| Why would someone close to you drink and drive if they knew you lost loved ones due to it?
Posted: 3/27/2007 11:15:00 AM | | Maybe this should be in broken hearts, but it has to deal with relationships....A lot of people on here know that I lost my parents to a drunk driver and being around Christmas it can be a pretty nasty time of year...but I have a few friends here and the other night one of them drank pretty heavy and drove...and she doesn't seem to understand or maybe she does and it doesn't fizz her that this hits close home to me, and I want nothing to do with people like that....my question is why would someone do something that could hurt someone that they care about, are we that self absorbed that we can't think of others? Probably they will delete this but just wanted to ask what gets into peoples minds to do that to begin with, but if you hang around with someone, fresh with a bad experience wouldn't you do everything in your power to make sure you don't bring up those thoughts? | |
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| Why would someone close to you drink and drive if they knew you lost loved ones due to it?
Posted: 3/27/2007 11:32:26 AM | Someone would drink and drive even though it upsets their friends simply because they have a problem with alcohol and cannot control themselves. Anyone who drinks responsibly does not drive a vehicle, they make provisions to transport them self safely by alternate means.
Their actions are not about you or a reflection on you, I have never known a practicing alcoholic who would put themselves or anyone else above their addiction. If they were able to do that they wouldnt drink in the first place.
Time to get some new friends I would say. | |
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| Why would someone close to you drink and drive if they knew you lost loved ones due to it?
Posted: 3/27/2007 12:28:56 PM | | I belive it is because some one has a drinking problem. Just like other people with problems with drugs and other things. They think they need it and until they relize they need help they don;t think about other peoples feelings. Have you thought about her I mean yes to you she drank and it bothered you because you had someone killed by a drunk driver but have you thought about them needing your help to get away from the drinking? | |
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| Why would someone close to you drink and drive if they knew you lost loved ones due to it?
Posted: 3/27/2007 12:29:15 PM | | I belive it is because some one has a drinking problem. Just like other people with problems with drugs and other things. They think they need it and until they relize they need help they don;t think about other peoples feelings. Have you thought about her I mean yes to you she drank and it bothered you because you had someone killed by a drunk driver but have you thought about them needing your help to get away from the drinking? | |
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Kame
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Joined: 2/5/2007
Msg: 9 | |
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| Why would someone close to you drink and drive if they knew you lost loved ones due to it?
Posted: 3/27/2007 1:01:03 PM | Well, I'm sure I will get a lot of bashing for this...but I am in America and I have the right to freedom of speech...so here it goes.
Let me tell you a little about drunks...they DON'T CARE. Your friend could care less how she affects you emotionally. Drunks are drunks because they have their own emotional problems and use drinking as a way to escape from the world. Me, myself...I cannot and will not tolerate drinking. If one of my friends wants to drink...well they can get their ass right down the road, because I'm not putting up with it. I don't want them calling me, talking to me, etc until they are sober.
But, back to you...she doesn't care sweetie. She is self-absorbed and selfish. If you don't want to go through the emotional stress, then leave her alone. REAL, TRUE FRIENDS care about each other and don't put each other under undue emotional turmoil.
I feel for you on the loss of your parents. But you need to take care of yourself emotionally before having attachments (friendship, etc) to someone that is going to dredge up stuff that haunts you.
I'm sure she understands, but as stated before...she doesn't give a sh!t. Plain and simple.
~Welder's Girl~
PS- And to all of you who want to bash...get over it. I know what I'm talking about. I've dealt with drunks my entire life and I know how the operate. Two alchie fathers (luckily one has been sober for 15 years now) and a drunk for an ex-husband. So if you want to bash...go do it somewhere else. | |
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| Why would someone close to you drink and drive if they knew you lost loved ones due to it?
Posted: 3/27/2007 1:04:27 PM |
This is not your friend doing this. The alcohol is in control, and of course if you try to say anything, the denial will start. Nothing like being less important to your friends than a buzz.
Safe to say, alcohol is not to blame. The friend is. She makes a CONSCIENCE decision to drink. Alcohol is a liquid. I guess it is my Pepsi that makes me write these forums. Yeah, that's it. Let's hear it for Sprite...Sprite makes me go more than 5 MPH over the speed limit. Water? Oh, forget about it....Water makes me want to go rob little old ladies. COME ON PEOPLE....realize that people are responsible for their own lives and they make the choices. I understand addiction, but it is used as a cop-out.
