| Will i Ever Find True Love?
Posted: 8/10/2004 12:15:18 PM | NIce Guy Here) im quickly loosing faith in the fact that i will ever meet a normal female, i seem to be attracted to syco`s that have bi-polar disorder or other metal issues and im continually being hurt!
i fear it my be too late i know have to much baggage ,no normal woman would except me with the baggage i have!
i was married for 8 years, she left me suddenly without notice, for a man with money, we have 2 young children together, 8 months after the seperation i meet another girl that seemed to be normal, turns out she is extremely controlling and verbally abusive, i stayed with her i think because i really needed someone on my side??now i have 2 children by her , another new house , im financially stable ect.... except im extremely unhappy and not in love with her, she is verbally abusive all the time, and sometimes phisically, what i really need is in my profile. please help i need some good advice!
im a real good family man. i do not drink or do drugs or even smoke. im a firefighter, business owner and carpenter please help! | |
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| Re: Will i Ever Find True Love?
Posted: 8/10/2004 1:20:05 PM | Hey man, the best advice i can give you is to get out of the relaionship and find your self. You spent all that time with a bipolar disorder person, its not a easy thing to do, i was with mine a long time and the same thing happened. What you need to do is get by yourself bro, stop thinking you need some one when you dont. You need to discover who and what you are with out having the other person there period. Till you do that you are not going to know who or what you are or be happy. And how can you expect a woman to know who you are or love you when you dont know or have a idea yourself. I know this sounds like I am being mean and uncareing but it is far from that bro, you need to take control of your life first, you are not going to be a great father untill you can come with the reality that you can make it by yourself. All the other stuff is just water under the bridge, find yourself, and then go be a great family man to your kids. Then some one will notice you and you can start a relationship off right, cause you will know yourslef. Bipolar people tend to steal that from people and then try to continue to control them, you cant let that happen. I told mine good by, went and found my self and now i can be the father I always dreamed of having to my babies. Cause they are what is important, not having a some one by yourside. That is just a added feature after wards. Hope this helps clear your mind set up some, you are in distress and living with a bipolar will cause you not to see certain things, good luck to you and may you have the strength to find yourself, cause with out that , who truly are you.
Gado
Cant never Could, Wont never Will ! | |
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| Re: Will i Ever Find True Love?
Posted: 8/24/2004 7:44:59 PM | you poor thing... you need SLEEP! youre a firefighter , a business owner and a carpenter...??
AND A PARENT? IF I HAD A GOLD STAR, I'D GIVE YOU ONE...
ok , you need to be YOu, get YOU together... the fear and frustration may be overwhelming but you dont need garbage in your life,...
ive learned its better to be alone than miserable ....
yes we can be miserable alone, but for the "right " reasons...
PLEASE dont think you HAVE to have someone by your side/ in your life to be complete...
be you first, be a dad, and THEN "share" YOU.......
later! (and with a hug...)
blondago56/mary m. | |
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| Re: Will i Ever Find True Love?
Posted: 8/24/2004 9:26:44 PM | | I know the feeling of thinking omg can I only fall for women who are crazy. I actually was interested in a girl and within 6 months she carved her arms up and was placed in a psych ward. I didn't put her there she had so much self doubt she was unable to see what I could offer. You do have allot of baggage from your description. Got money get yourself fixed so you don't have any more children with women that should be on medication. That would be a goal if I was you. That is unless you really enjoy paying for child support. Try some kinda marriage counseling if you really did care for this woman you are currently with. Sometimes people don't know how insensitive and stupid they are till they are faced with it. Maybe thru laying out all the things that are going on maybe you can fix whats wrong instead of going online and venting about it. Why are you in a singles site if you are really trying with the woman you are currently with? Maybe thats why the first one walked off? If I knew you were scouting for chicks on a singles site while you bad mouth me while I just feed and took care of your kids. I would be allot more than verbally abusive to you for sure. Man you got 2 reasons to make things work out with this woman your 2 kids with her. When you bring a child into this world you have the responsiblity to not just give them things but to give them a home with out yelling. Don't you owe your children that? So many people are so quick to want to give up and start over why not clean up your own backyard or at least you can say you tried instead of bailing. My uncle said something a few weeks ago the first time your a victim the second time your a participant. Falling in love with the idea of love is one the biggest mistakes people make. They see it in movies and it makes them feel all warm and fuzzy guess what its a movie it was successful that's what it was supposed to do. Love is allot more than just an hour and half of looped happiness. It's pain anger struggle and its making an effort to make things work. Are you? | |
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| Re: Will i Ever Find True Love?
Posted: 8/25/2004 12:53:50 AM | | be like me and go live your life, be dependant on no one and have as much fun with your kids while they can! it'l come natuarally! try to hard and you will end up with the crazee one's cause you are afraid to be alone! but now i can walk down the street and smile and not dread going home! yipppeeeee! do it for the kids!!! | |
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| Re: Will i Ever Find True Love?
Posted: 8/31/2004 5:49:25 PM | Based on what you have written I believe the problem seems to be with you.
You ended one bad relationship and ended up in another one almost as bad right away.
Some people have a problem living alone, this is know as dependancy. The last thing you need right now is to be looking for some one else to fill your needs. This wouldn't be fair to anyone. Do yourself a favor and get some counseling, so that if and when you are free from your own imposed misery you will have a better chance for happiness. Focus on what's important. Your children! Stop wallowing in your own self pity and take the time to make them feel like your 100% there for them. If your wife is verbally abusive buy a small tape recorder and play back her own words back to her. Sometimes people with this type of behavior have no Idea what they sound like or how they are acting. Think of it as a wake up call for her and for you. Tell her this type of behavior has to stop and you won't tolerate it any more. If she wants to repair the marriage she will consent to counseling herself. if she doesn't care either way I would suggest you keep the tapes for future divorce court.
