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| Sugar Daddies/Mommas
Posted: 3/13/2007 11:08:39 PM | My question is to both men and women.....Would you date someone just to further your finacial standings in life?
The reason I ask this is because, in the past, I have come across many, men and women, who date for the express purpose of furthering their own "comfort" by receiving monies, expensive gifts etc. from their boyfriends/girlfriends. Do you find this to be an acceptable dating practice?
As for me, personally, I do not expect my "boyfriend" to, in effect "buy" my affections. Money holds little value for me....the most valuable attribute, I find, is in his soul, his personalility. The fact that he would be willing to help me with a hand up, if I were down, would be more precious than the actual help itself because it shows that he truly cares for me. I find, that I, personally, have difficulty even accepting help from another, when it comes to money, I would rather accept advice. Don't get me wrong, I do like to be spoiled once in a while, however, there are many better ways to spoil me than spending a large amount of money. Ex. Run a nice hot bubble bath for me, give me a back rub etc. ( I like the simpler things in life and I think they mean so much more). These things mean a LOT more to me than any expensive gift could ever mean.
So, for me, dating for the express purposes of furthering my financial situation is unacceptable. | |
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| Sugar Daddies/Mommas
Posted: 3/14/2007 6:01:36 AM | No NO and yet again NO. I have been in situations where the man has had alot of money, not just that night but alot in his life. I hate it when a man thinks he can or has to buy everything everytime we go out. I make my own money and live well enough with my 4 kids. I wouldnt date a guy to further my finances as I cant be with someone just becasue he has money. And as for the guys who think buying you something to make up, well that dont fly with me as if I get flowers, jewelery everytime we argue, do you think thats a good idea? I need more then that in my life and had lived for 5 years in quite that situation, granted I had feelings for him at first till things went badly.
I agree with the OP to the effect that the simple things make me happier like my favorite breakfast being cooked, a cup of coffee in bed, being able to sleep in a few hours extra, him taking the garbage out for me, leaving little notes around the house for me to find at a later date,him remembering something I said I liked and getting it for me ( like an Areo bar when he goes out for something ) The simple things in life are more appealing then a wad of cash in his bank account. BUT....if he is dirt poor, always needing to borrow cash, cant seem to make his paycheck last because he cant manage his cash, well that is a different issue in itself. | |
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| Sugar Daddies/Mommas
Posted: 3/14/2007 7:26:00 AM | I was asked yesterday if I was really low maintenance?! In my previous days, I would have gotten upset and even offended.... but truth is, I am very low maintenance and very proud of it.... money don't fly with me (unless it means yer using it to get me a red truck of course  )
I tried to convince myself that I was in love with someone so that I could be 'financially secure' so-to-speak, but I'm just not that kind of gal, who knew!?
However, I think to each their own right? I, on the other side of the coin, love to buy things for those in my life 'just cuz I think they should have em'... doesn't mean I'm willing to go way outside my budget to do so..... it could be an acceptable dating practice to some, but not my personal preference.... to each their own
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| Sugar Daddies/Mommas
Posted: 3/14/2007 3:40:06 PM | I to have to agree with OP and 2nice - it is the simple things they do for you that makes me the most happiest. The guy I am with has told me that with his last 2 exes he gave them everything they wanted and they were still not happy and left anyways to find someone else and they are both still not happy to this day. I told him that the material things are not that important to me and have told him on numerous occassions that I do not expect him or want him to buy me or hand me everything on a silver platter and all I want from him is his love and affection and just do for me the simple things in life as I would for him to keep us both happy. Even when I move down to be with him, I will be giving up a good job here and arriving there almost penniless but still do not expect him to give me everything except a roof over my head, a bed to sleep in, food in my tummy and all the love he can give me. I have told him that I plan on getting a job so that I can help out with bills and stuff because I believe that if a relationship is to work then it has to be 50/50 and not just one sided.
Sure sometimes it would be nice to find someone to buy you everything but that is not me - I grew up living a hard life in a somewhat poor home but a happy home and have gone from living on welfare to where I am now with a good job and have not regrets what so ever. I am happy for who I am and where I have gotten to in my life so far and do not or expect to have anyone hand me things on a silver platter. I will even pay for my coffee, drink or even a meal on a first date and find nothing wrong with that.
Well enough of me rambling on - so have a great day everyone. | |
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| Sugar Daddies/Mommas
Posted: 3/14/2007 4:59:27 PM | | I have to giggle with this thread.....I was just talking to my ex a few days ago, and she said she was still searching for her sugar daddy....... lmao | |
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| Sugar Daddies/Mommas
Posted: 3/14/2007 5:02:14 PM | No thanks I rather pay for my own self... I work to pay my bills and look after my children... I dont need no sugar daddy... Getting someone to help you out only causes problems and will come back to bite you in the butt someday....always someone who wants something more than you are willing to give.. | |
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| Sugar Daddies/Mommas
Posted: 3/14/2007 5:10:20 PM | There are sugar mommas, where when, why, how, point me in their direction.
