| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/12/2007 9:07:45 AM | There's these 2 guys that come into my work everyday- twice a day. (Lets call 'em D and M) One day last week when I was off work D asked one of my employees about me. Like if I was single blah blah cuz M thought I was so gorgeous and nice, blah blah. M was right there and I guess he didn't say much, just smiled.
They've come in everyday since and M doesn't even look at me. I'm like WTF! D chats it up with me and M just stands there staring at the ground. When I say hi to him he doesn't even look up.
Like 3 days ago my employee gives M my number and he seems thrilled. Has he called? No. I've seen him 3 times since and I swear the guy doesn't even acknowledge me. Everyone says he's just shy!
If he is too shy to even look at me or call me, how will he be in a "realtionship"? I'm pretty aggressive and this is kind of a turn off. I kinda want to give him a chance cuz who knows... but I am not going to pursue him when he was the one asking about me!!!
Is he shy or not really all that interested?  | |
|
| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/12/2007 9:14:33 AM | | My vote, is that shy. He has all the hallmarks of someone that really digs you, but is too shy and embarrassed to do anything about it. I say, make the first move. | |
|
| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/12/2007 9:40:47 AM |
If he is too shy to even look at me or call me, how will he be in a "realtionship"?
Most likely open right up.
It may be a little bumpy at first trying to figure out how to act.
With most shy people, they're looking for permission of some sort. They want the ability to predict the future and can act accordingly with the minimal amount of rejection. So, if you can somehow give him this "permission" that you won't turn him away, an invitation, I think he can take the bait from there.
You did however give him your number. That was permission enough. | |
|
| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/12/2007 9:57:04 AM | | You should talk to him, smile, be polite, make a compliment. Dosent have to be anything sexual. I'm kind of shy and I'd definitly make a move if you did that to me, based on your profile : ) | |
|
| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/12/2007 10:00:09 AM | Do not blow this gentleman off because he is shy. He may be very outgoing once he gets to know you. Most shy people have problems with the initial conversation. Just getting it started; maybe you could be the aggressor for a little bit and see what becomes of it.
Best of Luck
 | |
|
| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/12/2007 10:05:34 AM | Okay... so you say you are an aggressive person but you won't dig your heels in and
put the poor guy up against the wall.
Why do women always think it's up to the guy to make the first move.
What you don't seem to understand(in fact most women don't) is women are way
more experienced with dating than guys are unless of course he looks like Brad Pitt
and has women falling over themselves.
If you like the guy why not just say "Hey buddy... are you going to ask me out or
what?" What's the worst that could happen?
I'm personally a very shy guy specially in front of a woman who is as attractive as
you but once I get pass all the stammering there's no stopping me. Maybe he's the
man of your dreams and you sit there waiting for him even though it's apparent
he's having a problem.
Dig in girl... go for it.
Game0n | |
|
| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/12/2007 10:27:52 AM | | Everyone is different. Were you as outgoing and sexually overt as you seem, then I would be shy too. Some guys aren't. Some guys need a blatant hint that you are interested. Maybe he is dense. | |
|
| |
| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/12/2007 10:34:23 AM | Tell the guy - you think he is kinda cute and ask him if he wants to go get a banana split sometime.
That should get him off center. | |
|
| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/12/2007 10:50:02 AM |
They've come in everyday since and M doesn't even look at me. I'm like WTF! D chats it up with me and M just stands there staring at the ground. When I say hi to him he doesn't even look up.
Yeah...that's the way it goes. Sorry...you snooze you loose. D seems to be able to muster up enough of whatever it takes to talk to you. M can't seem to manage. He needs to learn and not be coddled.
Everyone says he's just shy!
Shy, mute, cats-got-his-tongue, not interested...doesn't matter. He needs to step up and get what he wants, not have something handed to him.
Like 3 days ago my employee gives M my number and he seems thrilled.
Just goes to show that even when everything is prime for opportunity and risk is minimal, some people are still to paralyzed to take it. I've been in his shoes. Make him do his half...if the two of you end up together or date, it'll be good for him and you.
but I am not going to pursue him when he was the one asking about me!!!
There ya go. Do what you can to keep the door open, but make him walk through it. | |
|
| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/12/2007 11:26:56 AM | MetalGrrl777;
M is overly shy, and prolly scared to death to look you in the eye ... especially since in his mind, your his dream girl. He's crushin on you big time and doesn't know what to do about it except tell his buddies.
In his eyes your a Goddess ... just being near you makes him go week in the knees and he's afraid to speak to you for fear he'll start stuttering.
He has that phone number memorized and has probably started to dial it 50 time ... but he doesn't follow through with the call, because he doesn't know what to say to you ... and afraid you'll think he's an idiot if he screws up.
=======================
My suggestion;
Let him know your Human, Fallible, Imperfect ... and for God sake, get him away from D cause M will never make a move if he thinks D is gonna rib him about it later.
Next time M is at your place of business (preferably without D) ask M if he can help you take some empty boxes out to your Car ... or maybe you need a hand reaching something on a shelf in the store room.
Dress down, not a lot of makeup and go easy on the perfume ... dog yourself out a little (if you get my meaning) so you don't scare the livin sh!t outta him.
Once you break through that barrier and he relaxes a bit ... you might be surprised how genuinely nice and funny he can be.
Good luck
| |
|
| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/12/2007 12:24:01 PM | | I agree with everyone else. Maybe he hasn't called because you didn't give him your number, your employees did, and he might think that you might not nessicarially know or approve. If I were you I'd say to him something like "My employees gave you my number right? I've been waiting for your call." Generally shy guys are trying hard not to offend (or looking for permission as another poster put it), and if he thinks you'll be offended by his NOT calling, he'll rush to call you. | |
|
| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/12/2007 12:28:23 PM | Either ask him out if you are interested or write it off and move on. Life is too short.
