| My man is addicted to computer gaming.
Posted: 3/20/2007 4:21:12 AM | | I am a 39 year old wife and mother. My husband is constantly addicted to computer gaming. We had been separated for six months, only for him to come back for a reconciliation. The first couple of weeks went splendidly, I was actually feeling a little confused and not sure of going through with the divorce. Into the third week or so, he had gotten the set up disc for an online game called WORLD OF WARCRAFT. What a mistake. He also started working third shift where he would work from 11:00 to 7:30, come home, go past me in the bedroom right to the computer and play this stupid game until 2:00 in the afternoon and THEN go to bed until an hour just before he had to go to work again for the next shift. This had gone on constantly for about two weeks before I confronted him with being on the game too much, not spending any time with me or the children. I would go into the computer room and woo him with my charms, only to be told that he is in a middle of a battle of some sort and can't leave/escape/press pause or anything. We hadn't been able to sit down to a dinner together, spend any time together as a couple or any quality time spent together. This schedule he kept also got into the way of any intimacy between us. We ended up in a huge fight and he left me again, calling me psycho, crazy, wacko and needing drugs, because I wasn't happy with the situation/his schedule. How would the other ladies/gentlemen here handle this? I am very upset that he is gone again, but I feel that I deserved the attention of my husband. He said he used the game as an "escape", escape from what??? If he was escaping from me and our problems, why did he come back to me in the first place? Was I right in confronting him about this, even though I had been a little more patient than I should have been? I really wanted to be with him and spend time with him and would have come to some sort of an agreement to a schedule. Then, I find out yesterday he is in here looking for women, 72 hours after he has left me. Maybe this was all about leaving me anyway? Any advice. Confused - Cheryl | |
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| My man is addicted to computer gaming.
Posted: 3/20/2007 10:34:33 AM | The last thing I want to do is be mean or nasty but...why do the two of you have a profile on a dating site? I mean to me that sounds counter-productive to a relationship! Know I am not saying itis OK to ignore your significant other by any means nor do I want to make it sound like it is your fault but from 7:30 till 2:00 what were you doing?
Were you in his face the whole time or did you just ignore him and sulk?or did you sulk for a little while and then go in there already worked up and upset?
Now if you did give him his space and handled everything tactfully and properly and he still had the attitude then screw him you and your children don't need him if he is that selfish! Good Luck | |
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| My man is addicted to computer gaming.
Posted: 3/20/2007 11:07:54 AM | | I don't believe that I sulked and confronted him already upset. I made little cute hints that I wanted to spend more time with him; brought him coffee and breakfast after work. However, when my attempts are constantly ignored or turned down, you get to feeling pretty bad and not wanted. I was always doing the initiating. I also work at home in the medical field, and wanted his friendship and companionship. I started this profile back when we were separated and had put it into hide mode when we were together, I was not actively pursuing relationships or "fishing" when he was home. I was committed to the reconciliation. However, he was still keeping in contact and "dating" behind my back, which I had found out when he was home. To be even more honest, he left me in the bedroom to see what was going on when our son was playing. This hurt very badly. | |
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| My man is addicted to computer gaming.
Posted: 3/23/2007 9:38:53 AM | I have experience in this. I am also addicted to this game ur hubby plays. Ive been playing for 2 years, I actually started back up 3 weeks ago after takin 3 months off to get my life straight and get a gf. World of warcraft is a game that takes up ur life leaving no room for sleep or relationships. His outbursts towards You come from the addiction and he needs serious help to stop this addiction because its over between the 2 of you. Recently Ive caught myself reverting to my old self becoming an ***hole and wanting to play more then be with my wonderful gf. I promptly go and hit my self with a frying pan to stop this lol( really I told her about my addiction and to hit me when I get outta line) for the most part I only play when she works or occasionally when she sleeps/naps after a long cuddling session.
All I can say is this addiction is real tough to break and it's all up to him. srry ur having to experience this | |
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| My man is addicted to computer gaming.
Posted: 3/23/2007 10:15:15 AM | | I can vouch for this as well. The addiction to online gaming is very real and it can be very serious. If he can't see that he has a problem and that he is neglecting his responsibilities then there is little that you can do to help him. | |
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| My man is addicted to computer gaming.
Posted: 3/23/2007 7:09:49 PM | It's not my buisness as to why you are on here .But is he using the game as an outlet to escape from the real world[could be pressure from his job or family issues with you] .The game you speak of and games like it[ draw you in and get you to imerse yourself into a character you create and name] .I myself have played a game called WARHAMMER 40,000 but my friends and I played this on planned weekends on a staged battle board,not on computers . So yes I think he has a problem and needs to get away from the gaming on the computer.
It is fun to play role playing games but reality of life with your family is much more important than any game you could ever play .
Try your best to get him some help ,think about it this way IT'S NOT ALCOHOLISM AND IT'S NOT DRUGS,NOR IS IT GAMBLING .It's a game HE REALY LIKES AND ENJOYS AND GET'S INTO THE CHARACTER .Only he has taken it beyond just being a game player and let it take him over .
