| The Funniest Joke In The World! Seriously!
Posted: 3/26/2007 10:04:06 AM | Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"
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that is actually the funniest joke in the world, i made the effort in looking it up.
let me know if it made you laugh, or if you have a better one yourself!
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| The Funniest Joke In The World! Seriously!
Posted: 3/26/2007 3:53:43 PM | I saw a video on the net somewhere with this exact same plot! LOL! To watch it is funnier than reading it!!! Only wish I could remember where I saw it!  | |
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paul0
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Joined: 2/8/2007
Msg: 4 | |
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| The Funniest Joke In The World! Seriously!
Posted: 3/28/2007 8:10:55 AM | The Monty Python troupe did a skit back in the 70's . During WWII, the Allies developed the Funniest Joke as a weapon. It had to be written by several differant people because if you read the entire thing, you would die laughing. The joke gets printed in its entirety and drop over Germany.Of course we never know what the joke is, or we'ld be dead. i know it doesn't sound funny here, but if gat a chance to see the skit, it is some funny shit! Anyway, that is why no one knows what the funniest joke ever is! | |
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| The Funniest Joke In The World! Seriously!
Posted: 3/28/2007 12:47:10 PM | I've had many people exhale beer out their nose with the following joke:
A woman goes to a surgeon to get rid of her wrinkles. He tells her there is a new invention called "the knob" that gets installed in the back of the head. Any time you get more wrinkles, just turn the knob to tighten up the skin. She has it installed and everything is great for a year.
Then one day she comes back to the surgeon and complains about the bags under her eyes. He says "Let me take a look" then he exclaims "those aren't bags, those are your boobs!"
She responds "Well, I guess that explains the goatee!" | |
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| The Funniest Joke In The World! Seriously!
Posted: 3/29/2007 1:50:00 AM | A ten year old,and a four year old boy walk into a drug store.
The ten year old ,puts a box of tampons on the counter.
The woman behind the counter,asks.Are you buying these for your moma
To which the boy replies,nomam
Then the clerk asks,are you buying these for your sister.
To which the boy replies,no mam
The clerk replies in a strained voice.Then who are you buying those for?
The boy answers,for my little brother,pointing at his little brother.
The clerk a little red in the face.Says what the h*ll are you buying them for him for?
To which the boy replies sheeplishly,Because I saw the comericals,with them you can ride a bike,go swimming,Or even climb a mountain.He can't do none of that
mustride | |
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| The Funniest Joke In The World! Seriously!
Posted: 3/29/2007 3:02:02 PM | lol really good
Jack and jill were just married jack took off his trousers and said to jill..... try these on,
jill replys.. there to big. Jack sed ... Exatly i wear the trousers in this realationship and
allways will. Jill sed.... here try my knickers on.... Jack replys.... dont be stupid al neva
get into them.... Exatlly she says.... and you dont change your attitude ya neva fkin
will..... | |
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| The Funniest Joke In The World! Seriously!
Posted: 3/30/2007 6:12:28 AM | You nearly break my ribs! its really funny if Nobel Price is being given to Jokers! i would have nominated you.
sound so great anf funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| The Funniest Joke In The World! Seriously!
Posted: 3/30/2007 7:16:38 AM | lol good jokes keep them coming...
3 rabbits escape from the lab..
1st night they came across a field of carrots, so they munched all day and night
2nd day they came across some lady bunnies so they sh**g ed all day and night
3rd day they lay in a field.. the 1st rabbit said "think i will go back and munch some of those carrots"
2nd rabbit said" think i will go and sh*g some of those lady bunnies"
"what are you going to do bugs?"
"arh i think i will go back to the lab, im gasping for a ciggie!" | |
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| The Funniest Joke In The World! Seriously!
Posted: 3/30/2007 8:24:41 AM | the ex wife sed to me once......
i dont like the old car i want something that goes from 0-140 in three seconds...
so a bought the fat cow a set of bathroom scales..... | |
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| The Funniest Joke In The World! Seriously!
Posted: 3/30/2007 6:05:24 PM | The funniest joke in the world - a monty python sketch, unfortunately anyone who heard the joke died laughing, so not a living soul knows what the funniest joke in the world is. Who actually decided the hunter joke was the funniest joke in the world anyway?
Heres one I like:
Husband says to his wife 'Darling, why don't you ever tell me when you have an orgasm?'
She said 'I would but you're never there'  | |
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| The Funniest Joke In The World! Seriously!
