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Show ALL Forums  > Newfoundland  > Would you be able to live next door to your "ex" ???      Home login  
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 cindy68
Joined: 12/16/2006
Msg: 1
Would you be able to live next door to your "ex" ???Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I am curious to know how many would be able to live next door to their "EX" ? My "ex" and I had broken up on December 10th, 2006! I myself have just moved on the first week of March and he to had moved....right next door to me! To be honest...It doesn't bother me at all! He has a new girlfriend ( which he had several months before our break up ) but seriously...I don't even know that he is there! I see him off and on...sometimes it might be over a week before I actually see him, but.....to me he does not exist, and it's because of what he had put me through....So for all of you that got an "EX"....be honest and share with me and the others....."How you would feel if your "ex" lived next door to you ! I am curious to know.......Thank you

C68
 fallenangel!
Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 2
Would you be able to live next door to your ex ???
Posted: 4/12/2007 3:40:08 AM
I could live next door to my ex husband ,actually most of my ex's.Not the last one though we were together for 13 years.It ended Feb 2006.The things he put me through and did to me seeing,him on a regular basic would still hurt to much.
Maybe in time i could not yet.Still to much hurt on my side.No i dont want him back just not ready to make nice yet.
 cindy68
Joined: 12/16/2006
Msg: 3
Would you be able to live next door to your ex ???
Posted: 4/12/2007 3:50:43 AM
I guess to depending on the situation of the "break up"......"if there are still feelings there for an "ex"......and so on ! Because of what he did to me has me where I am to today! Its only been four months since our break up, but in all honesty...he means nothing to me! To boot...we are also not on speaking terms, I prefer not to even talk to him because of his wrong doings to me.....It bothers him more that I live next to him than me to he........It's kinda funny actually...and pathetic as he is a grown man but has acted very childish! Oh well....I ain't moving so if he doesn't like living nest to me I guess it's up to him
 MEGA_CHULO2007
Joined: 11/15/2006
Msg: 4
Would you be able to live next door to your ex ???
Posted: 4/12/2007 4:43:14 AM
Yeah, it's possible but I really think it depends on WHICH ex we're talking about here. But I still think there wouldn't be a problem as long as I'm with someone special so she wouldn't rub in the fact that she has someone and don't.....that would be the worst!!!
 CityWomansk
Joined: 4/8/2007
Msg: 5
Would you be able to live next door to your ex ???
Posted: 4/12/2007 6:09:58 AM
No Way could I live next door, not even down the street. I would feel as if I was being constantly watched.

~KissMeDeadly~
 cindy68
Joined: 12/16/2006
Msg: 6
Would you be able to live next door to your ex ???
Posted: 4/12/2007 6:32:24 AM
I can see your point MEGA CHULO2007 about rubbing it in that she is with someone and you are not but.....right now I choose not to be involved with anyone as I've been there and done that, now it's just ME time Kiss Me Deadly....I can see what you mean to but that also do not bother me.....It has alot to do with the reason that he/she became an "ex"....Plus, my "ex"... is with someone which he was cheating on me with so Mmmmmmm....what kind of relationship do he have......A VERY DISHONEST ONE! He has guilt because of what he done to me.....I have nothing to be guilty about so I say good luck to anyone ( male or female) who is dishonest and unfaithful .....The truth will set you free and guilt will eat you alive !!!!!!
C68
 fallenangel!
Joined: 12/7/2006
Msg: 7
Would you be able to live next door to your ex ???
Posted: 4/12/2007 7:54:24 AM

The truth will set you free and the guilt will eat you alive!!!


I love it cindy and sooooo true.
 cindy68
Joined: 12/16/2006
Msg: 8
Would you be able to live next door to your ex ???
Posted: 4/13/2007 2:58:38 AM
Me to Peiprincess101.......That's why I can live next door to my "ex" because I have been nothing but "HONEST" where as he has done nothing but "LIED".....and because of being honest, I have nothing to be guilty about BUT well bit by bit, my "ex" will dissappear, he will still be seen but will be nothing on the inside .....because of his GUILT...he will be eaten alive ! But again it does depend on ones "circumstances" of becoming an "EX"......
C68
 cindy68
Joined: 12/16/2006
Msg: 9
Would you be able to live next door to your ex ???
Posted: 4/21/2007 8:08:23 AM
Well......I am back again to comment about the living next door to the "EX"......The last I heard , he is going to move so Ummmmmmmmm ...... I guess the guilt is really eating him up and he feels he got to move LMFAO.........
 -mara-
Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 10
Would you be able to live next door to your ex ???
Posted: 4/21/2007 10:52:33 AM
I know for a dead certain fact that I could NOT live next door to my X. It's not because of guilt on my part, it's because it would just hurt too much seeing him every day coming home to HER! Nope, not, nada, I'm pretty sure that living that close to him would turn me into a raving lunatic stalker and possibly even make me into one who could do harm. LOL, I'm doing just fine on my own but the daily reminder would be too much for my ego to bear.
 cindy68
Joined: 12/16/2006
Msg: 11
Would you be able to live next door to your ex ???
Posted: 4/21/2007 12:29:15 PM
Hi Lady mara....I hear you but again I guess it depends on why the "other" person became the "EX" in order to be able to or not live next door. To be honest, when we first broke up I thought I was going to hurt like He!! but I guess because of what he has done to me... It doesn't !!! I am a much happier person with out him...so it doesn't matter to me where he lives whether it's next door or in the same building !
 -mara-
Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 12
Would you be able to live next door to your ex ???
Posted: 4/21/2007 5:25:57 PM
Lucky you, cindy! I envy you that very healthy attitude, and hope to emulate it one day myself. I was just so shattered when my husband left me for another woman, it broke my heart and my spirit. My self-esteem went right to the basement and my self-assurance went even further down. I took it all so personally and felt like the world's biggest failure.

