| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 4/16/2007 11:56:48 AM | What is the funniest sexual experience you have ever had....this one could get interesting! Looking forward to seeing some of the replies.
I guess I will get this started, by far the worst thing and funniest thing at the same time. Right in the middle of it all her dog jumps on the bed and starts humping my leg. I wanted to kill the dog, but I was nice and just kicked it instead! | |
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ceg33
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Joined: 1/8/2007
Msg: 2 | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 4/17/2007 9:42:12 PM | Try having your parents walking into your house while you were making love to your wife on the floor...i did'nt think it was that funny at the time infact very embarassing .
Now looking back on it i can't have but snicker only because i remember the shocked look on my parents face. I think they wer even more embarassed then we were | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 4/18/2007 9:25:05 AM | Well this is going back a few years now but when I was in high school, during summer break I was staying at my aunt and uncle’s place while working at my summer job. Well one weekend they went out of town which left just me an my cousin, so my girlfriend drove up and spent the day. Well after 2 weeks of being apart it wasn’t long till we slipped away to the spare room were I was staying. Well after about 10 min my cousin yelled up the stairs “I going to the bar.. you F’n animals!” That just killed me and both my GF and myself laughed about that for quite some time.
He later told me that he kept turning up the TV but it couldn’t go loud enough.  | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 4/18/2007 2:24:35 PM | | Back in my youger days ,when I was married and our son was little about 3 yrs. old .I woke up early and took a walk through the house ,checked in his room to make sure he was ok. I went back in layed down in bed and started cuddling up to my wife and one thing lead to another , before to long I'm on top and we're having a very good time,rite in the middle of it all the bedroom door flies open my son jumps up on the bed and on my back and says he wants to wrestle too. Funny but you don't get it out of your mind for a while .Thats when we learned from then on ALWAYS lock the door | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 4/19/2007 4:45:35 AM | | My friend got drunk and hijacked my double bed for her and her guy. I woke on the sofa in the early hours to hear banging and buzzing.... I'd left my 'rabbit' under my pillow and it got switched on whilst they were having fun in my bed. They couldn't turn it off and were banging it on the floor.... They killed it | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 4/19/2007 8:24:49 AM | My date had a severe asthma attack while I was going down on her.Really bad, had to rush her to the hospital in a cab.
That's not the funny part.
I knew that she was a Paramedic, what I didn't know was that she worked primarily out of the hospital that I took her to. So the whole time we're there, she's getting worked on, and everyone's basically reaching over her to introduce themselves. Apparently they'd heard a lot about me.
Bet they heard a lot more after that.
Awkward way to meet the circle of friends. | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 4/19/2007 2:36:28 PM | My ex and I were into the whole spanking thing and one time he tried spanking me pretty hard while I was on top, only he missed and ended up spanking his balls super hard.
We were both practically in tears, him from pain and me because I thought it was so funny!
He actually thought it was funny after, but at the time was in too much pain. I did feel pretty bad for laughing but I couldn't help it. We never did finish that session, we just went for ice cream (that seemed to solve everything when I was with him!). | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 4/20/2007 7:26:50 PM | I'm guessing his ice cream wasn't to eat?
Geez-louise, I can picture that so well it hurts!
Gotta hate it when the simplest things go so terribly wrong.
OP, thank you for bringing such joy into my frenzied days. I'll be checking this thread like a kid on Xmas Morning! | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 4/20/2007 10:33:40 PM | I don't have anything crazy to tell, but heres one I crack up about.
My ex didn't want me to come in her, so I pulled out. She was giving me the hand, and her cell phone went off......Sh eused the other hand to pick it up, answered her mom, and took it to the face/phone.
Did I ever hear it later....the look was priceless though (on her face, not the load on her face....I dont find that very funny....ok...just a little bit) | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 4/21/2007 5:54:28 AM | | My girl at the time was giving me head in her bedroom, and we heard her mom coming up the hall(her door was slightly open); so she bolts up from the covers and I blew my load RIGHT when her mom walked in...From then on she kept bugging me about having the hots for her mom.lol. OR The time we were having sex outside by the Rideau Canal in Oct. We finished up and saw a couple standing on the path a ways watching us... | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 4/21/2007 7:53:22 AM | We were newlyweds, we were home in the afternoon, the laundry was downstairs in the dryer and our apartment door was unlocked. With 40 minutes left on the dry cycle we abandoned care and took advantage of our state in the dining room. She began to praise my efforts with her long low moans and began to be even more enthusiastic as orgasms moved through her entire body, and as we finished we noticed our new neighbour, standing in the foyer, hands clasped together, the open door behind her, wide eyed and speechless. She fled to her own apartment and every time we met thereafter she looked away redfaced.
