| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/1/2007 12:39:41 AM | Well people I now have to put my hand up as being one of those people who has been silly enough to meet up for a date with someone from here who didn't have a picture - and boy was that a bad idea !
You see so many profiles of ladies who (understandably) say "no picture, no reply" and read stories of men who turn up for dates 6 inchers shorter / 10 years older/ 50 pounds heavier / 90% balder than they say they are... LOL... yet does it ever occur to you that the same thing can happen to a man ?
The answer is yes it can ! I now have first-hand experience ! LOL Why would someone tell you they are "blonde" and "young looking for their age"  and then you turn up to discover they are grey and in fact definitely look their age or realistically even older ??!!  Why would they tell you that people have always noticed them when they walk down the street because they are so good looking, and then you discover that the only reason someone is likely to notice them is because they are so significantly overweight ??
I guess these situations fall into 2 groups - those where the person is deluded and actually believes about themselves that they are attractive, and those where the pereson is being deliberately manipulative to to try and get a desirable partner to turn up and spend time with them... What do you think ? Are there other reasons perhaps ?
Anyway, I guess the golden rule is NEVER go out on a blind date, unless you are quite willing to be disappointed (not a good idea when you drive 220km to get there ! LOL) and not expect to be, but be willing to be, pleasantly surprised if the person really is attractive.
However, for me , in this digital age, I think not having a photo of yourself posted on here is inexcusable, and unless you have unlimited time to burn, I'd rather spend mine getting to know the lovely people that I DO know what they look like !! 
I'd be really interested to hear from other people who might have had similar experiences (so i can feel not so bad as being the only stupid person in the world ! LOL)
Wazza. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/1/2007 5:10:04 AM | I don't have a photo on my profile....however I am working on it!! I sort of like the idea of someone getting to know me for who I am, rather than what I look like!!
I'm not dishonest though, about the way I look....I give an accurate description, and would be humiliated if I lied to someone, and then met them!! lol
I have only met one guy from POF in person...and I was a nervous wreck!! lol
However, when he picked me up....the first thing that he said to me, was; "Wow! You are Gorgeous!" That was sweet, and made me feel alot better!!
I think the main thing here is.....yes, maybe you should only go out with women that have a pic posted....however you could still miss out on something good! And what's to say the pic is real...lol I think that people should be honest...especially with themselves!! | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/1/2007 6:54:44 AM |
however you could still miss out on something good
Doubtful. For all the reasons women list for not having photos, most of them are BS. The predominant reason for not having a photo up is that you are not attractive at all and the photo will prevent you from getting even that first meeting.
When I see things like the above "working on it...." Oh come on... Go to Kinkos and get a passport photo taken, then to Wal-Mart and have them scan it (or one you have already) into a file , and follow the simple directions provided to upload it. If that extremely MINOR bit of computer operation baffles you, it's possible that you have bigger problems than not finding a date.
And as I have said many times, if you must upload the Glamour Shot, also post one that shows what you look like without the 3 hour makeup job and the perfect studio lighting. We'd like to see the woman we will actually be meeting, and you will never again look like you did in the Glamour Shot.
One woman here posted her Glamour Shot and it had a time stamp of, get ready, 1990. I can hear the uproar if a man posted a 17 year old photo and claimed it was current. I have a 19 year old photo on here (but not visible) and I send it along with the new one when photos are requested. With the disclaimer attached.
The OP is correct. Photo is a must. And I believe, and have stated often, that a photo should be required for users here. But it's not my rink. I only skate here. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/1/2007 7:08:14 AM | yes the litany of 'excuses' can be amusing for sure
and having a photo isn't always a good sign, beware the 'nothing but a head shot' or 'over head clevage angle' myself and some friends have had a couple incidents in that regard... | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/1/2007 7:12:27 AM | ..Have had the same thing happen to me, where the woman was not as she indicated
..and what is average when it comes to weight and what is a few pounds over
..and how come photos are 15 to 20 years old
..So seeing a photo is missleading also, maybe the only sure way is if everyone has a camera hooked up
,,Now in defense of women I guess they get thier share of these experinces also and have a lot of bad dates | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/1/2007 7:12:33 AM |
I guess these situations fall into 2 groups - those where the person is deluded and actually believes about themselves that they are attractive, and those where the pereson is being deliberately manipulative to to try and get a desirable partner to turn up and spend time with them... What do you think ? Are there other reasons perhaps ?
I can't think of any other reasons. Nope, that's about it.
however you could still miss out on something good
Doubtful.