~Welder's Girl~ | |
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| Why would someone close to you drink and drive if they knew you lost loved ones due to it?
Posted: 3/27/2007 1:43:46 PM | I understand addiction, but it is used as a cop-out.
So, you don't understand addiction, but you like to say you do?
Addiction is not a "strong preference," nor a "choice." It is a chemical change in the body that denies choice. But that's OK. Your denial of this disease doesn't make things any worse, at least, for all the alcoholics in the world.
Well, it does for the ones you know. But that's your choice.
Not bashing, of course. Just correcting the incorrect.
Cheeese!
Vulf  | |
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| Why would someone close to you drink and drive if they knew you lost loved ones due to it?
Posted: 3/27/2007 1:50:25 PM | Alcoholism is a disease. If your friend is an addict, she will always put her addiction first until she gets into recovery. And, it's a progressive disease, meaning that it only gets worse. That is the nature of the beast. All you can do is take care of yourself and your needs first and foremost.
One of the hallmarks of alcoholism is driving when you are under the influence. It is part of a diagnostic test that physicians use to determine if addiction is an issue. You can find it under "The Twenty Questions" online, if you want an idea of what the criteria is.
I will not associate with problem drinkers/users, active alcoholics/drug addicts, or sober ones who aren't working a program. Plain and simple. To try and do so is a crazy making place.
I do have first hand knowledge of this, too. I know of what I speak. | |
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| Why would someone close to you drink and drive if they knew you lost loved ones due to it?
Posted: 3/27/2007 5:17:42 PM | I honestly don't understand ANYONE thinking that drinking and driving is OK... period. They put themselves and everyone around them in jeopardy, yet, people still do it. It's wrong on so many levels.
OP, I'm so sorry to hear about your parents. That's totally devastating and traumatic. I can't even imagine. As for your 'friend'... she's no friend if she would do this in the first place nevermind that she did it knowing your history and how much it would effect you. People are SO unbelievably selfish. They don't get it! The lack of regard for their own lives and the lives of others is baffling. I get that some are alcoholics, but that excuses nothing. I don't blame you for not wanting anything to do with people like that. I don't either and I've never had to deal with what you have, but I see what it does to others and have zero tolerance for it. | |
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| Why would someone close to you drink and drive if they knew you lost loved ones due to it?
Posted: 3/27/2007 5:25:03 PM | but I have a few friends here and the other night one of them drank pretty heavy and drove...and she doesn't seem to understand or maybe she does and it doesn't fizz her that this hits close home to me, and I want nothing to do with people like that....my question is why would someone do something that could hurt someone that they care about
why did You let Her drive home then? if You knew She was drinking heavily.
I dont understand???? | |
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| Why would someone close to you drink and drive if they knew you lost loved ones due to it?
Posted: 3/27/2007 5:28:12 PM | | Because when people have too much alcohol they often tend to have too much ignorance and arrogance showing then as well. The booze does the talking and they should only be walking it off then after. I feel that saying friends don't let friends drive drunk is a good one, so when someone sees their friend have too many and try to drive take their keys away and make them get a ride or call a cab or take them home instead. ( Sorry to hear of your loss OP. I lost a cousin when his friends and him went on a joy ride and all but one died then, there was beer found in the car. He was only 18 then.) | |
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| Why would someone close to you drink and drive if they knew you lost loved ones due to it?
Posted: 3/27/2007 5:28:18 PM |
Safe to say, alcohol is not to blame. The friend is. She makes a CONSCIENCE decision to drink. Alcohol is a liquid. I guess it is my Pepsi that makes me write these forums. Yeah, that's it. Let's hear it for Sprite...Sprite makes me go more than 5 MPH over the speed limit. Water? Oh, forget about it....Water makes me want to go rob little old ladies. COME ON PEOPLE....realize that people are responsible for their own lives and they make the choices. I understand addiction, but it is used as a cop-out.
