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| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 3/21/2007 9:47:47 AM | I'm not going to mention names, as I am giving this person an opportunity to explain the situation.
I was contacted last night, by someone local. Her profile says she's 30, thin, and has a couple pictures. She contacted me using the IM system on here, and we moved to Y-a-hoo IM. We talked, she showed me probably 15-20 pictures of herself via IM.
Something didn't quite feel right...that strange feeling in your gut, you know. I did a google search this morning on her Y-a-hoo ID, and it led back to a profile on here that hasn't been used since October 2006. The picture looks COMPLETELY different. Age is listed as 27, a few extra pounds. Google found it as she lists her Yahoo ID on the old profile.
I've been on dating sites long enough I should KNOW to expect some fakery, but from what I see and hear, it's usually guys that engage in it. It's worth saying, the different age or the different physical description, or the different pictures themselves aren't the issue. I've got no issue at all going out with someone with a few extra pounds. My big point is the leading with what (might well be) a fake profile, and if what I read here is correct, she'll show up looking like the other profile, and hope that I don't get angry with her changed appeance.
I don't get why people do this...unless they're just in this as a game. If you genuinely plan on meeting someone, why lie first? If you met someone, and it was clear they lied, would you give them a chance to explain, or would you immediately leave?
(Oh, and if this has already been discussed ad nauseum, my apologies) | |
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| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 3/21/2007 9:56:28 AM | I am sure its been discussed before but I know exactly what I would do if I met up with a man who was completely different then he had said on the internet. I would sit down ask him how he is doing, let him respond. I would then ask him to explain himself. Depending on what he says will determine wether or not I would continue the date or whatever it is
I think you should allow her a chance to explain herself before deciding she isnt worth a damn. | |
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| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 3/21/2007 10:07:14 AM | People playing mind games, trickery or whatever you want to call is - is not gender specific. Welcome to the wonder world of Internet Dating........Don't even try to figure it out - you can't.
Just move along to the next profile and hope that the woman you are speaking with is genuine. There ARE people on dating sites that are actually looking for something special.
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| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 3/21/2007 10:41:49 AM | Got 20 bucks? Do they? Then tell them you want to see them on webcam.
That negates any ability to fake out looks.
I wouldn't expect any man to meet me without seeing me on cam. Who the heck would be willing to waste their time when there is technology available that allows us to have a clear picture of who we are chatting with?
This isn't complicated people. Come on.
Spare yourself some agony by having a personal policy in place. It's called, "don't waste my time"...get real or get off my screen. | |
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| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 3/21/2007 11:27:32 AM | | We have all been there im sure. I had one that spoke as if she was as solid as a rock but in the end she was asking me to borrow money within a week of knowing her. And another that posts pics that really dont look like her in person at all with all the glowing green crap on them lmao. Stay positive as you said it was a year ago to a profile that is old. | |
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| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 3/21/2007 11:32:34 AM | It happens, man. Part of the game. Just like when you meet a girl at the bar who pretends she's interested in you so that you'll buy her drinks. Just like the guy who hits on the homely girl to get close to the cute friend.
People do it because they can, and because sometimes people suck. Add to that the degree of annonymity the internet offers. I mean, she wasn't lying to a real person, just a random name on her IM program. It could be she is insecure with her real appearance. In any case, just chalk it up to experience. You wouldn't really want to be with someone dishonest, or insecure would you? No sense getting ticked about it. People act crappy to each other all the time, always will. You can't change that. All you can do is do the right thing yourself.
Then ther is always the possibility that maybe she lost some weight and started taking care of herself better lately. You never know.
What concerns me is the fact that you went to all that effort to "check on" a girl you'd only chatted with for 1 evening. Sounds like their might be some trust issues there. I mean, if I found out a girl was googling me (man, that just SOUNDS dirty.  ) after 1 chat session, I'd be heading to the nearest exit! | |
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| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 3/21/2007 11:56:31 AM | well i have to say that ive had a similar experience, i wont mention names.
i was chatting to a guy for about 2 months, but during certain convesations he said things which didnt match with what he had said in earlier conversations. i carried on chatting with him until recently when i got a mail from a girl who had seen my testomonial on him, she told me things that he had said to her which matched up what he had said to me but he had told her his name was different to what he told me, i confronted him about all the things he had told me about himself, like where his rugby matches were being held, and the fact that there were no matches held by that team on that day, but he didnt even have the curtosey to reply?
so im with you on this one dave, why bother lying if you actually plan on meeting up with the person as the lie will be found out eventually, best just to be honest in the frist place! | |
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Algy
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Joined: 11/3/2006
Msg: 9 | |
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| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 3/21/2007 1:28:24 PM | I have been deceived !!!, I don't care about their physical appearance,but if they lie about it , than yes it would bother me. Same goes for their age,,,,I had a few ladies confess that they were a bit older just before I met them. I met them anyways and they looked great and were very nice women,,,
also,I have been reading some testimonials, that just don't fit the persons profile ex...I'm shy, quite and don't do the bar scene,yet in the testimonial it will say boy she likes to party and likes to dance all night,,,she is like a stick of dynamite!!! | |
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| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 4/2/2007 11:33:41 PM | Okay, a follow-up.