Doubtful, probably. But still possible. The only "non-photo" guy I've met turned out to be very attractive. Bonus. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/1/2007 7:17:13 AM | in this digital age, I think that not being able to use the "thread search" feature is inexcusable.
threads about profile pictures have been done before, and done before, and done before, and done before, and done before , and done before........ | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/1/2007 7:21:24 AM | There is yet another reason to post a picture. A man contacted me without a profile picture, we exchanged a few emails, and then he sent a pic.
He looked so much like my ex husband that when I was looking at the picture, my son walked by and asked, "Where did you get the new picture of Dad?"
Sorry, too many negative feelings there. Everytime I looked at the guy, I would have thought of my ex. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/1/2007 7:21:54 AM | there is really no excuse not to have a photo on hand. Even if you dont have one posted, at least have one you can send to someone who asks you for it.
(eek!!...dont look at this pic I have posted...Look at my others instead... laffs...inside joke)
anyway!!...where was I?
oh yes!!...It is also true about pics being misleading....it is always good to see someone face to face on a web cam. I have no idea why someone would mislead another about their looks...especially if they are going to meet face to face. The excuse .. "I thought he/she would like me for who I was inside" just doesnt cut it, because if you dont look like what you say then it only proves that you are a liar. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/1/2007 7:23:31 AM | My concern with a no-pic runs deeper than just looks. My biggest concern is the trust issue. IMO I really think they are being dishonest with someone ... their wife, their girlfriend, or who ever they are hiding from. I have also found the weirdest characters have no pics either. I am not sure why that is, just my past experience.
You are right, there is no reason for not having a pic in this day and age.
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/1/2007 7:23:44 AM | A photo is sure going to attract a more attention but not an absolute essential. I drove 160+ miles (<260 km) to meet an oline lady one December. Met her on an online chat line, found out she lived in the same district of Toronto where I grew up. On impulse I drove down to meet her. That was December 2005 and we are still seeing each other. Hope she will soon be leaving Toronto and joining me here.
Love is a matter of luck I suppose, luck and being open and risk taking.
But I don't recommend long distance romances. They can and do work out at times, but you can quickly bankrupt yourself financially, physically and emotionally chasing distant dreams that don't work out.
Local friends? Hey photo or no photo, no big investment in time or money to meet for coffee. Coffee's enough, don't need hours plus a meal in a dining room just to know if there is or is not any initial chemsitry. | |
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rip27
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Joined: 3/27/2006
Msg: 13 | |
| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/1/2007 7:27:36 AM | lol i have been there also.she wasnt at all what she had said.thats fine though it was a gamble i was willing to take.pretty weak on her part though.or the oh did i mention i had kids one gets me while out on the date.
oh well i am not above just leaving the date though.oh i have to go to my truck i forgot my money be back in a minute.no i have never stuck them with the bill but should have though.then i hoped in my truck and left simple as that.i will still go on these sorts of dates though if i feel the person im talking to is cool though.hey ya just never know right.im a bit of a risk taker i guess you would say.
but in the end its not like i wont see you right so why lie anyway.what ya hoping im blind and lied about that lol. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/1/2007 7:28:31 AM | With the pic debate you also have to realize that many put up false pics or old ones so you can still be disillusioned. I am not sure I would want to go out with someone who described themselves as so good looking heads turn or that they stopped traffic that is a little vain for me. I feel like that if the person is going to lie the pic won't make a difference it won't be the truth either. I have met a couple of men without having seen thier pics and was not too disappointed. I think it has to do with the calibre of people you are talking to. I do think that sometimes as we age some still envision ourselves as what we looked like when we were younger. I still view myself as the overweight girl regardless of how I look now. Maybe it goes the same with some that were very pretty or handsome when they were younger....
Also East Side some of us hide from the camera and don't like pictures taken doesn't mean we so totally unattractive. I know when my children were younger I used to take the vacation pictures with me out and tell them they didn't come out I broke the camera. This was because I didn't like the way I looked at the time and am not photogenic. So I eventually took my own pic just for here. Everyone wants to put thier best foot forward so I give people the benefit of the doubt. There are some honest ones out there. | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/1/2007 7:30:07 AM | Because people are retarded, that's why. They delude themselves into thinking they're something they're not. And 99% of the time, they think their charming personality will win someone over, despite the fact they've lied about height, weight, job, etc. I've only met one guy without a photo who talked himself up big-time; i.e., how attractive he was, blah blah. When he showed up, he was at least 10 years older than me, short, bald and had a missing front tooth. Never, never again will I meet someone without a picture ... and maybe dental records........ | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/1/2007 7:56:04 AM | | I also think that there are a signifcant number of people who do not post a pic because they should not be on here......as in they are married or otherwise "involved" and they don't want someone they know seeing their profile! | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/1/2007 8:10:58 AM | Well ..... as a non-photo person , dare I even speak up ? Sure, wtf , no one will recognize me!
