| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 3/31/2007 9:51:45 AM | I've been talking to a guy for a little while now. He's very nice, good looking too. The thing is I just found out today that he's married and has 3 kids. He said that he wants to end his marriage because him and his wife don't get along anymore. I'm newly divorced, just 3 months now, and I have 1 child. What would you do?  | |
|
| |
| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 3/31/2007 9:59:11 AM | | Well, It is a tough decision. You could help destroy this guys marriage, OR on the other hand you could set a good example for your kid and not help him commit adultry. Tough decision indeed. You might want to flip a coin for this one. | |
|
| |
| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 3/31/2007 10:04:42 AM | first of all....im sorry to say..
He is lying!...he wont leave his wife and he will give you every excuse why he cant.
It all boils down to.. IT IS CHEAPER TO KEEP HER!!..he likes his stuff ( like most people do) and he isnt about to give up half + ..to his wife and start over!! (unless of course..you are filthy rich)
Laffs..
I also hope you realize that by opening up this thread ( or can of worms)...you will be subjected to be called alot of nasty things in here by many members of POF...I however will not do that for I am in no position to judge anyone!
That being said.....to pursue a married man really never ends up good...You are in for alot of bull s*it ahead of you which you are only bringing on yourself. Lies, heartbreak, scandle,etc.... Unless you want your very own soap opera full of drama and pain...You really should reconsider.
Just my 2 cents | |
|
| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 3/31/2007 10:10:53 AM | I have to disagree with browneye, OPie. I don't think you want to guarantee this guy a place to land if and when he leaves his family. He needs to make that decision in terms of his marriage, not his prospects. The only honorable thing you can do is tell him you don't want to hear from him because he is married. Don't even imply you'll be available. Then move on. If he shows up with a suitcase and the right papers, decide afresh.
Besides, what do you mean he's "very nice?" He's sneaking around rather than trying to get along with his wife. I mean, why do you suppose they don't get along, if this is what he's doing? And why do you think he'll behave any differently with a woman who's ready to be the other woman?
Cheers!
Vulf  | |
|
| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 3/31/2007 10:16:25 AM | Op.....Give it up....Just don't bother doing something as silly as that. Why tare apart a marriage. Again just do yourself and others a favour and just let it be and go look elsewhere. There are many guys out there who are SINGLE and are willing to date. Give them a chance and don't try to open up a can of worms by pursuing a married guy.
Anyone that tells you otherwise...ignore them, for they don't know what they are talking about.
Just leave the situation, you can be at most friends with him maybe if things are ok.
Again I would encourage you to purue some of the single folks which I am sure there are many, and just don't bother trying to make a potentially dirty situation happen. Let the marriage be and don't worry about it.
| |
|
| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 3/31/2007 10:16:48 AM | | omg...my answer is NO...ferget bout him....he wont leave his wife for you or anyone he has to much to loose financailly. why would you go thru an emotional rollercoaster anyways. gettin involved with anyone who only offers litte of his heart is out of the question. an careful ...many use words to sweet talk others an alot fall for that crap...his action speaks louder. do yourself a huge favour..ferget bout him ..move on...find someone whos not emotionally attached to anyone...this will save you alot of heartache an grief. even if he did leave his wife...hes got emtional baggage an your just a rebound which wont work. trust me ..been there done that myself to know better now....hard lesson to learn but damn i learnt. | |
|
| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 3/31/2007 10:24:37 AM | Yes..Vulf... you're right... she shouldn't guarantee this guy anything. Leaving a window of opportunity, or possibility isn't healthy for either of them. (all 3 involved)
Moving on is the best option here, and the only one that makes any sense. My previous post was written in haste. Thanks for pointing that out.
It should have said.... just RUN... fast, and don't look back! | |
|
| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 3/31/2007 10:26:15 AM | Thanks everyone... was just wondering what others would do. I'm not saying I WILL go for it, I mean I just found out today about him being married! He's not the only guy I am interested in, and I guarentee the others are not married  Just never had a married man pursuing me that is  And I didn't mean to step on anyone's toes about this. Don't want to be called nasty names because I questioned this. I've never been a cheater in my life, was just asking what others would do. Again thanks you guys!!! | |
|
| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 3/31/2007 10:40:21 AM | | To answer your question ....NO!!! If he is unhappy and doesn't want to be married then the 1st person he should tell is his wife. He sounds like he is looking for extra on the side. Wants to have his cake and eat it too. If he communicated with his wife instead of someone on line, then maybe he could be happy. I don't know him or her or you but if i decided i wanted a relationship it would be the whole package. In my experience talk is cheap and actions are everything! | |
|
| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 3/31/2007 10:48:02 AM | | What would I do??? I'd run like hell. Get a grip, woman. A relationship like that is bound to end up in disaster. It's a rebound ... a desperate attempt to reconnect with someone or anyone. Bad, bad idea. And just because he SAYS he wants to leave his wife, don't be believing that load of horseshit. | |
|
| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 3/31/2007 10:49:14 AM | I would never, ever cross that line!!