I am a good cook 
Usually there is the element of control in a situation like that. I am way to independent for that. I had a few micro-managers in my life and I walked away from that job so f***ing fast. If I can't stand controlling bosses, why would I stay with a sugar momma? Not enough money for me to give up my self-respect. Can be rented though, hehe. | |
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| Sugar Daddies/Mommas
Posted: 3/14/2007 7:41:35 PM | I am not a materialistic person and do not believe love can be bought. Pride is also a factor, as I would not be comfortable feeling someone was looking after me. I also am not interested in "daddies spoiled little princess" types or those who cannot manage thier finances on their own. I am an independant person who is quite capable of looking after myself and my boys and am looking for the same in a mate. It should be about the love and compatability between two people who are treated as equals. Money, in this situation, often shifts the balance of being equals.
Now, if I won the lottery, I would definately spoil those involved in my life, only because I could, and with no expectations.
If I win enough maybe I can even send shorty a red truck!
Just my two cents!
M | |
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| Sugar Daddies/Mommas
Posted: 3/14/2007 7:58:29 PM | MMM cute thread now let's see I married the first time for love, he died ---married the last one for love I divorced him mmmm next one ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ok ok I am a sap for love what can I say.
I am a very high maintance woman lol ask my hairdresser, my manicurest, pedicurist, waxer, etc etc etc...come on what do u expect I am 50 lol.
But this said guess who pays for my indulgences ME! I do not need nor want a man for financial security, I want the cinderella story LOVE!!!!!! Money can be spent, things break and deteriate, but true love never dies....give me love over money anyday!
fiesty
Looking for romeo, or white knight, or ok ok looking for love  | |
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| Sugar Daddies/Mommas
Posted: 3/14/2007 8:21:00 PM |
I want the cinderella story LOVE!!!!!!
Whadda ya mean love? She didn't marry the stable boy... she married the prince! He wasn't some poor ass floor mopper like Cinderella. They didn't move into Cinderalla's father's stately chateau that had fallen into disrepair... she moved to the palace. They didn't have a mortgage, an overdue Visa, coach payments... it was all taken care of. He had the bucks, which is why they lived happily ever after.
I could probably handle a woman who made more money than me, but if she thought her money could persuade me to do things I'm just not down with... she'd find out otherwise. I probably wouldn't flip out and tell her to shove it, she'd just have to sit there frustrated while I watched the Rider game and ignored her heavy sighs. | |
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| Sugar Daddies/Mommas
Posted: 3/14/2007 8:39:59 PM |  ok ok your right with your analagy of the Cinderella story but what I ment was I wanted prince charming I don't care if he is as poor as a church mouse as long as he treats me like a princess.
fiesty | |
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| Sugar Daddies/Mommas
Posted: 3/14/2007 9:01:30 PM | | Blah blah..independent, want the simple things..blah blah..blah...I have yet to see a woman who claims to not need things turn down the 1 carat diamond ring, and 4 bedroom home. I have yet to hear one say, oh hon you shouldn't have, you need to take that ring right back to the store, I don't need a ring like that, our love is enough. ROFL | |
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| Sugar Daddies/Mommas
Posted: 3/14/2007 9:26:24 PM | | I have, infact, ordered a couple of my exes to return the expensive gifts they have bought for me. I have, infact, broken up with men because they tried to put me up as a "kept" woman....I will not stand for being treated as if I cannot take care of myself. Maybe I'm a bit strange this way, but that is who I am.....If they buy me a simple gift, or make something for me with their own to hands, I will accept that and cherish it, as a hand made gift....or a song written, or poem...etc. it all comes from the heart. I'm not saying I will not accept gifts, but they must be something special, yet inexpensive or, I will insist that he returns it to where it came from. I, personally, am high maintanance(Emotionally speaking NOT financially). Touch my heart and my soul, you have my love forever more! | |
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| Sugar Daddies/Mommas
Posted: 3/14/2007 9:29:59 PM | | I forgot to add.....that before I married my second husband....he was hesitant about getting married because he could not support me, or give me better things in life. I told him, flat-out, I do not care if we live in a cardboard box, we have each other and THAT is what matters to me! | |
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| Sugar Daddies/Mommas
Posted: 3/14/2007 9:54:12 PM | Yay, no more banned camp.. lol
A friend of mine always jokes that I need a sugar daddy, but in all seriousness no, I would not date someone JUST to further my financial standing. If they have my love AND money, hey, bonus... just kidding.
