| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 3/18/2007 10:53:41 AM | | Honest answers please? It wasn't something I thought about much before, I mean, 2 consenting adults, why not? Oh and I don't believe it's any different if you're female or male. The idea that it's 'ok for men' is fine with me as long as it works both ways! Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I always have sex after a first date. Anyway, half of me thinks... if a guy really didn't respect me because we had sex on a first date then I would happily never see him again but part of me does care how I'm perceived so your thoughts please? | |
|
| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 3/18/2007 11:05:21 AM | Your question is incomplete. You're asking if sex on a first date is a bad move.
Why are you pre-assuming that sex on a first date is a bod move in the first place? A bad move in what context? | |
|
| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 3/18/2007 11:13:58 AM | | I'm not pre-assuming it's it a bad move, in fact it's something I have done a number of times without really thinking about it. I'm asking in hindsight how men might perceive me having done this. Would most men think I'm an easy lay I suppose? | |
|
| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 3/18/2007 11:29:57 AM | | I suppose I am sort of more concerned as to what you are trying to produce in your life right now? Why is it important for you to ask what others think or perceive about YOU? To me this seems a more important issue at the moment. | |
|
| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 3/18/2007 11:38:44 AM | | It's not as deep as it sounds. Just a straightforward question. Why is it important? I am curious, it's not unnatural to reflect on ones self is it? Well yes, I am asking how men perceive me but only around that one particular issue specifically and you haven't attempted to answer my question either? | |
|
| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 3/18/2007 11:39:28 AM | | If it happened to me I would be stricken…in love…following you around like a poodle. Then after you got bored of me and tossed me aside I would hate you more than I hate anyone in the entire world. Thin line between love and hate. | |
|
| |
| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 3/18/2007 11:50:04 AM | I'm not pre-assuming it's it a bad move, in fact it's something I have done a number of times without really thinking about it. I'm asking in hindsight how men might perceive me having done this. Would most men think I'm an easy lay I suppose?
Probably already got your cell phone# scratched on a few restroom walls.
(While you might be a Hooligan ... I prefer to stop short of calling you a Ho) | |
|
| |
| |
| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 3/18/2007 11:58:16 AM | | I haven't quite got the hang of this yet - the answers were - to the first reply ie. it's both good and bad depending on the context ... thank you, that's pretty much what I think and to the comment that my phone number is probably scratched on a toilet wall... I guess he means yes, I look like an easy lay and thanks for the honest reply (though I should point out I'm not actually a prostitute who picks up strangers in bars) | |
|
| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 3/18/2007 12:23:18 PM | No. It isn't a bad move. I can think of few circumstances where it could be. You are right in that you can indulge yourself and if the dude doesn't like it, then he is a lesser being anyway. The only thing worse than one of those guys is a chick who worships at the shrine of her own snatch.
FWIW. I am distictly in the minority here. All of the maladjusted dogs and their mangina allies are going to say the exact opposite. It is my opinion that chicks who are, as they say, easy are better individuals in every way that means anything. They are kinder, more generous, more loyal, more ethical and more considerate. The other ones are not worth the dynamite to blow them to hell.
Go out. Enjoy yourself. Have fun. If some dumb ass isn't down with it then call him the next day and tell him you had a herpes outbreak. If some pinched sub-human female doesn't like it, then get her next boyfriend to ball you and then send her a home video of it. In short, tell them to stick it. | |
|
| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 3/18/2007 12:25:25 PM | I understand where your coming from Dolly ... and I don't wish to portray you as a prostitute.
I do however feel the general consensus among men privy to the knowledge that you put out on the first date ... or for that matter, men you may have done so with ... may well produce a fair assumption that your easy. And for this reason alone, are probably less likely to respect you.
The irony is that the rules are different for men ... who would seem to be immune from such stereotypical scrutiny.
(I'm not saying it's fair ... just saying inequity among the sexes is how it is.) | |
|
| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 3/18/2007 12:26:31 PM | | I would have sex with you on the first date if there was sparks. I would presume you were a slut though...but then I would be on e too, so...well...it usually means your both sluts if you have sex on the first date. I can disticitively recall one girl I slept with who wanted me to do it the first night we met...I didn't want to so I had to see a few times to warm up to her...then we did like a few weeks later...then I realized she was a slut. But I was being a slut too but not as much of a slut as if I had banged her on the first night we met. It was funny because I got turned off of her when I realized she only wanted the sex... | |
|
| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 3/18/2007 12:49:34 PM | | Well I did ask for honest, the replies are not too shocking so far I suppose. I still can't get my head around the fact that men are perceived differently for doing the same though. I personally wouldn't think of myself or the person I sleep with a slut for sleeping together on a first date. I'm not talking about one night stands with people I've only just met though. For instance, the last person I dated was for 9 months, I knew him from living near me for 3 years before we went out on a first date and slept together. I didn't go out with him on that first date planning to sleep with him but it felt right! | |
|
| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 3/18/2007 12:58:14 PM | | sex on first date - well both had it so how does one person justify judging the other? just dumb in my book. i see lots of moralism on here about it but hey, is 2, 3 4 dates really different? sometmes, 2 people just click and it happens. ive had sex on first date with women who i definitely wanted to see again - and not just for the sex. | |
|
| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 3/18/2007 1:16:38 PM |
For instance, the last person I dated was for 9 months, I knew him from living near me for 3 years before we went out on a first date and slept together.
