| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !![Thread Closed]
Posted: 4/18/2007 7:36:15 PM | This has got to be the most ridiculous request I have ever heard.
Talked to someone on the phone I met on here and he wanted me to drive over 60 miles to meet him for a cup of coffee !!! What a joke and on top of that it was to be on Saturday morning. I mentioned at least lunch and he would not even entertain the thought of it.
I said..." let me get this straight now ...you want me to get up at like 7 in the morning on Saturday, my day off of work , and then drive 60 miles that would take me about an hour and 15 minutes to meet you for a cup of coffee ! "
First when he mentioned about meeting on Saturday....I was thinking dinner or at least lunch and I still would have to drive for about an hour to get there which I figured was halfway. Then he says....well can you drive another 15 more miles to get to the next town. I asked him why and he said ...well that would make halfway more equal !!!!
He will be waiting a long time for me to call to confirm that one !!! | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/18/2007 7:50:57 PM |
I was thinking dinner or at least lunch
maybe he's too scared to go eat with you after your last thread
it's all relative...north bay is an hour and a half from here ...it's the next nearest half size town around here. so if i met someone on here that intrigued me, I'd get up on my saturday morning as well and meet her halfway for a coffee.
But i wouldn't expect a lot of people to understand the geographies people in the north have to deal with. | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/18/2007 7:53:12 PM | If I'm hearing (reading) you correctly, you are questioning meeting someone for the first time that will take 1.25 hours to get to your destination - the destination being coffee.
I suppose my question to you is, is the destination coffee or meeting the other person? Saturday morning doesn't work for you - other time perhaps? You said that you were thinking dinner or at 'least' lunch. I believe I'm confused on your motive.
Care to elaborate? | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/18/2007 7:56:03 PM | Some people want everybody to do everything for them! 
I've taken the bus for much longer than an hour and fifteen to go meet women close to their place -- or at least a lot closer to theirs than to mine!
Now if *you* had offered to drive those 60 miles, then ok it's something else. Then again, if you offered to drive 60 miles to meet me halfway I wouldn't mind going the extra mile and meeting you to the town that's nearer to *you* instead of me...
Then again maybe I'm too nice! Actually I was told I was...  | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/18/2007 8:15:12 PM | OP if I may be so bold (and seeing as I know no other way to be that I can live with, that is how I am gonna be), perhaps the reason you find yourself here on PoF is because your expecations are so far from realistic as to almost be the grist that make for a good Thursday night sitcom on NBC.
This is the second thread tonight I have read where you appear to expect any man who shows even the most remote interest in you to succumb to some predetermined set of behaviors that you have created for him before you will dain to give him a moment of your time. Perhaps it is time you pare this list of "must haves" and "can't haves" down to something resembling a list that an actual human male could hope to live up too. Exactly what is it about you that makes you believe that your time and effort are so much more inherently valuable than anyone elses? I didn't notice the tiara and scepter, or the noble lineage in your profile when I had a gander at it, so perhaps its time to stop playing the princess and start being a reasonable human being. I am all for treating a woman like a princess, but only do so when it is my choice to do so, not when it is automatically expected of me.
Now speaking for myself, I once drove for 11 hours to have a cup of coffee with a woman I had never met, because I was bloody well interested in that woman at the time, and well because being spontaneous is my nature, and the journey is near as exciting to me as the destination. Had it not worked out, I was smart enough to have a back up plan and not count it as time wasted. I am well aware that some staunch urbanites ahbor the idea of even switching trains to meet someone who is only 20 mins away as the crow flies, but if you are suburbanite such as myself and others, traveling an hour or two is hardly unheard of or uncalled for. Even for just a simple cup of coffee.
Which brings us to the point of Coffee, versus lunch and getting up on a Saturday. Now again speaking for myself, I can promise you my days of sitting across the table for an hour or more from someone I feel absoutely no chemistry with, watching them fill their pie hole with food, is not likely something I shall ever do again, unless it's for business, and a contract or check is the likely result. A cup of coffee or a drink, with the potential for lunch, dinner or some other activity after if we mutually desire such is more likely to be the case, and I am sure others do this as well. Now again, speaking for myself, chances are I wouldn't even consider this much if I there wasn't some interest brought on via several conversations, and what have you to begin with. So when it happens or what time is of little concern as my main concern is meeting someone I have some interest in.
I can assure you OP, it is highly unlikely the fellow in question is waiting with bated breath for your phone call to confirm. More likely, upon reading this and your other threads he has already moved on to someone else with more realistic sensibilities. I have always found it most interesting when women want "Selective Equal Rights", as is apparently the case here. Good luck with that toots!
Have fun ;)!
PS: Note to the curious; I am not the guy in question. I make it a habit to no longer date women from towns that start with a "B". | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/18/2007 8:17:16 PM | Thank you for your elaboration!!