Think of someone other then yourself and do yourself a favor and don't drag another woman into your situation. Any woman that accepts this situation can't be all that mentally stable anyway. If you were looking for some pat on the back and ra ra forget it, truth is sometimes stranger then fiction.
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| Re: Will i Ever Find True Love?
Posted: 9/6/2004 2:39:51 PM | | I think you will find True Love. Just hang in there and someday she will come. I have to keep hoping because I know I always find the losers too. Good Luck | |
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| Re: Will i Ever Find True Love?
Posted: 9/6/2004 3:18:25 PM | | Look at things this way: There's only so much bad luck in the world.....I've used up lots...the good has to come soon. | |
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| Re: Will i Ever Find True Love?
Posted: 9/7/2004 4:20:21 AM | | I'm right there with you, Damiana. Lots of bad luck used up here, too. Stupidity, too, for that matter. Maybe it's like the chaos theory. I'm stupid over here and someone finds true love in China. | |
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| Re: Will i Ever Find True Love?
Posted: 9/7/2004 12:41:06 PM | | Just when I think I've used up all the bad luck, something else happens. It's not us, I believe we may be people with old fashioned morales trying to get along with a society of people who are morally bankrupt. The problem is trying to see through all the lies while being swept of your feet so to speak. I think I am going to start asking allot more questions about dating histories, that way I'll know if I am going to be the flavour of the month, or if the guy is serious about making a go of it. I am 37 and I have just figured that out. | |
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alura2
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Joined: 3/18/2004
Msg: 13 | |
| Re: Will i Ever Find True Love?
Posted: 9/7/2004 2:03:55 PM | ok here i go.. a hubby walking out on me and 2 young kids...all alone..raising them o n my own..not having any hope..feeling the who wants me ?? crap going through my head...
i felt hopeless..and not worthy and tarnished becasue i am a single mom. I felt that my angels were almost like burdens and i was ashamed of my life. I was so scared that i would never find anyone. I was so busy with life...and my family..and i would meet guys who siad oh you have kids..too bad..
then i came here.. and started meeting ppl..some where good some were bad..them lo and behold..i got the opportunity to go to to a music fest. My ( bf) posted at the same time looking for ppl to go to merritt music fest with. He won tickets to go. We answered eachothers posts..started yapping about the festival...and we met.. we liked eachotehr right way. Him and i and my sis in law we all went up to the festival..and had a absolute blast. We fell in love up there.
We met by fluke..we werent even looking for anyone..but it was pure fate. Now we are deeply in love..and are already promised to eachother and know in time we will marry.
hes on this site his name is TRIKERJR..and he is the love of my life... :banana::jumper: | |
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| Re: Will i Ever Find True Love?
Posted: 9/7/2004 2:30:20 PM | | That's great, alura. I've done this stuff for quite a while, but this is the first site that I've found some really great people. Sure, all the people on the forum are miles and miles away, but I'm sure I'll eventually meet someone close to me that I truly click with. You just have to not lose faith that you deserve someone that's right for you. That's such a chore sometimes for me, but I know it'll happen. I just hope it happens before I'm 30. Never thought I'd make it to 25 single. Here's to finding the love of my life. That goes for all of you people here. The ones that are still looking, anyway. | |
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alura2
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Joined: 3/18/2004
Msg: 15 | |
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alura2
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Joined: 3/18/2004
Msg: 17 | |
| Re: Will i Ever Find True Love?
Posted: 9/8/2004 10:05:22 AM | thank you everyone...we are the boneafide happy story on this site. It does work if you let it happen.
Sometimes all it takes is patience...and beleive it can and will happen. If you have an open mind..and meet ppl as pals..who knows what can happen??? | |
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| Re: Will i Ever Find True Love?
Posted: 9/8/2004 12:02:18 PM | | True. I'm usually not much on the patience thing when it comes to relationships, but the longer it is, the easier it becomes to just relax and take my time, date a little bit, and see what happens. Just the fact that it's been over 8 months since I've been in a relationship is a record for me. | |
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| Re: Will i Ever Find True Love?
Posted: 9/8/2004 11:50:52 PM | | I actually don't believe in it anymore, but like all others in my state of mind...here I am...trying to find a new way to acquire what probably isn't there in the first place. Happy days! | |
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| Re: Will i Ever Find True Love?
Posted: 9/9/2004 1:24:40 PM | | I went through a stage of a few months like that, NearLife. It passes. Relationships are always risky. You're effectively putting your heart out on the chopping block and hoping that they're on the same page you are. Don't worry, if you're sincere and treat women with the respect they deserve (just as we, too, deserve respect), you'll find the right person for you. It just takes a little (or a lot of) patience. | |
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| Will i Ever Find True Love?
Posted: 9/12/2004 12:21:50 AM | | Yes, you are.....love comes but never try to find it. Love does not have to comply with ones standard...what you like....what you wanted to be. Love is how to appreciate what somebody else have. Love is not an objective, where you have to reach for it. Love never complains, never criticizes, never compliant.....true love comes from the bottom of one's heart and it never ask for any reciprocals.....true love comes natural...be yourself & everybody around you will notice...... | |
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