| Set ups
Posted: 4/17/2007 8:10:26 PM | I work with a girl (call her Jen). A common friend at work asked me if I knew any single guys to set her up with and I mentioned I guy I cycle with (call him Bob).
Jen is very attractive, intelligent and has a good personality, a catch (except that I try to avoid dating people at work with, and my workplace in particular is a total fishbowl).
I set them up on the condition she give an opinion on a tattoo and they went out and seemed to hit it off. On her own accord she asked him if he knew of anyone that he would set me up with.
I haven't talked to Bob for a few weeks and I have not talked to Jen about Bob. I recently got an e-mail from Bob asking me if I was interested in a friend of his that he dated for a few times. He said she was not his type and he admitted to be shallow when it comes to looks.
Everyone has their own perception of what is attractive but this is not exactly a ringing endorsement. I'll still meet up with her if she's interested as she likes to travel (I'm a travel fanatic but my idea of travel many would not like) and we may find other things in common.
Question is, I set Bob up with someone I thought was attractive. He wants to set me up with someone he does not find attractive. Would you set someone up with someone else you would not date because you found them not attractive in some way? | |
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| Set ups
Posted: 4/17/2007 8:12:49 PM | Well, I definately wouldn't, cause if I find that person attractive and I was single then i'd setup a date for me... 
Besides I hate being setup with somebody by a friend.. | |
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Tramp
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Joined: 2/8/2007
Msg: 3 | |
| Set ups
Posted: 4/17/2007 9:18:54 PM | Hey dream... double date?
Forget about friends and match making,...make your own dates. | |
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| Set ups
Posted: 4/17/2007 10:24:29 PM | I agree with the person above me. He makes a good point.
Just go on a double outing.. No strings attached. Just go there to me up with eachother, have a few****ails, talk , and laugh.. ya know..
A good ol'time.. | |
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| Set ups
Posted: 4/17/2007 10:43:40 PM | Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
what your friend finds unattractive, you may not
If your so shallow to go soley and wholey on looks you deserve to be single anyway
who wants a god damn barbie doll look a like ....with the personality of a plastic doll....lol
isnt it worth giving it a chance and finding out
just my 2 cents
i hope your not shallow and have a wonderful life with someone special to share it with
As for the set up question......they are always bad news.....let people find people for themselves....i know if my friends set me up.....nah....they never would cos they know i dont like it....lol
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| Set ups
Posted: 4/17/2007 11:40:31 PM | i would because i have frenz who have TOTALLY different taste then me. For example, a guy who is a total trucker with a goatee and is laid back and casual would be fine for my friend, but facial hair turns me off and i go for the more cleaned up look.
different folks, different strokes, but hey, if everyone had the same taste we would all be fighting for the same people now wouldnt we? | |
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| Set ups
Posted: 4/18/2007 12:46:41 AM | | He might be trying a palm-off right now. Then again, if he thought she was awesome, but just not up to his standards in the looks department, but thought you would be satisfied, that also makes sense. To answer your question, yes, I would set a buddy of mine up with a girl I didn't find attractive if I thought she'd be someone he might like. | |
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| Set ups
Posted: 4/18/2007 12:55:49 AM | I totally agree with kainhunter....
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.... I would also take into consideration what I know about my buddy, and see if they would be even somewhat compatible...But what is the harm in giving it a try.
I also agree with another poster about doing the whole double date thing... something casual... maybe some drinks at a lounge... and you could get a better "feel" for the person, and take it from there.
KRS | |
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| Set ups
Posted: 4/18/2007 3:26:54 AM | No, no, no, no !
Do not set me up with anyone ! Do not talk to anyone about me !
If your a man, never ever depend upon a woman to pick another woman for you.
There is nothing but embarrassment and hurt feelings to come from it.
Women have no taste in other women.
I shop for my own cars and girlfriends. | |
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JWA
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Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 10 | |
| Set ups
Posted: 4/18/2007 4:12:12 AM | Despite all the other high school drama here I find it funny this is more about the "quality" of the fix ups instead of the actual action. The OP seems to think since he "provided" a Hottie and his friend didn't "provide" one equally Hot then somehow he's been cheated? Come on Man----are you fricking serious?? LOL
Or did I miss something here??? | |
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| Set ups
Posted: 4/18/2007 5:53:13 AM | I don't think set ups really work, they never have for me.
Too much pressure and expectation,
so I don't ask my friends anymore if they know any single chicks, I grew out of that a few years ago. | |
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Kengne
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Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 12 | |
| Set ups
Posted: 4/18/2007 6:04:16 AM | Hmmmm good question. Seems like Bob is passin on his leftovers to you.
I personally - would not hook up my friends with someone I did not find attractive, MYSELF. Just seems kinda stupid. But then again - maybe *his* taste is different from yours, and he KNOWS this.
So it could go either ways.
It doesn't hurt to meet up with her. If you're not feelin her, just move on.
Good luck!
K. | |
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| Set ups
Posted: 4/18/2007 9:12:36 PM |
Despite all the other high school drama here I find it funny this is more about the "quality" of the fix ups instead of the actual action. The OP seems to think since he "provided" a Hottie and his friend didn't "provide" one equally Hot then somehow he's been cheated? Come on Man----are you fricking serious?? LOL
Or did I miss something here???