I don't understand why the reasoning for the meeting would be different... unless, after the timing of the drive, you'd be hungry (which I understand since ...well... that's off topic). I'm assuming you want to pay for the lunch or the dinner, since you keep bringing this up? Is this why you're upset that it's 'just' coffee? You can see how it goes for 'coffee' and if it's well, suggest a nice place for a late lunch/dinner, on your dime, since you're so wanting to consume food. Do a bit of research online and find a place in the area that you'd like to experience. If it doesn't go well over 'coffee', I'd go to the restaurant by myself. Nothing lost, only much to gain! | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/18/2007 8:19:05 PM | Actually, that would be 75 minutes there and 75 minutes back, so you're talking about two and a half hours of driving for coffee. If a woman were to tell me coffee and coffee only for that amount of effort, I don't think I'd bother either. I don't blame you. I don't think you're talking about how much money is spent, as others might think, but it's more about the time shared with one another, since you would be putting in quite a bit of time just to be there. Besides, a short meeting probably wouldn't have left you enough time to discover whether it would be worth the effort of driving that distance for a second date.
I think it would have been a better idea for him to set aside more time, and if things weren't going well, you or he could have cut the date short. The guy sounds like a private person. Just say, "Next!" and find someone else--possibly closer--for a first date. Cheers!
I guess sharing a meal was moving too fast for him. Perhaps if things would have went well, your first kiss could have been by Autumn.
Geez. Heaven forbid that a first date be shared over a meal. When the hell did coffee become the end-all be-all of first dates? When did wanting something to eat become "unrealistic expectations"? Some of you need to grow a brain, learn how to do things a little bit differently for different circumstances instead of using some non-existent, neurotic dating handbook that only exists in your minds.
There are no rules to dating. Quit criticizing this lady. She has a point. | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/18/2007 8:21:48 PM | Tell ya what Astrea , you tell me which town and I'll drive the miles to meet you for coffee . Where I live the next towns are at least an hour away so its normal for my thoughts , but then again I would travel about any distance for the right woman .
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/18/2007 8:21:54 PM | | What's wrong with some expectations? There are plenty of guys who would be willing to drive more than 60 miles to meet the woman the first time. I can't agree with her more. If you are to take the time out of a day to meet someone, at least make it lunch or something more constructive. If it is a 15 minute drive,who cares. An hour and a quarter drive for me is a drive to the east side of the metro area. I would do it for the right lady in the blink of an eye. Heck...I have driven 5 hours to meet someone. Of course, we had more substantial plans. What doesn't make sense about that? | |
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Tramp
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Joined: 2/8/2007
Msg: 14 | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/18/2007 8:28:48 PM | Believe me....I have my own money to pay for a dinner, lunch or a cup of coffee.
The point was the sillyness of the whole thing.
I value my Saturdays and the audacity to invite me to drive so far away to meet him was totally out of line.
What is with you guys anymore, you think everything should be handed to you on a silver platter without any effort at all ??? | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/18/2007 8:31:08 PM | | Well I am glad you let him drink coffee by himself, sounds like he was just trying to play a game with you and it backfired. Sounds like a guy who can't make up his mind which penny to spend first, the new one or the old one. GJJ | |
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Tramp
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Joined: 2/8/2007
Msg: 17 | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/18/2007 8:35:30 PM | Guess Im wondering why the *Coffee date* couldntve turned INTO a Lunch/Dinner or whatever date... Or was that already established by the *ground rules*.
.... Life is sooooo much simpler/interesting when a person lets themselves adapt to a fluid enviroment | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/18/2007 8:38:54 PM | Well, he might very well be worth the drive. The way I see it, that's a chance you take contacting someone who lives a distance away. For the most part, a first meeting is generally something quick to see if the chemistry exists, but who knows you could end up sitting and chatting for hours or you could be thankful you didn't sit through lunch.
Sometimes good things you have to make a little extra effort for...
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/18/2007 8:57:00 PM | I have to apologize for suggesting you meet me for coffee. I was under the deluded impression that we had chatted and found each other interesting. I thought that we both had an interest in meeting in person to see if there would be more. I might have not wanted to make you commit to a night on the town if you found me a troll. I also might have not wanted to waste my saturday night having dinner with someone who looks nothing like her picture. (maybe just as pretty but you can look much more reptilian in person with the right attitude) Of course I have to beg forgivness for not deciding, since saturday is a rare event for you (my calendar provides them every seven days but hey, to each his own) that we should really have just made a date at the closest decent restaurant to your home. And I should have offered to send a limo.
After all to fail to do these things I am being an insensitive/overly sensitive male who just wants to have "it handed to him on a platter"
You are absolutely right, it was selfish of me. It really is all about you and I will try to remember that in the future. While I am at it I will apologize for being born. And for the fact that I can't make you see your complaints and attitude are the kind of princess that is not "worth the drive to Acton" | |
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| Invited a woman to drive 60 miles to meet for a cup of coffee !!
Posted: 4/18/2007 9:08:25 PM | I disagree..Maybe it's my age or my version of reality. I'd rather drive an hour to meet someone for just coffee and let it turn into more IF we Connect..Personally I really do dislike making plans that will subject either one of us to doing anything further together if either of us are not at all attracted, or just dislike each other..No connect, nice to meet ya, see ya..Meal, hmmm can i get that to go..
First meetings I don't believe should come with any form of expectations. You each pay for your own coffee, meal, whatever it is. Your meeting for the first time, regardless of prior conversations, you really just don't know if you'll connect on a deeper level. If you do. AWESOME. It's nice if an offer is placed on the table, but unnecessary.
Just my opinion.
Peace (ful) | |
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If it was one of those Starbucks frapachino things,with the whip cream, and the caramell drizelled over the top,and the,,,,sorry think I need to go to the kitchen freezer now. 
