| | The TestPage 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | I met this woman for dinner at Taco Loco. Everything was going pretty good. We were having a good conversation and I thought clicking pretty well. The waitress brought the check and when I picked it up the woman pretty much snatched it from my hand and said that she would pay.
I told her that I would take care of it, it wasn't a problem. After about 3 attempts to get her to let me pay the tab I gave up and just let her pay it. I called her the next day to see if she wanted to do anything and she told me that she didn't want to see me again. When I asked her why she told me that the tab thing was a test and I had failed. She also said I was a cheapskate (in meaner words).
So when I am on a date with a woman and she grabs the bill from me should I chase her around the resteraunt to get it back? Would that allow me to pass the "test?"
Ever since then I have always felt awkward when meeting someone for a dinner date. I make sure I grab that tab and hold on tight! | |
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| The Test
Posted: 4/19/2007 3:32:27 PM | | Offer to split the check then offer to pick it up next time ... otherwise be grateful that you didn't start a relationship with this woman who "tests" you. | |
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Posted: 4/19/2007 3:45:42 PM | | Don't let one dimbulb make you start questioning your behavior. You did the right thing. She's the one with the problem, and you really don't want to be passing the kind of tests she'd be constantly giving you. | |
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Posted: 4/19/2007 3:59:39 PM | | she's lying to you, she decided she wasnt interested and told you a load of trash about that tab thing, she insisted on paying after you asked her three times, thats more than a generous attempt to pay short of snatching it back | |
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Posted: 4/19/2007 4:06:25 PM | IF this was a test...and I doubt it...she is a psycho and you should be happy you didn't fork out the money for this particular excursion. If I am on a first 'date/meeting', I will offer to pay my half, this gives the guy a chance to back out gracefully...let me pay my half and leave, without climbing out the bathroom window. 
My vote?  on! | |
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Posted: 4/19/2007 4:15:11 PM | Either she's a **** or a liar (or both). Consider yourself lucky you didn't waste any more time on her.
What's with these tests? Do people really do this? | |
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Posted: 4/19/2007 4:24:08 PM | | Nothing good ever comes from these types of tests. It suggests insecurity that will undoubtedly lead to manipulation, meaning this type of woman will normally speak to you in codes that only she and her girlfriends will understand - and they will probably know about it beforehand. You will lose. Walk away from these women. They are insane. | |
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Posted: 4/19/2007 4:24:15 PM | It was a test, and she failed. I would look at it as I am glad I found out sooner rather than later.
Bob | |
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Posted: 4/19/2007 4:25:47 PM | THE rotten apple in the barrel! Best to Dutch Treat on first meet OR discuss it BEFORE you go anywhere. I'd never go for a meal with someone I had never met before. That's just the way I am. I don't drink coffee or tea BUT I'll go to have a club soda, fruit drink or glass of water! Meal shouldn't be till down the road 3 or 4 meets BUT never first. AND if either gender is adamant about paying, let them, don't make a scene because they are being an azzhole.
Pretty stupid test, and who the heck knew it was a test, a test what for? Possibly to make you feel bad. Yes some women are ball breakers and yes some men are creeeps.
NO your not a CREEP, well I don't know that for a fact but based on your OP no not a creep you! (smile)
Learn from this.<img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif border=0>  | |
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Posted: 4/19/2007 4:44:43 PM | Word of advice .... don't take a woman to dinner on a first date ... EVER!!! This applies too much pressure for both parties and can you imagine every first date you go on and take every one of them to dinner ?... sheesh talk about burning a hole in your pocket! Why not keep it simple and go for a casual drink or coffee and avoid all the dinner BS? This woman is obviously a loser for putting you through such an idiotic "test". Count your blessings at least she walked away with the tab because she's obviously not even worth 2 cents in my eyes. Talk about classless!!! Hope the next date goes better for you.  | |
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Tarika
| | Joined: 8/30/2006
Msg: 11 | |
| The Test
Posted: 4/19/2007 5:05:27 PM | | Oh man, the games some people will play. If she is doing this type of game or 'test' on the first date....can't imagine down the road. It's better to get rid of someone like her right away....plenty more fish in the sea. | |
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Posted: 4/19/2007 5:06:14 PM | | Well, you got your free taco, even if it was the wrong one. Still counts as a win. Good job! | |
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Posted: 4/19/2007 5:13:57 PM | OMG dreamscape.....you attempted multiple times....this woman sounds a bit off the norm.
Set boundaries the next time you agree to meet someone so you do not have to go through this again. Going 'dutch' the first meeting keeps you both on the same plain.
Do not beat yourself up over this 'strange' woman....and this comment is comming from a woman....but that was a totally unfair move and I think she had other issues that she did not disclose.
