| How old before you let your kid use their own changeroom for swimming?
Posted: 3/15/2007 6:11:31 PM | I just went swimming and some guy brought his daughter in to the guy's changeroom to change with all the guys. I figure she was about 10-11 yrs old.
What age do you think is appropriate for kids to change in their own room without you?
Or to put it another way (since I expect everyone to reply "when they're ready") at what age did your kids become ready to change on their own? | |
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| How old before you let your kid use their own changeroom for swimming?
Posted: 3/15/2007 6:16:51 PM | | Where I take my lil guy, the age is 6. I'm kinda leary about having him change in the guys change room alone (pedafiles etc). Luckily they have a family change room. 10 is too old and that girl should have been in the woman's change room. I would say 7-8 would be the right age for using the appropriate room. | |
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| How old before you let your kid use their own changeroom for swimming?
Posted: 3/15/2007 6:37:41 PM | Personally, I would not want an 11 year old BOY in the girl's change room with my daughter and I - too old.
Use a family changeroom or the handicapped washroom if they are this age and you don't trust them. 8 should be the cut-off, if that. I get that a single parent has challenges, but I don't want some boy string at my breasts when I get changed or my 9 year old daughter changing behind a towel because an 11 year old boy is looking at her.
It has nothing to do with nudity or being ashamed of our bodies for those so quick to jump on THAT bandwagon - it's about privacy and not having strangers of the opposite sex at the onset of puberty or IN puberty seeing us naked.
If your child is at the age where they are becoming sexually aware, and this is happening at a much younger age these days, it's too old. | |
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| How old before you let your kid use their own changeroom for swimming?
Posted: 3/15/2007 8:37:48 PM | | I took my older daughter into the men's change room until she was 9 years old. At about that age, she (and I) was more comfortable with her going to the women's change room on her own as long as we had a plan for where to meet. My younger daughter has been going to the women's change room with her older daughter, so she switched at an earlier age. Whenever there is a family change room available, we use it as it is more convenient. I think that 9 years old or so is about the right age to start letting kids go it alone in the change room. | |
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| How old before you let your kid use their own changeroom for swimming?
Posted: 3/15/2007 10:14:13 PM | The only pool we go to has a family change room in it, so it's generally not a problem for my son and I.
As for bathrooms... depends on where we are. Sometimes I make him use the woman's (like at highway reststops, or huge tourist places), other times he can go by himself (like at a small restaurant). If that's the case though, he is given a strict timeline to follow. What can I say... he's a boy... he takes his time in the bathroom! haha | |
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cbm61
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Joined: 2/14/2007
Msg: 8 | |
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babs3
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Joined: 7/30/2006
Msg: 9 | |
| How old before you let your kid use their own changeroom for swimming?
Posted: 3/16/2007 12:59:19 AM | To rockondon,
If you had asked me this question yesterday, I would have said that if the child who is of the opposite sex to the parent, by the age of 10 they should be able to go into the change room on their own......but....yesterday I went to the pool and took some neighbourhood kids with us (mostly boys) to enjoy the pool being it march break for the all kids in our area. I was waiting outside the change room for them...and all the while they were being physically assaulted by a group of older kids. I thought they were old enough to go on their own into the men's change room...especially since they were a group...I was wrong....The boys in my care were in age range from 9 to 11 (my son included) and I promise you that, after yesterdays drama I will not be letting any kids in my care out of my sight or go into a public restroom alone ever again....even if it makes them feel like a baby and they protest about it! | |
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| How old before you let your kid use their own changeroom for swimming?
Posted: 3/17/2007 11:24:41 AM | as a girl, I totally believe she should be in the ladies room by 6. It't not like thare are as many 'pediphile' women out there, if anything most adult women will look after kids in the ladies room when they notice they're on their own.
My question to everyone is reverse ... I have a 5 year old boy... I've started letting him go alone in Men's room but only in controlled environments - like a smaller venue , or a quiet museum etc... sometimes I've even gone in myself to check that's it emply before I let him go. Is this too extreme do you all think? | |
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| How old before you let your kid use their own changeroom for swimming?
Posted: 3/17/2007 12:28:49 PM | I have two girls so the changing room isn't a big issue for me. The pools that I've visited have had signs posted that when they're in school, they're in their proper change room. That said, they also have a family change room.
