wouldn't you be aware they have children if you are dating them? What I mean is, if you have been dating someone you obviously have had conversations about family etc. And in there somewhere they have told you that they have children from a previous relationship, but don't keep in contact with them.
I would have no respect for someone who shunned their children, unless they had a very, very, very, very, very, very good reason why. | |
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| Would you want to know.....
Posted: 3/11/2007 12:12:16 AM | | yes I would want to know...no contact means that there would be a reason behind it either their character or could be something to do with a criminal offense...would tell me that I wouldn't want my children around them...(except for certain circumstances I guess but none can come to my mind right now) | |
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| Would you want to know.....
Posted: 3/11/2007 12:47:52 AM | yup!
I'd wanna know - hope they'd tell you - and hang their head in shame while telling ...
of course, I'd listen to why (???)
but they're in a pretty deep hole to start, so I'd be skeptical and listen closely.
they might have different 'values' than I do ...
luck to you | |
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| Would you want to know.....
Posted: 3/11/2007 1:23:40 AM | Ok then...
If you were in a serious relationship with someone and found out they had a child they never told you about and never saw would you still persue the relationship? | |
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| Would you want to know.....
Posted: 3/11/2007 3:32:06 AM | | Yeah, i exactly agree about how a "dead-beat" parent handles responsibility, nothing I hate most than a parent who does not take care of their kids. | |
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| Would you want to know.....
Posted: 3/11/2007 3:32:25 AM | | If I were married and my wife cheated after we'd had a child I would leave her and forget the child. Till death do us part is serious bisuness. Or I might take the kid. If she were as good a mom as I'd be a dad it would be better for the kid. What if I were your father? I never cheated on your mom? You love her? etc etc. I'd say give the guy a chance. If he is a predator you'll sense it soon enough. | |
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| Would you want to know.....
Posted: 3/11/2007 3:42:26 AM | 1seximami;
I wasn't sure how to break this to you ... but, I guess it's time you knew ... so, I'll just come out and say it.
I'm your Daddy.
please, forgive me baby-girl | |
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| Would you want to know.....
Posted: 3/11/2007 4:33:50 AM | Yes, I would want to know.
I would also want to know, why that child was not a part of the persons life.
If I had been with this person for some time and the information was not
given for a long time, I would not like it.
I would have to wonder what other information about this person I do not
know.
Something like that should be talked about in the beginning of a relationship.
I can not think of any good reasons why that person did not fit into their life
a child they helped to create.
So yes, it would make a huge difference in how I felt about that person.
I could not be with someone that abandoned their responsibilities and their child. | |
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| Would you want to know.....
Posted: 3/11/2007 4:51:29 AM | 1seximami;
I guess your gonna hit me up for some back $$$ allowance owed you ... fair nuff.
==========================
But in all seriousness 1seximami ... Yes, best to know about these things in advance if they do indeed exist. On the face of it, it would seem to suggest a person of having poor moral character ... or a least, poor judgment.
But one can never know for certain until this information is revealed and the circumstances surrounding it become know to you.
There's no doubt though (if only told after well into the relationship) that this revelation would muddy up some water.
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| Would you want to know.....
Posted: 3/11/2007 5:33:58 AM | Sometimes it's better for the child. For example, if the children are very young they will adapt to the new situation as they will still have their main caregiver.
Let's say a couple split and the mother has custody. She enters another relationship. The new guy takes on the father role. The EX is bitter and his "concern" over his child is nothing more than interfering in the upbringing of the child. He deliberately undermines his wife's new partner. The child takes the attitude "my daddy said this or that" which may be in direct conflict to the way the child's mother and partner wish to raise the child. Dissension within the family grows.
After a while the partner starts to resent the situation. Either he becomes miserable or he ignores the child. In either case the child is in a dysfunctional home.Furthermore, the child realizes men (both their father and their mother's partner) have no real authority.
The reverse can happen when the father gets custody. Neither the mother nor the father's partner have any real authority.
Conflicts. Questionable authority. In some cases it's better if contact with the non-custodial parent is limited. | |
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| Would you want to know.....
Posted: 3/11/2007 5:50:23 AM | | Sure I'd want to know. I read your profile. I'm a good guy, and it still scared me even though none of the "If you're like this....go away" applied to me. Too much negativity, at least that's how I perceive it. | |
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| Would you want to know.....
Posted: 3/11/2007 5:59:27 AM | | I would think that whatever reason a person could possibly have for not being in their kids life, would be a good reason for them to not be in mine. | |
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*Tee*
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Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 21 | |
| Would you want to know.....
Posted: 3/11/2007 6:00:13 AM | One of the things I ask first when getting to know a man that has children is how much he sees them. It tells you alot about the type of person he is.
That being said, there might be a good reason why he doesn't, but to be honest with you? Other then the fact that the child was kidnapped by the mother and he doesn't know where they are, there are NO good reasons for any man not to see his kids.
I pretty much raised my kids alone, without much help from their father. To me, a father that doesn't take time to see his kids, shows, immaturity, no sense of responsibility, and selfishness. Would you want that in a partner? I know I sure as heck wouldn't... | |
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| Would you want to know.....
Posted: 3/11/2007 6:08:07 AM | MB.....Couldn't agree more. Sounds as if OP is in this very situation with her child's father, and is extremely bitter according to her profile. I don't agree with babies being flashed all over a dating site, but that's my opinion.
Before you jump down my throat OP, I do have a child who has NEVER seen his father, but I have learnt to live with it.
People who choose not to see their own flesh and blood are nothing less than pelican poop, but I wouldn't go stressing for the rest of my life over it.
As for dating someone like this NO, I wouldn't, I couldn't. | |
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| Would you want to know.....
Posted: 3/11/2007 6:13:55 AM |
MB.....Couldn't agree more. Sounds as if OP is in this very situation with her child's father, and is extremely bitter according to her profile. I don't agree with babies being flashed all over a dating site, but that's my opinion.
Hopefully she'll be able to reconcile any difficulties she's experiencing in relationship to this issue. My thoughts aren't intended to offend, but offer constructive perspective. I think given the child is such an important part of her life, that she's posted them -- like much of her profile -- to scare off those who aren't serious. Unfortunately it'll scare of those who are too! That's just what I think though. It's not the pictures alone, but the entire profile overview. The theme is "If you're this, that, this, that, rather than -- let me tell you a little about who "I" am." | |
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| Would you want to know.....
Posted: 3/11/2007 6:15:18 AM | | I would want to know. It does show EVERYTHING about a persons character. If they choose to not be a part of their child(ren)s lives, they have no place in my life. Children are precious, if a parent won't take care of their own, no need to mention the other responsibilities they are not willing to manage. | |
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| Would you want to know.....
Posted: 3/11/2007 9:05:06 AM |
Ok then...
If you were in a serious relationship with someone and found out they had a child they never told you about and never saw would you still persue the relationship?
That just depends on the circumstances of the situation. Though I can't personally think of an acceptable reason why a parent would not wish to see their children, if THEY HAD THE CHOICE to do so, I am willing to be open minded, and hear what they have to say about it. I might just be missing something. | |
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