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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > stringing you along for what?      Home login  
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 kitkat02
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 1
stringing you along for what?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
Why do some people insist on stringing someone else along, making them think they want to see them when all along, they know they don't. They could already be seeing somebody or whatever but they should tell you that and not make you believe otherwise. Then when it's over and they're tired of playing the game, you feel like the fool because you honestly thought they were sincere. It makes you feel like crap, I know that.
 gentle-knight
Joined: 11/20/2005
Msg: 2
stringing you along for what?
Posted: 3/12/2007 6:01:49 PM
Sounds like you got it bad. Someone once told me that to see sincerity, you have to look into someones eyes. If you cant see it, then the only thing to do is pass around by word of mouth what this person did to you and try not to linger in sadness and wallow in grief for too long. If you do that, then the other person has just gotten the final blow on their ignorant act. Lifes too short to sweat the small stuff, and loves to complicated to think that something like this is a big thing
 SnowAngel
Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 3
stringing you along for what?
Posted: 3/12/2007 6:14:43 PM

Lifes too short to sweat the small stuff, and loves to complicated to think that something like this is a big thing


Although I agree that you shouldn't sweat the small stuff... it's hard sometimes to move ahead where the heart is concerned. They say that time heals ... and that may be true... however... it's the now that hurts .... and after all ... we do have feelings.
 loyal T
Joined: 8/10/2006
Msg: 4
stringing you along for what?
Posted: 3/12/2007 6:15:57 PM
Op: Seems often someone strings another along as a convenience..just in case another does not work out, for sex, for company to do something instead of being all alone,etc.
It is a sad but true thing when one disregards the feelings of another when one is horny or feeling self pity and doesn't feel like "playing with themself".. sorry to be blunt, but I see you did ask what someone strings another along for. These are some suggestions.
 sarah_smile
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 5
stringing you along for what?
Posted: 3/12/2007 6:30:44 PM
Why do some people insist on stringing someone else along...
^^^
For whatever reasons, they have not learned not to be selfish/self-centered... I think it's really a component of emotional growth/awareness levels.
 sassyaquarius
Joined: 4/10/2006
Msg: 6
stringing you along for what?
Posted: 3/12/2007 6:42:14 PM
I have been strung along before... it doesn't matter why they do it, the part that really matters is why you allowed him to...

Once you have that answer, you will never let it happen again :)
 furtherfarthest
Joined: 11/3/2006
Msg: 7
stringing you along for what?
Posted: 3/13/2007 3:00:46 AM
I have been threw what you have mentioned "twice" in a row, just recently...
These people are feathering their own nests at our expense...
We are "insurance" policies to these insecure idiots...
I get mad but, i also don't give them to much of my energy
and I feel very grateful that, i didn't get overly involved for, they would pull
something of this sort eventually and then it would really pinch...

You are better off, when these people do this fast...and they
literally run people off of this site with their methods so,
don't let the weasels get ya down...I just was soooo mislead, one of the worst
i have ever had and i just will NOT give her my energy...


I need my energy for jumping!
 brilliant_bonehead
Joined: 12/5/2006
Msg: 8
stringing you along for what?
Posted: 3/13/2007 3:05:02 AM
I have to agree with sassyaquarius....

I've been strung along... And in retrospect, I blame myself.

It's hard when you have your emotional eggs in one basket, and even harder to step outside yourself to give the advice you'd give to anyone else.

When I got strung along, it wasn't by a bad person, but rather, by a person who just could not let go. She din't want me, but didn't want to lose me either. And I got caught in that trap.

I think I am in the same boat.. I still need lessons on cutting bait and walking away!
 furtherfarthest
Joined: 11/3/2006
Msg: 9
stringing you along for what?
Posted: 3/13/2007 5:14:05 AM
If people are dishonest with you and "mislead" you..
How does that make you at fault?

I think just suggesting that we are at fault sets you up for this,
i take NO responsibility for the actions of others...
If I mislead someone via lying and manipulating them, for my own benefit,
and then the person of whom I did this to said:
"Its okay frutherfarthest, it is my fault for letting you do this to me"

Well...I just can't imagine having' to much respect for a "push over" of that
magnitude...

People who do this are "everywhere" and blasting yourself for being had from a
manipulative person isn't the answer...

