| Help! why do i Always have to make the first move?
Posted: 4/25/2005 10:43:09 AM | | I need some serious help here guys...and gals....i have found a wonderful man who would do anything for me materialistic wise and around the house and works hard..he is a long haul truck driver who is only home on the weekends....i would like to "catch up" for the lack of a better saying on the weekends intimately..but he just doesn't seem to ever want to make the first move on anything..i can dance naked in front of him..hint around make all kinds of moves and nothing.....nothing happens..i literally have to get all depressed and say that i am going to bed..before he gets a clue as to what i am wanting...then when we do "do it" its all of about 10 minutes and then thats it..no forplay...no oral...nothing....i am so accustomed to having it the opposite in my past relationships that i am finding this hard to grasp...am i putting too much emphasis on the sex? | |
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| Help! why do i Always have to make the first move?
Posted: 4/25/2005 10:45:20 AM | probably.
I would say that you should watch porn when he is home (in your room) and LET him see you doing it, OR, start masturbating and turning yourself on when he is near so he can see..and
chances are..
he's all over ya like a bear on honey.
My two cents? (he sounds like a good man)
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| Help! why do i Always have to make the first move?
Posted: 4/25/2005 10:51:29 AM | | I dunno. Something sounds wrong about your situation. If you're not happy about it now, I don't think you will be later. Cut him loose, and find someone who is more on your wavelength. | |
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| Help! why do i Always have to make the first move?
Posted: 4/25/2005 11:10:04 AM | TALK TO HIM!!!
Please, I'm begging you.
Tell him how you feel about it, and ask him his thoughts and feelings.
I am in a situation like that right now, and it has only gotten worse.
This is something that sounds like such a small thing in the grand
scheme of things, but it's not. Because it can get much worse.
At some point, you may even realize, it's been almost 2 years since
you last had any physical contact with him. | |
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| Help! why do i Always have to make the first move?
Posted: 4/25/2005 11:16:49 AM | If he is on the road 5 days a week and is only home on weekends and then is tending to things at home in his off time perhaps he is just tired.....plain and simple.....it may not be anything personal.....maybe he just isn't aware there is a problem.
You need to sit down and talk to this man. Make sure you are both on the same page as far as what both your wants and needs are within the relationship. If after chatting things aren't remedied then perhaps you'll have to go to the next step and consider parting ways but if you are content in most aspects of the relationship then put the effort into trying to put it on track again. | |
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| Help! why do i Always have to make the first move?
Posted: 4/25/2005 11:19:36 AM | | If I was on the road 5 days a week, the first thing I'd be "tending" to when I got home, was my woman. Some people are just cold for whatever reasons. But, I doubt it's something that will change. Talk to him about it if you think it will help. | |
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| Help! why do i Always have to make the first move?
Posted: 4/25/2005 11:20:34 AM | | i guess all of my hinting around isn't really "talking" now is it? i have gone to the extreme of just coming out and saying "you wanna make love?" and of course he says yes every time.....but the thing is it would be nice if he would make the first moves sometimes....makes me feel like i am forcing him in some way to make love to me...and then forget oral...i've done it to him more than he has to me...i guess maybe he isn't that type of guy? i don't know i've never asked him if he likes it or not...this is just so difficult..we've actually known each other for years but we were both in other relationships at the time and then suddenly he was in my life again...moved upstairs in my old apt building....fate? coincidence? i have no idea...but when i am used to being almost "groped" daiily for sex and now its gone to the other end of the pendulum i just can't seem to get used to this.....i don't know what to do...he is so wonderful in every other sense of a man...caring..do anything for me...if he had the money he would buy me anything i wanted....i don't know i don't know..... | |
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| Help! why do i Always have to make the first move?
Posted: 4/25/2005 11:24:28 AM | | Well, you got to bring it up if you want to work it out, or even if you just want closure. There may be a reason. But, guys are funny, by bringing it up, he may feel you are accusing him of being a poor lover. THAT can kill the relationship in an instant. | |
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| Help! why do i Always have to make the first move?
Posted: 4/25/2005 11:54:05 AM | | Hinting around in my experiences have a tendency to miss the point......if you aren't clear in what you are wanting he more then likely will miss it......there is no need to attack his sexual abilities......of course that would be insulting to anyone......but if he values you and the relationship he will be open to discussing your needs and desires as well as expressing his own. Communication is key and great sex comes from open communication. Of course that's just my opinion. | |
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| Help! why do i Always have to make the first move?
Posted: 4/25/2005 12:13:31 PM | | I meant to say that even if you approach him in the best way he may still take it as a slam against his sexual prowess. I'm not saying it's logical for him to do that, but I think it's likely that he will get hostile about it. Guys aren't really that good about "communicating". | |
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| Help! why do i Always have to make the first move?
Posted: 4/25/2005 1:09:07 PM | | i think you may be right there jewel67...i know of his past girlfriend and she definitely wasn't one who showed him a lot of affection...their lives together were mostly based i think on sheer convenience more than anything...he has never been with a girl like me who wants to be touched and loved and shown love....so maybe he is afraid..i just find myself at my wits end sometimes when all the right moves for most men aren't the ones for him..even coming right out and asking him seems to be almost a "job" rather than a pleasurable experience...not that sex is what makes a relationship but it certainly does help! | |
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| Help! why do i Always have to make the first move?
Posted: 4/26/2005 12:43:09 AM | Stop hinting.
Make yourself busy and look as pretty as you can.
If he never ever initiates... ask yourself if you can live a life without sex.
Personally a guy like that would drive me nuts.
I'd look for greener pastures asap. | |
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| Help is on hand!
Posted: 4/26/2005 8:05:27 PM | OK i only read the first 6 or so replies and then i relized this was me 7-10 yrs ago.
and this is going to hurt..
Pre-ejeculation problem
The only answer that i know {by experiance..shhh} that works, is for you to train him..
One of my exes found this problem with me.Courtisy of my first lover that would scream blue murder with KY and all..So subcontiously i became the 10 minute man,
ANYWAY Kerrie was great in the way she relized i had a problem and said nothing to me about it.Instead she made me arrise to the occasion 15 - 30 minutes after the ten minute bonk and went again which lasted longer and repeat etc...after about one month when our sex lasted for 5 hours she told me what she had done..What could i say..?
I hope this helps
phill | |
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| Help! why do i Always have to make the first move?
Posted: 4/26/2005 9:01:06 PM | Communication is really the best thing here. There are ways of discussing it so that you don't put him on the defensive. It sounds like he's got some sort of issue - probably can be worked through if he knows how important it is to you.
Remember, men DO NOT get hints, we need to be hit on the head. | |
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