Posted: 3/30/2007 6:18:30 PM | Ouch, thats just harsh. That would suck hearing it from my lady. Though would be amusing to see a guy's reaction having it said. I got one for ya.
This mother and her little girl were driving along when they suddenly got into a big car accident. The mother made it out ok but the little girl ended up losing her eyesight.
So after a few weeks, the mother tells the daughter that the doctors just invented a new miracle cream that can cure eyesight in one night. The little girl was estatic and pleaded the mother to go the the pharmacy and get this new micale cream. So the mother takes the little girl to the store and buy it for her.
They return home, and when the little girl is going to bed, the mother puts the cream on her eyes with some cottonball over them to keep the cream there. So the little girl goes to sleep.
The next morning, the little girl woke up, all excited that she would be able to see again, so she tears off the cotton balls and wipes here eye, yet when she opened them she still couldn't see. Immediately she began to cry.
The mother walks into the room and asks the little girl what is the matter. "Mommy, I still can't see! The cream didn't work!"
"I know dear," said the mother, "April Fool's!" | |
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| The Funniest Joke In The World! Seriously!
Posted: 3/31/2007 4:15:46 PM | an elephant meets a camel & asks.... why have you got tits on your back?
the camel replys..... thats fkin rich, commin from a fat c@nt with a****on his face.. | |
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| The Funniest Joke In The World! Seriously!
Posted: 3/31/2007 9:12:17 PM | OK, here's one for ya:
This penguin was out for a drive on a nice summer day. Had tyhe top down on his convertible really enjoying the countyry side. As he was approaching this small town, the car began running poorly, steam rising from ujnder the hood. So he pulls into the first garage he finds. asks the attendent to take a look at the car. Mechanic says that it will be a couple of hours. So th epenguin wanders off to kill a couple of hours and amuse himself. As it was getting rfatgher warm, he wandered into a grocery store to soak up the air conditioning. As he wandered around he spied the ice cream display. After glancing around he hopped up into it to really enjoy the cool. After a time he found that he couldn't resist the temptation and opened some of the cartons and eat. After glancing at his watch, he noticed thatg it had been a couple of hours and must hurry back to the garage. Upon arriving the mechanic stated , " it looks like you've blown a seal". The penguin immediately wipes his face off and says, : OH, No, that is Hagan Daus"! | |
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| The Funniest Joke In The World! Seriously!
Posted: 4/2/2007 9:40:58 AM | a like the 1 bout the penguin...... i heard it different....
an eskimo on his holidays in wales touring valleys and suddenly steam is pourin out from under the bonnet... he lifts the bonnet n has a look and a welshman approaches and has look too.... the welshman says ..... ooo boyo a think yarv blown a seal...
the eskimo replies.... at least i dont f@ck sheep........ | |
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| The Funniest Joke In The World! Seriously!
Posted: 4/2/2007 1:17:37 PM | A bus driver stops at a bus stop and a somewhat distressed looking Nun gets on. "Is everything ok Sister" asks the bus driver and the Nun replies, "I've just been to see the doctor and he informed me that I only have two weeks to live", "Jeez" says the bus driver and the Nun informs him that she is upset mainly because after twenty years of devoting her life to the Lord and remaining celibate all that time, she would like to experience the pleasures of the flesh before she shuffles off her mortal coil, but, does not know how to go about it. She looks at the driver and looks over each shoulder, notices that they are alone on the bus and asks the driver if he would be interested in engaging with her sexually as he is an attractive man and has an honest face. "Sure" says the driver and before he can say anything else she says that there are two stipulations. The driver nods and she explains that due to her wishing to remain a virgin when she dies- sex has to be anal, the driver agrees, and then she explains that he must be 100% unattached, unmarried, not dating, nothing- as her religious beliefs restrict her to respect the sanctity of marriage etc..
The driver informs her that he is not attached in any way and that he finishes work in about fifteen minutes and that he knows of a nearby lay-by where they can drive to and commit the capital act on the bus, the Nun happily agrees.
A little while later, after they have engaged in wild sex, the driver begins to blush and explains to the Nun that he was not completely honest with her, she queries this, and he explains that he is actually married with three kids. The Nun then informs him that she was not completely honest either, the driver asks her to explain and she says, "My name is Kevin and I’m on my way to a fancy dress party !" | |
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SaucyM
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Joined: 1/10/2007
Msg: 25 | |
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