| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/23/2007 12:41:26 AM | Say you have been corrresponding with someone for a little bit, and you know a fair bit about them, and then decide to meet, either at a POF function or one on one.
How fast can you tell if there will be anything more than friendship?
How many need to feel the chemistry from the start? If it's not there, do you hope it will eventually materialize or if it ain't there from the beginning, it never will be, and that a pursuing a relationship with this person would be futile? | |
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rings
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Joined: 6/29/2005
Msg: 2 | |
| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/23/2007 12:45:34 AM | I can say for me ,it's either there right away or its not.
But there's a first time for everything. | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/23/2007 12:47:32 AM | In my experience, if I have been chatting with someone for sometime when we meet I know within the first few minutes if the chemistry is there or not.
Its no surprise that most people with some experience with this kind of thing, do not want to wait a long time before meeting. Months and months of online romance can be squashed in five or ten minutes. Better to meet sooner and then build a friendship or more from there, than to spend a lot of time in emails/messenger windows only to find out there is no chemistry. | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/23/2007 1:00:17 AM | | The Chemistry appears eventually .......Depends how fast I drink | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/23/2007 1:53:40 AM | Sometimes it can take almost an entire year. Not for the chemistry itself, but for a girl to clue in. 
I'm not very observant.
*heads off in search of the thermostat* | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/23/2007 2:08:48 AM | I once mixed ammonia with bleach...there was chemistry and I passed out, much like what has happened with some of the people I have meet on POF... | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/23/2007 2:29:11 AM | romance can be squashed in five or ten minutes.
Ya Whatever...
Gonna miss my Birthday
I DO celebrate, I wanna...
Why's the door locked, won't you please LET ME IN!
Come tomorrow I may have passed...
Let me put my Love into You Babe.
Call me...? Whatever. | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/23/2007 3:29:48 AM | Chemistry is there or not and usually - right from the start. I know it within the first 10 minutes to an hour depending on the guy's ease of talking. But within that first date I usually know but will sometime go on a few more dates second guessing myself, only to realize I was right from the beginning.
But that doesn't mean that during that screening process, one can't make great friends. I have great friends now...all I need is "MY Mr. Right" but not dying for it, it will come when it is suppose to!!! | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/23/2007 3:43:01 AM |
chemistry
If it's not there, do you hope it will eventually materialize
Huh?
I heard they have everything here...
You mean this isn't fricken EBay?!?
Awe damn... wrong site.
Sorry man...
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/23/2007 5:10:59 AM | I agree with frenchkiss.....at least we have lots of male friends from here, if nothing else...
oh .....and female friends...friendship chemistry, that's easy.
I have wasted hours of time talking to men, from far away...and have never met them yet...so yes, get your ass out there and meet them right away, I agree....then, at least, you'll know. | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/23/2007 6:16:34 AM | That depends.....
if I get a first look at Chumley and he is 40lbs heavier than his pics and sucking on a cigarette when his profile says non smoker, we are likely not even going to be friends
if he looks like his pics and we sit down to chat and he asks me if I like anal....not even friends
if he looks like his pics and isn't talking about sex but every second word is fvck....not likely even friends
if he looks like his pics and isn't talking about sex and the language is reasonable and he makes me laugh...and I am thinking "wow"
then he won't be interested in me so we'll likely end up friends
if he looks like his pics and makes me laugh but reminds me of my brothers or my son....then we end up friends
Generally, it is pretty obvious if I have any interest in more than buddies after about the first 15 or so minutes...but I think men decide at first glance
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/23/2007 7:33:05 AM | ^^^^amen Who_the_fox. Succinct. Direct. Funny.
I am probably too distracted and nervous, so I have to rely on whether it was fun or not. In the past,
before agreeing only to meet at functions, I endured a lot of coffee meets with people who did not look
like their profiles and did not seem very comfortable around people in general.
I have to agree with C_note, sometimes it takes me a longggggg time to figure it out. Sometimes it
is the reverse - I will have met someone - we hit it off, the attraction is there yet it never develops
beyond the friend stage.
I find relationships very confusing. (shrug) | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/23/2007 8:05:54 AM | I find relationships very confusing. (shrug)
I hear you there woman!
I find that within a few minutes, sometimes right at first eye contact (can't say at first glance.. lol) that I will know if there is at least that special attraction/chemistry.
Whether it developes into something or not, well that is where the confusing comes in..
