| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/14/2007 12:07:00 PM | So I've been dating him for about 6 weeks.....not really serious but I was thinking we really liked each other you know?
I spent the night at my boyfriend' s house last night. We cuddled and kissed, it was nice. Then he went to work this morning, and I stayed at his place for a bit on his computer. I was typing a website address into his browser when it automatically displayed Adult Friend Finders so out of curiosity I clicked it. It immediately displayed the log-on screen with his e-mail address already there........he's definitely a member.
I know I shouldn't have, but it really got me even more curious so I checked his history. He's been going there a few times the past week.
So now what do I do? Ask him about it? Forget about it and hope that it doesn't mean anything?
I don't particularly want to break up with him, but I would if necessary. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/14/2007 12:13:45 PM | Are you two exclusive, engaged or married? Any other form of 'committment' that's spoken and not merely in your own mind?
Then surely he's free to keep an active weather eye out for lining up your replacement, should there be a need down the road. He's not dating someone else just now, correct?
So I've been dating him for about 6 weeks.....not really serious but I was thinking we really liked each other you know?
I spent the night at my boyfriend' s house last night. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/14/2007 12:16:37 PM | I'm not allowed to date other guys, so he sure in the hell isn't allowed to date other girls.
Well, maybe if he lets ME date other girls I might consider it..............or maybe not. :P | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/14/2007 12:19:47 PM | If your not exclusive, then he's still free to do as he chooses for there's been no spoken mutual agreement on being exclusive...
He may there just for the chat rooms or for the views. Who's to say...It goes back to your being exclusive to one another or not. If you are exclusive, you may want to think this out fully and then speak with him. Is he happy being in this relationship? Would he prefer to be dating multiple women or someone else? Decisions decisions decisions. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/14/2007 12:20:26 PM | Adult friend finder? Ewww, icky poo poo.
I wouldn't be there by time he got home.
But I'm a bytch with stuff like that.
I'm not saving this tender piece of canadian grade A for some slaughter-pecker.
It just wouldn't suit me. And yes, I'm THAT freaking worth it. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/14/2007 12:22:46 PM | | @ peacefulwlife.................did you miss the part where I'm not allowed to date other guys? Doesn't that make it exclusive enough or do I have to have a dress, ring, and bridesmaids picked out? | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/14/2007 12:32:03 PM | | the guy sounds like a perv. this is precisely why i made my profile private. this site is full of sickos just looking for sex. imsure not EVERYONE is like that but thats what ive found to be the majority. Unless you are into swingers and lots of random sex, dump him. You dont deserve to be treated like trash | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/14/2007 12:32:33 PM | | After 6 weeks of dating you should know if your exclusive or not. I think you want to be. I don't think he wants to be. Maybe Im wrong but you need to bring it out in the open. Tell him what happened. See how he reacts. Tell him how you feel. Make your decision then. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/14/2007 12:34:46 PM | | OP if you are not allowed to date other guys as you posted does this mean it's a requirement of his? or yours? If it is his, I think that sounds a bit controlling since it has only been 6 weeks. I would be a bit cautious. It's sounds like a red light for you, listen to it. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/14/2007 12:39:04 PM | Well, I am sure I won't make any friends here with my view but here goes.
In the six weeks you've been dating, he thought enough about you for you to spend the night at his house.
You were on his computer? Did he know? If he did, then he wasn't hiding anything or he would have told you "no, you can't use it".
If he didn't know you were on his computer, You violated his trust. Yes, if it popped up on me, I would look to see what the site was. Curious or not, you should've have asked him about rather than going into his history. Honesty is best. On both sides. Reviewed his history? Read his emails? Messages? Where is the trust?
I say talk to him about, see what he says. But be sure to tell him you did review his history there.
Everyone has a life before meeting anyone. It's like buying Playboy to read the articles, some men REALLY do. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/14/2007 12:45:26 PM | | I spend every second night at his place on average. He trusts me enough to leave me alone in his house for extended periods of time. Since he got his computer a few weeks ago I've used his computer (with and without him there) many, many, many times and he knows about it. The only thing he doesn't know is that I saw the adult friend finder thing and that I looked at his history today. I haven't told him about it because he's still at work, and will be until much later tonight. I know I shouldn't have looked at his history, but after seeing that I got curious. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/14/2007 12:47:03 PM | You know what - you are probably going to dump him anyway
so why not ask him why he did that-
And yeah - I think it is necessary you dump him - just for the fact
you state here you guys are committed- so - why is he looking-
and really - dont excuse this behavior - you "particulary dont
want to break up with him" yeah you do - go find someone who
doesnt need to be on a website like that- who just needs you-
Oh and stop defending him here - yeah you guys trust each other -
thats all good- but what about this??? why is he doing this - oh and
no you should look at whatever you want - remember you said we
trust each other - he is doing something untrustworthy not you - dont
apologize for stumbling upon something by accident- | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/14/2007 12:53:01 PM | Joined, you are actually allowed to do anything you want. If he's placing restrictions on you, and he still has an active AFF account, it's a bad scene, do yourself a favor and get out now. But first, bring it up to him, if you're uncomfortable, do it casually, mention that his AFF popped up when you were on the comp and give him the chance to explain. He may not still be active on there. Any good relationship is open and the partners are not afraid to share with each other. Don't be afraid to bring it up, watch his eyes and his body language, and if he gets defensive, that will tell you what you need to know if he doesn't come right out and come clean about it and whether or not he is active on it.
