Shoal
| | Joined: 11/24/2006
Msg: 1 | |
| | Guys / Girls...do we understand each other?Page 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | One of the things that most often occurs is males & females tend to misunderstand each other....so how about we bring in our differences & see if we can gain some better understanding of each other.
In what ways are we different?
What are our different needs / requirements?
How do we think / feel differently?
In what ways do communication styles differ?
What turns us on / floats our boat / motivates us?
In what ways have our roles changed?
Do you know where you stand in different role?
How are probs solved?
Any other ?'s or suggestions......
There's enough wars/battles ongoing, so please no battle of the sexes here!
Ok let the fun begin | |
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| Guys / Girls...do we understand each other?
Posted: 4/3/2007 5:12:47 AM | I think women are more emotional and in return, need more emotions given back, than men.
I think women are naturally more nurturing and caring than men because we have the maternal instinct inbuilt in us.
I think women are generally more communicative than men and express themselves more freely. I think this is because we have closer friends and we talk to them more than what men do with their friends.
I think both women's and men's roles have changed over the years and are becoming pretty much the same regarding working and parental roles with the increase of more and more women becoming career oriented and more and more men becoming stay at home dads. | |
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| Guys / Girls...do we understand each other?
Posted: 4/4/2007 2:09:56 AM | I dont understand....
lol
i dont understand men at all
and sometimes i dont understand women
i understand myself.......smile
and im not going to try to understand either......its just not possible
besides.......its more mysterious not understanding | |
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| Guys / Girls...do we understand each other?
Posted: 4/4/2007 3:00:12 AM | That's funny gypsy. 
Actually it's a good point though.
I don't really understand men at all, even though I lived with one for over 20 years.
And I've been living with a small one (my son) for the last 13.
And like yourself, I don't really understand women either, except for my best 2 friends and my Mum.
I have had a really upsetting day today actually and it was a woman that caused my grief. My boyfriend's ex girlfriend. In some bizarre chain of circumstances that I will not go into here because it is far too ludicrous and tedious to the outsider, I have been liaising via email with my boyfriend's ex girlfriend. And I have only just realised today (well with the help of my best friend) that she is not the nice helpful woman that I thought she was. I have been feeling quite ill and upset most of the day and have had to try and put on a happy Eastertime face for my family this afternoon when really I just felt like going into my bedroom, locking the door, getting under my quilt and going to sleep for the day. (That's what my little black cat does when she's scared and upset - except for locking the door I mean).
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| Guys / Girls...do we understand each other?
Posted: 4/4/2007 3:11:31 AM | Yes Safire
I see exactly where your at ......its not just trying to understand men
But other women
why can they be so vindictive
why can they spend half their life complaining yet do nothing to fix it
why to they think their best friend likes to hear their woes day in day out ( especially when you give multiple suggestions and they dont want to do anything to help themselves)....lol
these are things i just dont understand
please dont let any girl upset you...at least not for long......its just not worth it.....smile
Give your cat a big hug....then come back out and enjoy life | |
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| Guys / Girls...do we understand each other?
Posted: 4/4/2007 3:38:12 AM | Thank you gypsy. You have made me smile. Well that is before I tried to hug my cat. She was under my bed and would not be coaxed out so I wriggled and slid under there with her and tried to hug her but she bit me and I banged my shoulder and my head on the underneath of the bed. She is not the most affectionate of cats but I love her so much.  | |
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| Guys / Girls...do we understand each other?
Posted: 4/4/2007 5:50:23 AM | I personally understand women even less then i understand men.
Would rather have an arguement with a man then a woman anyday.Men will tell you to your face what the problem is and resolve it there and then and move on.Women will tell you everything is fine and bide their time before turning round,b1tch slapping you and impaling your head on their stilletto.
Maybe i was a man in a former life.......... | |
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Shoal
| | Joined: 11/24/2006
Msg: 9 | |
| Guys / Girls...do we understand each other?
Posted: 4/4/2007 8:47:55 AM | I too can understand most men better than women...that goes - relationships with family members, friends, etc.
I felt inclined to start this thread as I've noticed offence has often been felt through alot of posts, here in Australia & others, yet in many instances I just couldn't understand why it occured.
I think gaining understanding of the differences in communication styles, etc. certainly impacts - better interaction, which leads to better relationships.
Many young couples are seeking guidance from marriage councellors before they marry nowadays
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| Guys / Girls...do we understand each other?
Posted: 4/4/2007 5:51:56 PM | I think Women are more complex than the Male.
