tdh46
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Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 1 | |
| Break up, then writes a thread about being used for sex. [CLOSED]
Posted: 4/8/2007 3:37:32 PM | I have read several examples of a couple dating for a few weeks, They have a sexual relationship.They break up and the woman writes a thread about being used for sex.
Or a couple goes out on a first date, they hit it off and wind up spending the night together, next day the guy goes away and never calls her again, she also feels used in some way.
I was always under the impression that for their to be a sexual act, There had to be mutual consent. So both parties have to want to have sex for their to be sex.
what's with this perception that it was all the guys fault and that he somehow manipulated the poor helpless girl into having sex, then once done with her, he cast her aside and move on to the next victim.
I always though that women likes sex just as much as us men do? But obviously not, if i am to believe what i read, They Only do it when some callous seducer talks them into it.
So i guess woman just have sex as a duty or as a means of reproduction because obviously they get no enjoyment out of it at all. It's just another tool to get guys to like them. | |
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| goddamn Seducer, Lets cut his nuts off.
Posted: 4/8/2007 4:13:24 PM | | it takes two to tango. i know a lot of women feel used, but it's either because they didn't get their expectations laid out ahead of time (to give the guy a chance to rethink his course of action) or because she doesn't want to take responsibility for her own choices. | |
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tdh46
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Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 3 | |
| goddamn Seducer, Lets cut his nuts off.
Posted: 4/8/2007 4:23:57 PM | | But why blame it all on the man? Is gives us the impression that women are easily manipulated, and as any man will tell you, nothing could be further from the truth. A woman does nothing she does not want to do....Ever | |
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| goddamn Seducer, Lets cut his nuts off.
Posted: 4/8/2007 4:24:45 PM | Im in agreement with you. Im probably going to get hate mail for this - BUT - its a two-way street - why should the guy get balled out when SHE decided to have sex.
If she wants a lasting relationship, whats the hell is she doing having sex on a first date anyway. Guys arnt going to respect that - thats just physical 'entertainment' with no strings attached.
My Mum always said - a man chases a women until she catches HIM.
So - for all you lonely ladies out there - looking for something REAL - keep your knickers on - if the guy is only after Sex - he'll soon vanish..
All hate mail will be greatly received and read with amusement. | |
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| goddamn Seducer, Lets cut his nuts off.
Posted: 4/8/2007 4:39:00 PM | Well in those instances I think the women are saying they expected the relationship to be more than about sex. That they were mislead to believe that it was something more serious.
You'd have an argument if you could prove that these women only wanted sex from the guys and nothing else. But I know some women who do want that and I have never seen them complain about being mistreated this way.
So it really gets down to an issue of honesty. Men and women both need to be open and upfrount on what they want out of any relationship rather than miscommunicating and misleading each other. | |
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tdh46
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Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 6 | |
| goddamn Seducer, Lets cut his nuts off.
Posted: 4/8/2007 4:46:07 PM | singlemale1962, how can you expect anything from a one night stand but sex, sure it can develope into something more, but really it's usually just about sex.
Women get really angry when they are treated like the weaker sex( and rightfully so) yet in this instance some women tend to relish it....Look at how he took advantage of me. | |
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| goddamn Seducer, Lets cut his nuts off.
Posted: 4/8/2007 4:48:58 PM | | I think insecure ladies have sex on the first date or meeting hoping that the guy will see them again.I do agree they shouldn't whine..or post something nasty because the guy doesn't want to see them again..It goes both ways.If you let someone use you,you have only yourself to blame.I also agree that if you just met this person and you are having sex right away,it should be looked at ..as just one night of sex..and No strings attached. | |
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| goddamn Seducer, Lets cut his nuts off.
Posted: 4/8/2007 5:03:32 PM | So do you go into a date with a woman and tell her straight up that its going to be a one night stand ?
Or are you assuming that these women knew this would be such a thing ?
Again if the woman wanted just a one night stand then I can see it would be wrong for them to whine about it. But from experience most women who are into one night stands do not. | |
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| goddamn Seducer, Lets cut his nuts off.
Posted: 4/8/2007 5:15:25 PM | I fully agree with you Singlemale1962. You are right for the most part. If they consented to sex on the first date or subsequent date, there had to be some sort of talk about what it meant.... wither they were both looking for a Booty Call or they talked about dating more ...
But who knows, the important thing is honesty and openness about what it means. | |
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| goddamn Seducer, Lets cut his nuts off.
Posted: 4/8/2007 5:15:43 PM | | Singlemale has a point. There are many men who will let the woman think they are totally the woman they are looking for and this is the start of something wonderful and they have sex and then the guy disappears. It does take two to tango, but it all has to do with the communication and what is going on between the two people. I doubt the women that are complaining felt that it was only going to be a one-night stand, hence their complaining. Still, if you allow yourself to be led on, you have to take some responsibility for it. | |
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| goddamn Seducer, Lets cut his nuts off.
Posted: 4/8/2007 5:18:06 PM | | I agree, 2 to tango. Anyone I've slept with I did of my own free will... maybe it was stupid, maybe not? Either way I don't blame the guy. It's up to me to suss out if someone's a player, and if a woman's not able to figure that out, then they shouldn't cross that line with the guy now should they? Just my 2 cents. | |
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| goddamn Seducer, Lets cut his nuts off.
