| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/17/2007 8:46:51 PM | Howdy everyone, for those of you who had very long term relationships that ended what have you done with the pictures of your ex? I mean I still have all of our pictures from weddings, trips like the Philippines and dominican republic and others. I can't stand to see her on the pictures BUT since I was with her so many years most of my pictures (digital pics) where taken with her in them. My delima is I guess that I can't stand to have those pics because she is in almost every pic but I can't bare to part with the pictures because of all the other menories that the trips and gatherings had. What would you do or what have you done? I guess i could block her out in the pics but there are 1000's of them and I really dont want to spend that time.
I know probably a dumb post | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/17/2007 9:04:10 PM | | Just give it some time. Leave them alone and don't deal with them. When the right time comes, you will know exactly what to do with them. | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/17/2007 9:40:42 PM | "block her out" of a thousand pictures lol lol
Put them all into a box and put it far out of sight. Change up your surrundings paint the walls or something. Get rid of more than the pictures. keeping that stuff in sight will keep you sad and bog you down.
This is the new stuff. All of that is gone but there is hope for something even better. You have to be ready for the new stuff no matter how hard it is. This could be just the begining of something better than you ever had. | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/17/2007 10:04:33 PM | I threw out most of mine but only saved a few pictures.....mainly the pictures of a fun time together......I know it's difficult..........but on a lighter side,
down the road you could go through them and crop the ones you like removing her from the pictures..........Or you could upload the pics in paintbrush and replace her face with maybe say.............Cyndi Crawford?!!!!!then forward the ex a picture! LOL
I wish Digital Cameras were in when I left my ex - I coulda been seen with Harrison Ford or Sean Connery......even Pierce Brosnan!
Or, if it is just really too, too, painful..............ask a friend to do it for you...... or just put them away somewhere and see how they look next year......
Trust me...............it gets better!
Chin up! | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/17/2007 10:05:35 PM | | This is not a dumb post. Seems more is going on than viewing a slide show, perhaps you are really wondering to accept the past or block it out. I agree that time will probably make things clearer. There are no right answers, just the path you choose. The important part to knos is that you aren't alone and it's a healing thing. | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/17/2007 10:10:15 PM | hey guy, I can relate to where your coming from.. I have lots of pics of me and my ex girlfriend.. we discussed the where abouts of whats and whens and where they should go. well I tell you my friend. Keep them . cherish those moments that you 2 had together for the duration that you were together. She was a good part and times of your life. why destroy. multilate or trash something thats your business and no thers .. I have pics of us all oveer the country. even on the White House steps.. were to this day very good friends. live 3000 miles apart . Own the house I reside in together.. life is just to short not to forget the good times.. but to go on and seek other times and hopefully those times will include fond photos too.. my Ex GF and I dont have a relationship no more. we never each have gotten married. but I dont post them all over the walls. but put them discreetly in photo books on a bookshelf and am proud to show them off to other women. If they cant understand.. thats sad of them that they get that jealious over someone you dearly loved one time or another in your past. You cant change the past times. But you can still rememebr those moments and places they were taken.. trust me. I have had GF's before more or less order me to rip or tear or even burn photos and even oil paintings as I am an artsit. to actually get them away from them and myself..
I had a old GF that her new BF maybe husband now to tear up love letters. photos of us. but to me its her loss.. she will be that one thats subjects herself to listening to whm ever when ever. very vunerable situations.. but I still have photos of old HS gf's that will always be charished and never tossed for no matter what reason or reasons. I will always be thinking of them as old relationships. Thants all you have to do.. explain #1 to your new gal or wife that you just wont get rid of them but will box them for fond memories.. Its like if someone hated your family. Would you tear or destroy photos of them.?. no.. Do the right thing and just hold onto them.. Unless you yourself decide to get rid of them..I hope this helps your photo outlook on past relationships.. take care. Phil from VA.. BE COOL! | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/17/2007 10:11:31 PM | Very tough......I didn't throw out all my pictures with the ex of 4 years in it....and one day I went through them and it ruined me all over again.
I'd say get rid of them all or else it will haunt you. If you can't do that then at least
put them all in a shoe box or a locked folder on the comp. | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/17/2007 10:14:37 PM | | I bury them away and keep them out of view. I make sure to avoid them. Why do I keep them? Proof that I once was loved. | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/17/2007 10:24:58 PM | | Resentment is a form of attachment.. Let it go~ | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/17/2007 10:31:22 PM | I got rid of everything in this house that had ANYTHING to do with her.
That included flat ware - dishes - pictures - and everything she did not take.
I also FINALLY got to do some contemporary design items. I designed this house then built it (designed my other two houses I had also).
