| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/6/2007 4:02:28 PM | Hey guys,
My guy is still active on 3 dating sites (that I know of). We have been dating for 6 months and I have started to fall in love with him. I have not told him this yet though. I sense that he really has feelings for me too. His logging on to these dating sites really bothers me. Some of these dating sites he has been a member of for almost 3 years and there are NO forums to post on. Any sense as to why he still logs in? Is there such a thing as online dating addiction? I really want our relationship to grow into something great. *sigh* | |
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| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/6/2007 4:20:32 PM | Woah! Put the brakes on FAST!
Stop and really look at what's going here, OK?
"I really want our relationship to grow into something great."
Yes, YOU do. And you're making a classic mistake in thinking that he feels the same way you do. He doesn't. And we know he doesn't, because if he did, his actions would show you. But his actions are that he's active on three DATING sites (and maybe more). And look at you, you're trying to figure out just what he's doing on them, trying to see if it's innocent...
You have to back off him. Let him miss you. Cool things off fast. Find another person or persons to date and forget about this guy. You stand to get burnt if you let yourself get more involved with him. He's not at the same stage you're at, so you have to get off that stage.
I'm assuming that you guys have an agreement that you're to be exclusive? So, did you have a hunch that something was up and that's why you're watching his online activities? I'm just saying that if you did have that gut feeling that he's sneaking around, then honor that feeling. | |
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| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/6/2007 6:22:49 PM | If you are SO secure in this relationship and certain that you love him, why in the hell are you checking up on him? You are sounding pretty insecure about any sort of relationship at this point in time.
You need to explore what YOU want first before you put the clamps on the man in your life. Re-evaluate exactly where you are at in the relationship and perhaps take a moment to sit down and talk with him about his feelings for you. | |
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| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/6/2007 7:08:32 PM | ...and again you are checking up on him. WTF? You are active and he is active....not a good combination...certain relationship failure...bogus sign on or not.
Please do yourself a favor and find someone outside of dating sites and enjoy life. | |
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| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/6/2007 7:10:15 PM | I have done the online dating off and on for 6 years now...yep...hate to admit it. If I meet someone that I like and we start "seeing each other" all my online profiles are deleted. I can't imagine dating someone 6 months and he has active profiles on 3 sites. Ever thought about writing up a hot little profile without a photo or fake picture and write him and see what he says. I bet you that might bring you into reality.
Run!!!! | |
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| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/6/2007 7:11:25 PM | | Look. I'm not exactly sure what u expect me to do in the situation I am in. The reason I'm checking up on him is a protective mechanism for myself. I was over at his place last weekend. He was checking his email in front of me and he had a couple of emails from a couple of different dating sites saying that they had more "matches" for him. Naturally, I was curious as to what the hell was going on. Would u recommend that I had just forgotten about this and hoped that everything was just rosy? | |
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| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/6/2007 7:14:31 PM | mandoline,
Have you EVER considered actually asking him about his activity or are you content with shadowing his actions. S**t or get off the pot already. Cheese Louise!!!!!!!! | |
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| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/6/2007 7:15:22 PM | | First off, yes there is such a beast as addiction to dating sights and just like all addictions a person can and will lose control. I'm not saying that's what your boyfriend of 6 months has just that there is such a thing. You haven't told him how you feel so is he suppose to assume? Have you 2 made a commitment to each other? If so then his being posted on any dating site is totally inappropriate in my opinion and as you know there's this famous saying about opinions. Tell him how you feel about him and there is nothing wrong with you asking him why he's still on dating sites committed or not. My guess is you may not get the answer you want but his body language and response to your question combined with your gut feeling should provide you with the answer need and probably more. Good luck...RonG | |
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| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/6/2007 7:15:51 PM | If that is true why is your marital status not "Not single / Not looking"
Instead, it is "Prefer not to say".
Please, you are looking to cheat on him and he is probably looking to cheat on you. This is quid quo pro. Don't complain. | |
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BayOne
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Joined: 2/15/2007
Msg: 13 | |
| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/6/2007 7:30:09 PM | OMG....You do NOT need to actually ask people what they think about this. No man is serious about you if he is still active on dating sites. You already KNOW the answer to this and are just hoping that someone will give you a straw to grasp. Cut your losses and bail...I would tell him WHY you are bailing too...of course, based on your present behavior you will believe his "they are just friends and I can't just dump them" bs that he will probably throw at you.
