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 jacklondon1536
Joined: 3/13/2007
Msg: 1
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sex before marriage for people over 60, looking for a new partnerPage 1 of 2    (1, 2)
I am in my early seventies and I chat mostly with ladies in their sixties. I have had a high percentage of these ladies express their option that they do not intend to go to home base with a guy untill the wedding bells ring (what I consider to be a high percentage is 4 out of 10). My chances of ever meeting most of these ladies is somewhere between slim and none, so I just agree with them. I made the mistake of stating my opinion about this subject to one lady and was called some names not worth repeating. I would like to hear some opinions from ladies in their sixties on this subject. I take this subject seriously.
 ruckus123
Joined: 6/7/2005
Msg: 2
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sex before marriage for people over 60, looking for a new partner
Posted: 4/15/2007 10:35:23 AM
4 out of 10 are pretty good odds....

60% of them will sleep with you before you marry them.
 lonestardaddy
Joined: 11/18/2006
Msg: 3
sex before marriage for people over 60, looking for a new partner
Posted: 4/15/2007 10:53:32 AM
Jack, I don't envy you, even I'm not too many years behind you for wanting to keep on 'going out w/ a bang' ...and many ladies needing to hear those wedding bells before they might allow you to do so. Makes me realize that no matter what a man's age may be, he still has to 'pay the piper' for what he wants out of life ...and all I can say is that she'd better be a better one than my ex proved to be. Yep, It's a "Catch-22" for your truly knowing that she is 'quite the piper' if she insists on hearing those wedding bells first. Best of luck to you, sir.
 lovableladywanted
Joined: 5/14/2006
Msg: 4
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sex before marriage for people over 60, looking for a new partner
Posted: 4/15/2007 11:55:39 AM
Just because a woman says she will not sleep with you until marriage does not mean that its true . My advice[cant believe I am saying this to a 70 yr old] lmao, is to be cool, sincere and treat your date like the lady she is assuming you like her and good things will happen . Now I am sure the OP can teach me a thing or 2 or 3 lol .
 RussetAutumnRose
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 5
sex before marriage for people over 60, looking for a new partner
Posted: 4/15/2007 12:32:07 PM
I'm over 60, however I'm not one of the legions of widows looking for another husband. I have no desire to marry again. Having said that, I will say that I would never marry any man, in any case, without getting to "home base" with him first. Especially an older man. Otherwise, how would I know he's capable of getting me to "home base"?

Women of my generation were taught to wait until marriage, and some never changed with the times. The women you're speaking of just want a husband, and it's very likely they may not even be interested in getting to "home base", even if they trick you into marrying them.

Some women who've been married for many years, then widowed, don't know how to function without a man. Making you wait until marriage is just a ploy to catch you.
 laughterwithsmiles
Joined: 1/28/2007
Msg: 6
sex before marriage for people over 60, looking for a new partner
Posted: 4/15/2007 12:40:19 PM
(Otherwise, how would I know he's capable of getting me to "home base"? ) I agree with this statement fromRussetAutumnRose... Iam 64 and I am NOT looking to get married...I am a widow and learning QUICKLY how to function in MOST things without a man..But there is ONE AREA I need a man for
 RussetAutumnRose
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 7
sex before marriage for people over 60, looking for a new partner
Posted: 4/15/2007 1:09:10 PM
laughterwithsmiles: I'm totally with you about that ONE AREA.
Besides, it's quite nice having a man around sometimes. But I can enjoy them without marrying them. Obviously, the ones the OP is meeting feels differently.
 gtadaizee
Joined: 10/22/2006
Msg: 8
sex before marriage for people over 60, looking for a new partner
Posted: 4/15/2007 1:20:07 PM
WHAT A WONDERFUL THREAD!!!! I VOTED FOR IT TO STAY.
OP if I tell you what I think, please don't hit on me okay

YOU don't want them kind of gals. This is 2007 and while we still have some morals, sexual inhibitions are a BIG deal. Heck I wouldn't marry him without it and I probably wouldn't marry with it!!!!! I'm going to be 62 in a few mths and I just can't imagine developing love with someone with out sexual activity between us. My question for you to ask those that make such a big deal out of participating prenuptually (you don't want them anyway, okay!!!) Ask them are they reborn virgins?????

I went celibate for about 17 years, I just wanted to get to know me and what I wanted and what I needed and to define my deal breakers. Man it was physically painful at times BUT when I got back out there and was fortunate to find someone to have a good quality relationship with, I used to tell them, be gentle, I'm a reborn virgin!!!!!! God I've had a lot of fun with that line!. My biggest fear was that I had lost 'it' but I proved myself wrong!