I finally got a chance tonight (online) to ask this particular person about this. She naturally denied it. She said she'd "deal with it"...and the offending profile was GONE within a minute of her saying that. While I don't doubt that the admin here are quick, I believe I know who deleted the profile...she deleted it, to remove the evidence.
So, anyway...I won't say who this is in public...but if you're going to be seeing someone in Atlanta, she's 30, thin, brown hair...and you're suspicious, message me. Assuming I don't break any terms of service in doing so, I'll tell you who this is...privately. | |
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| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 4/2/2007 11:46:58 PM | To answer the question about the person: some people do lose weight. So the photos may have been real. When you say the offending profile was gone, which one? POF or Yahoo? The Yahoo one may just have been out of date.
To answer the question in the subject line: I don't think it, I know it!  Such stories... I'm going to have to write a book, they're so rich...
It's a good thing I have good radar! And the vast majority have not been deceptive, so I guess I've been lucky in that way. | |
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| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 4/3/2007 12:14:15 AM | I have been baited and switched so many times that I might just write a book about losers on the internet....Why would you say you were single and your wife call me on monday morning crying? Why would you post a pic from high school when you are in your 40's now? I've only met one man that looked better than his picture posted.. Be yourself and you'll make a good impression. You don't have to be perfect or g0rgeous for someone to fall in love with you. I love a great personality more than anything.. And, always be honest. I can deal with anything but not dishonesty. barbie | |
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| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 4/3/2007 1:13:51 AM | "I have been baited and switched so many times that I might just write a book about losers on the internet....Why would you say you were single and your wife call me on monday morning crying? Why would you post a pic from high school when you are in your 40's now? I've only met one man that looked better than his picture posted.. Be yourself and you'll make a good impression. You don't have to be perfect or g0rgeous for someone to fall in love with you. I love a great personality more than anything.. And, always be honest. I can deal with anything but not dishonesty. barbie"
I dunno. I think most people look worse in photos than they do for real. As for posting recent pictures, obviously that helps alot. Oh lying is bad too heh. | |
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| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 4/3/2007 5:34:43 AM |
To answer the question about the person: some people do lose weight. So the photos may have been real. When you say the offending profile was gone, which one? POF or Yahoo? The Yahoo one may just have been out of date
I'm only talking POF profiles at this point, the Yahoo profile doesn't have any pictures on it.
I agree...people do change, but this was more than that. The entire facial structure was different between the two profiles...eyes, nose, mouth, the whole thing. I actually didn't think picture of the "heavy" profile were all that bad, she was still fairly attractive to me. But...it was just obvious that the pictures were not of the same person.
The "thin" profile is still active, she deleted the one I am calling the "heavy" one.
Besides, it is obvious that something does not match up...the age listed on the profile updates automatically, based on our birthday, I have to assume, and the "thin" profile says she's 30, the "heavy" profile says she's 27.
Nobody was harmed by all of this...but it is always an enlightening lesson that what you see isn't necessarily what is real. | |
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| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 4/4/2007 6:40:08 PM | | Okay, so, some people doctor themselves up because they feel they need to, for whatever poor pathetic reason. You know that, I know that, we all know that (well, most of us do, anyway). You caught one of them in the act. Good for you! Be happy you figured it out! Some people don't figure it out and end up in worse situations. So, now, move on. Why are you harping on about this one person, "giving them an opportunity to explain the situation" and so on? Why should you care, you know what I mean? I mean, I caught a guy once trying to grab my train ticket from the seat next to me. I grabbed his arm and said "Hey!" and he shrugged himself loose and kept on walking. There wasn't any need for him to explain anything to me. Didn't need to question the integrity of the train riding community as to why people do that. That was the end of it. I was just happy I caught him before he ran off with my ticket. | |
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| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 4/4/2007 11:22:42 PM | The first guy I met from here was a deciever.
He had no picture on his profile, although his profile stated he was athletic and worked out regularly at the gym. He had messaged me on here and we had moved to MSN messenger for the remainder of our chatting that nite. He didnt show me a picture of himself til the next day, well it was only a head shot and he had long hair (which I dont care for), he said it was an old picture and that his head was shaved now. So I thought ok, thats fine.