Yeah, you did miss a few things. i did not describe Jen as a hottie but said she was attractive in a few ways and the set up was with no strings attached (except for the tattoo op) and would have preferred she had not brought the matter up with Bob. Prime reason that set ups may not work is friends may take too much interest in a meet up. Jen is a catch, she's just a single mum that does not meet enough single men.
I just thought Bob's comment "I wouldn't date her because I found her unattractive but she might be good for you" was wrong. He may have been better off saying less than me. But still I wouldn't set up a friend with someone I was not attracted to in some way. | |
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JWA
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Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 14 | |
| Set ups
Posted: 4/19/2007 2:35:22 AM | ^^^Msg 13: I do apologize for missing what you reiterate but my point would still be this thing about setting someone up with a friend, etc is almost never a good idea. If they happened to meet without your effort that would be one thing---introducing them with the thought something might develop could be a problem for yourself later on.
Sorry for my oversight! | |
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| Set ups
Posted: 4/19/2007 2:55:25 AM | I totally understand what you mean. It feels (may not be what they mean, but it's how it feels) like they're basically saying, 'Well I find them ugly, so they might be good for you!' Some people may look at this and think you're shallow but I don't think so. I think you were offended at your friends comment. I mean I would take offense to it as well, so I don't blame you. I've also been in the position of a friend trying to set me up with unattractive guys saying they'd be 'perfect for me'. But then again her idea of what is attractive is somewhat... odd. Beauty is DEFINITELY in the eye of the beholder in this case. I think most would agree with me if they saw the guys she likes... Her bf looks like a Chinese beaver. He's white, not Chinese. Nor is he a beaver.
But wouldn't that be interesting? | |
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| Set ups
Posted: 4/19/2007 3:20:59 PM | No probs JWA and I do agree with you to a large extent - friend set ups can be a pain in the ass for the setter and the settee...If you're the setter you friend may be pissed off with anything short of perfection and if you're the settee if you don't take the bait you may be considered shallow or an ***hole. Been in both sits.
However (lol) in most ways I don't consider it any worse than meeting a total stranger thru the internet. | |
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Posted: 4/19/2007 3:24:06 PM | | Luckily, not everyone finds the same things attractive... otherwise, we'd all want the same people... | |
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| Set ups
Posted: 4/19/2007 4:58:14 PM |
Msg: 1 -- He wants to set me up with someone he does not find attractive. Would you set someone up with someone else you would not date because you found them not attractive in some way?
That depends on how well I know his taste in women. There are some women I would never consider at all that most men would fall all over themselves to date. There are some "standard beauties" I have seen that appeal to me and most other men, but most don't do a thing for me. My taste is wide-ranging and unpredictable even for me, so someone I find attractive might not be appealing to other men at all, and the reverse is quite frequently true. | |
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mcq_d
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Joined: 3/15/2007
Msg: 19 | |
| Set ups
Posted: 4/19/2007 5:27:23 PM | | Set ups are evil. Maybe there is that 1% that work out, but I don't really like them. | |
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| Set ups
Posted: 4/19/2007 5:39:15 PM | My first question is how much better looking is Bob than you? (I'm kidding!)
Maybe he thought you'd care more about her personality than her looks... Ya never know. One man's trash is another man's treasure! | |
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| Set ups
Posted: 4/19/2007 6:01:34 PM | Let's face it - we all know when someone is attractive or not. I don't go for the crap that attraction is in the eyes of the beholder! To a certain point that is true, but we all know when someone is good-looking or not, i.e. Angelina Jolie, Tom Cruise, etc. they are all very attractive, but Rosie O'Donnell is not.
My suggestion to you is if he doesn't have a picture of her and you can't get another opinion (from someone else), and you're fairly picky about looks, then maybe forget it in this case, or suggest you four get together at a coffee shop (mention that this would not be a blind date or a set-up). That's what I've done in the past, and you would know right away if you'd want to pursue this girl (or not) after meeting her. At least if you weren't attracted to her, you could still have the other people to talk to. What I like about meeting up for coffee is that you can make it short and sweet - unlike a dinner date. | |
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| Set ups
Posted: 4/19/2007 6:15:45 PM | Plan a group date Bob and Jen, Aventuero and Dog
So this Bob sounds like a great buddy...NOT he is keeping all the hotties for himself.
If he really liked you he would set you up with a cute girl
This is funny I set YOU up with a prettier girl than you set ME up with... waaaa!
Hey maybe she has big tata's then you won't need to look in her eyes! | |
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| Set ups
Posted: 4/19/2007 8:18:40 PM |
My first question is how much better looking is Bob than you? (I'm kidding!)
Maybe he thought you'd care more about her personality than her looks... Ya never know. One man's trash is another man's treasure!
lol. You're evil...trying to start a rivalry. Bob cycles faster than me but thats oooonnnlllyyy because he's got a more expensive bike, but I've got the more expensive vehicle. Beyond that it's whether you like blondes or brunettes. | |
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| Set ups
Posted: 4/19/2007 8:26:37 PM | Maybe he knows she likes the same things as you do OP...
It could be as simple as the shape of her eyes...sheesh
Maybe she has curly hair & he prefers straight...
Who's being shallow here anyway?
I have no problem at all mention ppl to friends that I find are their types but not mine...
Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with them in any way! | |
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| Set ups
Posted: 4/19/2007 9:41:44 PM | | I would set up a friend who I didnt think was physically attractive if I thought they had a great personality or I thought they could make her happy. If your that concerned about looks than get a picture. | |
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