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/23/2007 8:12:01 AM | yep has to be chemistry, and will know immediately if its just friends or might go further...have to agree with the majority here...lol frenchkiss, thumper, curiousgal but also agree with Fox...lol... men seem to know by looking at a pic... | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/23/2007 8:39:35 AM | Agreed ... pics are a major contributor when it comes to selecting a potential mate! However if the pheromones are not compatible NOTHING will evolve from the meeting.
Nature has a sure way of making sure we are compatible in every way possible...have you ever observed a man /woman and felt attracted right away by the way they look?...made your way to them and all of a sudden the EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWW....factor came in????
you can't explain we you instantly dislike this person?...or ...you best friend is going out with someone who is not attractive but somehow...they are so in love?
Call it what you like...if someone isn't in to you.......well then just it's nature telling you YOU ARE NOT COMPATIBLE! Many people(including myself) have gone against their instincts and ended up with a failed relationship and a broken heart...MAMA NATURE KNOWS BEST! | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/23/2007 8:48:47 AM | I agree with you fiery fury and couriousgal!
Relationships are very confusing. Would it be
because everyone thinks so differently about
them?
For me, it's not an 'instant' thing that happens,
and at the same time it doesn't take long.
What seems to be instant for me is feeling an 'attraction'.
It can be a smile, eye contact, or body language.
I think that's where it 'starts' for me
Then if we have conversation, similar interests, laughs
and a 'comfortable feeling' along with that 'attraction'
around each other.....now we're
talking. If we don't - then I know we'll just be
friends..
How fast can I tell - depends on the situation.
Maybe its an evening out - or maybe bumping
into each other several times?????
I'm not confused one little bit, lol! | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/23/2007 9:11:48 AM | Hello
Yes body language can tell you alot right away.
I have seen total different kinds of people hate each other when met,then fall mad in love/married for 25 yrs later.
It would get boring fast if your lover was always shining bright in loves light.
That big shining light of attraction is not always burning at every moment.
Play Safe. | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/23/2007 9:30:21 AM | first glance... 2-3 seconds usually does it for me.....from that point...its do you see yourself with this person in the future....as a potential mate.,...or friend..........
.......................................................................................................................... | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/23/2007 9:40:00 AM | | I have been known to make up my mind, in as little as 30 seconds......fair? Of course not, but once I have made my decision......I haven't been able to get past it, no matter how much I wanted to. But it is not always this obvious......sometimes when I have been unsure, I've tried a second date, but my instincts were usually right on the first date and it was more a case of trying to talk myself into it. Having said all that, I do think it is possible for people to grow on you, especially when you are meeting them, as friends, rather than potential partners. | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/23/2007 9:42:00 AM | chemistry-schemistry.... if they have a nice bucket and don't say LIKE every third word, we're clear for take off......
But seriously folks, I think you know pretty quickly if you are attracted to someone PHYSICALLY, but that can change as they drone on and on about how "she did this and then he did that. Gotta have a brain too, but the bucket has to be fine also... ahh the canundrum | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/23/2007 9:51:38 AM | [I can say for me ,it's either there right away or its not.
But there's a first time for everything.]-rings
While I would've agreed with rings at one time, (usually I can tell if there's long-term potential,
immeadiately) I have twice been surprised by someone I met from online.The initial chemistry
was not that great, but because I already knew (& liked) so much about the person on the inside,
I chose to give it a little more time. For me, at least, chemistry is only partly physical. A part of
the attraction, is emotional/mental. And I think both aspects are important, in relation to a long-
term committment. As my mother used to say: "What's on the inside is equally important.
After all, in 50 years, you'll both be gray & wrinkled."
Thanks, Mom! ROFLMFAO!! | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/23/2007 10:58:07 AM | | Immediately for me most times, sometimes it takes actually meeting them in person tho. | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/23/2007 11:16:07 AM | Just go with the flow, and try not to fall head over heels in the first few encounters...
It's can often be hard to tell if/when people are being them selves; there are a lot of good actors out there... So *my* best advice is to be extremely cautious with any weirdos you meet off of this site because what's more important that your well-being?
NOTHING! Just play safe, and have fun! 
Don't premeditate, don't over-analyze, and stop worrying!! Stop thinking!!!
There is plenty of time. and there are plenty of people to go around...
make yourselves open and receptive to the abundance of the universe,
and your soulmate will fall directly into your lap,
if you ask me
S | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/23/2007 12:12:25 PM | | pretty fast ....by the amount of nose hairs and what is hanging off of them. | |
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| How Fast Can You Tell?
Posted: 3/23/2007 1:18:29 PM | **makes mental note to trim nose hairs**
If there's some electrical current in the air my built in antenna will possibly pick up the frequency. | |
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