I was so wrong, but it's been a few years now, and I'm growing in a lot of ways. I'm so much stronger than I ever thought I was, but I'm sure I'd still cave in and want to do something terrible to him. The fact that he still loves me and wants to make the past just go away doesn't change anything for me. I'll never give in to him, I know I'd never trust him, and on a certain level it's impossible for me to ever 'love' him again.

So, for me, living next door would be a disaster of epic proportions. It must never happen, LOL, the Earth would not survive the catastrophy.
 cindy68
Joined: 12/16/2006
Msg: 13
Would you be able to live next door to your ex ???
Posted: 4/22/2007 3:53:27 AM
Again thank you Lady Mara.....But I have come to learn that what doesn't break us, will DEFINITELY make us a much more stronger person! There was a time when He!! no...I would never be able to live next door to an "EX" but after being there and done it ((and had it done to me))...this is where I am today! I firmly believe that once a cheater...ALWAYS a cheater and I know people can change but for some reason when they get a taste of "fooling around" ...it's alot easier the next time for them! Again it has alot to do why the "other" has become the "ex" in order to be able to live next door....I've nothing to be guilty about...he is the guilty one ...But of course he says he "DIDN'T cheat on me ...still for all he is with the woman he did "cheat" on me with ....with plans on moving in with her ( We only been broke up since December 10th/2006)) MMMMMMM Seems 'fishy' to me

C68
 sickoftalking2cat
Joined: 1/13/2006
Msg: 14
Would you be able to live next door to your ex ???
Posted: 5/5/2007 8:26:27 PM
well,..... my xw lives 2 minutes out the road,.....doesnt bother me at all,..... wouldnt matter if she did live next door,..... just more convenient for the little one,...... now the xg would be a different story,..........id have to move
 -mara-
Joined: 7/24/2005
Msg: 15
Would you be able to live next door to your ex ???
Posted: 5/8/2007 7:27:35 AM
Gee whizz Cindy, I'll be glad when I'm as emotionally healthy as you are! I went to a program run by the Church here, called Divorce Care, actually repeated that course several times, and I know it helped me a lot. I was suicidal when I first went, and now I'm really looking forward to what ever life has in store for me now. But there are still times when I crack, I just disolve in tears!

I think the hurt of it has me still so angry, I'm simmering just under the surface most of the time. I do a lot of work to try to get better and most of all I want to relaese that anger and truely be happy again. So I volunteer a lot, I walk a lot, I read and I write a lot. Little by little I'm letting it go, but it sure is a long and hard road.
 cindy68
Joined: 12/16/2006
Msg: 16
Would you be able to live next door to your ex ???
Posted: 5/8/2007 7:41:11 AM
Thank you very much Lady mara.....sometimes we are stronger than what we are aware of! Then there are other situations that we have a hard time dealing with! All balled up in one little word...""LIFE"".....
As for my "EX"...I open my door to go out and I see the door to his apartment! But in all honesty I don't even know he is there! Doing things...talking..being in this site ((especially he forums ...etc helps alot when someone has something on their mind that bothers them! Dwelling on it...keeping it inside and not talking or dealing with it only hurts an individual more... I to have been on a very bumpy road and there are times now when those bumps are still there...but concerning my "EX"....not an issue! I guess it is because I have been there before...and depending on what ones relationship is like...and when a person knows that their "EX" is the biggest LIAR there is ((well along with others to LOL)) that helps to get you through some of those bumps! As I have said in the forums before...
"The truth shall set one free...Lies will only eat them up".....I have been very honest about situations in my past relationship with him and well he has told so many lies.....now there are people who have witnessed his lying so he is only showing his true colors....The "LOSER" that he is who doesn't deserve much......
But we are all different...we have to do and deal differently!!!! Good luck to you Lady Mara....you have come a long way and you will go further.....