Us girls tend to analyse,people and situations and therefor make things more complicated than they really are.
Men are just lovely,creatures and so universal.
Give me a bloke,anyday...lol | |
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| Guys / Girls...do we understand each other?
Posted: 4/4/2007 6:27:22 PM | now if we all understood each other where would the fun go?
you will never achieve understanding of the opposite sex. thats just the way the universe works. roflmao!!
but i'll amuse you by checking out your questions
In what ways are we different?
ummm is this a trick question?
What are our different needs / requirements?
again is this a trick question
How do we think / feel differently?
men visual / women emotional this one we already know
In what ways do communication styles differ?
this isnt a gender issue, this is a personality issue. you'll never find the answer to this one as everyone has different views on this point. dont try to group people into catagories because our lives and views change so often you cant keep up.
What turns us on / floats our boat / motivates us?
again not a gender issue. im not into toe sucking but apparently Fergie is and we are the same gender!!
In what ways have our roles changed?
history has the answer to this one. google it!!
Do you know where you stand in different role?
which role are you referring to?
How are probs solved?
is this a gender issue?
Any other ?'s or suggestions......
yes!! i suggest you stop making mountains out of molehills. these questions you have asked are not gender issues. they are people issues. are you trying to understand people or specific genders?
another suggestion would be to stop trying to understand what can not be understood. | |
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Shoal
| | Joined: 11/24/2006
Msg: 12 | |
| Guys / Girls...do we understand each other?
Posted: 4/4/2007 6:42:12 PM | Maybe i was a man in a former life...............I somehow don't think I was ?
I've been thinking about the "Full Monty' show this morning...it's soo worth seeing them if you get the chance...they're hilarious  | |
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ebgdae
| | Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 13 | |
| Guys / Girls...do we understand each other?
Posted: 4/4/2007 7:17:13 PM | Re message 10;
"I think Women are more complex than the Male."
ya think!!!,,,,~rolls eyes~,,,lol,,, ok,,,just a tad | |
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Shoal
| | Joined: 11/24/2006
Msg: 14 | |
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Shoal
| | Joined: 11/24/2006
Msg: 15 | |
| Guys / Girls...do we understand each other?
Posted: 4/5/2007 1:06:33 AM | In response - MzScrubber
now if we all understood each other where would the fun go?...It can be fun - learn about each other 
you will never achieve understanding of the opposite sex. thats just the way the universe works. roflmao!!....That may be your view, however, I'm glad it's not all people's view or a universally shared view.
but i'll amuse you by checking out your questions....?...Re - my ?'s. No trick ?'s were included. They're just basic & generally open ?'s to form discussion
i suggest you stop making mountains out of molehills....That's not what this is about.
these questions you have asked are not gender issues they are people issues.....It's good to see you can understand that much
are you trying to understand people or specific genders?....I have a keen interest in learning & understanding - human nature / psychology.
another suggestion would be to stop trying to understand what can not be understood....You may assume understanding can't be gained, however, you also want me & other people to stop trying? That's a rather closed suggestion. I'm so glad there's nothing to stop people learning & gaining understanding about each other or anything else. | |
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| Guys / Girls...do we understand each other?
Posted: 4/5/2007 3:02:49 AM | I think that trying to understand the opposite sex will be a neverending quest but it is an interesting and fun one to pursue!
I had that game Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars (note that I say HAD). I played it once years and years ago when I was with my husband. We played it with some friends of ours. We played it ONCE only. It was one of the worst nights I have ever had in company. We all got upset over it - we argued with our spouses and with our best friends. It was husband against wife and also wife against wife and husband against husband. It was awful and it all ended in tears and shouting.
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| Guys / Girls...do we understand each other?
Posted: 4/6/2007 6:07:04 PM | When I read the Mars/Venus book years ago, I remember thinking that I could relate to much of the Mars stuff. Venus behaviour rang a few bells too, but I've definitely spent some time on Mars somewhere in my formative years. I've also noticed that if I'm seeing a guy who has some Venus behaviours of his own (crashing waves diva type dramatics and all that), I become even more Mars and build walls, shorten my replies and head off to a cave. Makes me wonder if the roles are somehow meant to be complementary (???), that one creates the other???
This might be a little off track, but biological undercurrents in social behaviour always fascinate me.....I was told the other day that some scientists have said that the notion of opposites attracting has a biological basis. Apparently from a genetic point of view, a mix or balance of traits in a person is better for the species. If 2 people who are the same make a new person, that new person might have too concentrated a dose of the particular traits their parents shared, and nature prefers to seek balance.