It does not matter to me if the guy I am seeing is rich or poor, or anywhere in between. I agree 100% with the original poster actually, the simpler things in life do mean a lot more to me than expensive gifts. I appreciate the little things a lot more than things that you can put a dollar value on. Don't get me wrong, I like to be spoiled once in a while too...but the little sweet gestures mean so much more to me than a necklace, or bracelet, or whatever. To me, that shows love and affection more...clearer, I guess, than something that cost a lot of money or not a lot of thought was put into. | |
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| Sugar Daddies/Mommas
Posted: 3/15/2007 6:45:54 AM |
A friend of mine always jokes that I need a sugar daddy
In my first year of university, finding out what it was like to be flat broke and what not a few of my friends and I came up with a joke...you can always marry for love the second time...
And it was totally just that a joke, but it made us laugh. Having a sugar Daddy is something that I joke about, and still believe that Sugar needs one....and maybe she can share with me.
But I am sure that once I am done school and get a decent job in my field that I will be making more than my other half does presently...so I wonder...does that make me a sugar Momma.
Either way it doesn't matter. So what if we struggle to make ends meet at the end of the month, as long as they are met and we aren't starving things are great. Love is what really matters. | |
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| Sugar Daddies/Mommas
Posted: 3/15/2007 6:53:18 AM | I take great pride in the fact that I can take care of myself and my 3 kids, I am a strong, independent woman and financially I will not ask for help, EVER, I will always make things work, no matter what sacrifices I may have to make.
The most amazing man that I am in love with understands this about me but I sometimes worry what his friends and family may think as he is a big business man with many resources who is in a relationship with someone who is currently a stay at home Mom. I choose to stay at home because I want to raise my children with my values and beliefs and with all the changes in the last 3 years in our life I believe they need the stability of me. It will be a year on the 25 that this sweet man entered my life and not once and not ever will I ask him for anything but his love and acceptance and he knows that (and no, we do not live together so there is no sharing of expenses either). All we ask from each other is unconditional love and commitment and we give that to each other, money and posessions do not fit into our relationship and never will. | |
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| Sugar Daddies/Mommas
Posted: 3/15/2007 7:49:35 AM |
Would you date someone just to further your finacial standings in life? No.
If I was in a relationship with someone, only for that reason, I'd be ashamed of myself.
I'd be willing to date a much wealthier women (although it's unlikely that there's any very wealthy women who are interested in dating me), but if I were dating a wealthy woman, it would be because I was attracted to her, she had a personality compatable to mine, and I enjoyed being around her. (The same reason's that I'd date a woman of any income level.)
men and women, who date for the express purpose of furthering their own "comfort" by receiving monies, expensive gifts etc. from their boyfriends/girlfriends. Do you find this to be an acceptable dating practice? It's also not something that I'd do.
Recieving gifts, is acceptable. Expecting gifts isn't. | |
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| Sugar Daddies/Mommas
Posted: 3/15/2007 3:01:12 PM |
Recieving gifts, is acceptable. Expecting gifts isn't.
VERY well said !somewhere! Receiving gifts is fine, but expecting them, is just plain rude, in my humble opinion. | |
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| Sugar Daddies/Mommas
Posted: 3/15/2007 5:18:40 PM | Oh oh I totally HAVE to post what I saw today. My apologies if the girl I am going to talk about is on this site lol.
I was at school today sitting in the student lounge and there was a girl in there talking with a few of her other classmates, and telling them how she'd been dating her man for only 6 months and he'd already bought her a couple diamond rings, and that she was expecting (I think that was her choice of words) another one sometime soon. She went on about how he bought her all these clothes, and new shoes...and this and that... and she joked (I think, anyway lol) about how she wasn't going to ask him for a new car or house...yet. Her friend sitting with her laughed and said, yeah wait a few more months, it will come. I'm sure that last part was a joke but I could hardly believe what I was hearing!!
I thought about this thread instantly while she was talking and I just found it so bizarre that a person in a relationship for 6 months had already received diamond rings and was anticipating another one in the near future.
At first I found myself thinking...oh my god...does your boyfriend have a brother???? lol, but then I thought, I could never accept gifts and rings and clothes and shoes all the time from a guy, especially one I'd not even been seeing that long.