HEY! Do NOT waste the pretty. Suck it up, find your pride and self esteem and find a guy who will appreciate you and treat you like you deserve to be treated. Come on. Get busy! It's gonna bite at first....but when you DO meet your Mr. Right...you will be so glad you did it.
Bay | |
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| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/6/2007 7:32:13 PM | When will woman become realists instead of dreamers .
We do have a choice to use our heads too u know.
Uh, i think he is into other women. Still looking and probably having fun doing it.
Why would someone wonder whats going on when its not even vague.]
I dont get that.
Why not just talk to him. Either like it or walk!!!!!!!!! | |
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| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/6/2007 8:00:21 PM |
Yes... I do know I'm active. This is a bogus profile b/c I wanted to see if he was active on here! AND HE IS!!!!!
Yes because deceitfulness is always a good idea, isn't it? Not really....that was sarchasm. If you are to the point that you are sneaking around trying to see what he's doing, it may be too late. And if he finds out that's what you're doing, it is too late. | |
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| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/6/2007 11:38:49 PM | Well I'm to assume you folks are exclusive, if that is so and you're creating a bogus profile to catch him??
I don't mean to sound rude but? did the common sense part of your brain burn out? you have trust issues among other things, he has issues
Guess what two wrongs don't make one right? you're being deceitful and hes not committed to you, I don't know what his reason are, and since you two are not communicating the only future i see for you guys is the road of separation and despair
Some advice, Never make someone a priority who makes you a option , you're his option not his priority, relegate this guy to the past tense, go to therapy and work on your self esteem issues and trust issues kiddo. | |
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Heide
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Joined: 3/23/2007
Msg: 19 | |
| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/7/2007 5:19:41 PM | I am sorry to say, that although you have fallen in love with this guy, he is clearly not tied down to you as your "boyfriend". For whatever reason he is not willing to attach himself solely to you.
Has the conversation about exclusivity come up? Or are you going based on how you feel about him, and how you think he feels about you?
You need to talk to him. He clearly is not where you are in this.
I have talked to some people who say that they want to stay online until their paid membership runs out, but the question is why? If you pay for a dating site, to meet someone, and you have met someone, you've gotten what you paid for, you don't need to keep an account open "just in case" something better comes along.
Have "the talk" with him, or cut him loose. | |
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| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/8/2007 8:50:39 PM | I've been through this, a girlfriend saw my ex on a site, we met on one, agreed to delete our profiles, he moved in with me etc.
Turned out he had over 100 other girls online, had PC access at work. This started 4 days after we met. I didn't think I would ever want to meet anyone from online again. Its a shock to the system alright but honestly girl, dump his a***, he doesn't deserve you XXX | |
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SaucyM
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Joined: 1/10/2007
Msg: 21 | |
| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/9/2007 12:18:57 PM | He's still looking for the bigger better deal.... talk to him and if he cant deactivate his account... then you have to do some serious thinking about your future with him..
goodluck..
~Saucy! | |
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| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/9/2007 12:58:30 PM | | While this may be something to be concerned about, it may not be. I have seen many people in the forums that use this site even though they have found someone. They do it simply for making friends and using the forum. Have you concidered this possibility. I would just ask him straight out and to the point, or you could try the manipulative way and flirt with a fake account. Just do something to see what is going on. Dont jump to conclusions like many of these people are telling you! Check it out, or you might lose something good. | |
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| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/9/2007 1:08:25 PM | don't jump to conclusions. i live with my boyfriend and i'm still active on... three dating sites (had to count). I use them to talk to the friends i've made and to, hell, make new ones. my boyfriend knows and is comfortable with it. two of them he has profiles on himself. i tell him about the people i talk to or if creeps hit on me, we laugh about it.
you just have to communicate and everything will be alright. no sneaking around. | |
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Jemue
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Joined: 1/26/2005
Msg: 24 | |
| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/9/2007 1:20:51 PM |
I have not told him this yet though. I sense that he really has feelings for me too
No what is that line from the movie ............. "What we have here is a failure to communicate".
You haven't told him how you feel, and you 'sense' from him, which means guessing.
How about having a chat about it, also if your here, that means your on a dating site after six months of being with him as well. | |
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| My b/f of 6 months is still active on dating sites
Posted: 4/9/2007 2:20:59 PM | | I think you just need to step up your dedication level a little bit and show him that you are better than any other woman he will ever find. That, and get some knee pads. Seriously. Either that, or he just needs to get more friends. | |
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