| I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked!
Posted: 4/2/2007 12:32:01 PM | I would really like some opinions on what happened this weekend between me and my date. Thanks in advance!
I had two dates with a girl this weekend. And I am totally bewildered and confused because up until the last 1/2 hour of the second date things could not have gone any better - and then I cried during a sad scene and things totally changed!
So the first date was Saturday, dinner and a movie, she was very cuddly and affectionate during the movie.
Sunday afternoon we met for lunch and another movie.
The movie was Reign Over Me, and she was acting the same as the night before, laying her head on my chest, squeezing my hand, rubbing her leg against mine.
She was like this until a scene near the end of the movie, when the main character
tells a friend about the day his wife and kids died in the 9-11 attacks.
I cried a little during this, and I am sure I am not the only one in the theater who did. Its one of the emotional scenes I have ever seen put on film and it did affect me.
My date noticed and asked me if I was crying and I said yes. She sat up. moved away and barely touched me the rest of the movie. After the movie, she told me she would have a hard time seeing me this week because of her kids. Earlier she had said she would love to get together during the week!
After I texted her that I wanted to talk to her she called me.
She told me that her man couldnt show any signs of weakness, that had he had to be strong all the time for her. I explained to her that I was human like everyone else, and that everyone has emotions and can get a little sad sometimes esp while watching scenes like that one.
At this she began sobbing, and told me when I cried in the movie theater her chest tightened up and that she got really scared suddenly. I told her it was ok to be scared sometimes esp when getting to know someone new that you really like - and she obviously liked me quite a bit and in fact had told me so earlier.
She said she needed time and I told her I would give her as much as she needed and to call me if and when she was ready. | |
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| I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked!
Posted: 4/2/2007 12:36:20 PM | Being someone who cries at the drop of a hat lol
I have to say this woman is kinda B*tchy....I' really don't think you have anything to apologise for and there was no reason for you to give her *time*
she sounds like a heartless judgemental *&^%ing Brat......
I think its great when people show emotions....weither it be at a movie....or just in real life.
Don't change that about you.......The right woman will love it | |
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| I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked!
Posted: 4/2/2007 12:48:59 PM | | She needs a man to be rock solid and devoid of emotion, otherwise she would have to be accountable for your feelings. If she has to be considerate and worry about you as a human being, she can't run roughshod doing as she pleases. I have known women like that and you can run now, or limp away later. | |
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| I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked!
Posted: 4/2/2007 12:57:08 PM | OPie, your appropriate reply would have been, "well, my woman can never be a clueless a55hole in love with the cartoons in her head. No, scratch that. She just has to be a woman. The rest comes with. See ya!"
What's on you, OPie, is that you took a little friction to mean you were making some kind of connection with this cretin. Which is to say, you mistook her for your fantasy, too. Slow down, dude! Strangers do not love you! Not for free, anyway.
Cheers!
Vulf  | |
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| I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked!
Posted: 4/2/2007 12:57:52 PM |  If I were you sweety I'd run very fast!!! This woman seems like she'd treat her men in a drill sgt. manner. I can't believe there are women out there like this. I'd honestly love if a man I was seeing would show emotion like you did this weekend. Atleast you have the right kind of feelings... she should end up with a man like my ex, he used to laugh at every movie we watched whether it would be sad, funny or horror. As for me I cry for any movie I watch  | |
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| I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked!
Posted: 4/2/2007 1:13:39 PM | Oh she is a freaking peice of work -
you like her - you like your women made of stone-
You like dating Medusa - well -she needs time - no
you should tell her you need time -
To think about if you want to spend your time with a woman
with a heart of stone- give me a man who cries any day - who
has feelings - you can keep the rest-
Why would your showing emotion scare her - I dont get this -
and she needs time - no very strange reaction on her part -
I would step back and I would tell her I was not sure about her
reaction - | |
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tdh46
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Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 12 | |
| I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked!
Posted: 4/2/2007 1:27:30 PM | You seem like a very sensitive guy, some people just don't know how to react to someone like you.
That's why i only watch sad movies by myself or with people i know very well. I have this bad habit of crying my eyes out at sad movies.
You are better off without this woman, find someone that can relate to your sensitive side. | |
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| I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked!
Posted: 4/2/2007 1:29:35 PM | ~Brook~ on 4/2/2007 1  20 PM Subject: I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked! Message: Being someone who cries at the drop of a hat lol I have to say this woman is kinda B*tchy....I' really don't think you have anything to apologise for and there was no reason for you to give her *time* she sounds like a heartless judgemental *&^%ing Brat...... I think its great when people show emotions....weither it be at a movie....or just in real life. Don't change that about you.......The right woman will love it
^^^^^ this statement is being made by someone who is sounding like the very things she is calling another woman ...sheesh step back ,read the complete post and have some insight....I am actualy dismayed at how "off base " so many of you posting replies are :(
To the OP >>> Of course there is nothing wrong with showing emotion at appropriate times, your date knows this with her rational mind but something in her issues and her past triggered panic and pain and made her respond by shutting down and withdrawing. The fact that this happened had very little to do with you. While no one can be certain what has happened in her past , if you care about her maybe stick it out a bit while she works through it. If not drop her and run as so many of your counterparts here suggested. God forbid she be less than perfect. The physco babble here was annoying at the very least
Taking it to personaly and focusing on the symptoms and not the real issue with only distance you from her. The fact that she burst into tears means only that there is alot of pain and issue tied to this..... maybe the movie triggered something , maybe your emotion.or maybe she is just over whelmed and exhausted and needed a trigger
FACT women are complicated
FACT when they are upset , it is almost never the reason the give or you think it is..