Your example above sounds like someone who was a friend/acquaintance for quite a long time. And I don't particularly see any issue with that, nor would I think it made you 'easy'.
I think you have to put that in context, that a lot of times what people here think when they hear "first date" is "first IRL meet" (in real life). I mean, you're talking someone you've never seen before, and and in some cases (because people don't like 'wasting time' chatting online) they've only chatted with for a week maybe before meeting, so you really don't "know" the person all that well. This is the first time you've ever actually *seen* the person face to face, and many guys might find that 'sl*tty', just like they might find it that way if they walked into a bar and met a woman (perfect stranger) who slept with them that night. In that context, they might wonder "if she's that 'easy', just how many other guys has she just hopped into the sack with?" Now, a lot of guys will be perfectly ok with that because thats all they care about (ie "getting their d**k wet").
Me, if it was here on POF meeting a woman for the first time face-to-face, I would find it a bit of a turnoff to have a woman pushing to get me in bed that night. I'd probably turn her down, although while it might 'take her down a notch' in my eyes, it also probably wouldn't turn me off completely if we clicked well otherwise (which I would hope we did if she wanted to hop into bed with me). On the flip side, I also know from experience that women do *not* handle rejection well, especially in that regard, no matter the explanation women (in general) have the idea that men are 'walking hardon's' that'll screw anything, anytime, anywhere. Which again, might be true for some guys, but then again probably isn't true for the guys that are generally faithful to a woman.
You knew him 3 years before your date, and slept with him on the first date? Nah, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. You already knew him reasonably well I'm guessing before that, at least as an acquaintance if not as a casual friend. | |
|
| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 3/18/2007 1:45:17 PM | Dolly,
In some eyes, sex is like an act of ultimate connection - as I think some of the people who have commented on this thread are considering it. For others, its something that you do as almost recreation - to make you feel alive etc. I think you are in this catagory and I would consider myself to be too!
If I have a great date with someone, and it heads back home and things keep going - I'm not going to be the one to say "no - not on a first date". I wouldn't think less of a woman if she said that, however, I wouldn't think less of them the morning after if things did go well! I don't think it affects what sort of person you are - everyone has needs and urges! Some are more willing than others to accept that they do in my opinion!
If you are looking for a partner for life - then I guess you have to consider the "deep" side as some have offered. However - if you're young and single, looking for some fun - then I see nothing wrong with it.
If you still have a smile on your face, keep doing whatever you are doing and don't question it. Life is, after all, for living!
A | |
|
| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 3/18/2007 2:24:06 PM | | I wouldn't even WANT to date someone who'd be willing to have sex on the first date. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I want it to be something special, I want to be totally committed to someone before I think about sleeping with them, and I want her to feel the same way. Yeah, I have urges, and, frankly, that's what my hands are for. I'm not the kind of guy who just sticks it in whoever he can, and I'm not attracted to those kinds of girls, either. Maybe I'm the only guy in the world who feels that way, I dunno, but that's just what works for me. | |
|
| |
| |
| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 3/18/2007 5:44:35 PM | | It would be for me, because it would have to be her to initiate it, and my first thought would be if she was willing to do it with me, how many others came before me, so to speak....probably wouldn't be a second date. | |
|
| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 3/18/2007 7:06:25 PM | Christ, I know this is gonna come back and haunt me:)
Generally, ya. But if you meet and it's love (not lust) at first sight, then I don't think you could help it. I've never had love at first sight, but I can imagine it. | |
|
| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 3/18/2007 7:21:38 PM | I've heard about a study that suggests that women sleep with men on the first date when they don't see them as long term potential; they make the keepers wait.
I don't think ill of a woman for sleeping with me on the first date, even if she decides not to proceed to a second date. This isn't the Victorian Era. Getting all twisted in knots over sex kind of defeats the purpose. I think some of your one night stands may have lacked maturity. | |
|
| Sex on a first date? Is it a bad move?
Posted: 3/18/2007 7:36:39 PM | Is there anything wrong with it? No.
Is it a bad move? Only if you expect more from him.
If it's 2 consenting adults, whatever. But don't put any more attachments or expectations to it. It has no extra meaning, even if it is highly appreciated, or if it's wanted again or not.
That goes for him too. Honesty is highly important in these situations so that assumptions aren't made.
And neither side should be punished for attemping it. But, it's usually men that are punished for trying. | |
|
Home
login 