So we chatted awhile and even talke don the phone that week, and agreed to meet at a local pub, I was already going there with my girlfriend and wasnt really expecting him to show up. Well after sitting there at the pub for about an hour and a half, two guys walked into the bar, one was short and average build, the other was definitely morbidly obese and taller. The morbidly obese one turned and looked my way and started making his way over to the bar. My girlfriend said, "Oh God thats not him is it?". So then I figured well I better not be rude, so I went over there and asked if he was such and such, he said yeah.Anyway, he wasnt what he said he was in his profile and I was understandably disappointed. He looked like he was around 400lbs and his body was definitely not athletic in any way.
I dont know where he thought he had an athletic build....lol | |
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| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 4/5/2007 7:58:58 AM | | Yeah, I don't understand the point of deceiving people on the net. I mean, eventually if all goes well, you'll meet and one can see that someone has not been honest. And from my experiences, usually if a person lies very early in a relationship or a potential one at least, the lies won't stop and who wants to put up with that nonsense? | |
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| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 4/5/2007 8:19:28 AM | I just heard yesterday on Public Radio a talking head positing that lying is endemic in the American business community, and has a positive social element. He quoted a salesman who claimed that his pitch was "not lying, but creative truth management".
Let me say this about that, any time you encounter a "new morality", it's almost sure to be "the same old immorality".
This all goes to the basis of morality, and the oldest philosophical question, "What is the nature of the good?"
I believe "the good" is the positive, the healthy, the things that feed our bodies and souls. "The bad" then becomes "acts that are hurtful and destructive".
In my book, lying and cheating are just about as destructive as it gets where relationships between people are involved. No interaction between two people remains untainted once there has been a breach of trust.
Having said that, I do want to add this: I have an honest profile, and I don't pretend to be anything I'm not; but if I ever lose my excess weight and look more like Barbie as I did 20 years ago, I might be sluggish about changing my profile. It has been a real education these last few years, trying to meet a man who will like me for me. | |
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| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 4/5/2007 9:14:23 AM | Oh hell, I found this site because of a guy I'd met on a different site that was feeding a user from here just as much bullshit as he'd been feeding me. Hell, she's the reason I joined...he'd previously stolen her car and still had her keys, and having seen them, I registered and added her as a favorite so I could get her keys back to her later! Comparing notes with her has been entertaining, to say the least.
Of course people lie online! Whether on the internet, or in the flesh, people tend to be full of shit. Its just easier online..until it comes time to ante up and be the bullshit in person. | |
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| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 4/5/2007 10:02:04 AM | Deception? You mean there are people on here that lie about themselves?
Dare I add the few I have met so far: Guy #1 ~looked like his picture in person but didnt act his age (37), almost killed us on the highway and thought it was funny, acted more like he was 17.
Guy #2 Had no picture, was very romantic in his emails, very romantic on the yahoo messenger...we had alot of spiritual stuff going on, sent a picture from 10 yrs ago, said he looked about the same. When we met in person he DID NOT look like his picture, was balding, grayer and skinnier. Turned out to be a very ANGRY man and nothing like his profile said.
Guy#3~ claimed in his profile that he owned his own home and had plenty of free time for you, turned out that his MOM and DAD own the home and that his BROTHER lives with him and mom& dad visit ALOT so he really had NO free time. Funny thing is that his profile still says same shit....
Guy #4, most recent sent me older pictures, he didnt look that bad, then when we went to yahoo messenger he sends me more recent pictures and he is about 100 lbs heavier, no smile and no hair. Was more than willing to try the long distance relationship thingie, we talked everyday up until last week....his kids home on spring break....he never returned a phone call or email, including the one where I mentioned that I got extra money for a plane ticket for a visit.....
today, 3 days later he sends an im message saying the long distance wasnt for him (typical chicken shit male).....so as in HIS profile he claimed to be willing to work on a relationship and make it work....did I miss something here?
As for the other guys on here, most of the ones I send an email to because THEIR profile says they are honest, real, etc, dont respond back because they are looking for BARBIE and I am a BARBIE with a few extra pounds...so guys, change your profile if your looking for perfectionism..... | |
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cinder
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Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 24 | |
| Hmmm, deception? How many think you've been deceived on here?
Posted: 4/5/2007 10:17:30 AM | Yes i have had people give false pictures, lie about married status, lie about their height, etc.
Dont they know that if meet you will not trust them and things will not go any further, I have talked to quite a few people, seems this happens often | |
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