| | What are men really looking for on these sitesPage 1 of 6 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6) | | Perhaps someone on here can shed some light on what men are really looking for on dating web sites. I think I have tried them all and I am just about to give up. Why do men ask to meet and then seem to have a great time and then you never hear from them? What's even worse, it seems that the first chance they have, they are back on here checking to see what can only be described as they are trying to trade up. I am beginning to think that men see these sites as dessert trays where they can pick and choose one sample to the next. Someone please enlighten me on this subject. Inquiring minds what to know. | |
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| wandering minds, females are the same
Posted: 4/6/2007 4:58:52 AM | you most likely don't want to hear from them if they're running at the first thing.
take your time and have patience. it's like winning a lottery | |
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| What are men really looking for on these sites
Posted: 4/6/2007 5:11:01 AM | To put it very simply they're like kids in a candy store with 5 bucks to spend, I can just visualize it.........I want this one.... no that one........ I'll take them all. To explain the concept of mature choosing is useless.  | |
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| What are men really looking for on these sites
Posted: 4/6/2007 5:34:16 AM |
To explain the concept of mature choosing is useless. Interesting concept, but it fits.
Why do men ask to meet and then seem to have a great time and then you never hear from them? Perhaps it was simply that - a great time but perhaps not quite the connection he was looking for. Not being contacted back should reflect that.
What's even worse, it seems that the first chance they have, they are back on here checking to see what can only be described as they are trying to trade up. This would probably indicate that you are tracking or following this person's activity to perhaps give you some sort of closure as to why the connection didn't continue. Let it go.
I am beginning to think that men see these sites as dessert trays where they can pick and choose one sample to the next. That may be true but I don't believe it's exclusive to the male gender. | |
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| What are men really looking for on these sites
Posted: 4/6/2007 5:45:52 AM | That may be true but I don't believe it's exclusive to the male gender.
You are absolutely correct. Both men AND women are predatory by nature. They will hunt until they find exactly what they think they want. Some are cognizant of the feelings of the other party and some are not. This has absolutely nothing to do with gender.
I am beginning to think that men see these sites as dessert trays where they can pick and choose one sample to the next.
Are you trying to say that you don't pick and choose who YOU want to go out with? I most certainly do and admit it freely. It's like the snacker who approaches a smorgasbord and says "The samples were good, now when do we eat?" I will know what I was really looking for when I find it. As for now? Pass the dessert tray, please! | |
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| What are men really looking for on these sites
Posted: 4/6/2007 5:47:26 AM | | you know thats about the best way to explain it. i had that special feeling once and i found out things were alot diff on the other end. the feelings i had were real special and there so had to find again. | |
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| What are men really looking for on these sites
Posted: 4/6/2007 5:59:16 AM | | I can't and won't speak for all men; just for myself. What do I want? Consistency. Personally, I'm looking for someone whose behavior matches their profile. I narrow things down by the "big" criteria.....location, age, race, etc. Once this is done, I re-check for interest and lifestyle similarities, and looks. I also make note of things like spelling and originality, as I think they give a great insight into the author. (If I read one more profile that says " I can dress up or down, dine in or out, and walk on the beach", I swear I'll hurl.) I send a note next.....this seems to be the "acid test". A woman with class will respond either way to a polite, legitamate request for correspondence, a rude or lazy one doesn't respond at all. Or, she's just "fishing"....which is fine, unless she states she WANTS to meet people. I've noticed over the years on various sites that there are many women who state clearly in their text that they want "No game players, honest and open only"....and proceed to play the game of not responding, being vague or cryptic in their responses, or mis-stating facts. Thing is, you should be offering the same qualities you seek. Sorry, now I'm rambling....but the short answer is...CONSISTENCY. | |
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| What are men really looking for on these sites
Posted: 4/6/2007 6:07:52 AM | Perhaps someone on here can shed some light on what men are really looking for on dating web sites. I think I have tried them all and I am just about to give up. I hope you mean tried all the sites, not all the men.
Why do men ask to meet and then seem to have a great time and then you never hear from them? That means they didn't really have such a great time, but were bing kind and polite, or, it means they had a great time but were hoping to get laid and when turned down, moved on.
I would enlighten you but I am clueless myself. I have been trying to understand why not how come not every women on this thing doesn't fall to her knees begging me for my manly love, since I am obviously all that. My theories fail me. | |
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| What are men really looking for on these sites
Posted: 4/6/2007 6:20:21 AM | I can't tell you what all men are looking for on dating sites, i can only tell you what i am looking for on the site.
I'm looking to start dating again, plain and simple, after a particularly hard breakup from an 8 year relationship i only now feel ready to try again (been just over a year since the split), and using sites like these are a decent way for me to build a rapor with a person before meeting them, which i find nice (and unnearving).
I think it's bad whats happened to you (i really do), as it must have affected you (seeing as you made a thread about it), but i do think your post should say "why do some men" and not just "why do men", were not all like that, some of us are decent (i think). | |
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| What are men really looking for on these sites
Posted: 4/6/2007 6:25:44 AM | they meet you and you have a great time and you never
hear from them again because they have so much to choose from
you are just another face in the line at the beauty pageant I call POF-
do yourself a favor- find someone here - contact him - you have a better
chance of getting what you want and meeting someone that will knock the
wind out of you - you make the choice - not them - that way you catch
him off guard - and you may actually meet what you are looking for- | |
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| What are men really looking for on these sites
Posted: 4/6/2007 7:59:46 AM | I can so relate to your feeling of these online dating sites. I feel as though Ive been shopped like I was on a rack in a bargain bargain bargain store..it will make you crasy if you allow it.