Why does he have to be the first one to make the move? | |
|
| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/12/2007 12:59:40 PM | I'm like WTF! D chats it up with me and M just stands there staring at the ground. When I say hi to him he doesn't even look up. quote
i thought I was shy, that's just dumb. or he really doesn't actually like u at all and somone's playing a joke on u | |
|
| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/12/2007 1:38:18 PM | Thanks guys!! Next time I see him I will definately ask him if he got my number and what's up with him not calling!!
To the last response- believe me, it totally crossed my mind that my employees were playing a joke on me. I was REALLY starting to think that until today when the girl who gave out my number became very passionate about the whole thing when I told her I didn't think he even liked me. She insists he's crazy about me and is just shy.
I left before they came in today so I'll update tomorrow =) | |
|
| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/12/2007 2:29:46 PM |
'm pretty aggressive and this is kind of a turn off. I kinda want to give him a chance cuz who knows... but I am not going to pursue him when he was the one asking about me!!!
Is he shy or not really all that interested?
My first vote would be extremely shy and an agressive woman would be just what he needs!I know a lack of confidence is a turn off,but if you could get him past that,he may surprise you.You might just unlock his inner stud. | |
|
Algy
|
Joined: 11/3/2006
Msg: 17 | |
| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/12/2007 3:10:12 PM |
Thanks guys!! Next time I see him I will definately ask him if he got my number and what's up with him not calling!!
As a person cursed with occasional bouts of shyness - If you're at all interested in him, don't confront the poor b*astard with his weaknesses. Just ask him out. Don't ask in a public manner. Keep it casual and no group dates unless he's already part of the group. | |
|
| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/12/2007 7:13:01 PM | He called me tonight but I couldn't get to the phone. He left a pretty nice message and he seemed kind of outgoing actually. Then again, he was just talking to my voicemail =)
We'll see... | |
|
| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/12/2007 7:53:41 PM | | There are some people who think that ignoring a woman is the best way to gain a woman's attention. (The same strategy can work for women as well, when she ignores a man.) Well, he certainly got your attention, didn't he? Some women, for vanity's sake, can't stand it when they are ignored. Should you bother?--It depends. Do you actually like the guy or do you want his attention just because he hasn't given you his attention previously? Is the dilemma about you or is it about him? | |
|
| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/12/2007 8:22:12 PM | Haha! I can almost completely relate to that guy I used to be shy as hell! (still kinda am ;))Trust me if this guy is anything like most of the girl-shy guys I've met. I'd say he is not only likely worth initiating contact with, he probily would make a great loyal relationship guy. (Once you get him out of his shell.) Ask him on a date, Throw a really deep conversation or two at him make him answer em and he should come out of it. ;) Btw I've noticed alot of those guys have little to no idea about any kind of dating, relationship, or intimate protocol. So you should probably be direct about as much as possible when talking to him. :)
good luck! :) | |
|
| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/12/2007 8:44:06 PM | | Hey dear ....they're losers....that or you're a 10 and they aren't comfortable with anything but a 5.....either way they are ....and if you are hot....you don't need to waste your time with guys that won't even ask you out like a flippin man......sheeesh.....where have all the real men gone........and who are these baby doll boys you chicks ask questions about | |
|
| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/12/2007 8:44:21 PM | I know a bit about shyness and shy people. My brother in law is very shy even.
Shy people tend to have a lot of issues. If you think you can deal with their issues you could end up in a good relationship.
Most of their issues aren't bad. They just kind of lack in confidence in some areas. They don't know how to greet people, they might fear rejections. Sounds like he is interesting with you. Now he has your number and is probably beating himself up for getting it. Not knowing how to best call you.
Often when I call a woman for the first time after chatting with them on Internet, I practice a dozen times saying hello. Each time testing out different ideas, "Howdy, Hello, Evening.." What is best? Its an ongoing struggle for shy people. However once a shy person get to know you they are normally a lot more open.
You can look at one positive aspect to a really shy man... It would be almost impossible for him to ever cheat on you. If he is too shy to approach other women, he is less likely to do so. So he could very well be your pick of a litter if you want a faithful partner.
So what you really should ask yourself is this, "how attracted to this person are you?"
If you think he is good for a shot, why not cut the ice yourself to speed up the process? If you wait it might take him a few more months. And if he suddenly thinks that other guy wants to date you, he might wait even longer for not wanting to make you choose between himself and the other guy.
Shy people often don't deal well with competition either.
Just an idea, you seem seriously interested in this person. Maybe you should take matters into your own hands. Just try not to be too aggressive, shy people might pull away from too much, too soon.
Good luck | |
|
| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/12/2007 10:34:31 PM | | He's shy and intimidated by M's interest in you. Probably feels he can't compete. Go easy with him and it will probably work itself out. | |
|
| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/13/2007 2:05:35 AM | | find out if he's got any similar interests you share,might be easier for hi to open up.other than that simply tell the guy hey, i dig ya and want to go out for a night with ya!and honestly if you don't get any good vibes,forget about him.Even very shy guy would take a shot if a pretty woman asked him out.but don't waste your time if he's not willing for anything. | |
|
| Should I even bother? Attn: Shy guys!
Posted: 4/13/2007 2:35:03 AM | M may have great feelings towards you, but thinks you may have stronger feelings for this other guy, d,
M may ba scared of rejection or just too much of a gentleman to get between you, and the guy he thinks you like better.
either way, if you prefer m to d, tell him this | |
|
Home
login 