C68
 Nan60
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 17
Would you be able to live next door to your ex ???
Posted: 5/8/2007 6:26:16 PM
We ALL haves exs in this life. For my children's sake 'd like the xh to be in the province! (at the least) but as for next door, I don't know, he's a gossipy old fart BUT I can (and have) ignored alot for the sake of the children's health and welfare. Depends on the x I guess. Now the xb...well THAT would be ... unwise lol
 dustie13
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 18
Would you be able to live next door to your ex ???
Posted: 5/14/2007 4:07:19 PM
I think it would depend on which X it was. Some I know it wouldn't bother me in the least. Others, I would move before they got their claws out.
 OHM
Joined: 11/27/2006
Msg: 19
Would you be able to live next door to your ex ???
Posted: 5/16/2007 5:11:44 AM
Once again that would depend on the distance stipulated in the restraining order.

I might not be able to move next door but I could probably move like 3 houses away.

I'll have to check.
 Guy1000
Joined: 4/5/2007
Msg: 20
Would you be able to live next door to your ex ???
Posted: 5/24/2007 10:53:07 AM
It would depend really... if the ex is an understanding person and you can get along then yes. But if theyre someone who doesnt deal very well with ending a relationship and holds a grudge over it then no.
 cindy68
Joined: 12/16/2006
Msg: 21
Would you be able to live next door to your ex ???
Posted: 5/24/2007 7:28:44 PM
I so agree....there is alot that ios involved in whether or not one can live next door to their "EX"! But in my situation......It all got to do with......I have nothing to hide verses he does! I have been very truthful and faithful...../.....he has done nothing but lied and been very unfaithful! As for living right next door...I don't even know he is there.....So yes it would have a lot to do with the circumstances of ones "ex"......

C68
 cindy68
Joined: 12/16/2006
Msg: 22
Would you be able to live next door to your ex ???
Posted: 7/4/2007 4:25:46 AM
Been awhile since I have posted in this thread....Living next door to my "ex"...Well one day at a time and one doesn't know what's going to happen from one day to the next ! I am living proof of that
Here it is, going on seven months since becoming single and hey....myself and my "EX" are actually talking to one another....becoming friends again....who would have guessed ? Maybe he has finally grown up .....Or maybe he hasn't changed at all...Whatever it is...I have changed a little. I am a much stronger woman because of the break up...I see with my eyes alot more clearer now instead of my heart....and there are things that I will definitely do a lot different in life now when it comes to being in a relationship with someone! But hey...maybe now I will have another friend in my life....my EX....

C68
 citizenoftheworld
Joined: 6/11/2007
Msg: 23
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Would you be able to live next door to your ex ???
Posted: 7/9/2007 10:33:20 AM
I am glad she doesn't.

We haven't seen each other or spoken in years and thats for the best.
 noisy introvert
Joined: 3/4/2007
Msg: 24
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Would you be able to live next door to your ex ???
Posted: 7/10/2007 4:04:57 PM
Good lord NO! He is a manipulative slob, and I was never happier than when he went west, but now he's back in the province, albeit on the west coast and I'm on the east coast, thank heaven! He cheated and lied althroughout our marriage (23 years!) and was abusive as well. It is soooo much better for our kids and myself that we do not see or speak to each other. I'd move from my town if I thought he were moving here, I know my life would be unbearable. I'm a happy and content person cause he's not around anymore. Meanwhile, I do envy anyone who can have a healthy relationship with an ex.
 Willow55
Joined: 3/17/2006
Msg: 25
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Would you be able to live next door to your ex ???
Posted: 8/22/2007 10:11:46 AM
I have 2 ex's. The first one could not move far enough away in the beginning. Over the years we have come to terms with the end of our marriage and moved on to settle into a different relationship of co-parenting. Now he spends time here with our son several days a week. He also does stuff around the property, which is in his best interest as we still own it jointly. We are actually better friends since we divorced than we were when we were married. Do I want him living next door?....not so sure about that... but across town is good.

The second ex is another story. Substance abuse ended that relationship and I cannot be around him at all. To watch him self-destruct is more than I can bare.
I understand the nature of his "illness" or "disease" and that helps me sleep at night, as I know that it is a disease of his mind and it is his choice to wallow in it. He has the capability to rise above it ...just not the desire. Nine years of sobriety is what he tossed away along with our relationship.
I will not enable him and I will not expose myself or my children to it again. He made a conscious choice and so did I. As for him moving next door... I can't see my neighbours taking him in or supporting him and his habit. He is 55 and living off of his mother.
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