I agree that it almost seems hopeless to actually find a person that will give us the comfort of belief & reality. I wonder why Im still here, but then Ill wander into the " sucess stories" , smile with the idea that all is not lost! Hope is what you put into it, dont give up girlie, just take a break as I have . Dont allow yourself to be absorbed with the negative aspects of these crasy dating sites, there are many of them. But Im hoping against all hope..that NO..Not all men are the same. | |
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| What are men really looking for on these sites
Posted: 4/6/2007 8:04:34 AM | All I am looking for is for dates,nothing long term couldnt handle that shite again , an some fcuk buddies to keep me entertained , see not hiding anything.  | |
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| What are men really looking for on these sites
Posted: 4/6/2007 10:00:50 AM | LADIES!!!
Here is what I don’t understand. You are all saying that POF is like a smorgasbord for men, yet this site contains significantly more male than female profiles. If anything, the gender with the smorgasbord is you…the females. So when I read all the complaints in this thread, I can’t help but to think that there is a significant amount of double standard reflected here. I highly doubt that you are not doing the very same thing you are complaining about!!!!!! After all, you have a much broader selection to choose from.
Just my 2 cents | |
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| What are men really looking for on these sites
Posted: 4/6/2007 10:16:37 AM | I can't speak for all males on this site, nor can I speak for any but myself. I for one am looking to meet a nice down to earth honest woman, to share what life I may have left, and to enjoy things together.
Again I have to say what you describe, Loyallatina, can be attributed to a lot of females on this and other dating sites. I am sure there are a lot of devent females as well as males, but seems like it is virtually impossible to get together. Again I believe there are a lot of both sexes, that have a lot to offer a potential life long partner, if only given a chance. But when one or the other does not answer an email, or takes the chance on meeting, then there can never be a chance.
There seems like there a number of females as well as males that do not want the average person, but looking for someone out of Playboy or Playgirl magazine. And when the conquest is over, they have no further use for the other person. | |
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| What are men really looking for on these sites
Posted: 4/6/2007 11:32:47 AM | Though every man on here has as many different reasons as women to be on this site, there are always commonalities, though there are always the difference of the sexes. I would say that my frustration with this site is how both males and females have perception problems and skyward expectations that keep them from experiencing opportunities. My experience is not nearly as bad as one guy I read that had everything going for him (Lavalife user); sent out 7000 emails and didn't have a single reply in one year!!! He then set up a fake profile as a woman, and started getting 500 plus a day without saying a thing!! Perhaps we all have been over-marketed by the media as to expectations for everything.. both men and women! I am a great guy and many would consider a good catch. I have sent out many emails, but have gotten very few responses from women that are even really willing to check me out.. When one actually said not interested; I was happy; at least it was honest, polite and I had some reason why.. cool no big deal.. at least some feedback..  | |
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| wandering minds, females are the same
Posted: 4/6/2007 1:53:38 PM | Sounds like you've described 1/3 of the woman I've gone out on dates with from interent dating sites.
As for me, some I look at the sites to fall and love and marry | |
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| What are men really looking for on these sites
Posted: 4/6/2007 3:08:00 PM | | Some are looking for just dates...some are just playing the field...some are looking to just get laid...some are looking for relationships & then there are those rare ones who are honestly looking for a "rest-of-my-life" mate but who really knows for sure??? Whatever the reason may be, the proper thing to do in the end is...let them know in a nice,polite way that you are not interested...don't just leave them "hanging". | |
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| What are men really looking for on these sites
Posted: 4/6/2007 3:19:50 PM | I think most people on here, after they have been on here for a sometime, receiveing a gazzillion messages, just go with the no repsone ,not interested,I can live with that. I don't need a reply to say thanks, but not interested. To answer your question, sex seems to be #1 reason. have a nice night everyone | |
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| What are men really looking for on these sites
Posted: 4/6/2007 3:25:42 PM | | Ahhh!The same can be said about women.I,m just about to give up myself.Things are not any different up here in the Great White North than in Florida.Nothing will change. | |
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| What are men really looking for on these sites
Posted: 4/6/2007 3:26:00 PM | Let me explain the first date and why some don't get past it...
If I go out with a woman and she doesn't offer to pick up the tab or pay her half, I will take away the notion that she is not very generous or fair-minded or selfish, not a good partner in other words. The offer is all important, of course, only rarely do I take her up on it. Only if I think she is truly interested in being an equal partner, now that is very sexy.
If her body language does not suggest she is into me, I will not see her again. Is her body pointing towards me, has she expressed interest by touching my arm, etc. Most women who do this don't even realize they are doing it, I know cause I ask and they express sincere surprise. So it is hard to fake.
If she is rude to the waiters and waitresses or ignores ppl that I say hello to or that say hello back, then it is someone that is not very warm or kind.
If not intellectually stimulating then she is just another pretty face and we have nothing in common, again, not a good partner.
If she only takes, takes, take and doesn't give, or meet me half way then not a good partner.
If she has poor manners or is loud or does other rude things, then not in my class.
I will still act respectful to her throughout the entire date but I usually let them know that we are not a match, unless she was particularly rude or hostile and then she doesn't deserve my respect. | |
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