Peace and best of luck | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/14/2007 12:54:15 PM | Perhaps he just hasn't figured out how to tell you about the site? Or perhaps there's something he's into that you two need to discuss. Who knows.
As much time as you are spending there I think it's more than "not really serious". I say talk to him. Be open-minded. Depending on what he says, do what you feel you must. But if you want something with him you have to talk. PERIOD! | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/14/2007 1:02:59 PM | has it EVER occured to ANY of youthat MAYBE he just uses the chat rooms?
I'm on the site and i can almost guarantee that unless hes looking for another GUY to play with (and even then its almost impossible), that its one of the WORST sites for heeoking up on.
maybe he likes checking out the FORUMS... for the HALIFAX NGIHT LIFE, i dunno... im not him and cant say what he likes.
ive met more people of fTHIS site for random hookups then AFF and ive been on hteir for 8 months, its just an addiction to have a LOCAL chat room that i've found most sites dont offer.
just my opinion... if anyone would care to respond to this.. please copy and paste it into an email for me... asi probably WONT be checking these forums much. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/14/2007 1:05:10 PM | oh.. and a little side note to the post before mine.. XMATCH.com is the SAME site
AFF has about a dozen or so sites that all use the same database for people that it cross references... try checking out the LINKS section and youll notice that AFF is there. | |
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Algy
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Joined: 11/3/2006
Msg: 20 | |
| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/14/2007 1:56:37 PM | It could be worse. He could be looking for children or farm animals.
Seriously. I’m with Steve. Ask. Get response. Judge response. Make decision. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/14/2007 1:59:28 PM | | He probably also has several accounts with Internet porn sites. Some guys are addicted to that sort of thing. You had best be careful, he might be planning to use you as a booty call. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/14/2007 2:03:11 PM | Here's another thought - maybe he signed up by accident and can't get rid of it.
Hold on, hear me out.
Many moons ago, I ran across a banner ad for ALT.com, which is very similar to AFF. At the time I was looking to meet people of a certain bent, so I signed up.
Then I found out they charged (sound familiar?), and that 3/4's of the clientele were men, and the few women whose profiles didn't seem like a spam trap were hundreds of miles away.
Total time as an active member: fifteen minutes.
Unfortunately, I couldn't figure out how to delete my account. That was *years* ago, and I'm still getting E-mail from them expounding upon all the wonderful new features they claim to keep adding.
Plus, unless you turn all of the caching off, your browser will keep everything you type. If he signed up and logged in even once, IE/Firefox/etc will remember his username in the autocomplete, and unless he clears the history himself, the URL bar will keep the site address.
It's also possible that he was an active member, but hasn't logged in since he met you. I probably have two-dozen profiles on various personals sites that date to back before I was married, simply because I forgot the names of all of them and didn't feel like hunting around to delete them all.
Not sayin' this is the case here, but it is a possibility. I'm only a member of Alt because I can't figure out how to unsubscribe. 
AFF has about a dozen or so sites that all use the same database for people that it cross references... try checking out the LINKS section and youll notice that AFF is there.
So does MatchDoctor. I signed up for it and AdultMatchDoctor just for the hell of it, and when I cancelled both of them the signoff screen for AMD had the *exact same testimonial* as the MD signoff screen, except the name of the site had been changed. I'm talkin' word-for-word. | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/14/2007 2:23:00 PM | Correct me if I'm wrong - but aren't you posting your concern on a well known dating/hook up/whatever you want to call it site? And if you reply that you only come for the forums - ummm - sure - may as well check to see if there are any notes - see if anyone has viewed you?
AFF and the associated sites offer pretty much the same as this - forums, chatrooms that are farrrrrrrrr more entertaining than anything on television.
Psst - hope you cleaned the cache if you signed in from you boyfriend's computer! | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/14/2007 3:05:44 PM | do you people defending the guy even know what AFF IS???its a site for people who want to have FLINGS, casual sex, SLUT AROUND.
any guy who would even SIGN up for that that is above the age of 18 and isnt just signign up to look at free porn has ISSUES.
i guess its hard for you to understand thast since most of the guys responding are sickos who think its cool to look for sex on the internet. no its not cool ,its pathetic, and disgusting | |
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| He has an adult friend finder's account?
Posted: 3/14/2007 3:24:37 PM | | Talk to him..talk to him..lol...i have a few sites i go to...if this bothers you...#1..you did look..that's called snooping...ask him straight out...then either walk away, or start building a relationship with each other. good luck dear.... | |
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