Write it off as a lessoned learned. I am sure that you have wonderful attributes to offer and you will certainly find a more appropriate match.
I wish you the best!  | |
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Posted: 4/19/2007 5:15:55 PM | It seems to me that the tacos weren't the only thing loco.  | |
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Posted: 4/19/2007 5:21:09 PM | Stupid games. She sounds like a twit. I reject the concept of either party paying the whole bill, especially if it's an online date. Everyone says the "asker" should pay, but let's be honest here. Every single person, male AND female, with a profile on this site is "asking" for a date.
I've had a couple of semi good-natured slap-fights over the bill, even though I make it crystal clear beforehand that I'm going to pay half, but it's never come down to that. I think if it did, I wouldn't make a big scene and chase him around the restaurant, but I'd put about the amount I would have paid on the table as an extra tip. Either the guy would realize I'm serious (not being coy, like one man thought), and be sensible, or the server would go home very happy (hey, I waited tables all through college - doing that would actually please me).
I don't think I'd want to date a man again if he dismisses my wishes. So from my point of view, in your case, you're better off having "failed" her silly test. | |
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Posted: 4/19/2007 5:28:03 PM | Yes, I do think that this was merely an excuse she used to not see you again. You say you insisted on paying three times. She was adamant about paying because: she didn't want to be beholden to you. She already wasn't interested somewhere before dinner was over.
So don't get your brain wrapped up in the excuse she gave you and start trying to figure out who pays and who asks, as if that really was the matter. That's not really what happened here. That's why it's confusing!
What really happened is that you probably, in your conversation with her, opened up and divulged all sorts of personal details about yourself to her, warts and all, paid her compliments, told her how you feel about her, gave an opinion she didn't like... you did something that was too much, too soon, the common sort of stuff that turns women off. | |
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Posted: 4/19/2007 5:48:08 PM | ~OP~ She's obviously got an issue or two if she choose harsh words to you. That in and of itself tells of her ilk. The situation was unfortunate, but your lucky it's over and you can move on. Not all women will act that ridiculous, nor will they be rude if and when they just don't feel they'd like to date you. Too bad you had such a terrible experience. Better luck next time.  | |
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Posted: 4/19/2007 6:00:06 PM |
...should I chase her around the resteraunt to get it back?
Much more urbane to lean back in your chair, glance away, and give her a quick spritz of pepper spray.
Now email me her #, I have lobster cravings | |
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Posted: 4/19/2007 6:48:16 PM | Next time try to mention how you like to operate on a first date when you are hoping to make some type arrangements with a girl.
Just work it in to the conversation in the 'getting to know you better chat' when she wants you to tell her a bit more about yourself.
"I consider myself polite because if I ask somebody out I....but I'm a modern man too and I have no problem with....."
I don't see how someone could become offended that way because you are only describing your own personality traits and a date hasn't even been arranged yet or even mentioned. | |
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Posted: 4/19/2007 6:52:13 PM | Msg 16 got it right^^^^^^
She didn't want to see you again and didn't want you to pay for the meal.
You know you offered to pick up the tab-forget about it/her.
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Posted: 4/19/2007 7:04:25 PM | | OP ~ She's jacked up.......soooooo not cool! Most of us don't "test"....gawd, at least I hope not! Amazing! | |
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Posted: 4/19/2007 7:11:22 PM |
Yes, I do think that this was merely an excuse she used to not see you again.
I agree with creativguy.  | |
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Posted: 4/19/2007 7:28:59 PM |
Everyone says the "asker" should pay
Funny how you say that because it was her that asked me to go to dinner with her and she said that since she was the one that asked me she would pay.
I am not the person to give any details about myself unless the person asks me. But maybe she just didn't like my answers 
She got out all of her pictures of her family and her daughter to show me so I was under the impression that she at least didn't think I was a creep.
One of the statements on the phone she made to me was:
"I'm looking for a man that is not afraid to spend money on a woman."
Very confusing experience...
But like others mentioned here, glad it was all over after only the first time. | |
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Tramp
| | Joined: 2/8/2007
Msg: 24 | |
| The Test
Posted: 4/19/2007 7:35:12 PM | dreamscape_36, do not worry she is an exception, most like to be wined and dined.
Keep on being a gentlemen. You lucky she, I have not found one whom offered to pay yet.
Sweet thing, my first meeting is always lunch or dinner, forget about coffee, like food too much.. where do you want me to take her, a walk in the woods? I need to eat first. | |
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Posted: 4/19/2007 7:49:47 PM | | wow sounds like a rather ufair test . i am all for splitting the bill as i always do this no exceptions but she grabbed it out of your hand.what did she want you to do wrestle her to the floor for the bill ?i dont see how this would make you cheap since she would not let you pay. | |
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