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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > How do you tell if the guy your dating is no longer interested?      Home login  
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 AngelaDawn
Joined: 3/10/2006
Msg: 1
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How do you tell if the guy your dating is no longer interested?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
This guy I knew called me up and asked me out on a date. We've been seeing each other since October.He broke things off because he said he needed time to find himself again.Cool, I let it go then, a month later he called me up and we started talking again.We started seeing each other regularly.He'd call me a least two or three times a week, but ever since my birthday he's slowly stopped calling. We've still been seeing each other but the last couple of times I've stayed with him I noticed a lot of email addresses written down that were well you can guess.Lonley beauty etc... I'm really confused because we have a lot in common and just as I was starting to allow myself to fall in love with him, BAM all this started happening. I kinda wanna call him on it. Tell him how I feel but now I don't think I should. I'm 27 and tired of ending up S.O.L. I'm all ears any advice on what I should do?
 Butterfly92
Joined: 10/6/2006
Msg: 2
How do you tell if the guy your dating is no longer interested?
Posted: 3/16/2007 8:32:44 PM
If you're asking, he's probably not interested. Get on with your life. See him if he amuses and entertains you, but continue looking. Good luck! You're the only one who can decide what to do. It's your life. Listen to the voice inside your head, and follow your heart.
 xodara
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 3
How do you tell if the guy your dating is no longer interested?
Posted: 3/16/2007 8:39:11 PM
Yea, if you need to ask, then...move on.

If you're comfortable enough to "stay with" him, you should be comfortable enough to ask him what's up.

Be straight forward. What else have you got to lose?

Don't allow him to make a doormat out of you.
 feathers
Joined: 7/19/2006
Msg: 4
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How do you tell if the guy your dating is no longer interested?
Posted: 3/16/2007 8:48:03 PM
i agree , been there move on
 unabashed
Joined: 12/3/2006
Msg: 5
How do you tell if the guy your dating is no longer interested?
Posted: 3/16/2007 9:27:26 PM
I hate to be the one to tell you this, but it sounds like your the flavor of the week. If you honestly don't know if he digs you, he doesn't. I wouldn't confront him about the e-mails. It's just e-mail man. That is also a very typical "snoopy chick" move. You know when a man truly wants you, he will let you know every single time he sees you, when he kisses you, when he looks at you. Trust me, you'd know. By all means, tell him how you feel and ask him to tell you. No sense in avoiding it. It's much better to find out he is an ass now, rather than 6 months from now. Be honest. That is the best thing you can do in any situation. There is no reason not to tell him what you need. You can't avoid serious stuff like this in a relationship. Be prepared for dissapointment, sorry. From what you have said, it doesn't sound good.
 judythecuety
Joined: 2/2/2006
Msg: 6
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How do you tell if the guy your dating is no longer interested?
Posted: 3/16/2007 10:40:32 PM
People who drop you are not into you..
 AngelaDawn
Joined: 3/10/2006
Msg: 7
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How do you tell if the guy your dating is no longer interested?
Posted: 3/17/2007 9:59:32 AM
I wanted to clear something up. I wasn't snooping the paper was just lying on the table. But, Thank you for the advice..
 sexy_temptress
Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 8
How do you tell if the guy your dating is no longer interested?
Posted: 3/17/2007 11:02:59 AM
It seems to me that he is NOT ENTIRELY ready to be taken off the market. The " break up " around October-November time ( as you indicated ), seems to be that he could've been dating someone new etc. It's been 5 mths and nothing has materialized into anything solid. Men are simple, logical and straightforward creatures...if they want to be with someone, they will be. In other words, he's not interested ENOUGH to commit.
 giggleparts
Joined: 10/23/2004
Msg: 9
How do you tell if the guy your dating is no longer interested?
Posted: 3/17/2007 11:17:38 AM
I'm honestly not sure... I don't have any direct experience with this kind of behavior...