This place was SUPPOSE to be just for me and my dog. I met her just as I was starting to build it. Wel all moved in together. (she had two little girls)
And here came her CURLEY QUES ................... yucko.
Ya just don’t put flowery chit in a contemporary designed house lol.
So 20 years later it looks a bit more like it was suppose to look in the first place YAY. | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/17/2007 10:35:14 PM | | Not a dumb post at all. Digital pics can be put on a CD. And photos can be put in an envelope. Pack them away in the basement at the bottom of some unused box, and you'll find them again several years down the road when it doesn't hurt so much. | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/17/2007 10:41:31 PM | After some time passes your hurt will fade. I have every photo ever taken, even High school boyfriends. I have photo albums and scrapbooks filled with my life and the lives of my children - just give it time. Someday you'll be able to look at the photos and remember the fond memories (and laugh at the clothing and hairstyles of the day)
To the one who posted "New husband made her tear up photos/love letters" If you are with someone who asks/demands that you do that RUN- they are a potential abuser if not one already. Everyone has a past and is entitled to treasure their memories. I am not saying that you should have an 8x10 of you and an ex on the bedroom wall, but there is nothing wrong with your past, as long as you have left it behind you. There is no reason for someone to be jealous of a former spouse/lover, that is just plain childish. | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/17/2007 10:44:35 PM | | I just keep all the "dirty" ones LOL! | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/17/2007 10:59:47 PM | | I gave the pics with her in them to the children. I have never seen them since, nor do I want to. | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/17/2007 11:01:33 PM | each person has to decide on their own time and comfort level.
mine i never took down or put away all of ours. but..alot had to do with the kids and their wants/needs.
in due time..they will come down,.,.if/when i ever get serious with another guy..and we live together...otherwise they stay where they are till i decide otherwise. which there is 2 of them left up now..they slowly came down. the last will..when my daughter is ready..she can move it into her room with the rest. | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/18/2007 12:13:01 AM | | I gave all the pic to the kids if they did'nt want them they went in the trash along with his cloths. I don't want nothing around of him or of his. I did not do that because it would bring up old wounds I did it because he deserves nothing. The cheating basterd. | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/18/2007 12:56:40 AM | | I guess I'm lucky as I won't have this problem. She took all the pics with her when she left. Along with everything else in the house. Just an empty shell left with nothing to remind me of her. | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/18/2007 1:06:34 AM | I personally have thrown mine away but dont have that many as they were all shortg relationships.
if i were you i would keep them as there are so many memories and you wont hate her for that long and you will look back and smile 1 day.
However when you get a new girl she may think differently and burn them anyway so there you go problem solved.
good luck hun
jenny
xxxxx | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/18/2007 8:07:26 AM | Thanks so much everyone for your kind replies and advice. It is deffiently hard. I mean I got rid of all her messages, I burnt her love letters, got rid of e-mails, belongings and everything else but pictures because they also hold a memory of not just her but of the places i've been to its harder. I think like one poster said here, it is also proof that I once loved and was in love with someone. But eitherway its just too hard to even take a look at the pics right now even though its been a year since the breakup.
Thanks so much everyone! | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/18/2007 9:45:21 AM | | burn them on to CD and delete them from your Hard drive. Put the CD in a safe place so you cann view them when you are ready. This is what I did and it has worked wonders | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/18/2007 10:19:28 AM | CDs don't always survive the ages. Think duplicates and triplicates, think different formats (eg. copy them onto DVD-R versions, too). Else a decade or two down the road, you and your family, may find the CDs' have become drink coasters. (hard drives are awfully big these days, I'd just leave a copy on the hard drive until you need to delete them)
burn them on to CD and delete them from your Hard drive. Put the CD in a safe place so you cann view them when you are ready. This is what I did and it has worked wonders | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/18/2007 10:25:34 AM | strong lean towards throughing them out, why if you meet someone else the last thing shes going to want is see pics of her....... ........maybe keep a few..but not many | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/18/2007 10:26:44 AM | | I meant throwing.........get me some asprin..........lol | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/18/2007 10:29:40 AM | | Don't throw them away just put them away in a box somewhere. Those photos contain more than just her. In some cases there are other friends and family in them that you would like to remember from that time frame. In some cases if they were trips to foreign places that scenery will be in there too. Even though the relationship ended badly it is still a part of your history and pictures do record history. In time you will be able to take them out again and reminesce without feeling the hurt. But whatever you do don't leave them lying around your house just waiting to be seen by a new girlfriend. That is not the way to start a new relationship. It will just leave you with a lot of explaining to do. | |
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| Ex's pictures
Posted: 4/18/2007 10:39:17 AM | | Keep them in 10 yrs take them out again I guarantee you'll have a good laugh. | |
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