| I have feelings for my best friend... Friends or Friends no more?
Posted: 4/18/2007 3:23:02 PM | We have been good friends for the past year & a half. not sure why , but she wanted to spend new years with me, which we did & we justhad am amazing kiss. ever since then , I realised that I had feelings for her. Never did I say anything about it, our friendship grew stronger. . I don't wanna compromise our friendship by going out with her because I'm complicated. She said that she wouldn't wanna sleep with me cuz that would ruin our friendship. we still are friends . She will ge leaving for a couple of years or more, she knows thatI'm gonna miss her, I know asking her to stay would be terribly selfish... S o should I end our friendship, just because everytime I see her & spend time with her, I fall madly in love with her or should we just be friends... although I really planned on telling her how I feel... the odd thing is that something always comes up...
Thanks for reading this & for your help in advance.
LL | |
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| I have feelings for my best friend... Friends or Friends no more?
Posted: 4/18/2007 4:05:02 PM |
the odd thing is that something always comes up...
Two things: That's either YOU talking yourself right out of telling her, or there's a really good reason why something keeps coming up. Perhaps it's just not time yet? Or, perhaps you should take control of your life and just freakin tell her?! Though I wonder, what would you tell her? Would it be "I wanna pursue more" or something much more? You should really think through what it is you're offering before you ask her to reconsider her 2 year plans. | |
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| I have feelings for my best friend... Friends or Friends no more?
Posted: 4/18/2007 4:05:55 PM | | As you say she is leaving for a few years. If you are ok being friends for that amount of time, then why not stay friends. If you think that both of you want more, then by all means move forward. Distance might not be that big of a problem. Its that whole what if thing, until you try you will never know. The only option I can't see logic in, is breaking off the friendship, this makes no sence. Good luck, with everything, I hope all works out for you. | |
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| I have feelings for my best friend... Friends or Friends no more?
Posted: 4/18/2007 6:21:30 PM | | Female friends are nice and I know that caution needs to be placed on whether or not you want to move forward with making a move. I think allot of it depends on all the factors. Kissing and then not trying to deal with that issue was probably the worst thing you could have done. I would rather be alone then lie about how I felt about someone that was available. That might be 33 talking there but there are a shortage of people that are good for you and if you can find one hold on tight. I can also understand loving to being around someone that you bend to there needs and never adress yours. Where is she going for so many years? Would knowing that you liked her would that have changed her decision to go there? I think if you wait to long you could hate yourself for not doing something and if not she will be going away and it wasn't meant to be. If she really is your friend you should try to step back and look at you and her and now and see if they all add up and don't be selfish ask yourself are you the best thing for her and or each other. What can you lose if you swing and miss. Better than wishing you were up there and never trying. Just don't make a fool of yourself , don't shock and amaze with some predictable romantic ploy cause if your rejected, your not out a bunch of cash. If she had been waiting to hear what you have to say it won't matter what she just got she will have got what she wanted. Regret, sucks I have so much of it, just sometimes just really stupid decisions and some were right in between. But if I could find someone that was available, interesting, sexual attractive and was a confirmed good kisser, who if I didn't move on now I may completely miss the boat. I would buy a ticket. We got one life we know about for sure we can't live wondering, it hurts our souls and often times holds us back from growing as people cause we can't just move on and get over a bad decision. Good luck in what you decide. | |
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| I have feelings for my best friend... Friends or Friends no more?
Posted: 4/21/2007 7:22:45 AM | pls do not tell your lady friend that u have feeling for her,cuz it will ruin the friendship.
what u need to do now is build up attraction,so she will be attracted to u. did u had this feeling for your lady friend in the beginning? one thing i do know about women,if they not attracted to romanctively,they put u in the (friend catorgory). like i said before you need to start building up attraction,so that she can look at u as a lover not a friend. women are only attracted to strong,confident,independent,humorous,,sexual aware aand challenge men. women are not attracted to weak,boring,too available,non-sexual men.
Just back off from your lady friend for a while,no calling,e-mail,text or nothing Man-up now,cuz u need to start getting yourself out of the friend zone quick,or she going really find some-one that really push her attraction button. women don't care how much u feel for them the only thing matter is how they feel for you,and that is attraction.
the name of the game in winning a woman heart is her attraction toward you. once a woman have attraction toward you she will do almost anything for you.
"women are not crazy,us men just don't understand them. | |
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| I have feelings for my best friend... Friends or Friends no more?
Posted: 4/21/2007 7:55:01 AM | LL
From a woman's persepective (as I have been in your shoes with a good male friend). I acted on my feelings, and while we were together for a while and it was all good, it turned out that we broke up (mutual decision) and lost that comfortable feeling we used to have. Ultimately it did wreck the friendship, were always uncomfortable around each other. If she's leaving (assuming she plans on being gone for a while) is there really a future in it? Could she stay if she wanted to? These are questions you need to ask yourself before making a desicion. Ultimately it comes down to two things: Would you rather have her in your life as a friend and possibly down the road work into a relationship? or Tell her how you feel and have the relationship changed or lost to you? Tough decision either way. Trust your instinct. | |
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e-wok
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Joined: 9/25/2006
Msg: 9 | |
| I have feelings for my best friend... Friends or Friends no more?
Posted: 4/21/2007 12:27:05 PM | She said that she wouldn't wanna sleep with me cuz that would ruin our friendship
we just had an amazing kiss
Women like to play coy and pass subtle messages and avoid the
direct approach at all cost. I could be wrong, but I think she
wants you to take control and make your move.
She doesn't want to sleep with you as her friend, but I think she would
if you became a couple. The kissing.....that's just a sample of what
you're gonna miss out on...friends don't kiss friends...she allowed it
because she wanted to.
If you don't make your move soon, there's another guy who will...just
as it happend to me. She confirmed her feeling at a club - same scenario
you're describing....the club where she was celebrating her engagement
to her fiance ;)
Yeah, we guys are dumb but have a problem with second-guessing. | |
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| I have feelings for my best friend... Friends or Friends no more?
Posted: 4/21/2007 10:04:00 PM | | I would say definately tell her... It's this simple...you will never know if she feels the same if you don't ask her... Did you kiss her or did she kiss you? Obviously, if she kissed you, she is attracted to you, as well. And, if you kissed her, she obviously knows you are attracted to her...and, if she kissed you back...that's for a reason. And, I don't know about all girls, but if I asked a guy to spend New Year's Eve with me, I would probably like him more than a friend. The only real problem here is that she will be leaving....What if you tell her and she also likes you? Is she going to still leave? That is setting yourself up for a heartbreak.... Just some thoughts.... | |
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