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 Just Me:
Joined: 5/25/2005
Msg: 1
Why do men need to be chased?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
It's so silly....women prefer men who can take charge of the situation...makes them that much more appealing. I was out the other night just chatting with some guy. He later tells me he's going to go to the pool table area...okey. Not until sometime later I go there because I like to play pool and he comes up to me and says it's about time you came around...excuse me?!?! So I'm chatting with this other guy at the pool table, we're getting along. Then he moves and sits at another area...I don't move....then he later beckons me to come over...I'm not going to move...seems like just a silly game to me...and I always get guys that say...you never called...why don't they call if they want to hear from me...that's just silly...what's happened to the real take charge kind of men who know how to take care of the woman and not feel a need to be "chased"?!?!?
 EKboyInTheCity
Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 2
Why do men need to be chased?
Posted: 4/2/2007 11:22:18 PM
Sounds like you met a pretty insecure guy. I mean it's not like I don't have my own insecurities, but I think that was disrespectful of him. Not all men like to be chased, sure it can be flattering, but I sure don't need that.
 TigerBlackHawk
Joined: 8/5/2006
Msg: 3
Why do men need to be chased?
Posted: 4/2/2007 11:51:13 PM
The guy you described sounds like he was trying to test and see if you were interested in him.
He is probably one of those that doesn't take rejection well. Many of us guys are not good at the rejection phase. So he probably figured if you followed him, that maybe you were interested in him.
Then later when he left pool table area only to beckon you over, I'd say he was hoping to find a way to get you interested in him figuring you weren't so interested.

And like the other woman said, he does sound a bit insecure. Also sounds a little immature, don't know his age so that would be hard to guess at.

As for "Why don't the call?"
Your not a man so you might not understand. But let me ask you this from my point of view.. Have you ever given a man a bad phone number?

One night I called the Police Station in another city. ::smirks:: I didn't even ask for her phone number, she just gave me one. So why do women play those games? Pretend to be interested and then give you a false number.
So when I get a number I rub my chin and consider how serious she sounded when she gave it to me.

It gets harder and harder for men to be in charge when each year women get harder and harder to become involved with.

Hope this helps you to understand men a bit better.
 Just Me:
Joined: 5/25/2005
Msg: 4
Why do men need to be chased?
Posted: 4/3/2007 12:03:20 AM
Good first point...he was testing to see if I was interested..but the fact that I came by the pool area and didn't approach him should have let him know I wasn't that interested. It was another guy I was talking to by the pool table who was also playing another chasing game...and no I have never given a fake number...I'm not very good at lying...so I don't play these silly games either...but it is uncomfortable when someone asks for your number when you're not interested...prolly best to let her offer it to you or you give her yours.
 citymoose
Joined: 11/27/2006
Msg: 5
Why do men need to be chased?
Posted: 4/3/2007 12:16:28 AM
men like to be chased because they like to know you are interested, at first men put out signals that they are interested, sometimes they will check out the ladies, sometimes they will maintain the signals throughout the course of the night or day..but men like to be chased cause they like to feel important, its kind of like the reason why girls like to have friends, we like to feel included too
 citymoose
Joined: 11/27/2006
Msg: 6
Why do men need to be chased?
Posted: 4/3/2007 12:19:36 AM
also, we know that you dont like it when you think we're insecure, too obvious or desperate, so if we let ourselves get chased by you then we know you're at least interested and could begin in a fun way
 Name_Taken
Joined: 1/24/2007
Msg: 7
Why do men need to be chased?
Posted: 4/3/2007 12:58:46 AM
There are only 2 reasons that I know of so far in which a man acts in the way you are describing.

1) He is not really interested in you.

2) He is really interested in you.
 jumbo shrimp
Joined: 3/28/2007
Msg: 8
Why do men need to be chased?
Posted: 4/3/2007 1:47:22 AM
He wasn't asking to be chased, he was taking charge, and you balked.

He called you over, and you refused to go.
 rejectingall
Joined: 1/24/2007
Msg: 9
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Why do men need to be chased?
Posted: 4/3/2007 2:24:58 AM
Men like to be chased because if they do the chasing they get called stalkers, or male chauvenist pigs, or womanizers....

It is not politically correct for a man to be a man any more.