I think what might be going on is, he might have pushed you to the back burner because he had something else on the horizon. A month goes by, maybe it isn't working out like he hoped it would, so he calls you. Maybe what he is thinking is something along the lines of keeping you on the hook... so, you don't go away, but he can cast, reel, or cut that line at his leisure.

I honestly don't understand some people... If I'm interested in someone, I show it. I don't act like a capricious ass.

I don't think anyone, at any age, is energized by being SOL...

I think you need to lay it out for him... You can't be in this state of limbo, because it's just not healthy. Don't be overly emotional - even if it's causing a lot of stuff to boil up emotionally within you - because it will be better if you are very even in tone and intent. If he wants to pursue a relationship with you, his attitude and demeanor toward you will change.
 merriemoe
Joined: 5/25/2006
Msg: 10
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How do you tell if the guy your dating is no longer interested?
Posted: 3/17/2007 11:42:52 AM
I think the above poster is probably right. He probably started seeing someone else and it eneded up not panning out, hence him coming back. I'm sure he has some feelings for you to spend the time he has with you, but perhaps just not enough to stop looking elsewhere. I hope that's not the case Hun but chin up and be careful with your heart. Trust your instincts, wish I had done more of that myself . Happy St Paddy's day!
 fuzzle
Joined: 4/27/2006
Msg: 11
How do you tell if the guy your dating is no longer interested?
Posted: 3/17/2007 11:45:48 AM
I wouldn't even bother talking to him about it, if he was interested he'd be acting like it and talking to him about how you feel isn't going to get him interested. Don't stick around just because you don't want to be SOL again.... that's a poor reason to stay in a relationship and an even worse reason to let someone treat you like sh*t.

Sweetheart, spend your energy looking for someone who actually is interested in you and treats you like he is. Until you find that guy, enjoy the extra time you have to spend on yourself and with your friends and appreciate all the great things about being single. Good luck fishing!

PS. I think merrimoe is exactly right about what's up with him...
 passionatelyme
Joined: 2/14/2007
Msg: 12
How do you tell if the guy your dating is no longer interested?
Posted: 3/17/2007 11:58:24 AM
AngelaDawn...you look like a very pretty girl with a good head on your shoulders...forget the email addresses and focus on the "on again off again" attitude....

Dont you think you deserve more than this? I think you do...you need to start believing this too -wether you tell him or not....its time to make yourself not as "available" to his whim....

My two cents


 crevette delicieuse
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 13
How do you tell if the guy your dating is no longer interested?
Posted: 3/18/2007 2:04:39 AM
It sounds like you already have your answer. You say that he has less frequent contact with you. You have already broken up once. It sucks when you allow yourself to be vulnerable with someone who doesn't return your affection. Listen to your gut. Kick him to the curb,darlin'.
 WakeDan
Joined: 8/16/2006
Msg: 14
How do you tell if the guy your dating is no longer interested?
Posted: 3/18/2007 2:07:00 AM
yah i 3rd the motion that he was working on someone else and it didn't work out.

ive never understood women who believe the 'i need to find myself' line after only dating a couple months. if he was 'lost' he wouldnt have asked her out in the first place.
How do you tell if the guy your dating is no longer interested?
Posted: 3/18/2007 6:06:01 AM

I think the above poster is probably right. He probably started seeing someone else and it eneded up not panning out, hence him coming back. I'm sure he has some feelings for you to spend the time he has with you, but perhaps just not enough to stop looking elsewhere.


I think this is the consensus here.
I've been in this situation before,and believe me,it hurts like hell to find out
someone is treating you as 'second best'.
You really do deserve better than this!
As for the SOL part,you'd be more SOL if you stay in the situation.
It simply isn't worth it.
 EastSideEddie
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 16
How do you tell if the guy your dating is no longer interested?
Posted: 3/18/2007 8:10:45 AM
I have to ask this and sound like a broken record because I ask this a lot. In so many cases, it is an appropriate question.

What are you losing? A guy who doesn't want to be with you? Is it the challenge and the hunt that makes people keep pursuing someone that says they do not want to be with them? Testosterone? Estrogen? What is it?

