| Limited experience, apparently a bad thing?
Posted: 4/9/2007 12:50:04 PM | | Honesty at its best coming out here...lol. I am 24 going on 25 and I have only had "sexual relations" 2 times, and to be completely frank with you I was drunk both times right before a trip to Iraq or it would have probably never happened then either! I always felt that there should be more to than a quick thrill. This poses a serious problem in todays society, because apparently women dont want to have to deal with the learning process. Why is this? Perhaps this is something I should just keep to myself, maybe then I wouldn't get shot down so much, but the fact is that I'm just not ashamed of it. I think its called "making love" for a reason. I want to really know there is something there before I go the extra step...it causes too much complication for a young relationship from what I have seen. Dont get me wrong I'm not saying that I have to have plans together for marriage just that I chose not to go that route in a casual dating situation. Why can't women seem to deal with this? What should I do to improve my chances? | |
|
| Limited experience, apparently a bad thing?
Posted: 4/9/2007 1:12:28 PM | | Just don't tell your partners, really there is no need to do this and let them be your guinea pig per say. They will be pretty impressed that you are so experimental that they will come calling back. Just remember lots and lots of foreplay is the best and prepare yourself before the actual event, this will prolong you. Always remember you don't get to finish until she is finished so if you feel the need back off and do something else. Also porn is fake so don't go by that, just do what feels good. | |
|
| Limited experience, apparently a bad thing?
Posted: 4/9/2007 1:21:18 PM | | LOL...yeah I dont think Im going to try to go the porn route :). LOL ... and I know that I am not exactly going to come out like a stallion the first few times. Its just the fact of worrying that when I get to that point in the relationship where I would be diong those things, its going to look kinda bad when I dont exactly set off some fireworks! LOL. Thank you | |
|
| Limited experience, apparently a bad thing?
Posted: 4/9/2007 3:43:44 PM | Deal with it -a learning process - fireworks - the porn route- LMAO!!!
dont tell your partners - this for real - this is shit -
Listen - your not full of experience - big deal man -
Sex like anything else comes so naturally when you are
with someone you want to be with and when you are feeling it-
experience - are you kidding me - listen - when you are
with her - trust me - you will know how you want to touch her-
experience does not equal great lovers - trust me on this-
dont worry about it - find someone you really want to be
with - see what happens - You will be thanking me- | |
|
| Limited experience, apparently a bad thing?
Posted: 4/9/2007 9:56:41 PM | I wouldn't keep this to yourself. In fact, at 24, I would be pretty proud of it to be honest. (Despite the two times were due to alcohol!) :)
The fact is that if you truly believe that sex is something sacred, and isn't there for the thrill, then the kind of woman that you are looking for will be happy with the fact you are inexperienced. If girls are disinterested in you because of your lack of experience, then you can generally assume they are a little on the slutty side themselves, can you not? And is that what you want?
No worries man. You're 24, and have several prime dating years ahead of you. Just go with the flow until you find the right girl. | |
|
| Limited experience, apparently a bad thing?
Posted: 4/9/2007 10:07:57 PM | I think you are just scared and are using your inexperience as a crutch. There isn't really a learning process per say for sex. No other animal has to read a book about sex to learn about it.
I think right now you should just work on finding someone to enjoy it with and not really worry about performance. When you can do that, then you should look at the kama sutra. | |
|
| Limited experience, apparently a bad thing?
Posted: 4/9/2007 10:46:20 PM | I think that alot of women would find this attitude very appealing. There are women out there with no more experience than you. Perhaps you will find someone who feels the same way about casual sex and you can eventually explore and learn together. In the meantime, I don't think that you should be ashamed of your sexual experience, but it may not be a topic you'll want to voice in the early stages of dating. | |
|
| |
| Limited experience, apparently a bad thing?
