| I need some space???
Posted: 3/31/2007 3:31:47 PM | I was in a relationship for 7 months, Just before it ended, She said to me, We are still a couple but I need some space. So we went from seeing each other every day to not at all.
I just want to get some insight on what "I need some space" means so I can understand and handle it better if it should happen again. | |
|
| I need some space???
Posted: 3/31/2007 4:53:33 PM | In your case, in particular, it sounds like "I want to break up, but leave the door open to get back together in case I decide I made a mistake or change my mind after I've dated other people and it doesn't work out the way I had hoped. But, if I DO find someone else that I like better, then I won't feel bad. And, in the meantime, try not to get serious with anyone else, but keep making yourself available to me in case I change my mind." Basically, it means, "I want to break up, but I'm too afraid to make it permanent, final, and definite - so I'm going to say 'I need some space' to make things as ambiguous as possible."
However, in my case, if I told a 7-month boyfriend that I needed space, it would mean that I'm probably having some doubts and want to spend more time alone to try to gather a more objective opinion (from within myself) regarding the relationship and if it's really what I want. Or, it would be because I was getting exhausted by spending 24/7 with someone and was feeling like I was letting the rest of my life fall to the wayside and needed to have some alone time to get back to myself and see if the relationship could still function without having to spend every god-forsaken moment with that person. In neither of those scenarios would I be seeking out a new man though. If I really wanted to pursue other men, then I would just break up. Also, I would still have contact with my SO, just not as frequent. But, it might make me realize that our relationship doesn't have much substance if I realize that it was only working by virtue of the fact that we spent time together every day . . . that it wasn't as strong or I didn't really think about that person during the absences, and vice versa. | |
|
| I need some space???
Posted: 3/31/2007 5:04:40 PM | sounds like she's got you where she wants you, danglin about on her line waitin for her, just incase she can't find anything better she'll reel ya back in..
*rips the hook outta his mouth* there now you're free...
swim lil fishy | |
|
| I need some space???
Posted: 3/31/2007 5:14:52 PM | | LOL, She did end up back with her ex. I kinda saw it coming. I just wonder what I could have done or should have done , May not have made a differance I suppose. | |
|
| I need some space???
Posted: 3/31/2007 5:28:30 PM | nothing you could have done to make her decision different...only thing for yourself ... maybe... is not letting her keep you on a rope. Sorry to say... "I need some space" to me basically means... I want to try others (or go back to the ex)... see if it works and if it doesn't I still have you as my safety net. Someone who'll be there for me.
I wish you well..... | |
|
| I need some space???
Posted: 3/31/2007 5:34:04 PM | I agree with K-lo - well said!
My suggestion, if were to ever happen with you again, ask what their definition of that is. It varies for individuals. | |
|
| I need some space???
Posted: 3/31/2007 5:43:57 PM | When there was no need for space to start, then "all of a sudden" a need for space appears, I would suspect it's a precursor to the end.
I am one of those people that need "space". However, I state that in my profile, and bring it up early. There are times when I might see someone a lot in a small period of time, but it's temporary. For me to exist in a long term relationship of any kind, I need time to myself. It's not something that happens n months into a relationship.
Bob | |
|
| I need some space???
Posted: 3/31/2007 6:11:26 PM | | When a woman ... or a man ... says I need some space - what that translates to is "I need some space without you in it". Same as when a guy pats you on the ass and says "Everything is fine - everything will be okay" . What he means is "Everything will be okay ... for ME" | |
|
| I need some space???
Posted: 3/31/2007 6:24:39 PM | | "we need some space"= "I want to bang other dudes with bigger, blacker (0(ks" | |
|
| I need some space???
Posted: 3/31/2007 6:27:44 PM | Just need to say before or if this is deleted it was not Troll post, just asking a question,
and recieved some good replies. Except for ^^^that one..lol
Thank you | |
|
| I need some space???