Over is over. Say goodbye and move on.

Hasta manana....!!!
 merriemoe
Joined: 5/25/2006
Msg: 17
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How do you tell if the guy your dating is no longer interested?
Posted: 3/18/2007 9:39:31 AM
None of us want to be with someone who doesn't want us, I think that's a given. I believe it's more sadness and regret for what we hoped it would be. My most recent heartache has finally driven it home, you hove to be more careful and keep your cards to yourself much longer. I had one dissappear than come back. Thought things were going fine, then the "back handed break up".
It hurts to find out you were probably choice #2
So lets all be more careful next time. Trust has to be earned
cheers
 Rebellious
Joined: 2/5/2006
Msg: 18
How do you tell if the guy your dating is no longer interested?
Posted: 3/18/2007 10:28:57 AM
Some guys use the "push her away" method as natural selection. It's a way to find out which one likes you the most. I'm generally indifferent towards women, but there was one that would not go away, she loved me unconditionally and I married her. The best decision I ever made. If he's truly affectionate towards you, don't give up on him yet. He may be very "interested", some guys just don't chase.
 giggleparts
Joined: 10/23/2004
Msg: 19
How do you tell if the guy your dating is no longer interested?
Posted: 3/18/2007 11:35:05 AM

Some guys use the "push her away" method as natural selection. It's a way to find out which one likes you the most.


Huh? Did I miss something in my 'how to be a big strong guy' training? I need an up to date manual... with that little errata section..
 giggleparts
Joined: 10/23/2004
Msg: 20
How do you tell if the guy your dating is no longer interested?
Posted: 3/18/2007 11:36:23 AM
This is not a, not chasing thing, this sounds like a straight up, I'm a douche bag, kind of thing...
 lfrl
Joined: 3/30/2006
Msg: 21
How do you tell if the guy your dating is no longer interested?
Posted: 3/18/2007 12:12:44 PM
First of all sit quietly and ask yourself if he is still interested in you. Go with your gut!!
It's also called automatic answering. Secondly, read the signs he's putting out there as well.
 2pathscrossing
Joined: 2/18/2007
Msg: 22
How do you tell if the guy your dating is no longer interested?
Posted: 3/18/2007 12:49:25 PM
"Rebellious, I can't understand that one". If a guy pushes me away then this means he is not interested. Enough said... even this would damage my ego a little. After the third time I would need to get my head examined for going back for more. What am I, a glutten for punishment? I don't like being tested.
 aventine
Joined: 9/22/2006
Msg: 23
How do you tell if the guy your dating is no longer interested?
Posted: 3/18/2007 1:02:15 PM
Hello?? Communication??!! When we start to "intuit" things we generally assume things that we shouldn't...or not. Only way to know is to ask.
 flareheart
Joined: 2/25/2007
Msg: 24
How do you tell if the guy your dating is no longer interested?
Posted: 3/18/2007 1:21:26 PM
Well as a guy I could give you advice. It seems to me that he's afraid of commitment in any kind of intimate/companionate relationship. Most likely because he hasn't "matured" emotionally all the way yet. You should express to him how you are feeling. It's very healthy to do so and perhaps, if he's not the one for you at least you helped him and yourself grow a positive emotional foundation by doing so, so when in future relationships you better experiences to draw from.

Just remember to think about yourself first and what you want before putting other people's feelings in the way.

Hope that helps...

Take care,

Good Journey.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 25
How do you tell if the guy your dating is no longer interested?
Posted: 3/18/2007 1:35:05 PM
I think you just need to come out and tell this guy "hey, this relationship isn't working for me, therefore we can no longer continue to date". It's that simple. It doesn't put him on the defensive, and you don't owe this guy a long winded explanation. Don't call him, don't email him, etc. Just tell him IT'S OVER!

The thing you need to ask yourself "am I willing to settle and continue to put up with this, or do I deserve better"?
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