Posted: 4/10/2007 12:39:46 AM | | i think your attitude is great and meeting a man with an attitude like yours would be wonderful. i stupidly gave in to the pressures to have sex in my early 20s and have regretted it ever since. it was pressure from a boyfriend , friends and society in general . basically if you dont have sex with every one you are weird or so i was harassed into believing at the time. i now know that's a bunch of bull. i have not had sex since then and i wont again until i am married or at least engaged. if a guy cant accept this that's not my problem . he can go find someone else. | |
|
| Limited experience, apparently a bad thing?
Posted: 4/10/2007 12:58:58 AM | Coming from my point of view, having limited experience can make it more fun. When you find the one, and if she has a little bit more experience the communication may be more open and then she will be able to tell you her likes and dislikes. Making love is an experience that both can enjoy by communicating what you both want.
If a woman can't handle your situation, maybe she isn't secure in herself sexually and doesn't know how to communicate what she wants. A secure woman in sexuality will be able to make sex a fun and enjoyable experience for both of you without making it feel like it is a learning experience.
I wish you luck on your journay and enjoy the experiences
Teddy | |
|
| Limited experience, apparently a bad thing?
Posted: 4/10/2007 12:37:27 PM | Everyone started without sexual experience. It is nothing to be ashamed of.
Some women may turn up their noses. So what? That happens to all of us.
The important thing is to enjoy being yourself, and also to enjoy the person you are with.
Your experience will accumulate with time. Then you will understand that the pressure you are feeling now, is merely the anxiety of youth.
Later, you will get to experience the anxiety, born of age. | |
|
| Limited experience, apparently a bad thing?
Posted: 4/11/2007 4:27:20 PM | If you're in a relationship without trust, respect, and communication there will be a problem.
Getting shot down for a lack of experience? EXIT....! | |
|
| Limited experience, apparently a bad thing?
Posted: 4/11/2007 8:03:13 PM | Because women can get it the moment they develop, most of them are well experienced by late teens/ early 20's, usually to a few limited studly guys who go through dozens of women,
it's unfair, I know, as many guys are unable to find dates at this age as all the women flock to the studly dudes,
so I say stuff it, after all, times are different now for the average joe. Not fair I know, but reality.
Finally, experience for a woman is choice, for men it is luck. | |
|
| Limited experience, apparently a bad thing?
Posted: 4/11/2007 9:08:44 PM | | if the women aren't willing to accept it, move on. personally i have never considered it an issue - my ex-husband was totally inexperienced at 25 (i was his first girlfriend). no big deal. i did my best to teach him what he needed to know. i think you've got the right attitude about it and a lot of women ought to have a lot of respect for you because of it. | |
|
~iiCe~
|
Joined: 7/26/2005
Msg: 15 | |
| Limited experience, apparently a bad thing?
Posted: 4/11/2007 9:34:16 PM | | sex is overrated.... better to wait until you know what and who you want than to have random empty experiences.... limited experience in this day and age isn't a bad thing... trust that when the time is right... you will get what you need.... | |
|
| Limited experience, apparently a bad thing?
Posted: 4/11/2007 9:43:01 PM | You are a prince! and believe me, there is a special woman out there for you. So don't sweat it . Hey, since you can still pass the blood donar questionnaire , please give....and be proud of it.
 | |
|
| Limited experience, apparently a bad thing?
Posted: 4/11/2007 9:51:36 PM | | The sexual experience is different with everyone you have sex with. What worked for one will not work for the next, so everyone has a clean slate and you have to learn with each one. Don't worry. The right woman will cherish you and be relieved that she dosen't have to worry about STD's. | |
|
| Limited experience, apparently a bad thing?
Posted: 4/11/2007 11:19:25 PM |
The sexual experience is different with everyone you have sex with. What worked for one will not work for the next, so everyone has a clean slate and you have to learn with each one. Don't worry. The right woman will cherish you and be relieved that she dosen't have to worry about STD's.
I agree with this to a point, but there are somethings that are universal. Things like proper technique, where the g-spot is, ect... Yes everyone is different, but not to the point that would confuse picaso.