Her husband brought her to a pool party the building social club organized that summer and after many drinks she owned up to hearing what she thought was a person dying in our apartment. She says she knocked, then tried the door and was treated the sight of two young athletes in full rut on the dining room table. The crowd was listening and expressed approval with much laughter and when we had that couple for dinner I seated her at the anointed place. Liberal lashings of wine had them both loose tongued and eventually her husband admitting that he wondered why she asked him for sex on their own dining room table, but now he knows.
I still examine every table I encounter and mentally rate them for strength. | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 4/22/2007 9:21:57 AM | My ex and I just moved in together...and we had come home from a wild night of drinks and dancing....after our wild romp in the sack I went to the bathroom...when I came back out...I saw him sitting on the edge of the bed with this horrified look on his face as he is looking down between his legs removing pieces of green spearmint gum from his ...well you know...lol....he had no idea what it was....I just stood there for a moment...and blurted out.."Thats where my gum went!"...lol.....I still crack up everytime I share this story...after he`d figured out it was my chewing gum...he laughed so hard for about 30 minutes....I`ve learned to remove the gum first...LOL | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 4/22/2007 10:40:14 AM | Ok, these go back a few (or more) years and I won't get into the stories behind them, but here's mine
~broke the bed frame and we both went tumbling
~got chased by a cow
~fell off the merry-go-round | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 4/22/2007 4:49:18 PM | | Well, just making out in the car, front seat. I was on the passenger side. She of course was on the driver side. Her foot slipped and hit the gas and really reved the engine. It was in park which was good. We got a good laugh out of that. | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 4/22/2007 5:39:23 PM | 2 things, 2 separate times with 2 different women.
First, I was with a beautiful lady who happens to be an animal lover. She has 3 dogs (a small one, a medium sized one, and a large one), 3 cats, a 12 foot boa constrictor that sleeps behind her bed in a tank which serves as a headboard (talk about trying to compete with that is a trip in itself). Well, it was during a hurricane and she asked me to stay over. I did and one thing led to another and we were in her bed. Her animals always sleep with her (by the way I'm allergic so my throat is closing but what a way to go) Well, the animals are literally climbing on the bed and her little pomeranian is getting involved (hell, it was dark, I just thought I'd found a multi talented woman). Sadly he never called me the next day. The odd thing is that it was very hard for me to concentrate because cats are climbing on the pillows dogs are jumping over us and she's acting like it's completely normal.
Second time I was with a speller. Now it's hard enough for a man to concentrate on one thing at a time but imagine being with a woman who spells out dirty words during love making? "F-U... me" It was like an X rated spelling bee. Talk about distractions. I like a verbal woman but when I have to stop and figure out what the hell she is spelling, well, not exactly an aphrodesiac. | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 4/22/2007 6:05:36 PM |
Second time I was with a speller. Now it's hard enough for a man to concentrate on one thing at a time but imagine being with a woman who spells out dirty words during love making? "F-U... me" It was like an X rated spelling bee. Talk about distractions. I like a verbal woman but when I have to stop and figure out what the hell she is spelling, well, not exactly an aphrodesiac.
On the radio recently it said that sex causes a man to temporarly lose intelligence.
Kinda defeats the purpose now doesn't it? | |
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 4/22/2007 6:33:37 PM | I'm a real wild child, to say the least. I'm big into toys and utensils. My ex-wife and I once owned over 440 adult toys. We used to sell them and give demonstration parties.
That said, the funniest thing I ever had happen is this.....................
My ex-girlfriend (her name was Torrey) and I were in bed together. I was going down on her. Being Mr. Experimental, I was always big in using Listerine Breath Strips when going down on a woman.
So, I popped one in my mouth, and went back down on her. I was using slow licks to get the full effect of the Listerine Strip on her cl*t*r*s. She said that she was feeling a strange tingling feeling, and asked what I was doing. It then hit her full force while I was going down on her, and her whole body arched. I kept my face in place and held on with my hands (I'm 6'1" and she was 5' even, so it wasn't hard to).
As her back settled back down on the bed, I pulled back and VERY gently blew on her cl*t*r*s. When I did that, she shot out of bed at WARP speed, hit the shower, turned it on, then started SCREAMING at the top of her lungs, "HOT OR COLD?!? HOT OR COLD?!?" I died laughing!!!
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| Funniest thing ever happened to you during sex?
Posted: 4/22/2007 7:39:11 PM | Back in the high school days my GF at the time had her head in a restful position as we were driving down this back road . Well all of a sudden this local farmer pulled out in front of us with a load of hay on his tractor. I jerked the wheel and ran off the road taking out a section of fence. The farmer who was good friends with my dad jumped out of his tractor and ran down to see if we were ok. Well what he saw was my GF with you know what all over her face and my shorts down around my ankels. Oh living in a small town made life fun for me and her for awhile after that. | |
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