POF accepts non-photo profiles and I agree with that. Regardless of the reason I do not post a picture , the point is that it is my choice only. Should I be here ? Until POF says nonphoto profiles are not allowed, you are damn right I can be here without a photo
! Some of us are cheaters, some of us are shy, some of us feel nervous about online dating even , the reasons vary so don't be so harsh on us. Besides , as it's been stated before in here somewhere , it's kind of exciting meeting and seeing . Unless it's serial dating and you just can't spare the time on a mystery. That would be sad. Live a little folks .. you could be crossing the Altlantic to the new world , a new hubby /wife unseen ...things actualy have improved, you know!
Mastermechanic | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/1/2007 8:19:49 AM | [I'd be really interested to hear from other people who might have had similar experiences (so i can feel not so bad as being the only stupid person in the world ! LOL)]
I have my own stories like this, though never cause of meeting someone with no pic. I won't even waste my time chatting with someone if they don't provide a pic after the first email... learned that one the hard way.
I just wanted to share the worst story I have HEARD... actually happened to someone I knew online. This guy chatted with someone... emails... chatrooms... phone... for TWO years before meeting. ALL done with ONE pic of her on her profile. They talked moving (he was 2000 miles away!) and eventually marrying. After two years of this he finally flies to meet her... $700+ plane ticket. To find out she was nothing like her pic!! She had portrayed herself as tall and slim.... she was short and fat! He was mortified... and as a reminder to people who do that... it wasn't about her being short and fat.... IT WAS ABOUT THE LIE!!!!! My comment to the guy who had this happen to him?? "A $40 webcam would've saved you $700!!!" 
So think what you will you non-pic posters ... there are enough horror stories out there to make people leery about you... getting defensive about it only adds fuel to the fire.
OP: Hope that helps!!!  | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/1/2007 8:53:14 AM | a couple of thoughts here from a 'non pic poster':
When I joined POF I knew that not posting a picture would severely curtail the number of people that I would be interesed in meeting. There is no devious reason why I don't post a picture (people who have met me will attest to that fact).
If someone wants to chat with me and inquires about a picture. I am most obliging in providing one - then if things go on - several. Always recent ones. These can be sent via email or are up on msn. I don't ever bother describing myself. Its too subjective. I could be either deluded or modest. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder anyway.
Before meeting - I always make sure that several pictures including full body shots have been viewed. Web cam is even better. Emails, im chats and phone calls are also de regeur. It might seem like a long list of 'must do s' before meeting.....but this has given me nothing but the most positive of encounters.
Isn't this all just plain old common sense? Anything other than what I have just posted - sets you up for disappointment and war stories. (jmo) | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/1/2007 9:03:27 AM |
If someone wants to chat with me and inquires about a picture. I am most obliging in providing one - then if things go on - several.
That' s the point, though. You can't make a sale unless you get them into the store. And the photo gets them into the store.
And if they are on MSN, what's the logic of not posting them here? It's still public on MSN. Granted, hared to find, but someone will stumble across them eventually.
Hell, I'm a short, fat, ugly guy and I post photos..... | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/1/2007 9:05:41 AM | | ah, it happens to the best of us. i'll certainly respond to people who don't have a picture in their profile, but i would not meet them until i've seen pics. and hopefully recent ones - i've heard too many horror stories of people submitting pictures that were 10 years and 100 lbs ago! | |
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| It can happen to men too - no photo should mean no date !!
Posted: 4/1/2007 9:08:21 AM | I met a guy once with no picture, never again.
I agree with post that says
I also think that there are a signifcant number of people who do not post a pic because they should not be on here......as in they are married or otherwise "involved" and they don't want someone they know seeing their profile!
You''ll find many people that put, good looking, attractive what ever are the ones who are far from it, like the guy I met, looks are in the eyes of the beholder,
That usually comes from some one who is very much into them selves,
I find the biggest part of the e-mails I get don't have a pic. I do ask if the profile sounds interesting, but not many give it, the reason no idea and if they want to be that way I 'm not at all interested and they must not be either.. If they have something to hide they shouldn't be on here..
There are more fish in the sea..
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