FACT women love to jump at the throat of other women instead of using some compassion. | |
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| I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked!
Posted: 4/2/2007 1:35:33 PM | As I grew up I NEVER saw my dad cry, my mother told me he only did that in front of her but did not want to have his kids see him cry.It was looked at as being weaker then, but they were raised in a time that looked at life and gender roles differently. I feel that a man should be able to feel sorrow and cry at something emotionally tugging at them and would be more concerned if some guy did not react with any emotion. IF a man bawls like a baby or cries as a woman would sound then it is not comfortable to listen to but if a man sniffles or wipes away tears it shows he has feelings and is not weak to. I would try to ask her if she had a dad that never cried or why she feels that way and see by her response if that is an issue that you would want to deal with further then.
I also once had a VERY close friend that never cried, she said that she was not allowed to as a little girl and so when sad she cried on the inside instead. It was good to hear that her daughter saw her cry before though. There were PLENTY of tears at her memorial. She was well known and loved by many, so those whose lives she touched cried an ocean of tears when she passed away. Whether you know someone personally or not a loss of a life is a sad thing to face and when you hear about it the natural thing to do is cry or really want to at the display or reflection of such as you relay seeing in that movie. Tears actually help to relieve stress and release sorrow. They're relaxing. | |
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| I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked!
Posted: 4/2/2007 1:36:53 PM | I actually like it when a man tears up at moving moment. I prefer a mate who possesses that quality.
To Msg8:
The answer would be "Blade Runner" .
Now, where are my quatloos (or did you bet them all on the newcomer?) | |
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| I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked!
Posted: 4/2/2007 4:15:08 PM | You know in spite of her strange reaction to my crying during the movie, and what it may have said about how screwed up inside she is, I felt really bad for her when she started sobbing on the phone afterwards.
I just dont like to see people in pain, no matter what the reason or what their feelings for me may be.
I guess it just hurts me to see others hurting no matter what the reason.
Brett | |
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| I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked!
Posted: 4/2/2007 4:40:57 PM | Hi BrettAlex,
Sorry to hear this..... something wrong here... when you state, "She told me that her man couldn't show any signs of weakness, that had he had to be strong all the time for her" .... hmmm all the time for her? think it should be for each other....
Might be best to carry on with your life...... sense some problems there....
Me, well some have called me the Michael Landon type....lol... yes, I tear up... but there hasn't been any person come up to me and say I wasn't strong or tough....lol...
Now, if you did the baby bawling in a high pitched voice in the over 85 decibel range and the people in the next several rows in front of you quickly moved or ran to get other seats.... then she might have some grounds...... O:)
Wishing you the best..... Move forward with your life.....don't forget your kleenex too.
O:)
PS I could just picture your phone call.....both crying and all.....hmmm -had too..;) | |
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j5rush
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Joined: 4/13/2006
Msg: 19 | |
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| I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked!
Posted: 4/2/2007 4:45:54 PM |
maybe the movie triggered something , maybe your emotion.
Evidentally, yes... he did say he would give her time. This is something she needs to work out and she needs to decide if she wants to continue seeing him. Or perhaps she needs to work out these issues before she decides to be with someone. | |
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| I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked!
Posted: 4/2/2007 4:51:15 PM | Sorry to have to agree with the majority here OP, but at first glance it seems she has some deep-seated emotional issues of her own to deal with, if she showed such an over-reaction to what was a perfectly normal response by you. I'd think there was something a little off with you if you HADN'T been a little caught up in the scene you described.
I saw "United 93" in a theater last year. Even knowing what was coming, it was hard not to be a little emotionally overwhelmed at the end, and I walked out of that movie with tears in my eyes, and not the least bit self-conscious about it. Its human!
PS-This isn't meant as a knock at you, but why would you first meet someone and see 2 movies in 2 days? Maybe your time would be better spent doing something that involves more conversation and getting to know each other instead of just sitting in a dark theater. Just a suggestion. | |
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Genrae
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Joined: 11/10/2006
Msg: 24 | |
| I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked!
Posted: 4/2/2007 4:55:02 PM | A "REAL MAN" is not afraid to show who he really is. Thanks for being one, Brett. The problem is hers, not yours. My reaction to your emotion would have been to reach over hold your hand and probably have a good cry with you.
Rae | |
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RJB888
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Joined: 11/23/2005
Msg: 25 | |
| I cried during a sad scene - and she freaked!
Posted: 4/2/2007 5:01:11 PM | OP:
I seen Rein over me....it has a couple of very heart wrenching scenes. Yes I was very teared up, there were men in the movie wiping their eyes and sniffling at those scenes.
OT:
We women are always saying we want a man that has the ability to show emotions. I'm sure you just don't break out with the tears at the drop of a dime. She should have been more understanding.
Let me say that if she didn't have a tear in her eye during those scenes she is a HIB...human ice burg. | |
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