Posted: 3/31/2007 6:40:28 PM | | I haven't read every response that you received and I do apologize, if my feedback, is re-hashed from another response. Here's the truth and exactly what you should do! First, a little insight. Normally, that statement, does mean, "THE END". But, possibly in the rare case, it may not. I personally have just took it as the end and moved on. Maybe a few times I have shot myself in the foot over this but, who needs that kind of head game? Anyway....simply say, as a retort, "That's cool, I was thinking the same thing". Depending on where, how and when, you are told this, from your SO, remain calm and collected, even if you are upset or angry. I know, it's hard. If it's via e-mail, that's easy enough. Over a land line, talk as you normally would for about 15 minutes, tell her to hold on, you have a beep. Come back to her on the line and tell her you have an important phone call and have to go. You will call her a little later. Or, if it's in person, do the same thing, pull out the cell phone and tell her, something important came up at work or whatever, and you have to run. You'll call her a little later. Next.......if she calls within the week. Don't call her back, a week to the day. If she calls after a week has passed, forget about her. If she calls within the week and during the conversation, does not explain herself. Forget about her. If she plans a date and doesn't explain herself, forget about her. This will save you alot of pain and anguish. She initiated the needing space, not you. Therefore, it is up to her to set things on a certain course. Like was mentioned previously, ask what her definition of needing space is. If it does not suit your views, wants needs and desires. Walk away. Hope that helps ya! | |
|
| I need some space???
Posted: 3/31/2007 6:46:39 PM | | I could maybe see doing that if I had only been dating for a short time, but things were way to serious to do something like you mention. It was in person btw. | |
|
| I need some space???
Posted: 3/31/2007 7:01:05 PM | "I need some space" means "I need some time." It's the continuum, dude!
Cheers!
Vulf  | |
|
| I need some space???
Posted: 3/31/2007 7:02:06 PM | yeah I will -
<div class="quote">who needs that kind of head game?
If I need to know more about head games, I'll remember this particular post.
I care to be sincere... no timing or lies involved. | |
|
| I need some space???
Posted: 3/31/2007 7:14:09 PM | I need my space mean;
I want my own life and for you to be around when I want you to be or when I need you to be. I need to have my freedom but prefer you to remain on the hook so I can real you in anytime. I think I may have found someone else and would like to pursue it but not at the risk of losing you completely until I know if it’s going to work out….then I will make a clean break.
I hope that makes things a bit clearer!
Cut the line!
 | |
|
| |
| I need some space???
Posted: 3/31/2007 7:29:36 PM | | pick any of the above interpretations.....it just means the two of you are toast as you knew it.... | |
|
| I need some space???
Posted: 3/31/2007 10:07:27 PM | | When she says "I need some space"...you give her all the space she wants and more. As in, time to find another woman. Sorry man, but that is reality. | |
|
| I need some space???
Posted: 3/31/2007 10:30:26 PM | I agree w/ most of the posts, and move on.
It would be different if she gave you a timeline. Y'know, "I just need some space for a day, so lets just not talk tomorrow and talk the day after... I have things I need to get done for *me*". A day or two, "personal time", *occasionally*, probably isnt a bad thing. The blanket statement of "I need space" - Usually not good. | |
|
| I need some space???
Posted: 3/31/2007 10:40:26 PM | | Yikes, I'm going to have to be careful what I say. In reality, I'm one of those persons that needs some time alone or I get cranky. "Alone time" should not be used as time to mess around. | |
|
| I need some space???
Posted: 3/31/2007 11:02:19 PM | I'm sorry.. that totally sucks!
Unfortunately, I don't know why she was lying and saying you're still a couple.... a couple sticks together and communicates.....
For some reason she wasn't fully in your relationship.... and not as into you as you were into her. | |
|
| I need some space???
Posted: 3/31/2007 11:41:23 PM | When she says"Ineed some space" it means"I need some space without you in it"
You're done here, move on... | |
|
| I need some space???
Posted: 3/31/2007 11:47:23 PM | | Space can mean a lot of things, even to the same person. I know with one relationship we started seeing each other too often and other things in my life were starting to suffer because of it so I needed space to work on those things, even though I still really wanted to be with the guy, so nothing negative. In another one it meant I wasn't sure I liked where things were going and needed some time off to think about things, which was pretty negative. | |
|
| I need some space???
Posted: 4/1/2007 10:20:59 AM | "I need some space"...quantified is usually about the same height, depth and breadth as you.
I place this under the same catagory as
Male - "I think we should have an open relationship"
translation: Im deluded and think I can get some
Female - "I think we should have an open relationship"
translation: Im already getting some
I would recomend persuing alternative ventures and bracing yourself for what I think you already know is happening or going to happen =( | |
|
| I need some space???
Posted: 4/1/2007 10:48:03 AM | | If I were with a girl and she asked me for some space, I would break up with her on the spot. If there is a problem, let's talk it over. Need some space = I don't like you anymore. | |
|
Home
login 