~Welder's Girl~
Im sorry welder's girl but you have no idea what addiction is. When someone is addicted to something they don;t make a conscience decision to drink or do drugs they can;t help it no matter who or what they may hurt. They crave something so bad they will almost do anything to get the fix. They have to have it no matter what and if they don;t they can;t function. Addiction isan;t used as a cop-out | |
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| Why would someone close to you drink and drive if they knew you lost loved ones due to it?
Posted: 3/27/2007 5:39:44 PM | I will not associate with ANYONE who drinks and drives. I will not RIDE with anyone who drinks and drives. PERIOD. When my kids were starting to drive I told them that if they needed bail money because they robbed a bank they could call me but if they ever drank and drove and got arrrested they might as well save their dime and their one call.
I am a retired mental health professional and I know about "addictions" but ACTIONS are chosen. People can exerticise control over their behaviors if they choose to. Most of the people who drive drunk are "not" classic alocholics but "Joe Blow" who has a couple of beers and gets behind the wheel on Saturday. He chooses to put his life and the lives of everyone on the highways in jeapordy because he THINKS he can handle the car with alcohol in his blood. I think CRUCIFICTION for FIRST offense should be mandatory. As it is, many of them get off with 4, 5, or more arrests for falling down drunk at the wheel, even if they have actually injured or killed someone. If the penalty were stiff enough "Billy Bob Goodoldboy" might think twice before getting behind the wheel. I drink but I ALWAYS have a designated driver. JMHO | |
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| Why would someone close to you drink and drive if they knew you lost loved ones due to it?
Posted: 3/27/2007 5:54:13 PM | | First of all,I know where you're coming from,and have my deepest sympathy.Alcoholism is a paradox,we often drink to take the edge off what's on our minds from nervousness to fear,and in doing so,lose sight of even the simplest of survival tactics.In the 40 odd years of my drug and alchohol abuse,I'm thankful that the one mistake I never made was killing someone.That was sheer luck.If someone tried to tell me I was pissed and being an idiot,it was too late because I was pissed and being an idiot.It's often not so much that I didn't care,so much as I was passed knowing any better.The best thing a friend did for me one time,was to call the cops before I got to my car.Generally ,once an individual is drunk,he's past the point of "choosing" | |
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| Why would someone close to you drink and drive if they knew you lost loved ones due to it?
Posted: 3/27/2007 7:22:51 PM | Dr. Strange, presumption is part of why society is the place where we are....This person actually showed up at my place and in the middle of the night and was drunk, so no if I was there I would have never let her leave my house when drinking...she is my roommate..
I'm not trying to lecture anyone It should have been a collective effort by ALL party goer's not to let Her drive...Your room mate has no respect for You.
I have a rule with partying...If Your Man or Woman enough to take Your keys from Me
then You can drive........drunk or not they can park their tongue they are sleeping it off on the couch end of story.....JMO.... | |
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| Why would someone close to you drink and drive if they knew you lost loved ones due to it?
Posted: 3/27/2007 9:33:13 PM | Ok.....drinking and driving is very wrong and I never drink and drive ,
But .....wow!! ......is drinking and driving the number one problem in all of society or what?
I sometimes hear five commercials an hour on my radio not to mention tv / newspaper etc. ...it never ends! ......It's like "Orwellian" !
On the one hand our society promotes partying, beer commericials , gambling , possible legalization of marijuana , illegal drugs are glorified in music lyrics ....and on the other drinking and driving is like beyond super evil.....it's neurotic.
It's wrong that's for sure, but aren't there any other and even greater wrongs in our society?.....what about drug use for instance? gangs? teen pregnancy? illiteracy? unemployment? general violence / crime? corruption?
I think some of the massive efforts , police manpower , media commercials could do more good spent elsewhere. | |
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| Why would someone close to you drink and drive if they knew you lost loved ones due to it?
Posted: 3/27/2007 9:48:07 PM | If people really knew how many drunks were behind the wheel on the road, they'd never get in their cars again.
Addiction, including alcoholism, is epidemic in our society. It is the number one killer, or it would be if doctors put the 'real' cause of death on death certificates. Heart, lung, liver, pancreatic and kidney diseases, most types of cancer, car accidents, domestic violence, suicide, mental illness, stress-related illnesses, etc, can quite often be linked back to addiction and the most popular addictions are alcohol and/or drug dependence and smoking. (I had a fairly famous doctor who specializes in treating addictions tell me this.) | |
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