| what does forgiveness mean to you
Posted: 3/30/2007 11:03:25 AM | What does forgiveness mean to you, and how do you apply it? Is it forgive and forget? I was once told that not forgiving someone only hurts YOU, not them, so whast sense is there in it? But another piece of wise advice was to forgive, but never forget.
I feel that I can forgive fairly easily now, nowing that forgivness doesnt have to mean forgetting. I think you need to forgive, for your own sanity, but never forget. You owe it to yourself to remember what happened and protect yourself from letting it happen again. What do you think? | |
|
| what does forgiveness mean to you
Posted: 3/30/2007 11:36:29 AM | | For me, it depends if it has a trust issue with it. I can forgive a lot of things but having your trust tromped on it's a lot harder to forgive and trying to forgive and never forget- leads to more problems in that aspect, for me anyway. Betraying my trust is one thing I don't think I can ever forgive, it's certainly not something I'll ever forget either. | |
|
| what does forgiveness mean to you
Posted: 3/30/2007 11:37:49 AM | bah.. there is a time and place for everything
in all due course, when doing the right thing, everything falls into place | |
|
| what does forgiveness mean to you
Posted: 3/30/2007 12:27:55 PM | | It depends who it is, and what they done to cause the conflict, I,m not big on forgiveness, especially when something is done with malicious intent. | |
|
rings
|
Joined: 6/29/2005
Msg: 5 | |
| what does forgiveness mean to you
Posted: 3/30/2007 12:29:59 PM | Forgiveness,
Without complete forgiveness, you will never get past whatever it is that has happened.
You keep reliving it over and over again,you stay in that space in time until you forgive.
So it does hurt you over and over again,until you forgive and MOVE ON.
I never forget though...... i don't want it to happen again and again... .
I can forgive, but not always forget... | |
|
| what does forgiveness mean to you
Posted: 3/30/2007 12:34:20 PM | | It means what you choose it to mean. You can forget to forgive or forgive to forget or do both depending on the circumstances. Consider this,some things should never be forgotten but definetely forgiven. There is a time and place for everything but time heals all wounds. Do the right thing but will everything fall in place? I forgive any posting mistakes,will they be forgotten though? | |
|
| what does forgiveness mean to you
Posted: 3/30/2007 12:39:06 PM |
It depends who it is, and what they done to cause the conflict, I,m not big on forgiveness, especially when something is done with malicious intent.
something tells me you're an eye for an eye kinda guy
 | |
|
| what does forgiveness mean to you
Posted: 3/30/2007 1:59:34 PM | | Forgiveness is something I will very rarely do. I always give a person the benifit of a doubt in a relationship. I will try everything to cooperate and see eachother's points of view. If someone deliberately hurts me or the ones I love. There will never be forgiveness..... get me a match cuz Id be burnin another bridge! | |
|
| what does forgiveness mean to you
Posted: 3/30/2007 2:38:48 PM | Good thread OP.
I am just now skimming over the Forgiveness pages in "A Guide to Psychology and its Practice" online, and it is a good read. Rather than quote an entire page of text, I'd encourage anyone who wrestles with the ideas of forgiveness to read this page.
For me, forgiveness is about letting go of the pain so I can move on. "Father forgive them for they know not what they do." This does not mean that there will be reconciliation, but that I can let go and move on without carrying the baggage of that hurt around with me.
Its not an easy thing to do sometimes, but wouldn't you rather be free than angry?
As far as forgetting, it really depends on the situation and if amends have been made for the hurt, or any common understanding reached. An attempt to reconcile and to just forget without working through things is only an attempt to repress and thats not a good idea ever. | |
|
| |
| what does forgiveness mean to you
Posted: 3/30/2007 2:48:31 PM | | Forgiveness be a trait and/or a habit. A darn good one too. Forgive in any relationship and it just not be forgotten and/or appreciated. Not giving it when neccesary can be painful depending on ones personality. Reconciliation can be a cool bonus. Yuppers,be free not angry. Forgive,reconcile then forget. Some things can't be repressed and that be a bad idea and/or not healthy either. | |
|
| what does forgiveness mean to you
Posted: 3/30/2007 4:52:16 PM | | It means a lot!! If Im the one in the wrong, tho I wonder if they have trully forgiven if they will not let me forget.Tho I dont recall since I was young being in that position.I can forgive depending on what has been done, I dont forget that easily tho.There are some things I will forget if its not that bad, if its a trust issue or something that hurts my son as well as me forget the forgiving.I wont forget. | |
|
| what does forgiveness mean to you
Posted: 3/30/2007 5:47:11 PM | Forgiveness is the true power. Resentment only hurts you..
re - again
sent - sentir (spanish/latin), to feel
Since I am a control freak, I take my power back instead of wasting it re-cycling negative emotion.
That particular F-word is the way to let go of negative sh!t and let yourself focus on the good stuff. Rise above it/them.
A great man shows his greatness by the way he treats little men[b/]..(Carlyle?) that' s not a quote, but it's close.
Q. | |
|
rings
|
Joined: 6/29/2005
Msg: 14 | |
| what does forgiveness mean to you
Posted: 3/30/2007 7:37:20 PM | What does forgiveness mean to you
.. . GOD forgives i don't really,i have lots of $hit i would like to forgive...