Blame the feminists. They want men to be metrosexuals. (which to me means, gay in every way except the bedroom, and then don't admit that.)
 AvroArrow
Joined: 3/6/2007
Msg: 10
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Why do men need to be chased?
Posted: 4/3/2007 2:35:56 AM
Bravo FredHH!!! You hit the nail right on the head! So many women have charged men with stalking and other related things that some men have basically said "**** it, you don't want us to chase you, then you get nothing until you show interest to us." The problem is, trying to find a woman with enough backbone to make the first move is like trying to find a member of the acting academy that would nominate a Mel Brooks movie. We don't need to be chased at all, the problem is, we read so much and hear so much about stalking that we say "I'm not going to do that." and next thing you know, we're in our current position. No wonder the reproductive rate in first world countries is so low compared the the rest of the planet...lol

- AvroArrow (Wisdom from the unwise *wink!*)
 lovableladywanted
Joined: 5/14/2006
Msg: 11
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Why do men need to be chased?
Posted: 4/3/2007 3:37:50 AM
I read your profile and it says you are looking long term. I guess you are frustrated with your situation with the opposite sex. I can tell by your tone. Be yourself and things will happen . You will also get more contacts if you post a pic. Not every man wants to be chased and those that do might not be interested . If they are game playing than they are not for you , I would imagine.
 mr_peabody
Joined: 3/18/2007
Msg: 12
Why do men need to be chased?
Posted: 4/3/2007 6:10:27 AM
Don't be so naive as to think we don't all want some attention. If you weren't interested just say so instead of twisting it around to make us men out as weak. It is obvious you weren't that into him so why complain about it to others? Otherwise if you were, you were the one playing games, trying to get as much attention from all the other guys there as you could. It sounds like maybe you were the needy one, not him. I walk away from chicks like you, too. And if you eventually join me (cause the other guys got sick of you) then I just taunt you with the lines those guys were hitting you with. You were being rude especially if he understood you had promised to meet up with him only to be late and then hang out with other guys.
 69_dude
Joined: 10/30/2006
Msg: 13
Why do men need to be chased?
Posted: 4/3/2007 6:54:43 AM
yeah that went the way of the dodo!!!
probably part of the pruification from the 50's ...
ok realistically, probably being a bit insecure, the only part of the chase that I am not really into is when you meet someone and you call and they say to you that they will call back and do not... cause well the man should always call.
If you want to call me and if say you are going to call then call, I will not chase at that point as it can be a power struggle from the get go and that does not generally materialize into a good relationship.

just my 2 cents worth
 Jameseroo
Joined: 8/2/2006
Msg: 14
Why do men need to be chased?
Posted: 4/3/2007 7:51:48 AM
Ok wait mayan riviera .. so are you saying that men have to -always- take charge?

It also sounds like a lot of people here are stuck in the "dataing stone ages." Women are allowed to vote now too people.

Jesus - why do people insist on playing these stupid games in stead of just doing whatever feels right / good !?

Men "need to be chased" for the same damn reasons that women do. Duh!

_james_
 ubkobalt
Joined: 5/7/2006
Msg: 15
Why do men need to be chased?
Posted: 4/3/2007 8:13:09 AM
Step one: Dress up as a man.
Step two: Approach women

Let us know how it goes, and if you hold the same opinion.
 nicebluiz
Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 16
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Why do men need to be chased?
Posted: 4/3/2007 9:22:46 AM
Doesn't sound at all like game of "chase" to me. He went where he wanted to go (he led), and you didn't follow. Sorry to tell you, dearie, but he went his own way, and he joked about "it's about time you showed up," when you did put in an appearance. Doesn't seem so insecure to me. He was secure enough to go where he wanted to with or without you.

Another poster also was correct in the fact that it's no longer cool to be a "real take charge" kind of man. In fact, he'll be labelled a "playa" or stalker, or worse.
 TigerBlackHawk
Joined: 8/5/2006
Msg: 17
Why do men need to be chased?
Posted: 4/3/2007 9:28:57 AM
::Smiles:: In response to what Fred said about "Stalkers, Womanizers and such."

I actually had this female doctor tell me when she learned I was out looking for a girlfriend. She goes, "Well if you find a woman and you choose to have sex before marriage. Get written permission from the woman first so she won't charge you for rape."

Now this doctor is almost 70 years old. Its kind of scary for a woman that age to make such a comment.

Makes a man even more leary of even getting close to the woman if he does catch her. And here women say we don't show our emotions. If we do we could go to jail.
 goomba2
Joined: 1/29/2007
Msg: 18
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Why do men need to be chased?
Posted: 4/3/2007 9:46:23 AM
"women prefer men who can take charge of the situation...makes them that much more appealing."

Ok

"he moves and sits at another area...I don't move....then he later beckons me to come over...I'm not going to move...seems like just a silly game to me"

HUH??? So instead of following you around like a puppy, he tries to take charge and see if you have any interest in him by getting you to come over to him. From what it sounds like, you want him to grovel at your feet. Follow you everywhere you go and boost your little ego with phone calls. It is a silly game, so why are you playing it? Why not give a man a chance to have an ego boost once in a while.