How have our roles changed...
We tend to proclaim that the historical roles of breadwinner/homemaker are no longer considered typical, however social research still consistently shows that women in a relationship do do more of the housework and more of the childcare, so I'm not sure we're as far away from tradition as we might like to think. My husband did all the cooking in our marriage, and women always used to gush over that as if it was a mega-achievement on his part to do it and on my part to "get him" to do it. He liked it, I don't, it was never a big issue for us. Nobody ever gushed over the fact that I cleaned the toilet and mopped the floor, or asked him how he "got me" to do that.
Plus I notice from people's reactions that typically-gender-based stuff is still the best basis for a compliment for a person. Most (not all perhaps) women would rather be told that they are a caring and compassionate person than to be told they could sure hold their own in a pub arm wrestle. Most men would rather be told that they are dynamos at work than to be told that they have lovely eyelashes.
In what ways are we different...
Obviously there's deeper level stuff to say on this but justone silly little thing I've noticed - women feel cold when men don't. (I mean physically cold, not emotionally cold) In every couple I know, this is the case. She's putting on a jumper, and he's quite comfortable. She wants the blanket on, he doesn't. I suppose there is a biological explanation?
Different needs...
Men say they don't want to be demasculated. Women say they don't want to feel unappreciated. Just different ways of describing that they want respect.
Women seem to need to talk about things more/for longer. I know with my girlfriends, sometimes they can talk about the same thing for aaaages, until they resolve it in their own head. Other women get that, and hang in there, whereas if she tries it with a guy he'll probably get bored with the repetition....then she'll think he doesn't care. Women love it when they meet a guy who understands that 'need' to talk until it feels better.
How do we think differently...
I think women notice/remember details more than men do. I'm not conscious of the difference normally, but when I do meet a guy who is good with observing and recalling details it surprises me because it isn't that common.
How are probs solved...
Male friends tell me that when they argue with their wives, they have to be so careful with the words they choose because 'she' will pick up on some word, hone in on it, and give it a level of importance the man never intended it to have. Most also say that when they try and take the time to form their words, 'she' gets impatient about the fact that 'he' is not saying something. I've heard this pattern described so many times, and have been the 'she' in that scenario on occasion as well.
What motivates us...
I think we all want the same things (happiness, love, health, safety, belonging) even though these might manifest in different ways. | |
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| Guys / Girls...do we understand each other?
Posted: 4/6/2007 7:11:25 PM |
I think women are generally more communicative than men and express themselves more freely. I think this is because we have closer friends and we talk to them more than what men do with their friends.
So so true. Maybe we should be communicating more with each other than with our friends. Relationships are between two people, not a social circle of friends. | |
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| Guys / Girls...do we understand each other?
Posted: 4/6/2007 7:58:03 PM | | Well said Naamah..........In the relationship thing i find it most interesting when a couple is in tune with one another and can anticipate what the other is thinking welllll almost For me its something like being as one there are no boundaries rules or inhibitions you should already know whats right and wrong through the communication and understanding part unfortunately its not always the case While this rare indeed it happens its something we should all try to aspire to but then again when it comes to man and woman the world is not perfect is it | |
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| Guys / Girls...do we understand each other?
Posted: 4/6/2007 11:06:01 PM |
i find it most interesting when a couple is in tune with one another and can anticipate what the other is thinking
Funny thing...I used to be able to read my husband's mind. Laugh if you will, but seriously, once we realised it was getting a bit uncanny we used to play with it and test it...if he wanted me to get something on the way home he would think it, and lo and behold I would get some odd desire to impulse buy something or other, and that would be what he wanted. I remember coming home oneday with some type of lollies I didn't particularly like and would never normally buy cos I had never known my husband to eat them either, and turned out he had a friend over who wanted these lollies. His friend had mentioned his craving to my husband, and he'd told his friend he'd think it to me and I'd bring it...which I did, much to his friend's amazement. Also on a less light note, one night he was in hospital, and I got an odd feeling at about 3am that something was wrong, called the hospital and he was just having a seizure. Lots of weird stuff like that went on with us.
Unfortunately it never worked in reverse and he couldn't read my mind. Probably too fractured in there to decipher properly. | |
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| Guys / Girls...do we understand each other?