Blasting the manipulator is the answer...

The person who just mislead me wanted to still stay in contact with me,
well...I said no thanks and take a hike... i just can't believe some people
she is lucky that I was polite, i have had others try things and i haven't been very polite about it...at all...i have been bloody nasty..and it felt good...Verbally assault them!!!..
tell them what they are and you don't have any respect for them...
Don't sit around going oh boo hoo its my fault...YELL LOUD! lolol...
use coarse language, be a complete barbarian!...lolol....I have verbally blasted
a few of these people...as I say, if there skin is thick enough to mistreat me, then their skin is thick enough to take a PUNCH from me...
 kitkat02
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 10
stringing you along for what?
Posted: 3/14/2007 3:40:00 PM
I know I have to stop taking the blame of what others do to me. I will have to stand up for myself or I won't want to be involved with anyone else in the future. Right now, I can't imagaine ever having to go through this again and so that makes me not even want to try having anything to do with another man. I automatically assume that it's going to happen again and I know that's not the way to think. Not all men are the same but I still have a hard time convincing myself of that sometimes.
 lovelyviolet
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 11
stringing you along for what?
Posted: 3/14/2007 3:53:12 PM
It feels bad right now, your broken heart makes it seem like it will never get better and that you will never want someone else. But time will heal this.

In the meantime, realize that you can't change the guy who did this to you, but you CAN change yourself. Learn the signs of someone who would string you along, then avoid that type. A good place to start would be the book "He's Just Not That Into You". You'll get some quick insight into whether he really likes you or is just stringing you along.
 sassyaquarius
Joined: 4/10/2006
Msg: 12
stringing you along for what?
Posted: 3/14/2007 3:56:04 PM
Wow... it isn't about blaming anyone... yourself OR the other person..

Sometimes things happen that hurt you... that doesn't mean you don't have choices.. you can choose to allow yourself to be in a situation that continues to hurt you, or you can remove yourself.. THAT is your responsibility, not theirs.

I learned a great deal from the situation I found myself in.. I have empowered myself by looking within.. I have no control over others, only my reactions to them.. and I trust myself to know when to walk if things don't feel right..

Focusing on the negativity of the past becomes a self fulfilling prophesy which draws the same to you again and again... whereas learning from it frees you to create a new future :)
 Nancyj
Joined: 3/3/2007
Msg: 13
stringing you along for what?
Posted: 3/14/2007 4:08:47 PM
It makes me feel better to think I was not the only one. I agree. If people would just be honest, it would save a lot of heartache. I thought I was being really careful and when I finally started to believe what I was hearing - suddenly he wasn't interested anymore; he was still in love with someone else - okay but then why bother with me? If he was still in love with her, what was he doing here? Why put the effort into convincing me that we were falling in love and he thought I was so terrific and then when I finally started to believe that he was as sincere as he appeared to be, dump me? Why waste his time and mine? It left me wondering ... was it something wrong with me? Did I do something wrong? Was I just stupid? Was it just a game with him? Was he getting back at someone else for hurting him? Can I ever trust anyone? I'd recently been hurt too, I sure didn't need him to do this number on me.
 lane splitter
Joined: 3/4/2007
Msg: 14
stringing you along for what?
Posted: 3/14/2007 4:50:42 PM
It puzzles me why anyone would ask for a logical explanation of deceptive behavior. Why do people lie? Why do people steal? Why do people say one thing then do the opposite?

It's just their way of wasting your time. Maybe there was nothing good on TV.

I was strung along by a woman once, but it turned out she was into macramé, so I forgave her.
 Khaile
Joined: 10/20/2006
Msg: 15
stringing you along for what?
Posted: 3/14/2007 8:33:27 PM
I think sometimes people test you for doormat-ism- you know let you down and let you down and then build you up with promises- until they feel you will put up with anything. It's best to run away early when you realize it feels like shit.
 RARE TOPAZ
Joined: 3/3/2007
Msg: 16
stringing you along for what?
Posted: 3/14/2007 9:46:22 PM
Sassy.... you have got it right. I don't think these people set out to hurt us... Sh..t happens, and I have to learn how to set better boundries, and to cut the cord before it strangles me to death lol. Just keep working on yourself, because you can not control others behaviour, you can only accept it, or remove yourself from it!