There are lots of single men out there. Why mess with a man who's got a wife and children? Go out and find somebody who's not spoken for or wait for the marriage to end first! | |
|
| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 3/31/2007 10:54:52 AM | If he wants to end his marriage, what's he waiting for? Probably will eventually hand you the line about he's just staying for his kids. I would tell him to get back in touch once he's divorced. You couldn't be that much into him, yet, by just talking. I always pass on the married ones, 'cause there's always single ones already available. On the other hand, seems like most of the really good looking ones, who really know how to treat a woman are married!
So far, I've never crossed that line though. Guess it's my Baptist upbringing. | |
|
| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 3/31/2007 10:58:33 AM | what would I do-
You really need an answer for this - you really are considering putting
yourself in a situation like this-
Take this exactly how I mean it- do not do this - him and his wife
having problems and him getting divorced talk - honey - just talk-
tell him - you want something with me- come back when the papers are
signed - watch how fast he dissapears - he probably has no intention-
Oh and dont read this and say - she does not know what she is
talking about - I do - your blinded by the fact you are newly divorced and he
is paying attention to you - do yourself a favor - no matter how sweet
and handsome he is - under there lurking is a predator - he will cause
you lots of pain - get away- | |
|
| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 3/31/2007 11:16:02 AM | "The thing is I just found out today that he's married and has 3 kids"
You'd think such a "NICE GUY" would have mentioned that significant fact when you first started talking to him.
Of course he's nice to you -how many women would be interested in a married guy that behaved outwardly like the cheating a$$hole he really is?
Didn't anyone ever tell you "if he does it to her ( cheats on his wife) he'll do it to YOU"? | |
|
| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 3/31/2007 3:43:56 PM | | cajun...the thing is you say he is nice? is he really....see how he treats his wife...with no respect an cheating an lying...hes a decieving man....is this a man you want? i doubt it hun...your smarter then that.. . | |
|
| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 3/31/2007 3:52:01 PM | | I'd leave it up to his kids. See what they have to say. Maybe they are hoping for a replacement mother in the bargain. You could be a godsend disguised as a hussy. But be open minded. If the kids demand that you butt out, then do so. Otherwise the brats will make your life a living hell. I wouldn't hesitate to hook up with someone who was married, if their spouse was into it and wanted to watch. That would not apply to the kids, of course. Kids should have to get their sex info online like everyone else, not from watching their parents. You may think that should go without saying, but I actually knew a family where the kids wanted to watch the parents have sex, and they let them, for sex educational purposes. This was back in the 60's, so calm down. | |
|
| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 3/31/2007 4:13:36 PM | | OP - this is NOT a "nice man" - this is a man who is actively pursuing you while married to another woman - that makes him far from decent in my eyes. Walk away fast - you do not want to be his mistress, that is not a place to be. Put yourself in his wife's shoes - would you want this done to you? | |
|
| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 3/31/2007 4:27:52 PM | If he is still married, stop, walk away and tell him to contact once his divorce is final..It's the oldest story in the book..My marriage is over, she doesn't ubderstand me, we just don't get along, we haven't been intimate in so long, etc etc.As many excuses as there are men who use them..In the end, if he is serious and gets a divorce and still wants to talk, then go for it..
May God Bless | |
|
| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 3/31/2007 5:09:37 PM | | There's so many complications and problems that can arise from this type of situation. I would stay away from him until you know for sure that he's separated or divorced from his wife. | |
|
| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 4/1/2007 12:31:44 PM | | ask yourself this question...are you emotionally stable to enter this road of distruction ahead of you ? | |
|
| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 4/1/2007 12:46:09 PM | Just to let everyone know I am not going to pursue this married man. I wanted an opinion and you've all had great advice. I am just getting out of a bad marriage myself, and honestly I can't handle is baggage along with my own that I'm breaking free of finally. He'll just have to do this on his own, there are so many men out there that I don't need to be lingering around him. I thank you all for your great advice  | |
|
| |
| Would you pursue a Married Man?
Posted: 4/1/2007 1:14:24 PM | Personally I wouldn't pursue any guy...'cause I'm a GUY...LOL
BUT You shouldn't pursue him, because in your own words....HE'S MARRIED!! Would you have liked some woman to have been boinking your husband while you were married?? Beisdes....He's lying, he's just lookin' for "some".
 | |
|
Home
login 