"what's happened to the real take charge kind of men who know how to take care of the woman "

Oh please. Search through the ask a guy threads and count out how many pop with the typical line of, "Are men old fashioned, do they feel like the need to support us, we're strong/independant, etc." Then followed by something like "do men constantly need to flirt?, I'm so tired of men hitting on me, men should always pay for the first(potentially only) date."

I don't chase anymore, been there, done that, pain in the azz. In factI'm not even looking for a relationship anymore. Am I weak-bitter- sorry-man blah blah blah, fiiiine. Whatever gives you fodder for you little circle of vindictive girlfriends to rant on about. I'm done.
 Doos
Joined: 8/5/2006
Msg: 19
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Why do men need to be chased?
Posted: 4/3/2007 10:14:57 AM
From your post, it's hard to gather what kind of tone was being used by this guy. The statements made by him could have been quite playful, but taken the wrong way by you, if you weren't in a playful mood. I assume though, that you know playful when you hear it, and perhaps that was not the tone of the remarks.

Let's say for example, that this fella had been very attractive. If he had used those same lines, with a playful tone, would you have chased? If not, why not? Both sexes like to be chased, don't they? It's just a way for one to show interest in the other.

Nobody 'needs' to be chased, but it is a nice feeling when there is some playful back and forth between two people showing interest in one another.. Everyone wants to be wanted.

Dustin.
 onesimpleneed
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 20
Why do men need to be chased?
Posted: 4/3/2007 10:24:38 AM
I don't chase. Never have never will. Then again, I'm attracted to strong confident women. If someone is interested in me, they have to approach me not the other way around. I see guys get shot down all the time, or played. I don't need to be wasting my time.

That and my knees are shot! They told me give up running and cycling or start taking glucosamine and flaxseed oil. I couldn't chase anything right now! Plus I'm getting older and even if I caught someone, I'd probably forget what to do with them once I caught them!
 Genuine_Intensity
Joined: 3/22/2007
Msg: 21
Why do men need to be chased?
Posted: 4/3/2007 12:54:25 PM
the take charge kind of a man is now viewed as a creep and a stalker to women. he is seen as too desperate and too willing. So a lot of guys have turned to playing games like this b/c that's what women are into these days.
 Piano4te
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 22
Why do men need to be chased?
Posted: 4/3/2007 7:39:54 PM
"Step one: Dress up as a man.
Step two: Approach women

Let us know how it goes, and if you hold the same opinion."

Amen!!!!.....but before you actually DO that.....go get a book called 'Self Made Man' by Norah Vincent......she's a lesbian who actually dressed like a man to research her book...and then dated women AS a MAN.....

Her findings from the book??? She actually went away feeling very sorry for the CRAP that most men have to tolerate from the heterosexual opposite sex........

Now go get your spirit gum.......get them whiskers attached.....and get out there..... find out what it's like........
 NannieKate
Joined: 2/5/2007
Msg: 23
Why do men need to be chased?
Posted: 4/3/2007 8:27:51 PM
Men like to be chased because if they do the chasing they get called stalkers, or male chauvenist pigs, or womanizers....

It is not politically correct for a man to be a man any more.

Blame the feminists. They want men to be metrosexuals. (which to me means, gay in every way except the bedroom, and then don't admit that.)


Oh wow, I find it very sad that things have come to this. I love for the man to take the initiative.


'Chased' is a pretty provocative word. I would vastly prefer that a man lead, but like dancing, I expect to do my part as well.

why do people insist on playing these stupid games in stead of just doing whatever feels right / good !?


Preferences aren't games. They are simply inclinations we discover that work for us. Political correctness can't program what turns me on. :) If we honor our preferences then we actually ARE doing what feels right.
 ddream
Joined: 8/24/2006
Msg: 24
Why do men need to be chased?
Posted: 4/3/2007 9:02:39 PM
Sounds to me he wanted to turn tables for once..
 Strongbadia
Joined: 9/3/2006
Msg: 25
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Why do men need to be chased?
Posted: 4/3/2007 9:13:52 PM
Wait sister! first of all, I recall in the 60's and 70's your gender burnt their bras and shouted for equal rights. Now you go to work everyday and sit ing freakin traffic and put up with retarded bosses just like men do. And this is not even new info.

Should you all be treated like ladies? Yes. Does that mean that men do not want to be chases a bit sometimes too?

You all created the "sensitive" man crap. So I would go **** slap Oprah if you are annoyed by it. ;)
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