Those fuddy duddies want you to pay them with marriage before you get sex? While that is fine for some people, it is still blackmail or is that whoring? Keep looking there are lots of women wanting sex in their relationship (I don't mean with all men, I mean any man they have strong feeling for and good feelings of!). I could not have a relationship without an active sex life AND as I doubt I will marry (but will commit) at this time of my life as I am a one man woman & monogamous!

SO OP keep looking and learn how to discuss "sexuality" with any special ladies. Sometimes when you approach it as sexuality, they find it easier than 'sex'. Good Luck to all of us!

OH and stand up for your feelings, don't let them put you down!!!!! It just depends on how you approach the issue. Why not wait until you've talked to them more or met with them.. Sorry I'm chuckling over that old expression "go to home base". mmmmm sounds like they may go to 3rd base? Us women can be down right stupid sometimes but then that is a human nature subject not gender specific!!!! I would also suggest to you that any woman in her 60's who won't discuss sexuality when it is reasonably presented, may very well have sexual issues and do you want to even consider taking that on and going in blindly at this time in your life when the issue and practise there of is important to you? NO!!!
 jacklondon1536
Joined: 3/13/2007
Msg: 9
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sex before marriage for people over 60, looking for a new partner
Posted: 4/15/2007 1:52:51 PM
not true, the question didn't come up with the other six. I don't know what their thoughts were.
 jacklondon1536
Joined: 3/13/2007
Msg: 10
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sex before marriage for people over 60, looking for a new partner
Posted: 4/15/2007 2:03:48 PM
to ruckus123 not true, the question didn't come up with the other six. I don't know what their thoughts were.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 11
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sex before marriage for people over 60, looking for a new partner
Posted: 4/15/2007 4:03:29 PM
Jack, I can't imagine not! Maybe you need to get out of Texas, lol!

Ideally, I do see myself eventually remarried (done the to death do you part without it, and do NOT ever want to go there again). At minimum living together with a Durable Power of Attorney for Healthcare. But I can't imagine going into either of those situations without having already made a good deal of very good love with the GIQ.

Whether he's ready, willing, and able is also something I'd like to know fairly early on in emailing, so don't give up. Plenty of ladies on Plenty of Fish, just work your way down the list, lol! Don't settle!


 a_sweet_fishy
Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 12
sex before marriage for people over 60, looking for a new partner
Posted: 4/15/2007 4:14:46 PM
Don't have a lot to add to this (I am only 36) but I just wanted to say, this thread gave me the warm fuzzies and TONS of hope for the future!!! Thanks guys!!!
 gtadaizee
Joined: 10/22/2006
Msg: 13
sex before marriage for people over 60, looking for a new partner
Posted: 4/16/2007 6:10:48 AM
OP I sure hope those women are reading and learning. Sorry but I do find this funny. HOME BASE????!!!!! okay well shoot for 3rd and hope that you can make it a home run!!! Don't give up, there are a lot of healthy 60 plus women now. You just have to make sure you can keep up to them. Said with all niceness. Good luck!!!!!
 gtadaizee
Joined: 10/22/2006
Msg: 14
sex before marriage for people over 60, looking for a new partner
Posted: 4/17/2007 7:10:00 AM
Oh I hope this thread doesn't die. Not many for over 60 set! What do you think about gals or guys over 60 "getting to home base" before marriage???


I just heard a funny story that you will appreciate. There is a man who is 73. There is a woman who is 50, was happily married for 20 years and the last 10 years they've just been friends. They are now going thru an amicable divorce.

Any way this 50 yr old women is not in a relationship with the 73 year old man. When she was a little girl she had a crush on him!!!! They are really into their relationship and enjoying it AND she says IT IS THE BEST SEX SHE HAS EVER HAD!!!! Considering she only has her ex to compare it to, it must still be pretty good to have her so excited. This is a real story.
 Highflyingadored
Joined: 3/18/2006
Msg: 15
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sex before marriage for people over 60, looking for a new partner
Posted: 4/17/2007 8:04:40 AM
Well............for what its worth i think you are choosing the wrong ladies! Some women, and they dont have to be aged over 60 just dont like sex in any shape or form, more fool them. If you strike up a really good loving relationship with a man and the chemistry is there, why not indulge in some lovemaking (not just sex.......lovemaking). Its no use saving yourself until you die lol. Then again, i am a very sexual person and couldnt imagine life without it. That doesnt mean i sleep around by the way, i am just a normal, loving female who happens to love being loved!
 cayote 136
Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 16
sex before marriage for people over 60, looking for a new partner
Posted: 4/17/2007 9:37:24 AM
No offence as I am in the same boat you are. Sounds like an insurance scam to me. Man just do it before you die peroid...married or not!
 bucamaniac40
Joined: 3/4/2007
Msg: 17
sex before marriage for people over 60, looking for a new partner
Posted: 4/17/2007 10:00:51 AM
JackLondon,being as my 93 yearold great grandfather DIED on top of his 36 year old 4th wife(and he outlived all but the 4th! LOL) I would say stick to your guns and if some granny is gonna hold the marriage gun to your head,kick the foosie to the curb and find that sweet lady who knows what lifes all about!
 professora
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 18
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sex before marriage for people over 60?
Posted: 4/11/2010 6:04:52 PM
Are you still seeking info?