I have allowed my 6 year old to go to a public bathroom alone. I wait outside the door and in a few minutes I open the door and ask if she's ok. She yells back and I know that all is well. Not the most polite thing to do but that's what I do if I had a boy. You have to watch your kids. I've also been known to still use the family bathroom or the wheelchair access washroom. Sorry but they're my kids and I do what keeps them safe.
Usually there are private rooms within the changing rooms...I hope the 10 year old went inside one of those. Times are changing and there are too many nuts in it.
Good topic. | |
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| How old before you let your kid use their own changeroom for swimming?
Posted: 3/17/2007 1:59:38 PM |
Usually there are private rooms within the changing rooms...I hope the 10 year old went inside one of those. Times are changing and there are too many nuts in it.
A large open room with a bunch of benches, so everybody can see everybody. There was about a half a dozen dads trying not to look her way and another half dozen kids who seemed kinda curious and were glancing her way. | |
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| How old before you let your kid use their own changeroom for swimming?
Posted: 5/15/2008 5:34:13 PM | I was in our local pool a few months back and I saw a neighbour of mine, who's a single parent, with his girl and her friend, who are both about 11 I guess. I said hello as is polite, had my swim and got out to shower and get changed. As usual I went to my locker, got my shampoo and shoer gel and put my trunks in the bag I took, I walked back to the shower with no towel and nothing on. After all, it is the men's changing/shower room.
As I was washing my hair, I heard my neighbour say hello again and stand near to me in the shower area, I didn't really think anything of it, even though he had his trunks on. Next thing I heard some young voices and my neighbours voice saying "Come on, behave yourselves". Yep, the girls were in the shower area as well, and taking a shower, albeit with their costumes on, thankfully. They finished before me and, once I'd finished washing my hair, I started soaping myself off, as is normal to get the chlorine out. I had to have a look to see what the girls were doing and they were just washing and standing under the shower (again, costumes on), but once or twice they did have a look my way, as I should imagine young girls would do. As they finished their shower first, I also had to walk the 20-30 yards past them back to my locker.
Now, I think showering with nothing on, even in the local pool is what we should do, hygiene wise. But I'm not sure if girls of 11 should be in the men's changing rooms, maybe it's a little too old? I have seen them since, and the neighbour's daughter doesn't seem uncomfortable about anything, which seems cool. I'm not sure what she's thinking though! Nor do I want to know!!!! | |
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| How old before you let your kid use their own changeroom for swimming?
Posted: 5/15/2008 6:36:47 PM | I have actually not really been in that situation. The summer when we were swimming somewhere besides their dad's apartment pool my youngest was probably 5 or 6 but we had boys four years older than they were that we could send into the changing room together.
I think the same age as you are comfortable letting them go to the bathroom by themselves. I would not bring a 10-11-year-old girl (if I were a guy) into the changing area unless it was specifically a family one. What if there was a guy walking around doing whatever with everything hanging out? That to me would be worse than the girl going by herself and really, the threat of a woman doing something particularly to a kid that is older is miniscule.
Also I do remember my youngest getting to the point that he refused to go in the women's room with me. I think he was 6 maybe 7. To be honest with you, it has been harder doing that sort of thing with him because of the older siblings so when he really put his foot down I would just stand right outside the door.
A lot depends on the kid. I know he would start screaming bloody murder if something untoward was going on but a more timid child I would be much more careful about. My brother and his wife are somewhat over-protective but I also think because they have been so over-protective, they would be a kid someone would target.
OP, if it was an open room she had absolutely no business being in there and if it was a woman bringing the same age boy into a women's locker room of the same nature I would have told her he had no business being there and if she didn't remove him I would be getting the manager. That is what all of you should have done and the guys that were looking, Jesus, you should have said something to those sick bastards too. | |
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| How old before you let your kid use their own changeroom for swimming?
Posted: 5/16/2008 1:52:10 AM | | I see where this can go two ways. In one, yes, it seems entirely inappropriate for a young girl to be in the men's shower. On the other, these girls were apparently used to it if they were freely showering and such, and that could prevent over curiosity about the male anatomy that get many young girls into trouble. It raises questions about children in nudist societies. I think that it probably made the men more uncomfortable than the girls and hate to say it, kind of, but it really doesn't seem all that bad. While I would never condone a sexual sight in a child, just the sight of the naked body in it's natural state shouldn't be damaging regardless of gender. I, personally, would not be comfortable with it, though. | |
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| How old before you let your kid use their own changeroom for swimming?