Posted: 4/8/2007 5:19:51 PM | | you cant be seduced unless you want to be. if you jump into bed with someone first date or really early on without knowing them much or knowing if they even want to be in a long term relationship with you or anyone then its your own fault . dont you think you should of talked to them first .women are adults with working brains and a free will. if these two people had sex then its because they both wanted too. | |
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| goddamn Seducer, Lets cut his nuts off.
Posted: 4/8/2007 5:58:47 PM | | Woman get just as much out of sex in fact more times than the guy does in one session so who's crying ??It's all just a question of who's really getting something out of it. many woman here do the exact same thing. | |
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tdh46
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Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 14 | |
| goddamn Seducer, Lets cut his nuts off.
Posted: 4/8/2007 6:08:10 PM | | all i know it that women are alot smarter than us men, so it stands to reason if their is any manipulation going on it would be by the smarter sex. When it comes to manipulation no one does it better that a woman( And i mean that as a compliment). | |
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| goddamn Seducer, Lets cut his nuts off.
Posted: 4/8/2007 6:13:19 PM | Have tendency to agree with the posters that it does take two to tango...unfortunately, it is so easy for the female portion to 'cry wolf' and blame the man either out of guilt or inadequacy...not on the counterpart side, but of their own. Society is to blame for that precedence of stigma. Poor little, naive female being taken advantage of by the predominant male. Hogwash!
It does indeed take two to tango and for the most part, the female initiates the action.
And on your behalf tdh46, mature women do enjoy sex as much as their male counterparts....mature women usually stay sober enough to actually enjoy it.  | |
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| goddamn Seducer, Lets cut his nuts off.
Posted: 4/8/2007 7:12:52 PM | First let me say my beliefs on this whole first night sex thing. I think that no one should think anything lasting is going to happen after jumping into bed the first night. (It does happen, but we shouldn't expect it).
That said, I have this to say to women: You did it honey, and if you thought by having sex with him on the first night you were gonna meet his mommy, you are fooling yourself. It is what it is....sex. You could have said no, and if he left and never contacted you again after you said no, well then you just weeded one out.
And this to the men: If you know beforehand that you don't respect women who sleep with you on the first date.....don't put the moves on.
Why is this so difficult? | |
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| goddamn Seducer, Lets cut his nuts off.
Posted: 4/8/2007 7:31:51 PM | I agree with most people here, that both people made the choice. Those who whine that they were led to believe there would be someone more - GROW UP - do not expect just because you had sex there will be more dates. Start taking responsibility for your actions. If a person is that naive to think that there aren't people out there that will say anything to get laid, then you should probably stay away from dating.
As was already said, if you don't want a one night stand, then keep your pants on until you are in a steady relationship. Otherwise quit whining and act like an adult. | |
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tdh46
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Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 19 | |
| goddamn Seducer, Lets cut his nuts off.
Posted: 4/8/2007 7:36:57 PM | What i really find interesting it this fallacy that only guys are seducers. You you know how sillly a guy would look if he went around whining about some woman taking advantage of him? Of course that's why we don't hear about that happening enough | |
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| goddamn Seducer, Lets cut his nuts off.
Posted: 4/8/2007 7:41:31 PM | | Well that's a good point too. However, I think that most women that are bold enough to be the go-getter on the first night are also the same ones who have been to that rodeo before, and they probably are not the ones whining about it not leading down the aisle. Unless they were after his money and thought he wanted to buy a tramp...and were disappointed when he bailed....who knows. If we could truly figure out why people behave the way they do we'd all be billionaires and have no time for POF as we'd be lounging on our houseboats off the coast of Greece. | |
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| goddamn Seducer, Lets cut his nuts off.
Posted: 4/8/2007 7:45:33 PM | tdh46 - That is exactly why I kept the gender out of my post. I HAVE heard guys who have whined about having sex on the first date and then they woman disappeared.
Everyone should take responsibility for their actions and start acting like adults. You made the choice, now live with it. | |
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| goddamn Seducer, Lets cut his nuts off.
Posted: 4/8/2007 7:52:42 PM | why should the guy get balled out when SHE decided to have sex.
the guy should get balled out when he has misrepresented himself to her and gotten her to have sex with him by LYING thru his eye teeth to her.
that's why. so there. 
squiffy: EXACTLY.
this is not rocket science, y'all -- and guys who lie to girls in order to get them into bed is as old a story as Genesis. been there done that.
get over it guys -- when is it time for you to admit that there are some bad apples among you?
us gals are quite ready to admit that there are some bad apples in our camp. | |
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| goddamn Seducer, Lets cut his nuts off.
Posted: 4/8/2007 7:58:07 PM | | I don't care what she was told....she should have waited until she trusted his word enough by letting him prove himself with actions, over time. The woman can always say no. She would have found out he was a liar with or without having sex with him. I still say no whiners. | |
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| goddamn Seducer, Lets cut his nuts off.
Posted: 4/8/2007 8:00:52 PM | ^^^ oh i see, so the fact that the guy has bald face lied to her, it's STILL her fault, eh?
she has been honest, she has been a person willing to be reasonable, willing to trust someone, willing to take a risk for love -- all the things we HOPE people will be as we ourselves are out there trying to find love... bull!
but no, yea sure, it must be her fault that the guy was a lying full of shit cad. sure!  | |
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