Posted: 4/6/2007 11:56:00 PM | | Im still trying to understand this thing called "womens intuition" but like one friend of mine said if you try that you will be more braindead than you already are i tend agree | |
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Shoal
| | Joined: 11/24/2006
Msg: 22 | |
| Guys / Girls...do we understand each other?
Posted: 4/11/2007 5:22:37 AM | This has been partially gained from John Gray's book 'Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus' & notes from one of his seminars.
Although almost everyone would agree that men and women are different, how different is still undefined for most people.
Men and women differ in all areas of their lives. Not only do men & women communicate differently but they think, feel, perceive, react, respond, love, need, and appreciate differently.
To improve relations between the sexes it is necessary to create an understanding of our differences that raises self-esteem and personal dignity while inspiring mutual trust, personal responsibility, increased cooperation, and greater love.
Through understanding how completely different men and women are, you will learn new ways for successfully relating with, listening to, and supporting the opposite sex. You will learn how to create the love you deserve.
The differences between men and women are universal.
Men use their brain sequentially, one part at a time & tend to do one thing at a time. They have a tunnel vision. 95% of their attention is focused on just one thing and 5% on checking of the environment. Women are just the opposite. They usually use the whole brain at once. They do many things at a time & are continuously taking in everything that there is in the environment whether it is useful or not.
90% of women go into therapy because they want to be listened to. They want to be asked questions. They want to feel special. Men hate to be questioned. If men want to talk they’ll talk. If they don’t want to talk they won’t.
Men want to forget the problems of the day. A man will say “Forget it, it’s no big deal.” Women want to remember. For a woman she will not rest till the problem is talked about.
Men are efficiency oriented. Must do it the easiest and fastest way. Women on the other hand feel that taking the shortest path between two points is boring.
Men go by the same formula every time while women want variation.
Women by nature give more. But when they find that they are not getting anything in return they need to give to themselves. Men want to get more. They have no problem in giving to themselves. Men don’t give enough to others.
When a woman touches a man she may want to be cuddled. But for a man anywhere he is touched leads to Rome and he thinks therefore that it has to lead to sex.
Women complain that “He only touches me is when he wants sex”. And men complain that “She doesn’t want to have enough of sex.”
In men testosterone lowers stress. In women oxytocin lowers stress.
Men stress more on what they do while women stress more on their being.
Men put in more effort in their work. He focusses on work no matter what the problems are that are being experienced at home. He needs to feel needed. He needs problems to be solved. If there are no job opportunities or there is no effort called for to do something then the man feels depressed. As women enter into the workplace their need to being listened to and understood is not being met. The workplace is efficiency oriented. They are becoming more and more isolated. They have to raise their children alone. Unseen and unheard. And this is causing them to go more into depression.
When women feel nurtured they feel happy. They are happy with the small things of life. Man likes to measure himself against the goal he has set for himself.
We need not be bothered to be perfect in order to be loved. Once one lives in an atmosphere of perfect trust the more authentic one becomes, and the more authentic one becomes the more irresistible one becomes. The closer we are to who we truly are the more people will love us. | |
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| Guys / Girls...do we understand each other?
Posted: 4/11/2007 6:30:44 AM | I wonder if guys even look hard enough or try to understand girls. Ive had a very frustrating and lonely week. What looked likely to be a great Easter with a possible suitor turned into a disaster when all he wanted was to get his rocks off by texting me over 70 times in one day, while trying to pretend he was a nice guy. Actually i came to the conclusion he must still be married.
Then another guy I thought was a friend let me know he was there for me and did I want to come over to his place in a skirt and high heels. When are guys going to understand that sex comes only after we meet and only if we connect intellectually and definately not after 10mins of conversation in the back of his car.
Do guys think that women see this as attractive. I have had guys send me photos of their tackle before a photo of their face.
I dont think my profile reads desperately in need of a F***. Yet guys seem to think this is an attractive opening line.
Come on guys show a bit of guts and class, let us see what you are really like before you show us your bits. In reality sex is a small part of a real relationship, what is sexy is when someone connects with you by doing some small insignificant task. | |
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| Guys / Girls...do we understand each other?
Posted: 4/11/2007 7:00:49 PM | I do not understand women, but where would be the fun in that if I did..
love the unknow,
love the differances.
but would be nice if you said what you meant..
smile
David | |
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| Guys / Girls...do we understand each other?
Posted: 4/13/2007 2:34:40 AM | Interesting comments peoples...apart from the obvious differences which include the physical, emotional and communicative aspects, deep down I think that men and women really want the same thing...that is to be loved, understood and accepted for ourselves. | |
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