.......So i could let go of it and move on.
.......But it all takes time,lots and lots of time...
bla bla bla ....bla bla...bla..bla bla bla.........BLA | |
|
| |
| what does forgiveness mean to you
Posted: 3/30/2007 8:00:23 PM | Forgiveness means understanding that the one that hurt you has lost the way of truth and good, or never really learned it in the first place. In the end that will ultimately leave their soul more barren and empty than any pain you feel inside (which will eventually heal).
To forgive is to be a better person. That does not mean, however, that you should not protect yourself from the poor judgment of those that hurt....just keep in mind that they are hurting in a way which may never cease...have empathy...and get on with your life with more positive people.
Happiness is a choice. | |
|
| what does forgiveness mean to you
Posted: 3/30/2007 8:05:36 PM |
Never does the human soul appear so strong as when it foregoes revenge and dares to forgive an injury. Aesop
I will forgive you for the injustice you have done , but I will never forget...
| |
|
| what does forgiveness mean to you
Posted: 3/30/2007 8:38:43 PM | | Power to the forgivers. More to the forgetters.Most to those who do both. Understand and even re-show them the way to being better than they were. All pain eventually goes away. Judgement can hurt and always protect yourself from it. Maybe get-on with a more positive pof-enriched life full of it's positive folks. Happiness may be a choice but must be earned and/or deserved. | |
|
| what does forgiveness mean to you
Posted: 3/30/2007 8:40:46 PM | | Forgivness means knowing it wasn't my fault, and I did the best I could in the situation. I will forgive myself for being upset then I will forgive the other person for hurting me. I may not forget that it happened or why it happened, but I won't beat myself up over it. | |
|
Adria3
|
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 20 | |
| what does forgiveness mean to you
Posted: 3/30/2007 11:44:08 PM | | Forgiveness... I to believe that By Holding anger and grudges against people that hurt you in your life, only gives them the power to keep on hurting you. By taking that ENERGY back, you've taken that power away from them completely. Having said that.. wowww easier said then done sometimes. I suppose it is dependant too on what level the hurt caused you to feel pain. What i find works wonders for me, is too start looking at this WRONGFUL person in a whole other light. Look at them with pity, and try and see how pathetic they really are for the way the live there life. I then start manifesting the anger into a more compassionate, sympathetic light, which doesn't cause me to feel anger anymore. Just a fleeting moment of "damn i'm so glad i'm not them" lol... this does not mean in any way that i will ever forget and allow this person into my life again.. but i just don't have that pit of anger in my stomach anymore. | |
|
| what does forgiveness mean to you
Posted: 3/31/2007 7:40:36 AM | | I recently experienced what it feels to forgive and forget. A person my ex was seeing turned out to be a nutbar,held her against her will, put her head into a wall. This was a few years ago, but everytime his name came up my blood would boil. So finally deciding I couldn't live like this anymore,I got quiet and meditated, asking, "what would you have me be?, and what would you have me do?"After doing this,I can't explain, but don't think of this person, and when I do,I don't feel the rage. And it's not like I'm going to go up to him & say " Your forgiven",It's not about that,but it sure has given me a sense of freedom.Recently doing self-awarness work,making a list of recentments, his name didn't even come up!!To forgive is truly to forget!! | |
|
| what does forgiveness mean to you
Posted: 3/31/2007 12:20:43 PM | | Some things do get forgotten but not ever forgiven. My Ex has moved-on and my best Ladyfriend knows her and has learnt what she has to do before she can be happy in life.You learn from others experiences all the time. Your past shapes your future and some memories best be left there. Some things you gotta do before getting-on nwith a better life. Sit back,relax and be you. Freedom is a priviledge,never abuse it. Resentments are a fact of life. | |
|
| what does forgiveness mean to you
Posted: 3/31/2007 1:27:37 PM | Forgiveness means to me that I decide what has influence over my life.
To not forgive is to give that other person power in my life and I do not want that.
Having said that, I do not personally need to go up to every person to tell them I forgive them or even to let them have any place in my life. I am comfortable with that at this point in my life. To be independant enough to live my life and let others live theirs no matter what they are doing on a daily basis. It has to do with boundaries as well because I am not going to let a destructive person or people wreck havoc in my life. I can forgive them and set personal boundaries with them to allow them to make their own choices. When I have my boundaries in place, their actions no longer influence my life in ways that I do not want them to.
So, forgiveness to me is wanting what is absolutely the best for that person no matter who they are or what they may or may not have done to me in the past or are doing right now. When I achieve this, it allows me to move forward in life acting in true compassion and empathy because the person has no control over how I feel or live. | |
|
| what does forgiveness mean to you
Posted: 4/16/2007 10:39:29 AM | | forgiveness means that you can see that all human beings screw up and are works in progress. Forgiveness means that you don't hold grudges and that you can give someone a chance to start anew. I totally believe in forgiveness and don't hold grudges...they're a waste of time. | |
|
| what does forgiveness mean to you
Posted: 7/5/2008 11:58:34 PM | | a temporary ploy to lull the enemy into a sense of false security (smile and wave, smile and wave) until a plan has been hatched to exact a full and satisfying revenge that can't possibly be traced back to me.... | |
|
Home
login 