Posted: 5/16/2008 2:50:52 AM | | I haven't really felt uncomfortabel with what happened to me. If they're ok with it, then I'm ok. I wouldn't have dreamt of doing anything other than shower properly. It did take me by surprise at first, but, other than that, the awkwardness disappeared. And, even when I was walking back to my locker with nothing on, they didn't seem unperturbed by it in any way. I've seen them since in the street and it's just 'business as usual', to coin a phrase | |
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| How old before you let your kid use their own changeroom for swimming?
Posted: 5/16/2008 8:52:33 PM | Jeez, doesn't anyone just put their swimsuit on under their clothes to avoid changing?? Or change under a towel. I think kids from ages 5-13 should be completely excluded from public showers. So what if the chlorine ruins their hair. Get dry, put on a cover up and get home. No one really follows that rule about showering before using the pool. Just toss a few sprinkles of water on your hair.
My kid is 7, and she already figured out that if she wears shorts under her school uniform she has no problems with anyone seeing her underwear. | |
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| How old before you let your kid use their own changeroom for swimming?
Posted: 5/17/2008 3:43:32 AM | I am with waysouth on this one...my kids all simply wear their bathing suits under their clothing when we go to the public pool and we avoid the changing rooms as much as possible (both of the public local ones that we have gone to require you to walk through the changing rooms to get to the pool, and my son is not allowed in the womens since he is over the age of 6, we have rushed through and met at the other side when we have gone). We can wait the short time to shower when we get home, it really isn't that big a deal.
As for when I would let him alone in a changing room to change or shower like in a pool setting...well he is 9 now and it will be a few more years to say the least and the same would apply to my girls. Any place that supports "public nudity" without their own adult supervision is not a place for my children. I honestly don't think it is a big deal if someone walks from the shower to a changing room, locker, or whatever other area IF everyone in the facility is of sound mind and such...but with maybe 200 or more swimmers at a pool during a day (just throwing a number out there), how many do you think could be a pervert of some sort? To me it would only make sense that such a person might enjoy the locker rooms/changing rooms/shower areas as there might be a chance of finding a victim in a compromising situation/state of dress...or even just masturbation material. Yes, I realize that it often doesn't take nudity to get a pervert excited but the situation of having vulnerable children there without supervision is just asking for trouble IMO. | |
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| How old before you let your kid use their own changeroom for swimming?
Posted: 5/17/2008 5:13:31 AM | I'm lucky in that I have 2 public pools within a 30 minute walk of my house. One has family facilities and the other changing rooms on pool side.
Shower before you go, then it's just a case of rinsing your feet of street dirt before you get in. Shower again when you get home to rinse out the chlorine. If you put vaseline (petroleum jelly) on you hair before you swim, it protects it from the chlorine anyways.
It's public loos at train stations and such like that worry me most. Figure both I and my son know how to holler and I'll just have to do lots of hovering outside the men's doors fairly soon. It's not ideal that's for sure. | |
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| How old before you let your kid use their own changeroom for swimming?
Posted: 5/17/2008 5:16:43 AM | When we do the pool, my kids wear their suits under their clothes. We use the family room (which should really be much larger!!!). I have two and they are goofy kids. Far too interested in playing instead of getting ready. Even with me right there pushing them to get dried off and dressed it takes about 20 min longer then necessary.
Public washrooms... I have started allowing them to go together to places like Walmart, but I insist that they use the one at the back of the store near layaway and I always wait outside the door. It's less busy then the ones at the front of the store, and I'm not above going in if I think they are taking too long.
Whoever said there are less female pedofiles in the ladies is only partially correct. While men are more likely to assault children, check the news over the last couple of years to see that there are more and more women who are being accused and found guilty of this crime.
I'm a parent and regardless of what gender my children are, I will always worry about their safety.
10-11 yo children of the opposite gender of the parent are too old to be going into the change room with the parent... most places have family rooms tho, and that's the option I'm most comfortable using. | |
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| How old before you let your kid use their own changeroom for swimming?
Posted: 5/17/2008 10:13:01 AM | | Next time you travel to Europe you willk be amazed how natural such things are going there. Not only in a child department but adult department also. All those nice saunas and etc where all people togethre naked enjoying from 1 to 79.....And no comments, complains just relaxing... | |
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