You should stop focusing on experience and stary focusing on having fun, relaxing, and taking risks(safe risks  ). You have to start acknowleging yourself as a sexual being. I am not saying turn into a player or man-whore, just acknowlege that you have a penis what it is used for.
I used to work with a guy that was a 50 year old virgin. He didn't say it to us but we could tell. He was a terrible person. Nice guy on the outside but totally gutless on the inside. I hated him so much. I learned what can happen to guys that don't have sex. It's not a pretty picture. Did I mention I hated him? | |
|
| Limited experience, apparently a bad thing?
Posted: 4/12/2007 7:04:36 AM | Ok...thank you all...its good to know that not everyone sees it as pathetic lol. It's just a personal choice that I made. I'm not into the players aspect of things and want to avoid getting labelled as that, because frankly a player isn't going to get the good girl with good intensions usually and thats what I am looking for. I dont expect them to be virgins considering putting in an application to be a nun but still lol, dont want someone who is too "open" (at least with their legs  ). | |
|
| Limited experience, apparently a bad thing?
Posted: 4/12/2007 7:06:51 AM | | I, for one, am glad you're not ashamed of how you feel or what you want. That shows a strength of character. There's nothing wrong with being who you are and forming values and beliefs on what you know is right for you -- not what everybody else wants to tell you is "right" or "the thing to do". A lot of us "older" people have experienced the difference between doing what the majority of your peers tell you to do in order to be happy (get drunk, try this, wear that, only drive expensive cars, yada yada), and what really makes us happy as individuals (going through all our 'junk' and throwing out what doesn't work and what isn't right for us). The women you've met who don't want to deal with the learning process aren't the type of women you want to get to know or spend time with anyway; they don't want the same things you want, so you're obviously incompatible anyway. You don't have to tell someone you're interested in that you're sexually inexperienced. Instead, just keep getting to know the person and eventually you'll reach a point where you can discuss things of a personal nature--such as your perspectives regarding a sexual relationship. | |
|
argfin
|
Joined: 7/31/2006
Msg: 21 | |
| Limited experience, apparently a bad thing?
Posted: 4/12/2007 1:16:48 PM | I think it's great to be so honest at 24. Many guys are full of bull at your age.
Sex should be fun, it just seems that it has to be a performance these days... Just try to relax about it. There is a LOT of pressure for people to get to it straight away these days, but I say wait till you're ready.
Just find someone you click with first and enjoy being with them.
If you like each other just enjoy it. You'll have good sessions and bad ones, and some days you won't want it at all.
It's what YOU feel comfortable with that counts, just ignore all the crap! | |
|
| Limited experience, apparently a bad thing?
Posted: 4/19/2007 8:01:46 AM | | Thanks again everyone. Yeah I guess the whole thing is making sure you have the connection first because then they will deal with the faults and be more willing to give me time to learn. | |
|
| Limited experience, apparently a bad thing?
Posted: 4/19/2007 10:33:58 AM | I really believe when you find someone you want to make love to, it won't matter so much to her that you're inexperienced. Read what you can about sex and sexuality and lovemaking, and, when the time comes, you should be okay. Pay attention to her needs/desires and do the best you can.
There IS a big drive for experienced lovers these days but if we don't want to sleep around, how are we supposed to become experienced???? I wish I knew more; I wish I was a better lover; I wish I could be more creative and open, I wish I could feel more confident in my abilities in the bedroom, but, to do that, I'll need more experience, and I just can't sleep with every other man to gain that experience. It's not "me". Besides, can't we make "instruction" part of the fun? I'm a great student and a fast learner! | |
|
| Limited experience, apparently a bad thing?
Posted: 4/19/2007 11:23:47 AM | | I'd love it - I'd rather teach than have to deal with a guy who's already set in his ways about it and has to get reaquainted with a new person...you can mold 'em better when they have less experience. It might be rare to find women who think the learning curve is an advantage (not to mention a lot of fun), but we're out there. | |
|
| |
Home
login 