Women who hold out too long usually are cold partners even with a ring and marriage certificate.

Any comments disagreeing with me are welcomed. That's been my observation and what others have told me.

Peppie
 Mick4astart
Joined: 8/14/2006
Msg: 19
sex before marriage for people over 60?
Posted: 4/12/2010 9:29:35 AM
Good to see an interesting thread revived .....

I am approaching 70 yrs; still active in all senses of the word! Now single after 2 marriages I am very clear that any person who might become an intimate friend really does have to share, with the same intensity, many of my likes & dislikes ..... and libido, intimacy and sexuality certainly come under that heading.

I no longer subscribe to the dogma that monogamy is the only 'way'. With divorce rates over 50%, never mind the cheating & the DADT crowd, it is clear to me that for many of us ethical non-monogamy - and ethical means being open and both/all being in agreement - is no longer the objective in our lives. It might work, in fact it does work for some but not for everyone. Personally I have come to respect the position that others take; I just expect similar respect in return. The Polyamory lifestyle is for me a realistic alternative. And when I meet poly ladies, the connection is very apparent - and NO that does NOT mean we leap into bed, it just means that we can share

I would love to hear from some of more mature folks - I am sure that as we have aged many of us had to review some of the 'givens' that we assumed we would always live with ...... it doesn't always work out that way as I have found out.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 20
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sex before marriage for people over 60, looking for a new partner
Posted: 4/12/2010 10:01:21 AM
They have antiquated ideas, I think. Even marriage won't improve things with most of those women. With fewer years left to enjoy, why raise ridiculous barriers to happiness? I think most of those holding out will end up alone. Focus on those who don't have delusions, OP.
 breath~
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 21
sex before marriage for people over 60?
Posted: 4/12/2010 10:07:40 AM
I'm not over 60 yet, but there it sits.. pretty durn near right around the corner.

I doubt if I'll ever get married again.. as in a "let the govt. know what's up in your life" kind of marriage.

But there may be a committed relationship in the future, and who knows.. might exchange our own vows and combine households.

I tend to doubt that all happening.. but as I said, who knows.

I DO know that if things get that serious with someone I'm positive we'd already know how we click sexually.

If he said to me "let's not try it out until we move in together"? I'd certainly see already that there is a problem!
A problem of non-communication.. of not being upfront and open about all things.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 22
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sex before marriage for people over 60?
Posted: 4/12/2010 10:31:14 AM
I think you're making the same mistake that many men make in online dating - bringing up sex before you've even met or developed any kind of a bond with them. You're putting the cart before the horse. They might be thinking also that you are laying the groundwork for cybersex and are just another online perv so they shut you down right away by saying "marry me first". Women over a certain age definitely are even more humiliated by getting hung up on a guy after sex, just to have him pull a disappearing act. We're supposed to know better and be wiser than that. How do they know that you won't do that OP? Some women after menopause seem to be perfectly happy to live out the rest of their lives without sex. I personally don't understand that.

Meet them first, develop some chemistry, and then discuss it with them. Good luck to you!
 luckyhot777s
Joined: 12/26/2008
Msg: 23
sex before marriage for people over 60?
Posted: 4/12/2010 12:03:02 PM
Here's the deal...if its important for you to have sex before marriage, say...to see how they are before you tie the knot...or you are just looking for casual fun.

Then pass up the ones who require to get married first.
 iyamnot
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 24
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sex before marriage for people over 60?
Posted: 4/12/2010 7:16:23 PM
OMG ! You'd think by the time we've reached this age, we'd have smartened up a bit.
Been there, done that, now want to try something different. when we were young, it
wasn't too viable to live with your honey. Well now we can, (just like the young ones do) And when and if, the right honey comes round, not going to be worried about any wedding bells. who in their right mind, would want to get married this late in the game ? Just get out, enjoy, and if the right one comes along, take him home, or , visit
every now and again, whatever floats your boat.
 Elgalawaat
Joined: 11/24/2008
Msg: 25
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sex before marriage for people over 60, looking for a new partner
Posted: 4/12/2010 8:15:46 PM
Man wise up. Look in the right places. May be women over 60 they don't ant sex may be their Biological clock battery is dead. Keep looking you will find plenty.
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