 pouty lips
Joined: 3/6/2007
Msg: 17
stringing you along for what?
Posted: 3/15/2007 1:14:39 AM
Seems to me.. it's a sort of control issue. There was a book I read called " The Peter
Pan Syndrome", an old book. About this type of character flaws. There is one type
called,The Dance Away Lover, a guy who loves to charm, to conquer, and move on.
Like a bee ...buzzing to one flower, then another, a playboy. Some men refuse to grow
up, period. Some guys are just plain cruel, and some are narrcasistic, incapable of
caring for someone else. Only themselves. Some men play u like a pawn in a chess game. These are serious personality flaws..never mind waiting around and hoping
they'll change..most likely, they won't ever change. It's interesting...how people show
their "good side" in the beginning...then as u get to know them better..when u have
finally caught onto their game....the jig is up. Things turn upside down then. They
play head games....until u have to say no more. Cause they wear u down. So, just be
careful...and see what they ARE, not what u want them to be. Good Luck.
 swtcarolinej
Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 18
view profile
History
stringing you along for what?
Posted: 3/15/2007 4:32:09 PM
Pouty,I agree with your view 100%..I am working on trying to figure out why I CHOOSE these types lol its not all about them,some are doing just what comes naturally!!I know its not all guys,I am older and I have been through alot of life,and Im learning something new every day!!When you said See what they are not what YOU want them to be,was right on target for my last relationship, God he ripped my heart out,BUT theres a lesson in it as hurtful as that lesson was I have learned from it!!Thanks for your insightful post!!
 rwcul
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 19
stringing you along for what?
Posted: 3/16/2007 11:00:00 AM
you know i have always wanted to ask that question but now i have some answers.

i am going thru that right now love and it hurts the heart so much
 Eric-s Smokin Hottie
Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 20
stringing you along for what?
Posted: 3/16/2007 11:03:22 AM
I think we've all been there and it hurts like hell. They just like to keep their options open ... but just in case that better person doesn't come along, they have you to fall back on.

As much as it hurts, you have to get the scissors out and cut the string and end the heartache.
 NSWiseAcre
Joined: 1/16/2007
Msg: 21
stringing you along for what?
Posted: 3/16/2007 11:12:00 AM
Many people just don't take this online thing very seriously. Or perhaps they did , but over time, bad experiences have soured them on the online experience, and they are now lashing out at others.

Or so my therapist ellsme
 Butterfly92
Joined: 10/6/2006
Msg: 22
stringing you along for what?
Posted: 3/16/2007 11:22:44 AM
Every dating experience is unique. One should not base one relationship by their past relationships. We must learn to keep our eyes open and watch our backs. Don't quit having fun, just question any or all doubts you might have with the person you are with. I find if they do not want to share my concerns, they are not worth my time. A married male friend just told me the other day. "Julia, remember ...... it nevers gets better then dating." Now .....that's a great thought I can live by.
 sweet aries
Joined: 6/28/2006
Msg: 23
view profile
History
stringing you along for what?
Posted: 3/16/2007 11:36:14 AM
Hi, just put it this way, every time someone puts you through something like this, it makes you smarter, believe me i am. I watch the person very closely now and analyze. Remember, young and dumb turns into old and wise. At least you found out now and didn't marry him and then find out you have yourself an idiot. Watch closely, you can tell the difference and it doesn't matter how long it takes til you find it, good things come to those who wait. He's not the only plenty of fish in the sea.
 Sinclairy
Joined: 12/21/2006
Msg: 24
stringing you along for what?
Posted: 6/4/2007 3:28:51 PM
I think he was playing you up for the sex.

g
 Reenie999
Joined: 11/7/2005
Msg: 25
stringing you along for what?
Posted: 6/4/2007 3:47:03 PM
In my age group a lot of them are simply looking for email buddies but don't dare tell someone that.

That's one of the reasons why I make it a rule NEVER to do IM and to email back and forth just a few times then progress to phone calls and a meeting. If a guy doesn't go along with that then I no longer ahve any contact with him.

There is no point in wasting time with someone who doesn't meet my needs...or I his.
Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > stringing you along for what?