I might joke about having a sugar daddy (and so might Elle and her boyfriend heh) but I'd never be comfortable with that. I like what !somewhere said... receiving is acceptable, but expecting them isn't. | |
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| Sugar Daddies/Mommas
Posted: 3/15/2007 5:50:16 PM | | I knew somebody who had a sugar daddy. I would never ever consider it. The whole relationship is based on "Favours" and that to me is a waste of life & time. If I am going to take the time to build a relationship, it will be one that is healthy, nurturing, loving and full filling in every. I have everything I need with regards to materialistic things. I am in school working towards a career which will help me financially and also give me self assurance, gratitude and confidence in knowing that I will accomplish my goals through hard work. I want to do these things for myself and be proud of myself. But, at the same time receiving gifts can be wonderful as long as that person is a giver as well. To take, take ,take its just down right selfish and it can show a person for what they truly are - Materialistic or gold diggers or both.. | |
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| Sugar Daddies/Mommas
Posted: 3/15/2007 11:12:09 PM | | There is something missing here ive lived both sides of the fence when i was broke i wasnt complete not because i didnt have the things I wanted but because i hadnt found my calling.Success and face it money comes too those who truely love and have passion for what they do .The fact they arent doing it for the money seperates them from the herd and elevates them too higher levels of success which translates into usually finacial security and more importantly a strong sence of self.And passion is attractive and security is a key ingredient to happyness so its a fine line between sugar daddy or mamma and wholeness as a person.But nothing can be one sided everthing is a balance if you are taking more than you are giving you will eventually tip the scale and end up on your ass with nothing week and alone. Without a host a parasite dies. A strong relationship is built with the things you each bring to the table money is just one ingredient. | |
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| Sugar Daddies/Mommas
Posted: 3/16/2007 5:48:51 AM | I am starting to think either I was a sugar mommie ( or just stupid ) as 2 guys I had dated stand out in my mind. They did have jobs when I met them but as soon as we moved in together they couldnt/wouldnt work, always were sick, if we went anywhere their wallets were always left at home or their bank card wasn't working. I wound up supporting these men through sheer stupidity now looking back at it all.
When I am in a relationshi0p it is not to be one sided, everyone involved needs to pull their own weight. Unfourtunatly in this world it is USUALLY the man who makes more money then the woman. Dont bash me on that as it is a fact. My finances are fairly normal, above the average I feel for a single mom of 4 but if I am dating a single professional who earns tons more then me and doesnt have huge bills and is able to take home much of his income does that mean he is my sugar daddie if I let him pay for outings ,etc?? He will also be able to buy better and bigger items/gifts as he is not having to worry about feeding and clothing 4 children.
I could never date someone who I would use for things whether it be money or material possesions, I am quite low mainteneance I feel but most people before meeting me seem to think otherwise. If we could never disclose our income or job titles how many more people do you think would fall in love happily ever after?? Money isnt everything, yes, granted it helps as in todays societ you cant really get anyhting for free. I never want to have to live in poverty again as I did starting out my life single parenting. I would have to love the person I am with for them and who they are, who they will be and who we are together NOT for how thick his wallet is and not for how many figures he makes...With that being said I do have MY goals in life and one of those is to own a nicer home, one brand new, one that no one in my family has ever lived in. Do I need a sugar daddie for that?? Nope I need a man with a solid work ethic, one who isnt afraid to get his hands dirty and one who works his a*** off as I do mine with my job.
Hope I really didnt get off topic here as this took me awhile to srite and dont wanna see it flushed to POF sewage land....does a sugar daddie really taste like sugar??? | |
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| Sugar Daddies/Mommas
Posted: 3/16/2007 2:24:21 PM | I, recently, went out on a date with a man who informed me that, it was his turn to be spoilt rather than he spoiling the women he dates. He wants her to pick him up, buy his dinners etc. This, to me, is he is looking for a "sugar mamma", of which, I am not. I do wish him luck in his search and perhaps, he will find what he looking for, but I am not it. LOL
Since I started this thread, I have come to realize, or remember, that I have, technically, been on both sides of the fence on this one. When I was 21 yrs. old, I married a man who was fairly well off, though that was NOT the reason I married him...I married for love....however, his finacial situation did sweeten the pot, so to speak. He took care of the bills etc. and I had an "allowance", if you would like to call it that. lol This marriage did not last long, for various reasons, but one of them was the fact that I could not look myself in the mirror every day, knowing I was, in effect, using him as a "sugar daddy". Don't get me wrong here, I was working and making my own money as well, but he had FAR more than I could make at that time and I accepted what money and gifts he gave me. I guess, we all live and learn, don't we? I learned that I am very uncomfortable in that type of situation. Also, he was not blameless either, he was using me, in turn, as his "trophy wife" to show off to his friends. | |
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| Sugar Daddies/Mommas
Posted: 3/16/2007 2:37:35 PM | but if they are pretty and intelligent they should have some money as well.
It's all good.
LOL
Seriously though, the more you have the more you worry about it. | |
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