If you have any value to what you hold dear and sacred to your marriage you'll try to get him help to bring him back to who he was. Or you will get an answer as to why he does it and move on ! . | |
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| My man is addicted to computer gaming.
Posted: 3/23/2007 9:58:00 PM | Thanks alot guys. Yes, it is an addiction and I have patiently tried pulling him away from this. I have even challenged him that if he got away from the game for a couple of days, he may be able to have fun and explore our relationship, i.e., intimacy, friendship, companionship. I feel that I was more than patient, yes he wasn't running around in the bars and was home when he wasn't working. But, he just wasn't putting forth any effort into the marriage. It hurt horribly when the man I truly loved was so distant into that game and just wasn't reciprocating my affections towards him. I spent a lot of time alone and doing my own thing.
**It's not my buisness as to why you are on here .But is he using the game as an outlet to escape from the real world[could be pressure from his job or family issues with you]. ** In an answer to this, we had been separated for some time (I built this profile during the separation, but had put it into hide mode when we were together and he put his into hide mode as well). When he left, I got back in here. He wasn't escaping from me as I would have been very happy to be with him if he would have just hit quit/escape or whatever to come and spend time with his wife. He is gone now, which he decided to do, and I need to move on. Its too late for us and the divorce shall be final in a month or so and with him here or gone, either way I am still alone. | |
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| I'm sorry.
Posted: 3/24/2007 11:28:11 PM | Cheryl0667,
This isn't your fault. Its a very new addiction, and its devastating to those its afflicts. | |
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| I'm sorry.
Posted: 3/25/2007 10:56:44 AM | | Thank you live with verve, it was hard. I am moving on and starting anew. Our divorce will be final in a month or so and I know there is someone out there willing to spend quality time with a lady who really appreciates it. Might be a needle in a haystack and may take years, but I plan to enjoy the journey and wherever it takes me. | |
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| My man is addicted to computer gaming.
Posted: 3/25/2007 11:31:01 AM | | sounds like things are just about over between u two. do u try and wear sexy things when u want his attention over the computer games. its ok if u dont answer that was just trying to give u ideals is all. but maybe u 2 should talk about calling it quits or whatever it takes. wish u all the luck whatever happens tho ok. | |
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| My man is addicted to computer gaming.
Posted: 3/26/2007 3:21:12 PM | | Online gaming addiction is a very real and very serious problem. You could compare it to smoking. I would say cancel the cable or take all the power cords for the computer and just phase it out of your life for a while. It's going to be rough but I'm a believer that you can't quit any other way than cold turkey. | |
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| My man is addicted to computer gaming.
Posted: 3/26/2007 10:43:32 PM |
Too late, we have separated and I am moving on.
How truly sad things should end in such a miserable way as two well-meaning and struggling folx such as you two (Trust me I lost it all right in it's infantcy with a gal I gave my heart to and she made mince meat of and mashed in my hair for extra effect,she lied to my kid and now we can't bring our hearts together except via webmail.,NO the internet is a TOOL not a plaything but when it is made to be as pure-entertainment,it becomes like a grandparent being pushed by a dictator to carry it's own weight over it's own head at a late age...Why couldnt you have insisted FAIR would've been YOU ALSO PLAY THE GAME UNTIL NOTHING GOT DONE around your place or made the point that if he was a MAN about it he'd consider working out specific mutually agrreable TIMING's wherein you BOTH could benefit. The male and female human being have physical and emotional needs,desires become confused and mixed-up therein and "Wallah" you have instant discrepantcys and beliefs from reactions amalgamated from times of misunderstandings or mutually-benefitting relations and feelings then get hurt or disuaded from their originating intentions and either a "fight" breaks out henceforth or else it gets "bottled up" and she (or he) go off "in search of" yet once again in their lives. All people can change but WILL they?
Just because HE was being craPPy doesnt mean he had to IGNORE your needs his desires will bite him on his behind one day maam. I could line up a score of computers and score or ladies and I assure you that those smiling or needing eye's and emotions of the woman would be quicker and in the long run ALOT more worthy than curling up inside some program as if it were a good book too good to put down as a severe storm or fire or flood or something were immenent to incur,I 'd find HER ( a physical entity) ALOT more worthy. Ever notice that the longer your point or relativity to others IS the less they adher to or acknowledge it's intent or outcome's desiring?! BLAH BLAH BLAH and oh,...HUNH? oh yea,yup,right,unh,hunh...definately...you said it,right. yup.yessir...lol.
Start writing a journal and then include all you "relic" thoughts and even the unthinkables therein...keep it for years,add to it...write a book. Hi. Hello. How ya' doon?
Anyhow; the world wasnt built in a day but while concrete has been made to float,we are well on our way to establishing an outpost on mars,maybe SOME people could benefit but I want to live where my heart is...can you see what I see? A star,A star,way up off and afar... | |
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| My man is addicted to computer gaming.
Posted: 4/1/2007 6:09:09 AM | | World of Warcraft sucks ass! I play City of Heroes, nothing wrong with being into video games, at least your man isnt hooked on strip bars, ever thought of it that wAY? | |
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